New Beginnings

Two Cooks in the Kitchen !

My 15 year old daughter cooked dinner for us tonight.  She picked a recipe out of my Rachel Ray cookbook.  She made her list and I took her to the grocery store.  We bought all the items she needed and after our evening walk she set out to prepare the meal.  She wanted to do it all on her own, but she wanted me to "hang-out" in the kitchen. 

I've been cooking since I was about 8 years old (being the oldest of 4--it was a necessity at times to help my Mom).  Hard as a tried not to, I kept finding myself giving instruction, reminding her to wash her hands or not to let the raw chicken touch anything or suggesting that she turn the heat down etc, etc.  Each time I said something, she gave me that look that said, "Back off Mom, I'm not an idiot.  I know how to do this!"  And she really does, but for some reason I had to really, really focus on not getting in her way and not trying to take over or at least offer my great advice and help! 

It helped to confirm something about myself that I already knew-- I do the same thing to God! Especially, when it comes to family relationships.  I ALWAYS think that I have to intervene, smooth things over, help one see the others point of view, talk on behalf of my children or try to explain what I think is the "right" way to handle a situation.  I've talked this weakness of mine in previous blogs, but the kitchen incident put a new spin on it! 

Two cooks in the kitchen is always bad news.  One gets in the way and the other gets frustrated.  I am sure God gets frustrated with me at times and says..... "Hey, Brandi!  Get out of the kitchen!  I can handle this one on my own.  I am not an idiot, you know!"   

I try hard to stay out of His way and just trust and believe.  It is that act of daily surrender to Him.  Waiting on Him.  And just letting Him handle the situation.  Yet, Satan whispers in my ear from time to time and tells me--"you better get in there and help out.  Something terrible may happen if you don't."  THen, I have to remind myself that there only needs to be 1 cook in the kitchen!  God can handle it.    This conversation is a regular battle for me but I am working on it! I when I say, "battle", I mean it.  As Christians, we are constantly at war with Satan and his army.  We have to fight for our faith.  WE have to fight to trust and in my case, I have to fight to stay out of the way! 

We are taught from such an early age, the importance of taking "action" and being "proactive".   The importance of independence is drilled in us.  WE think we have to be "in charge" or "in control" to be safe and to take care of ourselves.  In reality, just the opposite is true--at least from a spiritual perspective.   We need God.  We must depend on Him.  We must not try to do things our way.  We have to have a lot less of our ideas and a lot more of His!

God is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of--infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts or hopes.       Ephesians 3:20       

But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.  Micah 7:7

I am discovering more and more each day that if we just wait on God and stay out of His way, things happen!  He doesn't need us "in the kitchen" most of the time, but when He does, we will know it.  God will see to it that we know when it is time for us to do something when we are in tune with Him.  So, hard as it is, we just have to stay out of the way and walk in His will--trusting that He has it all under control.  I am sure the "meal" He is preparing is beyond our wildest imagination!

My prayer:  Dear Jesus, with all good intentions, I get in Your way a lot.  I want everything to be perfect.  I want everyone to be happy and I try to make it happen.  Help me to just stay out of Your way and only act when you want me to act and to speak only when you want me to speak.  My desire is simply that I call on You and watch things happen.  You know what is best. 

Lord, you know that there is a particular relationship that I often try to mend and grow.  I am not qualified to do that.  I cannot change the 2 people involved, but You can.  You are All-Powerful, All-Knowing and All-Loving.  You can do anything that You choose to do.  Thank You for using simple day-to-day activities to remind me of very important spirtual truths --life lessons from You to me!

I don't deserve Your help, but when I wait on You, You never fail to give it to me.   Thank You, Lord, for always being "in the kitchen" with me. Amen 

He Stepped Down from the Cross

I know that I have already blogged once today but God has really laid it on my heart to put this out here.  The other night I had a vision.  I say it was a vision because it was so clear and memorable--an image etched in my mind.  I woke up in the night and this is what I saw....  

