Hi to all! I wanted to first share how much it has meant to have so much support from my blogger friends through this time of sorrow and happiness. The hubby and I first broke down over his mom's condition and her being in her end days. Once the Pastor shared the joyous part of death and my mind began thinking that she is spending Christmas with Jesus, my heart lightened. I shared my thoughts with the hubby and he had the same reaction I did. We both felt elated that she suffers no more and will be spending the season in the most glorious of all places.
We have had some odd reactions to our disposition over the event. People seem amazed that we aren't overly sad and down trodden over her passing. I shared this with a friend of mine who commented that society focuses on the earthly factor of death, while the joyous part is overlooked and looked down upon. Kind of twisted, in my mind.
On to other thoughts. I was over at Jenig's blog this evening and read a wonderful post. She brought to light the idea that we are to live as Christ lived, think as Christ thought, behave as Christ behaved. This accomplished by allowing God to work through you and hone the love traits.
Col 3:12So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
This fit so nicely with the study of the love traits that the hubby and I have been working on with our Pastor. While none of us are perfect, it is only with God's help that we can grow in Christ's image. God, in His infinite wisdom, has made things fairly easy in some aspects. Whatever it is that we are dealing with, parenting, spouse, clerk at the store, schooling, decision making, etc. the love traits all coincide with one another. For example, if you are going to be faced with dealing with a difficult person, following God's perfect outline for acting appropriately will pull you through. This is a fantastic experience. When a conflict occurs you wait (patience). While you are waiting (instead of reacting immediately from emotion) you are fact finding. You finish the conflict by using compassion, gentleness and kindness amongst other things to make your point. That's it.
It is popular to continue to debate issues with people who are in conflict. As soon as your blood begins to boil, that is when you need to call out to the Lord to help you through the process, or using the love traits will not come. Oh, how many times I have let my "pot boil over" without calling out to Him. So weak am I in this area. However, I was speaking about a conversation I had with a family member today. This family member is someone I must have a relationship with, yet I have no respect for and operates from self only. Growing up with this, I was trained to fall to manipulation and the emotional ties that go with that. I have been praying and working with God on tackling this issue. I have felt ever so unsuccessful. Yet, when I spoke of my conversation with this person my Pastor commented that I had handled the situation with grace by using the love traits and that this was the second time in the last few weeks I had done so. When he pointed to my success and growth, I said, "Do you get a point where you can recognize the success, because I sure don't feel like I have made progress."
He made a point to say that each time you use God's process, even a little, you are a step closer to Christ. So hey, even my baby stumble counts! WOW~ Throughout the evening I had been thinking about it. This family member called again. I listened and heard the manipulation. I could see clearly. In short, I had mentioned earlier that she was welcomed to join us for a family outting tomorrow night. She had responded at the time that she needed to check with her husband. When she called later, she said they were available. Then the guilt and manipulation kicked in. The second part of the availability was "if we wanted them there." This was followed by a comment that her husband had suggested that we might not want them to take part in the outting.
As soon as she mentioned "If we wanted them there," I began my little prayer. God answered swiftly. I did not address the guilt driven comments. I simply stated that we would be meeting at this time and if they would like to join us that would be nice. Crisis overted! Just like that. Being in consistent study opens ones eyes WIDE. As Jenig said, it can be easy to be cynical and critical. However, by using Christ as my reference point, I knew that I needed to exercise gentleness, yet stand my ground. I had never known in my upbringing or young adult years that one could be faced with controversy and respond in such a gentle manner, and yet still have gotten the point across.
Perhaps by my growth and life in Christ, my example will be set for others. The article that Jenig equates the process to cultivation, planting, and reaping or CPR! How neato an anacronym is that? My Pastor did the cultivating and planting with me, and now the benefits are being reaped. But its the reaping that is the most unbelievable.
My Pastor reaps the benefit of witnessing my growth as God works through me. I reap the benefit of the same growth. My family reaps the benefits from seeing my growth. Those around me will notice the changes and thus reap the benefits of not only me, but perhaps to inquire about the changes. While they are reaping, I will ahve the opportunity to cultivate. Oh how my silo spilleth over!
Have any of your children ever done something similar to this?
Child wants something (doesn't matter what it is). The something is expensive and it is often taken with you. I am talking big bucks, as in an electric guitar, portable stereo, gameboy, ipod, psp, mp3 player, personal palm, etc. Perhaps you tell your child you will not purchase the item, but he/she has to earn the money. So they work for a year and save up enough benjamins for the purchase. You are proud of your child for working towards a goal and achieving it, and your child is also proud, not to mention EXCITED to get the item.
Said child is taken to the store and he/she purchases said item. You give thim/her a pep talk about how hard work pays off in the end and remind them to take care of the item. Everyone is happy.
