I've decided to take Garathorn and His mobs story to the tip and do another one that I can end whenever I want.
Chapter One
In which: the characters break a mirror, in a tree house, and the old man lands on a hard substance, the threadlike second-character falls on the fatter one, Skinny whistles and comes upon a house with a kind host, poison!, An argument over a twig, the stump, a swim, another battle.
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One day an old man and another old man (one of them was five feet tall and he was marvellously fat while the other one was a extremely skinny 7 foot tall old skeleton of a man) were going for a walk. Since all adventures start by the main characters falling into a mirror and ending up in another world, then that's probably how I'm going to have to start this one because you can't get around the law. Well they just happened to be going to their tree house (and this tree house had a little handheld mirror) so they climbed up the ladder that led into their tree house and got the mirror. Then the fat one touched it and he disappeared. and then the Skinny man touched it and disappeared leaving the mirror suspended in mid air for half a second (for the mirror was deciding whether it should stay and wait to see if the owner of the mirror would appear again, but decided to abide in the law of gravity) then it smashed to the floor giving them seven years of bad luck.
Now let us go to what happened the the old men. Well the first one, (the short and fat one) happened to fall on a flat piece of cement which was in the middle of the wood (don't ask me how it got to be in the middle of the wood, it was just there to make life tough for the old man). Also the skinny 7 foot tall man landed in the same spot, which was still occupied by the short and fat 5 foot tall man. Squashing the short-and-fat-5-foot-tall-4-foot-wide old man so that he became a 'short-and-fat-5-and-a-half-foot-tall-5-foot-wide-old man' also making his profile view a bit shorter from left to right. Now the extremely-skinny-man-who-was-7-feet-tall was extremely fortunate to land on the short-and-fat-5-and-a-half-foot-tall-5-foot-wide-old man, Because it broke his fall (and the piece of cement). Now as you might have noticed, this story is extremely descriptive in every microscopic detail. I have already described the misfortunes of the short-and-fat-5-and-a-half-foot-tall-5-foot-wide-old man. So now I will describe the misfortunes of what ensued after the landings of the short-and-fat-5-and-a-half-foot-tall-5-foot-wide-old man and the extremely-skinny-man-who-was-7-feet-tall. A began to argue that each others misfortunes were even more misfortunate than the others. Following which, a battle was begun where the extremely-skinny-man-who-was-7-feet-tall had a lot of height wich was better for some things like jumping up into trees to escape the short-and-fat-5-and-a-half-foot-tall-5-foot-wide-old mans wild frenzy (For he was a Bedlamite) Suddenly in the middle of the battle the short-and-fat-5-and-a-half-foot-tall-5-foot-wide-old man stuck out his hand so to shake that of the skinny man (we shall call the skinny man 'Skinny' and the other 'Fat' okay) Skinny was surprised but then remembered that it was normal for Fat to do this sort of thing (For he was a Bedlamite) so they shook hands and the battle was finished. The now sworn comrades decided that this was not their home (earth) and so they decided to set off and explore it. They found (like what there always is in forests) a cottage. Golden rule of writing: 'if one goes walking in a forest, one must 'happen' to find a cottage, also, the cottage must have a plume of snoke coming from it's chimney.' Next rule is that 'the owner of the cottage must happen to have the kettle on.' So, walking in the laws of writing, I will continue the story. Skinny took the lead with Fat trotting along behind, (or rather galloping) for he had to keep up with Skinnys long strides. Skinny began to whistle the tune 'Roll out the Barrel' and Fat wanted to join in but he had to use all his breath for running with.
They happened to come across a small stone cottage, which had smoke emitting from the chimney. deciding to view the inhabitant or inhabitants they strode/galloped forward and knocked on the door. It happened to be an 'inhabitant' and not 'inhabitants' He offered them in saying that he just happned to have the kettle on. they walked in and heard the kettle whistling away to it's hearts content. I do not really know if kettles have hearts. But to Fat this one seemed to, For it was whistling to its hearts content.
I have decided to break the law right now, the law being that the writer must make the inhabitant of a cottage a nice chubby little fellow. In short, I have decided to make the inhabitant an evil poisonous fellow who is tall and not skinny or fat. I must hope and pray that my punishment for breaking the law wont be too severe on judgement day.
Fat thought the man had a twinkle in his eye while at the same time Skinny was deciding that he had the opposite to a twinkle. I don't really know what the opposite to a twinkle is so I am not saying. In short: The eye of Fat perceived hi to be kindly while the eye of Skinny perceived him a vile worm trying to hide his vileness with a twinkle. Let us bring these petty descriptions to a close and continue with the riveting account of Fat and Skinny.
The kindly worm, of whos name, they figured out, was Edgar Larrikin, took the kettle away and put a mysterious powder inside it, which he said was a harmless poison that sent one to sleep, (I won't tell you that he mixed his Poison up with flour until later). Saying that he was inserting a couple of packets of sugar. Bringing the kettle back now he ut it in front of them with an evil glare in his eyes that even Fat could make out. But as Fat was a Bedlamite, he didn't realize that an evil glare in ones eye meant that the owner of the fiercome glare was a bad character.
