Here is an article I wrote some time back.  I ran across it recently, and felt led to share it with y'all.

Blessings,

:)Michelle

A Garden Full of Friends

Like-minded gal pals are especially important for those of us who are called to the sometimes very isolated career of home education.  Oh, how I love my dear Titus girlfriends!  For years, I struggled to surround myself with sincere Titus women.  I longed for and prayed diligently for the companionship of like-minded gals seeking God while honoring their husbands and cherishing their children.  I yearned to sharpen steel with women after God’s own heart. 

All too often, women get caught up in unhealthy friendships where complaining, negativity, and whining are the primary purpose… instead of being only momentary lapses of God-focus.  All too often, these misguided relationships breed bitterness, discontentment, and despair with in our marriages and motherhood. 

The following insight comes from Renee, a homeschool mom, from Lubbock.  What an honoring way to view life’s friendships! 

Friends are like flowers… some are annuals, some are perennials, and some are wildflowers.

Those that are annuals… just like the name implies, are only good for one season.  We all have encountered friends like this.  They are in our lives for a short time, but while they were there, they brought a source of joy and beauty. 

Those that are perennials… again just like the name suggests, come back year after year and have a good root system.  These are the friends that you can depend on being there.  Though they may only bloom one season, they are always there...growing. 

Those that are wildflowers… just as the name hints, are wild and you don't know where they came from.  They may be native to the area, but nonetheless, you don't know exactly how they got there.  These friends are wonderful surprises...they just pop up!  They may look like a weed to begin with, but grow into something beautiful.  The best thing about them is they continue to spread, making more beautiful flowers to enjoy. 

Like every garden, weeds are bound to pop up.  But as my father-in-law once told me even a flower can be a weed when it grows where it is not wanted.  Even though the flower may be beautiful, it is still a weed.  In order to grow an abundant garden, you must get rid of the weeds.

Where is the wisdom in all of this?  As I look into my past and the friends I have made and lost, I can pick out those who fall into each category.  We have to be willing to let our flowers grow or go.  Sometimes friendships turn out to be weeds, but we do not need to get our feelings hurt or be bitter. We have to realize that they are beautiful, but maybe they just weren't meant to grow in our garden. 

I absolutely adore this analogy!!!  I adore it because it makes perfect sense when I think of all the “flowers” that have budded, wilted, or grown throughout my life.  I adore it because it removes the soap opera, junior high, cat-fight, juvenile drama by still honoring each woman as a loved child of God (in spite of whatever may have transpired within the relationships).

For years, I struggled with feeling guilty about spending an occasional night out or for an inadvertently lengthy counseling session via telephone with my Titus friends.  I love my husband and children more dearly than I ever thought possible to love any human beings, and, therefore, continued to grapple that maybe I was neglecting them by spending any moment away from them.  However, I was recently blessed with an epiphany!

Several scriptures, Holy Spirit whispers, and God-guidance given through God-loving preachers, teachers, and friends perfectly came together at one incredible, freeing moment.  Even bible women needed their God-given girlfriends around them.  Ruth, Naomi, Mary, Martha, Mary, Elizabeth… the list goes on… these women needed their God-given Titus friends (and yes, relatives can be friends, too).  We all need cherished friends who can completely understand us without our ever having to speak out loud a single solitary word. 

I am so amazingly blessed to have several Titus friends who mentor me, ground me, refocus me, encourage me, scold me, laugh at me, laugh with me, comfort me, pray with me, and pray for me… just to mention a few of the numerous ways they point me back to God on a regular basis. 

***WARNING:  If your friends are not pointing you back to God… RUN AWAY FROM THEM NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Does this need for girly buddies in any way imply that husbands are inadequate to meet the needs of wives?  Concluding from scripture, I do not believe so.  God graciously provides us with dear “flowers” to make our lives more beautiful as we grow along side each other toward His plan and for His glory. 

A couple of additional warnings… know that complete transparency is vital with any friendship outside a marriage.  In these friendships, there are NO secrets kept… not wives from husbands or husbands from wives.  Also, be extremely cautious… Satan can quickly and effortlessly gain a sinful foothold in male-female relationships outside the marriage relationship.  Finally, be certain that a friendship does not cause any of us to covertly avoid growth issues in our Christian walks, our marriages, or our motherhood.

So, are your friends annuals, perennials, wildflowers, or weeds?  Perhaps God is prompting you to seek new Titus “flowers” OR to simply cultivate the healthy “gardens” already growing within your life.