I saw myself kneeling at the alter in a church.  I had my face in my hands and I was praying. In my heart and mind, I could clearly see Jesus hanging on the cross right in front of me--like I was right there when it happened. I could see His bloody, beaten body hanging limp twitching in pain.  I could see the look of hurt and pain on His face. 

I felt completely devasted because I knew that part of the reason He was hanging there and suffering so  much was because of me.  I helped to crucify Him.  I knew that He was bearing my sin, Brandi's sin, and that He felt it the same as me.

In the vision, I began to sob.  I was overwhelmed with sorrow and grief.  I felt so unworthy.  I cannot describe the way I felt and how clear the image was.  I was at an alter in a church but I was at the cross. Suddenly, I saw the Spirit of Jesus literally climb out of His almost lifeless body.  He stepped  down from the cross and He knelt right next to me at the alter.  He put His arm around me, leaned in close and whispered in my ear.  He said to me, "It's okay.  You didn't know.  You didn't know." 

And in the vision, I put my arms around Him and buried my head into His chest and cried. 

I'll never forget that.  That is the Jesus that we love and serve.  That is the kind of forgiveness that He offers.  That is how big His heart is!  

I think there is a song in all of that somewhere.  It just hasn't completely come together for me, but I am grateful for the vision.  I hope that it blesses just one other person as much as it blessed me. 

The Ripple Effect

I've just finished reading the book of Joshua.  There is a lot of good stuff in there!  If you have never read it or if its been awhile, I enourage you to read it again and while you are reading look for special messages God has in it just for you!

I've gotten a lot out of it in the last few days.  One message God has sent to me through Joshua's story is that one person, not only, can make a difference--but DOES make a difference. 

I went to church alone again this Sunday.  My daughter woke up with a migraine, my son was purely exhausted from playing football all day on Saturday. (He is on the All-Star Team--Yeah!).  So, I left my husband in bed to be with them..  I have to admit, I seriously thought about just "skipping" church and watching one of the services on TV but I just knew God wanted me to get to my church!  Praise the Lord that I made it!  It was a wonderful service and I was richly blessed by it.

When I got home, I had a lot on my mind.  My house/home is under "attack" right now.  Satan is at work in multiple ways.  I am trying so hard to be who God wants me to be.  EAch day I am attempting to surrender and I pray that any parts of me that I have not totally given over to God that I will be able to identify those and surrender them.  Boy, have I shed a lot of tears lately!  Tears are welling up in my eyes now.  Tears stream down my face through every church service I attend here lately. I am not really sure why!  Just cleansing, I guess.  Trying so hard to be near my Savior.  

When I got home I was feeling a little "pity party" and a little burdened.  AFter I had lunch, I walked down to the pond behind our house to be alone for awhile.  The leaves were beautiful--across the pond is the most gorgeous burgundy-leaved tree.  It stands taller than the others and just looks strong and healthy--confident in its splendor.  The wind was blowing gently--a cool breeze but not too cold.  The sky was that blue that is so blue it is hard to believe it is real.  It was quiet.  I could only hear the frogs and crickets and an ocassional bird.  In the distance you could hear kids playing in their yards.  It was very peaceful.

As I stood and looked out across the pond, a watched a fish jump up and grab a bug for lunch!  He created a ripple that spread gently and slowly all the way across the pond.  The ripple started out strong and gradually it expanded and got a little weaker until it just faded away---but not until it reached WAY out there--almost to the very end of the pond. 

God spoke to me then and He said-- "Brandi, it is the ripple effect".   I immediately remembered several scriptures from Joshua and how the "ripple effect" was a part of it.

God used Rahab, a prostitute, to hide His men so that they could spy on Jericho.  Her belief and obedience had a ripple effect.   She helped Joshua and his men and ultimately they were able to take over Jericho because of the great risk she took in hiding them.  Also, as a result of her helping them and being obedient to God, the Bible says that she and her family were saved.  The bible says her mother, father, brothers and all of her family were brought into her "house" and there lives were spared! 

