It wasn’t until Jesus saved my wretched little soul that my life had any direction . Over the years I have stepped foot into every type of Church. From Charismatic Catholic to Reformed Presbyterian, Several types of Baptist, Calvary Chapels, Mega Churches with Stand Up Comedian Pastors and Little Country Churches with members who are more Church Lady-ish than Dana Carvey’s Saturday Night Live character.

I’ve danced for Jesus, clapped for Him, worn dresses only supposedly in His name, I covered my head, uncovered my head, cut my hair, let it grow long, drank wine, eschewed alcohol, ate meat, didn’t eat meat spoken in tongues, been slain in the Holy Sprit. Namely whatever I thought or was told at the moment was the Christian thing to do. I went the Name it and Claim it route. The Ultra Conservative, Denim Jumper wearing Sister Connie-better-than-you route. (no flames, I’m speaking about myself) All in an effort to be that GOOD Christian. Give me the rules, the path and I’ll follow them to the letter. It was not until recently that it dawned on my over educated and under spiritualized self that there is nothing I can DO.

Nope NADA! Nothing. For I am a sinner and my righteousness is as filthy rags. He has already done it all. I have what I have because of His grace and mercy. What good there is in me is only, I repeat for emphasis ONLY, because of Christ in me. I deserve nothing. Yet, I have everything, because of His mercy and grace. Who am I that He should spend a nano second listening to my prayers. He does, I am awed by His grace and His unconditional love for a not so swell Christian woman.

When my life is over and I am face to face with Him, I will not run up and hug Him, nor will I dance for Him or clap my hands and shout. I believe I will simply lay face down (read; throw myself) on the ground at His feet. Awed, humbled , profoundly thankful and amazed that He cared one wit for a sinner like me.

I am not the dancing and jumping for Jesus type. I am an equal opportunity Christian. If that is what brings you closer to Jesus great! . I am the type who will quietly and persistently witnesses to someone until they give in or we both pass out. As for worship, I prefer finding a quiet spot, bowing my head and closing my eyes . I need quiet and reverence to listen and to praise my Amazing Savior.

If you ever are in one of those gatherings where folks are clapping and shouting and waving for Jesus, and you glance over and there is someone who is quietly praying to their Savior. Don’t worry they know Him just as well as you, they are just praying and praising Him their own way.

God is working in my life. Quietly, carefully, day by day, moment by moment His presence and healing increases. As always my walk with Him is one foot in front of the other. My water is not turned to wine and I don’t see Jesus’s face in my tortillas. I see Him in the face of my children and hear Him in my husbands gentle and kind words. Feel His presence when He leads me to bless my family and not curse them.

Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. He rescued me, teaches, loves me even when I am incredibly unlovable and is simply the oldest and dearest friend I have. My heart is open, laying in His hands and available for Him to do what He sees fit. To God be the glory!