Then one day the child looses the item. What do you do? You help the child contact the places where you think the item might have been lost and you put up flyers. Unfortunately, there is no response. The item is gone.
Have you ever experienced this?
Well, let me add a wrinkle. What if that happened to another family and you found the item? Here's what happened to me. Would you believe I found an Ipod one day when we were in the park? The battery was very low and I couldn't figure out how to work the thing. Then the battery died. Not knowing what to do, I finally broke down and purchased a charger to see if the battery might still be workable. Lo and behold it was. When the battery charged my computer then registered the new item as Luke's ipod. Well, I had a name, but no other info. I struggled for a few weeks with trying to work the thing and then just the other day I stumbled upon a contct list with an email labelled Dad. I sent an email stating I had found an item that was labeled Luke's and the email address and was wondering if in fact this was Luke's dad's email and how could i return the item. I didn't mention what I found, incase the info was incorrect or I had the wrong person. The dad, Scott, sent a return email saying that Luke was his son and gave me his telephone number. He also said he would be happy to pick the item up.
Upon receiving the email I called the number and spoke with Scott. I told him who I was and asked if Luke knew what he was missing. Scott then mentions that he lost a lunch box. He paused and then said and an ipod a while back. I replied, "Well, I happen to have Luke's ipod in my hand." He was floored, as you can well imagine. I explained how I got the info. Then he arranged to come pick it up today.
I raced home from church to meet Scott and his son, Luke. No big deal, I thought. I was just about to sit down to do some scrapbooking, when they arrived at the door. When I saw Luke, my heart began to swell. I expected an older teenager, but what I saw was a young boy. When I handed him his ipod, he looked at it almost incredulously. I suppose he couldn't believe that this was really true. Scott handed me some money, which I tried to decline, but he insisted since I had to get a charger to retrieve the information and made the effort to return it. So, I tried to be gracious, and said thank you. I asked Luke about how long he had worked to earn the money and he told me about a year! We shook hands and thanked each other again, and off they went.
I came back in and told the hubby that I felt a little guilty about accepting a reward for the item. When the hubby picked it up, he at first thought it was a $20 (which would have covered the cost of the charger). Then we found that Scott had actually given us $60! Ok, my guilt factor went up immediately, but then I realized that it was a form of gratitude. So the hubby suggested that we donate the extra money in our offering, which I thought was a wonderful idea, since God was the one that placed me as the finder and lead me to the information that allwoed me to return the ipod.
Although, I may never see Luke or Scott again, I couldn't sway my mind from thinking about young Luke's experience. Imagine being a young boy, working a year to buy this cool ipod and then losing it. By the time 4 months rolls around, you are certain you will never see the ipod again. Then your dad receives a call. Isn't it wonderful how God used me as a tool to show Luke a small part of God's principals for living? I pondered the thought that perhaps Luke had prayed about this issue and asked God for help. After 4 months Luke would likely have thought his prayer had gone unanswered. But today, his prayer was answered. In 15 years, Luke will likely not have the ipod anymore, but the newest gadget of that time. He may be married and have a child of his own. He may not remember his game system, what he ate for lunch at school, or what kind of sneakers he wore, but he will always remember the kindness and honesty of a stranger. He will certainly have a great example of how God works in His time, not ours. I am humbled that God would choose me for such an important task.
There are times in our lives when it seems we are over scheduled and chaos abounds. The last few weeks have been like that for me, but this week especially. We were camping last weekend and this week was packed with activities, planning, school, and preparations for our upcoming vacation.
So far this week I have been able to keep calm, not dwelling much on the issues. However, I kept waiting for the knots and pressure to set in. Yesterday was spent in last minute prep for my mom's surprise bday party as well as getting things in line for the next 2 days. Today I have to prepare lunches, get the kids ready for PE and Co-op, entertain my brother (who is coming in for the party), come home and get ready for the party and try to remember all of the things I need to bring. Afterwards I will need to get back here get everyone ready for bed and begin prep for our holiday. Since we are going for a week, the prep is extensive for me. Beyond, clothes and toiletries, I will be cleaning the RV from last weekend, stocking with all our necessities, i.e. food, towels, bedding, school stuff etc. I have a menu to plan and food to pack. I have my house to clean and garbage to get out. Empty the fridge, that type of stuff. Everything must be completely ready before I go to bed on Friday night. OH, and we will also need to spend time out on Friday night with my family as my brother will still be here. Then we pull out Saturday morning at 6 a.m.
While all of this is looming over my head, I have kept my calm. However, this morning I feel a knot in my stomach with the stress of getting everything done without a hitch. Not so much for our holiday plans but for my mom's party. A lot is riding on not letting my mom find out about the party. We have had to keep the kids away from my mom for a month, especially our 4 y.o., because he is consumed by the affair. Every moment is scheduled and we cannot stray from our time frame at all.
