Have you ever had lots to share, but you don't know where to begin?  I'm there today.  I want to share things about our friend, Jesse.  I want to get my BFS assignment done.  I want to share some things the LORD has been sharing with me and about Campmeeting with Perry Stone at our home church from Wednesday night...so much stuff to share, and I really don't have the time to do it or know where to begin.  Do people actually read my stuff? Does it really matter?  Am I making a difference in anyone's life?  These questions and a whole lot more are going through my head. 

Until I have more time...Blessings!

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My dh called me yesterday.  I was at my dad's house visiting.  DH called oldest dd's phone to find me (I don't have any reception at Dad's) I guess dh thought dd was at work.  When dd answered dh was crying. (My dh doesn't cry...or shall I say very, very, very seldom) Dd asked what was the matter.  Dad told her.  Dd gasped and started crying too.  I get on the phone and I couldn't even understand dh...then he calmed down and said Jesse had gone hunting with Carlos (two of dh's friends from a previous direct job up in WA...we were there for almost 2 years and have kept in touch with both families) and had a massive heart attack and passed away.  OH MY!  The details were very sketchy...because we found out from an email from another working buddy.  My dh says I want to go up the viewing is tomorrow. "Do you have a problem with that?"he asked. "No"...he hangs up, I guess he spent time getting more info and a flight and flew out this morning at 8 am after driving in from Houston (flights were cheaper form Austin).  I took him to the airport at 5:30...

Dh got a chance to talk to Adrienne, Jesse's wife yesterday...told her he was coming up.  Of course she said it wasn't necessary.  He told her He knew Jesse would want him there to be a strength to her and to some of the other mutal folks they know.  (like Carlos) Adrienne told dh words that really comforted him..."You know Jesse loved you.  Even after you moved he talked about you often."

On the way to the airport another mutal friend called, told dh about the arrangements, etc...dh is still speechless and so sad-I HATE seeing him like that...wish I could take it away and make it better.  (But I know who can, and I'm praying for GOD to comfort him now) Apparently, Jesse, Carlos, and Adrienne were out in Montana on their property deer hunting.  Jesse and Carlos were dragging back some deer that had shot.  Jesse and Carlos were just laughing and enjoying their time together.  Jesse would stop because he would get winded, and say somethin' like I'm not as young as I use to be (I can hear him laughing and saying that too).  They were walking side by side and suddenly Jesse calapsed.  Carlos got him back to the camp, performed CPR, Adrienne took over, Carlos drove out to the main road to get his Onstar to work.  The paramedics came did what they could I guess on the way to the hospital, but he was pronounced dead when they got him to town.

This post isn't turning out the way I thought...I wanted to spend sometime talking about Jesse...but I guess I needed to share all that first...so instead of making this post any longer I think I'll save that for my next post and just ask you all to pray for comfort and strength to Adrienne and all of us that loved Mr. Jesse! 

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When did this crossover take place?  Why or How did it come so quickly?  One day I was a thin, bubbly, young mom and the next thing I know I have gray hairs poking out, fifty pounds heavier, and not so bubbly anymore...Instead I'm giving advice to the younger moms-yet still searching for answers myself.  When I was in my twenties I looked up to older women.  I needed an older woman in my life to fulfill a motherly role to me.  (My mom past away when I was 18. )  I married when I was 21, had my first by 22...my mil certainly wasn't a mother figure to me (she still doesn't like me).  I have a very dear friend that took me under her wing, mentored me and is still there for me! (thank you, Sister Sylvia) Yet, I'm puzzled this morning on how and why I got here and why it happened so quickly!!!

After hearing Melody Green talk about Keith this past weekend...this song has really been on my heart:

Grace By Which I Stand

 Lord, the feelings are not the same,

I guess I'm older, I guess I've changed.

And how I wish it had been explained,

that as you're growing you must remember,

That nothing lasts, except the grace of God, by which I stand, in Jesus.

I know that I would surely fall away, except for grace, by which I'm saved.

Lord, I remember that special way,

I vowed to serve you, when it was brand new.

But like Peter, I can't even watch and pray, one hour with you,

And I bet, I could deny you too.

But nothing lasts, except the grace of God, by which I stand, in Jesus.

I'm sure that my whole life would waste away,

except for grace, by which I'm saved.

But nothing lasts, except the grace of God, by which I stand, in Jesus.

I know that I would surely fall away, except for grace, by

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LORD GOD, Thank YOU for YOUR Grace.  Help me to remember it is YOUR GRACE that saves me and not anything I can do myself.  I give all my doubts, fears, lacks...I thank YOU that each day is new and fresh...and the things of yesterday I can't change, but I can with YOUR GRACE and YOUR ABILITY today make a difference.  I can do all things through YOU!  AMEN!!!

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