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Learning to listen for HIS voice
Nov. 3, 2008
Confessions
It seems like I am getting more and more nervous about homeschooling. I know it makes no sense as I am an experienced homeschool mom but the truth, the scary I don't want to share with anyone truth is I failed at homeschooling the first time around. Now don't get me wrong the kids were academically ahead when they started their schools last year, and socially they have had no problems fitting in but both Chris and Chelsea hate homeschooling. Instead of raising future homeschooling parents I taught them to hate the very thought of schooling at home. They feel about homeschool the way I felt about traditional school.
The first few years of homeschool were all trial and error. We didn't have the money for the fancy packaged curriculums so we tried unit studies and Charlotte Mason but ended up really just being workbook/unschoolers and eventually went to SOS which they truly hated. We started out being very involved with homeschool groups but in later years I felt the need to go back to work and we barely left out house for school events. Basically I flaked horribly on them. Now I have my excuses. I dealt badly with my mothers death, worse with my sons death and I sought solace in work instead of God and my family. But that reason, that excuse just makes it worse!
Well I have decided to homeschool again. Not Chris and Chelsea who look at me in terror, and not Tristan who I don't feel capable of handling at this point but Phoenix and Gryphen. I think it is the right thing to do for my two small sons who are so quickly becoming men of the worse sort in the hands of the local Church run school. So I am terrified. I don't want to drop the ball again. I want to make these boys love homeschool and to have the desire to homeschool their own children!
I think I have a good plan. I have chosen curriculums and activities to their interests and abilities. I am getting it all laid out and organized ahead of time. I am afraid of going to far in either direction though. I mean overplanning and overscheduling can be just as bad as neglecting things as I ended up doing with Chris and Chelsea.
Anyways. I just needed to get it out. Let my fears go so I can embrace our homeschooling challenges.
I am waiting for a new printer and the rest of our schoolbooks to arrive so I can put together our notebooks. I am deciding if we should have desks or just use the bar or craft table in our craft room (soon to be school room). I am choosing all the visuals to use in our minioffices (we are going to use these instead of bulletin boards all over the room). And I am trying to find just the right layout for our days. Mostly I have to keep the fear at bay and pull my shoulders back and smile as I put the boys on their bus to school tomorrow and know it won't be much longer til we are home together again. |
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