So, at the beginning of the week I began a series of prayer for dealing with the scheduled chaos. I prayed for God to help me get everything accomplished and yet still remain calm. So far, so good. Actually, everything seems to be going great! I have readied all the party supplies in boxes, that only need be transported this afternoon. All of our things are ready for P.E. and the Co-op. In addition, I feel ready to move through the day. However, I know that my personal attitude is what will keep thngs this way. I can only do that through the work of God. I have noticed that by praying very specifically and dilligently, God has brought a complete calmness over me, allowing me to work methodically and yet not seem overwhelmed at all that has been on my plate. Thank you God, for always being there. For working me through the small and big hills of life!
I am so ashamed. Head hanging between the legs ashamed. I have often thought of posts to write over the last couple of weeks, but other things got in the way. For one thing, we began school, and that takes up much of my time. For another, I had puter problems which prevented me from being here. I could go on. Please forgive the absence, it is only following God's will in my life that keeps me away.
There has been much going on between God and I. Those ugly these I mentioned a few posts back. Boy He is letting up. There is one thing in particular that I have had trouble with since birth. My parents lead their lives with their emotions and have very low self esteem, and thus I was trained to follow their principles for living. As a growing Christian, I have been working on God's principles to transform myself into Christ's image. There are days when I feel I am still being spoon fed and others when I look at how much He has done with me. But there is this one issue. It's confrontation, specifically with my parents.
I learned very early that my parents opinions and thoughts are THE right ones, and trying to present something different or talk about others views, is simply out of the question. Not only that, but presenting something they disagree with or don't understand, or have no knowledge of, they sling belittling comments to bash you down. SO, I learned to assimilate. I learned to keep my mouth shut, no matter what. Very simple, really. Except, I have never dealt with the issues. God has put his in path again and again. Each time I run faster, away from having to deal with it. Over the weekend a talk with my oldest brought to my attention that I have trained him to deal with my parents in the same way AND that my dad has said so many condescending things, that my son is flat angry and not wanting to be around him at all.
This was a wake up call. I can't run forever, and it's not what God wants. I must take this opportunity to help my son grow through this, but we will be doing it together. You see I have been very paniceked by an upcoming situation. My father has decided to throw my mom a surprise bday party and one of the surprises is that he is having my brother fly in, without her knowledge. I have felt almost suffocated by the thought of having to spend an afternoon with my brother (who is my parents personified) after he flies in but before the party. He will be here at my house, then will be staying through sunday. He will be staying with my parents from that point, but my dad wants us to hang together. My brother doesn't visit very often.
So God has put another opportunity for me to allow Him to work through me, using His principles, to grow me up. Right now I am saying, "I don't want to Lord. I am afraid. I don't want to work on it at all. But I know its a huge problem." This morning I focused my prayers on asking God to handle this situation, by giving me the right words at the right times, and keeping me calm. I have asked that He allows me to not take things personal when the belittling slurs fly. However, I am also asking Him to ready me to confront in His way, when needed. To take my fear away.
I am so scared! In all my life, trials, tribulations, I have never had a hurdle as big as this, or as deep seeded. But here I go.................
As I continue my journey to conforming my life to Christ, I feel inadequate, as many do. I work towards a goal and fall flat on my face. Did you notice that I said "I work". A major component of conformation is allowing God to work through me. His the Puppeteer, I am the puppet, in many ways.
I have been told that I will know I am growing when I can see the fruit or others comment on the fruit. I am struggling with that at the moment. Although I have been praying through some fairly odd and tough issues (for me), I don't feel I have produced any fruit.
One issue in particular is with our oldest. At 15 he has crossed over from wanting our approval to wanting to be an adult. However his thought process, not matured yet, is typical of the teen years. Sometimes he will say something and I will think, "I remember feeling that way." Over the last week or so I have been praying for God to work through me to control my sarcasm. Sarcasm, a way of dealing with life, has infected my son. Not only has he developed this sense of humor, but but his eyes tell a story when I make a sarcastic comment about something pertaining to him.
I have been praying and making every effort to allow God to work through me on this issue. I had just been praising God for helping me curb the sarcasm in all aspects of my life, especially regarding the son. Then on Monday, during our Bible study time (AIM), he said he doesn't think we are working in a Godly way at all (SHOOT). I was brought down with a mighty thump (Bullseye). No changes have made a visible difference in the eyes of my son.
I had to remove myself from this thinking and remind myself that it is God's eyes that are my judge. Perhaps my son is not able to see the changes because it is God's will. Perhaps there changes will not "affect" him personally for some time. Long suffering.
Whatever the case, I could easily allow myself to feel down trodden and useless. However, that is not what is for me. I feel the changes inside me. I feel the glory of God growing and I continue to praise Him for all of the ways he is choosing to mold me into His image. These are my fruits.