Isn't it amazing that God chose to use a prostitute to carry out His plan?  Yet her obedience and the fight she put up for her family had far reaching effects!  A ripple effect!  

It is so very easy to get discouraged and tired and weary.  It really is easier just to give up, but that behaviour has a ripple effect too! 

And are you now turning away from the Lord?  If you rebel against the Lord today, tomorrow he will be angry with the whole community of Israel.  Joshua 22:18   

For me that verse jumped out!  It said that if we give up on God or "shrink back" to our old ways, our old reactions or our old worries our "Israel" is impacted!  People are always watching us.  God has a very intricate plan in place. 

That one person you were supposed to encourage may have the opportunity to encourage 10 others, but if you failed to do your piece, then maybe they cannot do theirs and now 11 people are left feeling like all hope is lost. 

That one time you lose your temper or allow things to stress you out when you've been saying, "God will take care of it.  So, I am not worried", can cause a person who is so close to choosing God back away.  Someone is always watching.

One person DOES make a difference.   Because that one person is like the fish in my pond, he or she causes a ripple effect each and every time he/she moves or reacts or doesn't move or react!

Be very careful to keep the commandment and the law that Moses the servant of the Lord gave you...to love the Lord your God, to walk in all of His ways, to obey His commands, to hold fast to Him and to serve Him with all your heart and soul.  Joshua 22:5

God is counting on us.  Our family and friends are counting on us.  Our homes depend on us.  I know it is hard.  We get tired.  I'm exhausted right now! I just want to see one little glimmer that says, it is all going to be okay.  But, faith is about carrying on without the glimmer!  Faith is about just taking it one day at a time.  FAith is about listening to God and obeying HIm, one step at a time because the "ripple effect" depends on it!   

Lord, please let our "ripple effect" be one that God will be pleased with!

Keep the prayers coming for me!

Brandi

I'm Ready for the Walls to Fall !

March around the city once with all the armed men.  Do this for six days.  Have seven priests carry trumpets of rams' horns in front of the ark.  On the seventh day, march around the city seven times with the priests blowing the trumpets.  When you hear them sound a long blast on the trumpets, have all the people give a loud shout then the wall of the city will collapse and the people will go up, every man straight in......

On the seventh day, they got up at daybreak and marched around the city 7 times ....when the trumpets sounded the people shouted .. the wall collapsed; so every man charged straight in and they took the city. ........  So the Lord was with Joshua and his fame spread throughout the land.  (Joshua 6:3-5, 15, 20 and 27)

I am ready for the walls to fall but my 6 days must not be up yet! 

When I read this scripture last night, besides being fascinated with Joshua's story, I realized it has meaning for us today.  In the story, the wall surrounded Jericho.  God promised Joshua that He would deliver Jericho into the hands on Joshua and his men.  To get to the city and declare it for the Lord, the walls had to come down. 

Now, God could have taken down the walls a lot of different ways.  But He gave very specific instructions for Joshua and his army.  For 6 days they were to march around the city/the walls once per day.  On the 7th day, they were to march around it 7 times and then shout.  After doing exactly what God asked them to do, the walls crumbled on that 7th day when the people shouted.  Joshua and his men were able to go into the city and take it over--devoting it to God.

What if Joshua and his men had just skipped the 5th day?  Or what if on day 6, they just walked half way around?  Or what if instead of 7 times on the 7th day, they just did 3 and then gave the shout?  Would the wall fall?  I don't think so.  Maybe they would have had to start all over.  Maybe they would have been killed by the men of Jericho. 

So, what does this all mean to us today? 

I relate this story to things that we are trying to overcome in our lives. Those things are our Jericho.  Collapsing the "walls" and overcoming that "thing" is the ultimate goal--the prize--what we've been praying for--a breakthrough--deliverance.

I believe that God expects us to do certain things to get to our "Jericho" and overcome it.  (to see a breakthrough)  Sometimes it is just so hard.  We want to see breakthrough so badly.  We are tired.  We are afraid.  We are anxious and maybe even a little lazy.    We don't want to march around the city everyday.  We don't want to do it exactly God's way.  Maybe we even give up and have to start all over.  But to see the "walls fall" we've got to do it God's way and in God's time. 

