Posted in Gods Work

As I continue my journey to conforming my life to Christ, I feel inadequate, as many do.  I work towards a goal and fall flat on my face.  Did you notice that I said "I work".  A major component of conformation is allowing God to work through me.  His the Puppeteer, I am the puppet, in many ways. 

I have been told that I will know I am growing when I can see the fruit or others comment on the fruit.  I am struggling with that at the moment.  Although I have been praying through some fairly odd and tough issues (for me), I don't feel I have produced any fruit. 

One issue in particular is with our oldest.  At 15 he has crossed over from wanting our approval to wanting to be an adult.  However his thought process, not matured yet, is typical of the teen years.  Sometimes he will say something and I will think, "I remember feeling that way."  Over the last week or so I have been praying for God to work through me to control my sarcasm.  Sarcasm, a way of dealing with life, has infected my son.  Not only has he developed this sense of humor, but but his eyes tell a story when I make a sarcastic comment about something pertaining to him. 

I have been praying and making every effort to allow God to work through me on this issue.  I had just been praising God for helping me curb the sarcasm in all aspects of my life, especially regarding the son.  Then on Monday, during our Bible study time (AIM), he said he doesn't think we are working in a Godly way at all (SHOOT).  I was brought down with a mighty thump (Bullseye).  No changes have made a visible difference in the eyes of my son. 

I had to remove myself from this thinking and remind myself that it is God's eyes that are my judge.  Perhaps my son is not able to see the changes because it is God's will.  Perhaps there changes will not "affect" him personally for some time.  Long suffering. 

Whatever the case, I could easily allow myself to feel down trodden and useless.  However, that is not what is for me.  I feel the changes inside me.  I feel the glory of God growing and I continue to praise Him for all of the ways he is choosing to mold me into His image.  These are my fruits.

These are my thoughts.