Obviously, always, but sometimes we forget or get frustrated waiting for Him to answer our prayers, or maybe we are faced with issues that seemingly cannot wait. Patricia blogged about mother in laws. I have some dealings with this, but not much, and certainly I am not a mother in law yet. However I have a friend who is feeling the fire of this issue.
In short, she and her husband moved across the country to "get away" from their situation. They had 2 controlling moms. Both wanting to control their life decisions. However dealing with one, is particularly rough. There is a materialistic issue and a definite disregard for their personal family authority. This battle is the Lord's. My friend returned this week, with her girls, to care for her mom who is having surgery. In the midst of all the chaos that creates, her mother in law has been playing her control card, discrediting her parental authority, and causing stress. However, my friend kept this in constant prayer, for the battle is the Lord's.
I have anothrr friend who had been struggling with some medical issues with a teen daughter in the midst of a divorce. This past weekend, she had an awful emergency hospital experience when her daughter had a severe adverse reaction to medication. She struggled through each part of this almost unbelievable episode in her life keeping God at the forefront. The battle is the Lord's.
I admire these two friends for remembering that God is the first step in dealing with stress in conflict. It can be hard to remember that our battles all belong to the Lord, if we let them. Isn't it great when we can see the God's growth in others?
I have been working on long suffering for many months. I have prayed, begged, and down right fallen at His feet to help me develop this process. However, I just wasn't getting it.
Recently, I called our Pastor for advice about dealing with certain teen issues. He talked to me about patience and long suffering being 2 different things.
We started a Bible Study that deals with long suffering, and I think God is finally starting to grow me up in this area. Long Suffering is proactive and has 3 parts, Patience is simply inactively waiting.
When one uses the process of long suffering correctly, there are 3 main components:
Stress. I knew I lead a stressful life, but I had no idea just how much stress I was really carrying around or how it affected me when not using God's principals properly.
Wait. This encomasses the time of praying for help and laying the problem at God's feet, all the while observing and gathering facts.
Look for a solution (using kindness). When dones properly, God will show the answer clearly. When the first 2 are sjippe, we tend to force the solution and usually end up kicking ourselves. (I plead the 5th on this.)
God is long suffering with us on a scale that we will never be able to understand. Actually, I can't get a handle on how he handles the stress of me as a His child, let alone any other stress or the process of long suffering. God gave us this process to hone our skills, allow us the opportunity to be more like Him, and to obviously strenghten our relationship. How cool is that?
You have heard the phrase "waiting is the hardest part." This is ever so true. Why do we as humans succumb to impatience so easily and try to force things when we have God to work us through? How many times h ave you been focused on something (reading, cooking, a lesson with a child, reading food labels, etc) and your children are tugging, screaming, or simply finding the most inappropriate way to get your attention, only to react unjustly to them, because of your focus. You have no idea of the situation outside of your focus; your stress level and blodd begins to rise; then SNAP a reaction without waiting and gathering all the facts. Often times, I get the information afterwards and then have my tail between my legs or feel guilty for having reacting before getting the facts and looking for the appropriate solution.
We must all work on allowing God to allow us to grow closer to Him. It is the simple allowing Him time to work through us, that is the crucial piece to this process. Dear God, work through me today. Come in and give me calmness and the ability to wait and seek all the facts before reacting in every situation. Thank you for your faithfulness!
Right now, I have many friends who are going through trials, just as myself. Life, like the roller coaster, has its ups and downs. I have often been asked why God would let good things happen to bad people (most commonly by unbelievers). While I do not know the answer to this question, what I know for sure is that God grows us up through adversity.
God uses the issues placed in our lives as opportunities for us learn and grow closer to Him using His principles. When we take advantage of His guidance and allow Him to work through us we turn out better in the end (even if the result is not what we were looking for). When we put ourselves first, and try to work on the issues ourselves (ok, everyone stop staring at me) we have lost the opportunity for God to grow us up.
God works with each of us in different ways, different levels, and at different times, because He knows us best. In a way, He gives us each an IEP and works with us one on one. This is a great example for us in schooling our children. It is important for us to "give" our children an IEP and deal with them one on one, where they are now. Allowing opportunities for them to grow, and being understanding when they don't grasp those opportunities. If God's job is to homeschool us one on one, then shouldn't we be doing the same with our children?
Keep your kids home. You know them best, you know thier needs, strengths, & weaknesses. Keep them where you can allow God to control their education working through you.
Upon my morning search, I found this wonderful post. I have never heard this story of Satan stealing fires, but boy did it home.
So often in life, we sit silent when wrong occurs. Sometimes it is about small things, like a neighbor who revs his big engine @ 6 am every morning. At other times our silence comes when we struggle with a big corporate company who is unwilling to admit or correct a mistake...and so after much turmoil we give up trying. Today, I would like to place a reminder to not let Satan steal our fries. You have a right to sleep without being awakened by the revving of an engine every morning. You do not need to settle for an inadequate meal at a restaurant. Take the time to stay on the line and be transferred infinitely when trying to rectify an error with a corporate business. If they forget to thank you by name at Sam's Club, call them on it, and get your free dollar.