One example I can think of is when we are praying for a particular breakthrough.   We may have to pray multiple times a day for months or even years before God says that we are in the 7th day and can give a victory shout and watch the walls falls.  But we have to keep praying--just as God instructed.   Chances are God has also instructed us to do other things as we work toward our breakthrough--depending on what it is.  Just as He asked Joshua and his men to march a certain way, carrying the ark , with the trumpets etc. 

One thing that we know for sure is that God always keeps His word.  We have to keep circling our Jericho with prayer and any other instruction God has give us until God lets us know that the 7th day is here and gives us the okay to "shout"!  Then suddenly the walls will fall and breakthrough will come!

On that day, we must remember to give God the glory just as Joshua and His men devoted the overtaken city to God.  And we will be richly blessed. 

I'm definitely ready for the walls to fall for some of my Jerichos!  But I guess my 6 days aren't up yet.  

Prayer:  Dear Lord, thank you for giving me Your Word.  Thank You for the story of Joshua and for showing me that it has meaning in my life today.  Forgive me for the times when I don't feel like "marching around the walls of my Jericho".  Forgive me for letting myself get discouraged and fatigued.  Thank You for always bringing me new energy by way of Your word or the encouragement from another.  Help me to always seek Your will first and to obey You.   I wish to surrender every part of my life to your perfect will.  

Sick Cows and Lame Lambs

When you bring blind animals for sacrafice, is that not wrong?  When you sacrafice crippled or diseased animals is that not wrong?  Try offering them to your governor!  Would he be pleased with you? Would he accept you, says the Lord Almighty.  Yet we implore God to be gracious to us.  With such offerings from your hands, will he accept you? --says the Lord.   Malachi 1:8-9

Last night I did one of those things where I ask God to give me the perfect scripture for my quiet time and then I just flip open my Bible and start reading.   I opened my Bible and my eyes were led to the above scripture. 

At first glance, I thought to myself, "this cannot be it.  This is about sacraficing animals. We don't do that anymore.  I need a scripture that applies to me."   It didn't take more than a second or 2 for God to give me a nudge that said--"Read it again".   So, I did.

Then, I wanted to hang my head in shame.  True, we don't sacrafice animals to God anymore.  Jesus was the ultimate and final sacrafice of that nature.  He paid that price and we don't have to make those type of sacrafices to gain God's favor. 

However, this scripture is talking about much more than animals and it definitely does apply to us today!  God's Word does tell us that our own body's are "living sacrafices".  It also refers to praise and worship as a "sacrafice".  We are expected to give our best to God at all times and unfortunately, we just don't do that.

For months, I have been trying to make myself get up at 6:00-6:15am to have a morning quiet time.  I know that it would make me have a better day and I believe God expects me to start each day spending time with Him.   Well, I always manage to either hit the snooze button a dozen times or if I do wake up, I lie in bed and pray--rather than get up, read my bible and spend time in prayer.  So, I've been a little proud of myself in that I'm half way there.  Besides, I do my quiet time each evening before I go to bed.

But, after reading this scripture I realized that by doing that, I have been offering God a "lame lamb"--less than the best I have to give.  We are only talking about 30 minutes here!  Sure, I go to bed very late but doesn't God deserve at least as long as a TV sitcom!  Am I really going to be hurt by 30 minutes less sleep?  But I am always so tired!  Don't I know that by spending time wiith God each morning that I'll feel rejuvenated--much more so than that extra 30 minutes of half-way sleep !  Lame Lamb Syndrome!  I need to get over it, get up and spend time with Jesus in the early AM!