Edgar Larrikin had thought that the substance he had put in was his fast killing poison that he put on a shelf next to a packet of flour which was in the cellar that had a wall that was made of stone and was very cold. The cellar was situated under the floor of Edgar Larrikins house which was a wooden floor with lots of red stains on it. The poison, he had put in a bag that looked exactly like that of flour. so as he wouldn't get on the bad side of any visitor that came and saw a bag labeled poison.
For, he thought, If one was to come in and see a bag labeled 'Poison, only to be put in visitors drinks' then the Visitors would begin to suspect that he was a Madcap and leave as soon as possible. Which is a very logical explanation, for John Doe was a wise man.
I remember one day a long time ago a man came to my house and he asked to go and use the bathroom. On his way ther he lost his way and found himself in my poison room for, as I take a liking to experiments and high explosive powders and liquids I kept a room especially for the ingredients of my experiments. He wandered in there helplessly lost in the labyrinth of rooms that I had and came across a bottle labeled. 'Poison:' it read, causing the lungs to shrivel to the size of an apple. My once fine friend now became a bit wary of me. He picked up another bottle and read the label. Head shrinking poison, it read. My now terrified friend was going to rush from the room, when he caught sight of another red bottle. It was labeled: Drinking Petroleum. this was too much, and the last thing I saw was his back and his arms flailing as he ran away. I had troubles with the police shortly after.
Back to the story, They drank their tea and knowing it was poison but drinking it anyway. Skinny knew not why he drank, but he was thirsty. Fat said it tasted like bread. Then after thanking their Host they walked out the door leaving a bewildered manager behind them.
After that little episode, the Two travellers knew not which way to turn. Fat sugested West while Skinny sugested that they go East. Fat told Skinny that he would begin a frenzy if they didn't go West, and Skinny said he wuld pick Fat upand drop him if they didn't go East. Then a thought came to Skinny:
“Which way is East and which was is North?”
Fat raised his eyebrows and shut his eyes in a manner that would impress the most clever of scholars.
“Of course, as an astronomer [he was not] I can tell the directions by the stars,” he said in a manner that would also impress the most clever of scholars.
Fat wishing to impress Skinny, (still with his eyes shut) looked up into the heavens, then he opened his eyes, and percieved that there was not a star in the sky. He had forgotten that it was day and that he was in a different world and that stars might not exist in this world.
His pride shattered, (for he could not tell direction from the sun). he sat down on a thistle and leaped up to the height of Skinny, then chose a better spot to sit down and sat there in a heap of gloom that could have been mistaken for a dung heap. His gloom soon transferred to Skinny who, for half a second, thought he was a dung heap. And they both sat down and knew not where to turn.
Then they decided that the would throw a stick and see which way it pointed, So fat chose one that had a twig on one side and a leaf on the other, and threw it. It landed pointing alng the path, then an argument ensued from the fact that Skinny said that the side that decided which way they were going was the side with the leaf while Fat said it was the side with the twig. so Fat made a decision, and said that it was the leaf side, and so they threw it again. This time it pointed into the forest, But Fat didn't want to go there so they threw it again, and it pointed back to the evil mans house, But Skinny didn't want to go back in there so they threw it again and this time it pointed to a big oak tree, But They both didn't want to go there, Fat wanted it to point to a Stump and Skinny wanted it to point to a lake that was behind them. But it didn't do any of them so Fat finally dropped the stick and made it to point to the stump and then Skinny argued and moved it to point to the Lake. But Fat said he's go into another frenzy and Skinny said he's pick Fat up and drop him. but fat insisted, so they went to the stump, but there was nothing interesting there s fat went back and got the sitck and made it point to the lake, and so they walked to the lake and threw it again and this time it pointed into the lake so they went into the lake. They had a good time swimming until Fat yelled when he thought something touched him. Fat started racing back to the shore until Skinny confessed that it was him touching him to see what he did.
Then Fat said he would go into a Frenzy and Skinny said he would pick Fat up and drop him if he went into a frenzy so a vicious circle was made. and it went on for some hours. Finally fat said:
“I'm pooped,” and Skinny said,
“Amen”
so they stopped and then described all the fancy things they had done to each other and remarking how fun it was. Fat was saying.
'It was great I would go into a frenzy and bite your leg and then just as I was getting to the bone you'd pick me up and drop me and then I'd perform the same ceremony,' while Skinny was saying,
“Yes, yes,” to punctuate Fat's wild talking. Eventually they grew tired of talking. Fat wanted to continue talking of his wonderful moves and Skinny said he's had enough of his bragging voice. Fat said he would go into a frenzy and Skinny said he'd pick Fat up and drop him but then Fat would argue by saying that he wuld be biting onto his leg so that skinny wouldn't be able to pick him up.
Then suddenly a big sea monster came up out of the water. (because I am sticking to the laws again, for always when there is a lake there is a sort of monster in it). Fat said.
“I'll go into a frenzy and bite him and you can jump on him,” so it was decided. and Fat went into a frenzy and Skinny jumped on the monster. Then Fat fell to spitting and coughing and swam back to the shore because he said the monster tasted “Foul” and he had had enough. So Skinny said to the monster that they had had enough and so the monster went back into the depths with a smart salute. Skinny went back to the shore and began to follow Fats suite and basked alongside him.
what do ya think of it. Tell me if you want more. Okay.
Wotcher
BobaFett/Nathan