It is important for Christians to not allow Satan to control everything, even if his presence is everywhere. It is how we handle things that conquer Satan. When we call a company, we need to use God's principals to handle the situation. Pray before you inform your neighbor of his disturbance. Speak to him with kindness. If the clerk at Sam's refuses the dollar and insists they called you by name (this has happened to us several times), contact a manager and inform them of the discrepancy. It isn't about the dollar, it's about walking and talking with the Lord working through us, to squash Satan's efforts.
Take time today to pray that the Lord will be in your heart and your mouth in every situation, in every moment. By example, you will lead.
Hi All! Just a note that I will be taking a little break from my blogs. I have a few personal issues I am working through with God's help. See you soon!
This evening, I came to my computer to get through email and get on with planning my week. I was surprised to find an email from the owners of the farm we lost. The email expalined that they were so sorry about it all, it wasn't personal, but that they were following what the Lord was leading them to do. Next the email stated that she had been keeping an eye out for smaller farms on the market that might match our family! She had one that she wanted to forward to us.
I was speechless, to say the least. I called the hubby in to read the email, in case I had read it wrong. He was warmly surprised as well. Isn't that just the way God works?
God touched us with this family in a way that will most likely never be duplicated. How difficult it must have been for her to email us after so much time has passed and not knowing how we might be feeling about our lost farm. God has a way of using every little piece of our lives to touch and grow us up. This is one of those pieces.
Right now, I am supposed to be at Bible Study. However, on the way there, one of the kids threw up. So, back home we came. I was reviewing my day...packed up everyone and left home @ 8:30 am. Went to gym, had a hassle with membership, only got to exercise 20 min. Then took oldest to meet with Pastor. Afterwards we headed up to take my mother in law out for a bit. First I get hit with a new high gas price. I decide to put in a few gallons to get me through the day, hoping the price might come down. Get there, and she is sleeping. So I wake her up and begin the process of getting her to the bathroom, bathed, and dressed. By that tim eits lunch, so we take her for lunch. Later we take her back and we begin the long trek home. I get off the exit and look at my gas gage...25 miles left and I only have to drive 8, great. We pull in to wait for my hubby, who calls 10 min later to say he has to drive up north with parts immediately. So, I rally the crankies into the van and to get moving to do the last bit of errands we would have done with the hubby. I look up to see I am completely out of gas. We all say a prayer that I make it the 3.5 miles to the station, which I do. This is the same station I was at earlier that had raised their prices while I was there. The price has again been raised, 15 cents just today! Then I can't get any gas. It seemed people had been pumping the unleaded so much to try to fill up before the next gas increase, that there was no more regular. So I HAD to buy the next grade up! Grrrr! I was cranky at this point. A bit later is when my daughter got sick. So we turned around to come home. I get everyone grub, call the hubby to let him know, and check on my sick child. Then I decided to come here to do some blog reading to unwind and decompress from my day.
Oh boy did this ring true for me at the moment. It is so easy to let a chaotic day pull us away from passionately pursuing Christ. Throughout the day, I was grumpy and crankly about everything...driving, gas prices, traffic, the long day, etc. I must say I wasn't a very good disciple through this day. Thankfully, I have this evening to sit down with the children, ask God for forgiveness, and spend tim ein His word.
God thank you for the ability to renew myself at any moment throught a day. Thank you for waiting for me to make you the top priority once a gain. O mericful Father, continue to work through me and mold me into your likeness. Amen!
Not so long ago, I blogged about fruit of the flesh and fruit of the spirit. Upon further studying, God is giving me another insight. All of the flesh are worldy. Being the person that I am, I often think of certain works as good, and forget that they are still wordly...such as volunteering for charities, allowing people to cut n line in front of me at the store, making dinner, etc. Yet, I am looking here in Galatians, and thinking...What is God trying to tell me? I know works are not the ticket to heaven, but my goal is to allow God to transform me into Christ's image. Am I still able to do this if works of the flesh are wordly.
My next thought is that perhaps God was feeling as if he wasn't getting the lesson across to us. Let's face it, we didn't keep to His words as best we could have. So, like any good teacher, decided He needed to give us an example we could relate to, and thus His son Jesus.