If that revelation wasn't disturbing enough, I thought about that whole "my body is a living sacrafice" thing.  I am a stress-eater!  And lately I have been VERY stressed.  So, I've gained a good bit of weight.  In addition to eating too much, I'm not eating the right things.   I'm going for all of those "comfort foods" --usually found in a vending machine with the word "chocolate" or "chips" in it!  And sodas!  I went nearly a year without even one swallow of soda then all of a sudden stress kicks in and Pepsi just seems to hit the spot and give me the energy boost I need from the lack of sleep due to stress!  A vicious cycle!  Not only is this like sacraficing a "sick cow" to God, I am going to be a sick cow if I don't get control!   

I laugh now as I am typing this.  I love that God can "scold" with a sense of humor and with self-revelation through His Word. 

THe fact is that we don't always give God our very best.  We try really hard but we need to try even harder.  We don't want our Saviour who loves us so much to get our sick cows and lame lambs!  He deserves so, so much more. 

Dear Lord,

Forgive me for not always giving you my best.  Forgive me for letting wordly stress get in the way of giving you my best. Thank You for ALWAYS giving me Your best.  Thank you for making a sacrafice that not one of us can comprehend.  Without You, we are hopeless and helpless.  Without You life is just too hard.  Thank you for never turning your back on us even when we give you "sick cows" and "lame lambs".   Help me personally as I work on adding a morning quiet time and getting back to my healthy eating habits---not for me, but for You.  I cannot do it without You.   

Freedom in the Law

When I think about "laws", I think about things that are forbidden, restrictions, things you cannot do.  You cannot drive over 65 mph on the Interstate.  You cannot drive on the wrong side of the road.  You cannot use a phrase or slogan that has been copyrighted.  You cannot take something from a store without paying for it.  The list could go on and on telling you all the things you cannot do. 

God's laws are different.  

Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom.  James 2:12 

"The law that gives freedom" --- those are words that don't even seem like they would go together.  We never think of laws as giving us freedom.  

So, what are God's laws?

I believe God's laws goes far beyond the 10 Commandments.  God's laws are everything that He speaks to us about in His Word.  Let's test the verse in James above--does the below law give freedom? 

Do not worry about your life......(Matthew 6:25)

Do not be anxious about anything....(Phillipians 4:6)

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all of your mind and with all of your strength.....(Mark 12:30)

Pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests....(Ephesian 6:18)

Dwell in the shelter of the Most High and rest in the Shadow of the Almightly...(Psalm 91:1)

Don't be afraid, just believe.  (Mark 5:36)

God's list of laws could go on and on...... but as you see, His laws are there to set us free.  If we obey Him, we will have a freedom of spirit, mind and soul that we can hardly imagine.  In fact He tells us what happens if we obey His laws: 

"Let your heart keep my commands, for lengthy of days and long life and PEACE they will add to you." (Proverbs 3:1-2)

"Those who seek the Lord shall not lack any good thing. (Psalm 34:10)

Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in His ways.  You will eat the fruit of your labor, blessings and prosperity will by yours! (Psalm 128:1) 

The truth is when we don't obey "God's Laws" we put ourselves in bondage.  We hold ourselves back and we limit what God does in our lives.  His Laws truly do give us freedom!

Isn't it amazing that we have a God that loves us so much?  To Him be all praise and all glory! 

The Bottle on the Top Shelf

Like most people, I do keep some medicine in my cabinet in case I need it.   I  use Ibuprofen and I have some homeopathic remedies available too.  I don't pull out a bottle of medicine everyday.  I don't think about it everyday.  I don't even remember it is there unless someone in the house gets sick--a headache, a fever, a sore throat or major aches and pains.  When one of those things happen, I pull out the appropriate bottle.  I know it is there when I need it. 

For a long time, I treated Jesus the same way.  I was a Christian and I knew and loved Jesus but I kept Him in a bottle up on the top shelf.  I went about my daily life, doing things my way.  I had Chrisitan morals and beliefs.  I was what most would describe as a "good person".   I said my prayers at night.  I loved my family and took care of my children.  And I kept Jesus safe and secure in that bottle on the top shelf.

Ocassionally, when someone would get sick or a tragedy ocurred or maybe when I was especially moved in a church service, I would take down the bottle and call on Jesus.  And there He would be!  During that time of need or inspiration, I'd think about Him, pray to Him more often, thank Him often and count on Him to help with whatever the situation might be.

