You know who you are.  :-)

I'm in the process of doing a favor (I guess that's what this is...too complicated to label easily with one word) for a friend, and I'm writing a chapter for her ebook.  My topic is the Charlotte Mason method as it applies to preschool at home.  I haven't written anything formal - other than the occasional resume - since I wrote my ex-husband's final paper for him, for him to graduate from the police academy.  I did get a good grade, as I recall.  Makes me wonder what the statute of limitations is on such a "crime', and what would happen if I called the police dept. in question, and confessed.   But I digress...

So, I'm writing this chapter.  And thus, why I'm not writing much on this blog.  Well, truthfully....I only actually started real writing on this chapter today.  All the preceding weeks have been spent researching, and stressing.  But that's all part of the process, right?

So, dearly beloved subscriber....if you're in the mood to do some friendly, (read: gentle) editing/critiquing, email me, and I'll send you what I've got so far.  (I'm too lazy to hunt up your email address, as it's buried some pages back in my over-cluttered inbox.)

That's been what my day has been about.

David was supposed to arrive home last night at 10:30 p.m., but called at 9:00 letting me know that they had missed their connecting flight, and he'd have to stay the night in L.A., and catch the first flight home this a.m.   So, after getting 4 very disappointed kids to bed, I was soothing my own disappointment with a 4 oz lava cake topped with probably 8 oz whipped cream...the real stuff, of course... when I noticed our cat running in circles around the legs of the baby swing.  I walked over to see what was going on, and noticed that the circles were being choreographed by our hamster.  How he got out, I have no idea.  I tossed the cat out onto the back porch, and was then able to scoop up the hamster and put him back in his cage.  None of the doors were open, all hatches seemed secure. 

***Editor's note:  I started this post weeks ago.  I am finding that I have time to either live life, or write it down....but not both.  We'll see which wins.  In the meantime, the hamster was found, I can't remember which rant about my siblings I was going to blather, and I will again be going to the airport....***

Mother Nature: A History of Mothers, Infants, and Natural Selection, by Sarah Blaffer Hrdy.

I found this nice weighty tome while purusing Goodwill a month or so back.  I had no idea when I picked it up what a fascinating read it would be.  I can't even begin to put all my thoughts about this book into just one entry.

Now, this book is written from a fairly feminist viewpoint, and, obviously, from an evolutionary one.  Nevertheless....

I found it to do a pretty good job of stating what is, rather than what one person feels should be.  And then presents some hypotheses on what all of it might mean.  The author does an incredibly good job of handling topics as usually un-touched as infanticide, the sensuality of breastfeeding, and the community-sanctioned "pruning" off of no-longer-useful elderly women. 

So...natural selection.  I'm ashamed to admit, before reading this book, I didn't even really have a clear idea what it actually is. Now, being a good christian (and a mormon one at that..;-)), I am supposed to *not* believe in evolution.  Natural selection is usually associated with evolution.  But....well, perhaps I will just state what I *do* believe.

I believe that God created Adam and Eve.  What they were like, genetically....I don't know.  And what has happened to the human gene pool between then and now.....I believe a lot has happened.  There's that scripture talking about the sons of God marrying (and breeding with) the daughters of men.  What exactly does that mean? We don't know.  We do know that perverted people in the past (and present, I suppose, although I really don't care to think about it) have practiced ***********.  If there were creatures back in the days that were strikingly human-like, but not human in the sense of direct, unpoluted descendants of the people that God created, I don't think it unlikely that there could have been breeding going on.  Polute the gene pool of the human race.  Evolution.  It's all tied in. 

Natural selection....that's easy, though.  Doesn't require any sticky theological problems to be solved.   Traits that lead to babies living will be selected for.  Cuteness, for one.  Be cute enough that your mom will take care of you, and you win the contest of natural selection.  What is really amazing to think about, though, is all the babies that did not win that contest. 

We're having a rash of autism in our country.  Is this a trait that's being selected for?  I wonder...

If, as I suspect, my father has asperger's.....you would think that having a disease like that would make a person less likely to reproduce.  Especially given the classic symptom of poor social skills.  But, reproduce he did....7 living offspring.  One of which is my sister, who I also believe to have aspergers.  And reproduce she did...3 living children.  I believe her aspergers has made her more likely to reproduce, in that it has made her easier to be taken advantage of.  However, that's only half of it...the definition of success, in the sense of natural selection, is reproducing offspring that go on to reproduce themselves.  Why have these people in my family been able to actually raise their offspring.  In the case of my father.....his aspergers came with a brilliant mind, which made him able to provide financially.  In the case of my sister....government assistance.  Not sure about my thoughts on that one.