Jesus had to follow the commandments as well. I ahve wondered where the line is between jealousy/envy and choosing of the things we have. I am not typing my thoughts well. Let's see...for example, it is covetous to see someone's car and say, "Oh, man I so am wanting a car like that." or seeing a friend with a new car and then thinking how much you wish you could have a new car too. But, if you are in need of a vehicle, you should check each one out...right? And you might look at different models to determine what will meet your needs best, but might also look at personal preferences, such as color, leather or cloth seats, sunroof or DVD player, A/C, standard or automatic. If Jesus lived today and needed a vehicle, what would he choose. Would he have a 5 CD system? Would he specifically not choose a vehicle because it had perks? Perhaps, he wouldn't choose any vehicle, and he would ride public transportation, bike, and walk. Very interesting. Are all choices such as these producing fruit of the flesh? Is the house you live in completely unimportant? Hmmm......
When they saw him, they worshipped him; but some doubted. Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations. Surely I am with you always, the very end of age."
As God would have it, during Bible study tonight, we spoke about some issues related to lifestyle and transformation. I feel much better than I did yesterday, as God pointed out things that He has worked me through. No I am not what He wants me to be, but I am working with Him, and that is crucial.
One passage that really shed some light (no pun intended) on this issue. In my last post on this topic I spoke about my thoughts of lifestyle being outward and transformation being inward. This evening we spoke about fruits of the Spirit and fruits of the soul. There is a parallel here, in that fruits of the Spirit are inward and fruits of the soul are outward. Thus, when we are willing to let the Lord work through us, we gain fruits of the Spirit. The character traits I have spoken of, would be fruits of the Spirit. Fruits of the soul can be as simple as good deeds or works. Many times I have come across people who look great on the outside; are vested in the church, participate in choirs, prepare the altar, children's church, and all sorts of church functions and charities. These are fruits of the soul. However, as I had been feeling, these do not specifically mean fruits of the Spirit. Therefore, a person can be doing all the right things and still not be conforming their life to Christ. Somehow, I knew this and the phrase walking the walk and talking the talk comes to mind, but it really sunk in tonight. I may not be the most involved person in our church, but I am actively seeking the Lord to transform me. Somehow, I am thinking if the Lord were to pick one most important fruit, it would be the Spirit.
Galatians 5:22-23 says "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." I find it very intriguing that all these words can be used in both the noun and verb sense. One can have self control and be self controlled. (This is the trait I have been working on for some time.) While I know God has much more to do with me in this area, I can see how He has already begun to transform me. WOW~
Thinking on yesterday's post, and my down trodden attitude of myself, I can see how "the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit." (Gal 5:17) AMEN! I could feel Satan trying to latch on to my weakness. Only placing this in the Lord's hands could cast away this feeling. My attitude was clearly contrary to the Spirit, yet I was longing to be corrected.
Most important in my walk witht eh Lord is allow Him to change and mold me. Inorder for Him to do this I must continue to submit myself for Him to work through me. There are times I feel stubborn saying, "Lord, I just don't want to!" I am grateful that He is patient with me, and will wait until I am ready. His hand is in it all. I pray that this parenting of His will be parenting that I use as well.
Dear Heavenly Father, you are so mighty. I praise you for your great wisdom and gentle hand. With each step I take, I am awe struck that you are there to hold my hand. Most merciful Father, I put myself at your feet. Forgive me for the attitude I have had over the last week or so. Correct this nature of mine. I long so for your hands to mold me into your image, as only You can do. Be with me Father as I continue on this journey. Praise be to you always for all things! Amen.
Upon reading Michelle Duggars message for mothers on the Duggar family blog, I was brought to tears and blessed so much, I had to post it here for all to benefit from. I know many times, people don't have time to follow links so here is what Michelle wrote to inspire other moms.
Dear Friend,
It was 1:00 AM in the morning as I stood folding laundry with tears streaming down my cheeks. Feelings of being overwhelmed flooded my mind. I cried aloud, LORD I NEED YOUR HELP, I cant do it all! I feel so inadequate! Diapers, dishes, laundry, meals, cleanup, school lessons, baths, hugs, kisses, correction My list seemed to go on and on.
Then it was as if a still small voice said, Michelle, its easy to praise ME when things are going good, but are you willing to praise ME now? Immediately the scripture that says, Offer up a sacrifice of praise, came to mind.
I said, OK Lord, I will praise you even now! It really is a sacrifice! So through the tears I began to sing, The joy of the Lord is my strength. In my heart there was a release as if a burden had been lifted. I finished the laundry at 2 AM and went to bed.
Days later, I was at our piano teachers home (at 7 AM) trying to catch up on paperwork while the children were taking their lessons. Instead, I kept drifting off to sleep! The teacher noticed and asked, Are you OK? I replied, Im fine, Im just tired. I was up late finishing laundry.
As we talked more she said that she actually enjoyed doing laundry and that she would be glad to come and help me! That weekend when she arrived we had mountains of dirty laundry, and when she left we had nice, neat, orderly stacks of clean laundry! For 10 years now, our piano teacher, whom we consider a part of our family and loving call NaNa has faithfully come (now twice a week) to help us with laundry! GOD sent An angel in answer to my cry for help.