 Then, as time passed and my situation changed, I'd put Jesus back in that bottle on the top-shelf.  I'd place Him in a place safe and secure so He'd be there if I needed Him again.  I'd go back to just living my life, going along with all my day-to-day activities, busy with raising kids and working being a "good person" doing what I believed to be all the right things. 

While we don't do it consciously, I am sure I am not the only Christian who has had a period of time when his/her walk with Jesus was like what I described.  In fact, I am sure there are lots of Christians keeping Jesus in a bottle on the top shelf keeping Him safe in case they need Him.   

In case we need him-- isn't that the most ridiculous thought!  We desparately need Him.  We are NOTHING without Him.  We aren't "good people".  We aren't good parents.  We aren't good spouses.  We aren't even really happy unless we intentionally have Jesus as a part of our life every single day!   We cannot keep Him in a bottle on the top shelf and know true joy or peace.  We might know some degree of joy and peace because do have Him in our heart, but we are missing out on a lot when we don't have Him as a part of everything that we do every day.  

Having Jesus be a part of everything that we do takes some effort on our part.  Oh, He never leaves us but the degree to which we feel His presence is mostly up to us.  He is where He is asked to be and to the degree that He is asked to be there.  We have to want to include Him.  WE have to remember to include Him.   We have to LOOK for Him in all of the details, all of the events, all of the conversations and all of the quiet times.  When you look for Him, you will find Him.   We must also praise Him and take time just to love Him for being Him and not because we need something.  He seeks our love and companionship and no matter how hard we try, He will always be the One who gives more to the relationship.

Jesus doesn't want to be kept in the bottle on the top shelf.  He wants to be right beside us, hand-in-hand every moment of every day.  Just as we get up and put on our clothes, we should get up and take the hand of Jesus first thing without hesitation, like our life depends on it.  

I am not saying that is always easy.  Life gets in the way.  Satan loves to distract us with one thing or another--busyness, tiredness, sickness, worry, even extremely good times can be a distraction.  We just have to try our best and purposely include Him.  If life sneaks up on you, and you suddenly look up and realize that you've got Jesus back in that bottle on the top shelf, don't get discouraged.  Instead, just ask for His forgiveness and take His Hand.  He'll already have it reaching out to you. 

My Prayer:  Jesus, forgive me for keeping you in that bottle on the top-shelf too often and for too long.  Thank you that you help me to see You in the tiniest details of my life when I purposely trying to walk with You and include you in everything I do.  Thank You for being there.  Thank You for loving me.  Thank You for forgiving me each time I forget to include You.  Thank You for all that You are and for who You are helping me to become.  

The Eyes of our Heart

Have you noticed that each and every person lives in their own unique reality?  We all "see" things a different way.  For example, the same painting brings about different emotions and different opinions depending on how the person "sees" it.  Same painting, just different eyes looking at it.

We also all see things from 2 different sets of eyes.  The eyes on our head  and the eyes of our heart.   Very often those 2 sets of eyes don't  have the same reality.  Take a newborn baby for example.  To the eyes of our heart, that baby is the most beautiful and amazing thing we have ever seen!  We can hardly hold back our tears of joy.  It is overwhelming! 

Yet, if we really looked at that very same baby with only the eyes on our head, we'd see something very different!  We'd see a red and wrinkly creature with a head that isn't shaped just right that makes a lot of noise!  With just our mind's eyes, we might ask the doctor to put in back in because it isn't done yet!  

Thankfully, we see newborns the right way--with the eyes of our hearts! We see a beautiful creation of God's handiwork, a miracle!  The most beautiful and amazing thing ever!

If we can see newborn babies with our heart's eyes, why do we struggle so hard to see Jesus and His works with those same eyes of our heart?  Instead, we let our mind's eyes take over and we view things too "logically"  and too "wordly". 