I myself have two children who are labeled by some as "special needs".  They have sensory processing dysfunction.  What will the implications of this be in their lives?  What does it mean to me, in terms of natural selection, and personal responsibility?

Topics for future blogging...

I am having this image in my mind, of one of those pages from an encyclopedia on the human body.  The kind where the pages are clear, each with a drawing of a different system of the body.  And you lay them down, one by one, over eachother, seeing all the layers come together, until you can see the whole, big, messy, but realistic, picture of the whole human body. 

I wonder tonight....what does the whole picture of our purpose in life look like? 

I hit the "random blog" button, just to try it out.  And ended up here.  "Tryoneverthing" (is that "Try One Very  Thing"?  Or "Try On Everything"?) writes very beautifully on the topic of self-fulfillment *not* being what life is all about.

I also visited the site of a dear friend tonight, here.  He talks about the pursuit of *current* happiness as being scriptural, valuable, and generally a good thing. 

And I believe them both.  I think the true whole picture must lie somewhere in the realm of "If you quit trying to be happy, you will be happy.  If you quit trying to be fulfilled, you will find fulfillment."  Easy to say.  Very counterintutive to live out.

But that's enough philosophic ramblings for one night.  I can see that it would not be a good thing for me to end up a single mom again.  I recall that going to sleep wasn't something that I did a very good job of during those single days.  And now, with David out of town for just 5 days, I'm back into those avoid the bedroom habits.  But back then, I only had one very easy-going toddler and a full-time job to demand my energy in the morning.  Now....well, now is another story.  So to sleep, perchance to dream...but I hope not.

So, since I'm new to this, I suppose I'll want to figure out how all this works.  For instance, I noticed as I posted my first entry that I had options to allow (or not allow) "backtracking".  It certainly would be easier to make such a decision if I had any clue what "backtracking" was.  Oh well.  Default settings are a blessing.  I'm sure Charlotte Mason would approve.

The other section that has interested me is the "friends" section.  It would seem that I should fill in there all the usernames of my friends, so that people who are reading this - who are presumably somewhat interested in me - can then follow those links to see what it is that I'm interested in.  And continue the never-ending path of link-clicking. 

I confess, the thought of that fills me with thoughts of things like recess playgrounds, and youth group activities.  Is adult life no different?  Is there still be a place for advertisement of one's popularity?  If I have no friends, wouldn't it be ok for nobody to know it?  And if I do have friends, do they want to be advertised?  Or would they be embarrassed to admit to the friendship?  So, if I did have friends that I wanted to list, presumably I should ask them if they want to be listed.  And then what if they don't?  Will they feel awkward, like they need to give a good reason, other than not wanting to be publicly linked with me? 

I think I will remain friend-less. 

Well, well, well. I'm 'blogging.  Never thought I would.  Seemed far too trendy.  But, I cannot deny the advantages.  Free hosting, for one.  I never have had the patience, or been willing to devote the time, to have David teach me how to make my own webpage.  So, I'll just do this the easy way.

I've always read and heard that journaling is very therapeutic.  Who am I to doubt all those experts?  Still, I do wonder, if perhaps it just gives one opportunity to think about all the things that there are to complain about.

Anyway...To say nothing about the dog.  Just a book title.  A very good book title.  Or, rather, the title of a very good book.  We "named" our homeschool after an object in this book.  The Bishop's Birdstump.  Even at the end of the book, you still dont' really know what it is, and certainly not what it looks like.  And since we are the Bishops, we must therefore have the "Bishops' Birdstump Boarding School".  Although we don't mention that to anyone at David's work, since boarding schools, understandably, aren't a popular topic there. 

And it has come in handy in other uses.  When the girls wanted to sell bread, we became the Birdstump Bakery. 

And if we wanted to sell cute clothing, it would be the Birdstump Boutique.  And I suppose if I really wanted to change my line of work......well, nevermind.  We won't go there.  But it's a really useful moniker. 

And, for the record, we have no dog; so it is pretty unlikely that I will ever say anything "of the dog".