He is faithful to hear the humble cries of his children. Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord and He will lift you up. God lifted my burden (literally mountains of laundry!) and freed me to meet the more urgent needs of my family. Now unto Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, unto Him be glory
Remember mothers, where God guides He provides!
With Love,
Michelle Proverbs 3:5-7
Isn't that just wonderful? Don't you just feel blessed knowing you aren't alone? How inspiring to give all of your life over to God? Thank you Michelle for taking the time to inspire and encourage others in Christ.
Recently our Pastor approached the hubb and I to see if we were interested in furthering our walk with the Lord as a couple. I cannot speak for other couples, but for the hubby and I we seem to spend less time worshipping and growing together as our lives become more complex. We have felt a this separate growing for along time, but never seem to find the time to devote to pulling us back together.
I strongly believe that a husband and wife should not only find alone time together, but also a time for study, worship, and prayer. We have let life overtake us in that area. When I miss it, I justify that we are doing the best we can by reminding myself of what we do as a family. Yet, that is not the same.
Our Pastor and his wife came over this afternoon to do a little investigating to see where we should start to put that part of our life back together. We both took a "test" to see how we relate to each other. Both results indicated that we are relating to things differently. As I began to think on this, I realized that it is more than our personalities and gender differences. As our lives have changed (babies, homeschooling, one income, high pressure job, etc.) we have taken our differences and gone each in our own direction, while sacrificing our together time in the Word. Studying together with our children, in our Bible study group and in our church are all wonderful ways we have grown together. Sacrificing our exclusive study time has stunted our joint intimate growth.
It is so easy to continue to sacrifice time together. How many couples make that all important sacrifice of time together only to both feel they haven't had time together in months, or even years; thus the invention of "Date Night." Date Night is a great concept for couples to reconnect on a "couples" level. It is important for children to see parents making time to be associate with each other in this integral way.
Equally important, children need to see their parents growing their relationship in the Lord together. Observing their parents making time to intimately study the Word as a couple provides a unique and wonderful blessing to the children.
The hubby and I are looking forward to our recommitment to study in the Word solely as a couple. God touching and guiding us jointly will be a blessing without measure. I am so exctited about this rekindled journey and our couples "therapy"! When couples enjoy God together, they have their own private marriage counselor. How cool is that?
I went to visit my mother in law today. She is doing wonderfully; all things considered.
Over the weekend we were being pressed to decide whether or not to send her to the hospital for a transfusion due to the fact that her blood count was so low. One nurse told my sister inlaw that her options were to ok the transfusion or let her die. Sensitive, huh? Another nurse later said she is too fragile to handle such an invasive procedure. She was started a on a new medication and that may or may not help. She also said the tranfusion would not specifically giver her any quality of life, more than she has now, and there was no guarantee it would last. She could potentially be in the same situation in a week or so.
We decided to allow time for the medication to work. While the nurses seemed to think she was on "death's door" and we were being forced to make the decision, I commented to my sister in law that God will have His way no matter what. When He calls her home nothing will prevent it.
Today's visit had the nurses singing a different tune. They are amazed at the turn around she has had. While the visits are still difficult, because she often doesn't know what she is saying, we know she is enjoying her time with us, especially the kids. Her birthday is saturday and we asked if we could take her out for a few hours. The day nurse was very accomodating and willing to do whatever was needed to make that happen.
God is working things out according to His will. Oddly, my faith has grown watching this whole process. So many of the residents benefit from our children's visits. Today we were hanging outin the TV room, which has a fish tank, which is a source of amusement for our 2 littles. While they are having fun with the fish, the residents in the room are getting so much joy from watching them. God does work in mysterious ways, does He not?
I wanted to post about Missey Gray, whom is with her Lord now. I did not know her personally, but benefited much from her involvement with homeschooling with Ambleside and Beechick. I was taken aback by the email I received telling me of the situation. I kept thinking to myself, "Is this true? Could this be the same woman?"
As with many online friends, you don't have a fac to put with the name, and when you hear a name, sometimes you think, is that who I think it is? This shocking news really played on my mind. I saw this picture posted on Spunky's blog, and now I have a face.
I haven't had much computer time with my mil situation, but I wanted to make a point to say that Missey will greatly by missed by her loving family, as well as her online friends.
Oh, how my heart breaks for Tom, Nathaniel, Samantha, Susan, Natalie, and Melissa Kate. Find comfort in the Lord my friends. Know that many are lifting you in prayer.
IHSB Company Porch has an excellent page of posts from others like myself about how Missey touched their lives. A fund has been set up for the family, Missey Gray Fund. The Gray family had no life insurance.
Well, I haven't blogged about our goings on in a while. But I have much to report. Some positive, some not so much, but all God's plan.
Last night at Bible Study we were discussing whether or not God experiences any negative emotions. Feelings such as frustration, exasperation, anger, envy, desire, sadness, jealousy were all tossed about as we ripped through scripture. Ironically, I kept wondering to myself internally, how I would react if we lose the farm and is grieving an appropriate reaction.
AS the hubby and I have been talking, our talks have turned more towards what do we do when we lose the deal. We both know we have done everything we can. Only God can sell this house and make everything fall in place if it is His will. While I am still anxious just to get to the finish line and know yay or nay, I seem to be at peace. I was feeling a lot of anguish the day before yesterday and then yesterday morning. I prayed for peace and for Him to just lift this burden from my mind. Unbeknownst to me at the time, a friend had been praying for me personally regarding this situation, while also praying for His will for our family. About mid day I found a moment when I knew I was at peace.
One thing I have mentioned hear many times through this process is that part of the process is for me to learn patience, which will further strengthen my faith, which in turn will grow me up some more, bringin me closer to God. As I have chronicled here in hte past, I haven't been exactly patient. Anxiousness is always on my heels, gnawing at me. Waiting for the fall, so as to devour me. However impatient I have been, I have kept myself praying for God to help me, to remove the anxiety from my heart and mind. In honesty, He has always answered. When the next occurence strikes, I try so hard to deal with it, and end up calling out to Him...again. So I kept feeling like a failure. Then the hubby told me about a discussion he had with our Pastor last night.
He had told me that he was discussing feelings of confusion about how to move forward if we lose the farm. He also brought up that he is very confused and torn about why God would place this dream before us, allow us the opportunity to visit and fall in love with the farm, allow us to over come the hurdles of getting the place under contract, spend all of our savings prepping our home for sale & a recruiter, and listing it, only to pull the rug out from under our feet, so tot speak. Pastor had replied that perhaps part of His plan was to do these things in preparation for something else. If we try to "force" this farm deal to transpire, by severely undercutting our home sale price (we are already priced under market) we might ruin whatever His ultimate plan is for us. I had never thought of another alternative to this farm or this contract.
While I am still struggling with all of the things the hubby mentioned above, I am not without hope. I am praying for God to help me accept His will, whatever it may be. Sometimes, it creeps into my mind that the sellers have said time and again that they accepted our offer because God lead them to believe we were the family for the farm. That puts a whole new spin on things, but also adds another opportunity for me to over analyze what I don't have anyway of getting the facts about. Life isn't always about the facts.
Now, another issue I have been struggling with is the idea of how I am to act if the deal falls through. I want to act appropriately. I want to please God and do what it is that He wants me to do. So, I have been praying for that. We have 9 days left before our contract runs out. If still we haven't had a showing (at that point we will have been on the market for 8 weeks) the sellers will either end the contract or extend with an added contingency that they will be actively seeking a buyer giving us first right of refusal.
That said, I am pushing forward with packing. I beleive in God. God knows that once the contract runs out, we are flat broke. We spent every penny on making this happen. So if the car were to breakdown, it would have to sit unrepaired. If someone needs a cavity filled, it would have to wait. Dr's visits would be a luxury. Buying anything that is not an absolute necessity also a luxury. If we cannot get the books we need for our schooling (we are using CM) from the library or free online, we will have to skip those secctions for now. You get the idea. That all said, our focus will then need to be, what does God want us to do now? Do we keep our home on the market and wait for a contract to look for our new hometown or do we pull out of the market and suck up the financial losses and shrug oh well? While we don't have that answer presently, I will be praying that God will clearly impart His will on the hubby's heart. We have both surrendered our lives and our family to Him and His will. We just need to know what that is.
Another tie in to this, is the email I received from the friend who had been praying. When I read the email, I quickly responded that her prayers had been answered, and that I had gotten the peace. A note of many thanks I added, too!
Am I cured of patience? NOPE. As I sit here writing this entry, my stomach is all butterflies and my mind keeps wandering to the thought that I just want to know the end result of this farm dream. If it isn't to be, I just want to know it. If it is, well I'd like to know that, too. I just want to begin to deal with whatever the answer is. Isn't that where the patience comes in? tee hee! The difference is, that I am now cognisent of the feeling. When it starts to well up, as it is right now, I pray that God take it away from my mind and heart, because I can't handle it alone, and that's ok. There will never be anything I do, think, accomplish, fail, etc without Him. It will never be me, but always be Him. In everything. The glory will always be Him. I am merely a conduit of His works. Lesson learned: I can do nothing without Him.
Now, I must leave to pray these butterflies out of my tummy. =) Although they come less frequently, I wonder if God sighs each time I call His name and says, "I coming, I coming."
Daily scribblings, views, stories, opinions, reviews, inspiration, basic journaling, whatever flies from my heart to my brain to my fingertips. May God guide each and every word. =)
Posted in Gods Work
Blessings Leslie
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