Strangely, viewing the work of Jesus through our mind's eyes, can be stressful because those works are sometimes invisible to the mind's eyes.  Watching for answered prayers through the eyes on your head can be misleading.  You may not see the answers at all.  True faith and blessing comes from viewing things from the heart's eyes--despite what the eyes on our head see and the ears on our head hear. 

If you look for Jesus through the eyes of your heart, you will see HIm everywhere. 

You will see that He does answer prayers. 

You will see His involvement multiples times throughout each and every day.

 You will see Him in minor details and events that you didn't even know He cared about.

The more you see Him, the more you will look for Him. 

The more you look for Him, the more you'll see Him. 

Open the eyes of your heart and close the eyes of your mind.  You'll see so much more clearly!

I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope of which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints and His uncomparably great power for us who believe!  Ephesians 1: 18-19

 Prayer:  Lord, forgive me for too often looking at things through my mind's eyes.  Help me to open the eyes of my heart wide and see things Your way.  Help me to see the "hope" for which You have called me.  Thank you for giving us eyes in our heart to see beautiful things that we could never see with only the eyes on our heads.  Thank you for Your love, Your power and Your compassion.  Thank You for being a part of our everyday lives.   Amen.

God Smiles

Have you ever noticed someone's face light up when you greet them with a smile?  Has someone ever made you feel better just because they smiled and seemed genuinely glad to see you? Smiles mean a lot! 

God smiled at me at lot the last couple of days.  I am sure He smiles at me every day.  I just don't take the time to notice.  But yesterday, I noticed and it made my face light up each time. 

 Just how did God smile at me?

** I woke up and checked my emails only to find an email from my cousin asking me if I'd like to put some of my "writings" in her magazine! I couldn't type YES fast enough!

** One of my Homeschool Blogger friends--dixiefiddler posted a song I wrote on her blog.  Wow!  That was really special!

** On my drive into work, I passed by a Mother and her son waiting on the school bus.  She was holding his face in her hands talking to him and he had the biggest grin on this face!  Precious!  It made me grin too.  That is when it hit me!  God is really smiling at me today!  I haven't been able to get it off of my mind ever since.

** At the stop light, my favorite song came on the radio--Chris Tomlin's version of Amazing Grace!  An awesome praise song to help me connect with God before I go into work. 

** At work, I got the opportunity to encourage someone in her faith that was having a tough day.  God is doing great things in her family and the devil just wants to get in the way.  That conversation was more important and meaningful to me than all of the work that I get paid to do.

** My sister called me at work.  I always feel spiritually uplifted when I talk to her.   She told me about a new connection with our friend "Nate" from my blog Whisper in the Rain.  Totally a God thing! This new connection has very special meaning to me because it is something that my daughter will benefit from and I believe God knew that all along.  

** Me, my daughter and my Mom went for a walk in the neighborhood.  The sunset was beautiful.  On the way back home, we saw the moon.  It was beautiful too!  

** My teenage daughter came into my room later on and asked me to brush her hair!  She sat with me for a long time and we just talked and watched TV.  Now that has to be a smile from God! 

** I was able to read my Bible when I was ready for bed because I live in a free country, in a safe home.  I could close my eyes to pray and drift off to sleep without worrying about bombs or terroist attacks. 

When you take the time to look, it is amazing how many times you will see a smile from God.  It is relatively easy to "say" that He is in the details and He is always with us.  But to REALLY feel it and see it, you have to pay attention and you must choose to see Him.  

He has caused His wonders to be remembered; the Lord is gracious and compassionate.  (Psalm 111:4)       

The Lord is with you while you are with Him.  If you seek Him, He will be found by you......(2 Chronicles 15:2)

The Lord looks down from heaven upon the children of men, to see if there are any who understand, who seek God.  (Psalm 14:2) 

My Prayer:  Lord, thank you for smiling at me in so many ways.  Forgive me for those times that I don't smile back or for not even noticing your smile at all.  Help me to pay attention and seek You every moment of every day. THank you that I don't have to wonder if I will find You.  I know that I will find You because You never leave my side.  

Beauty in the Strangest Things

We just got back from my father-in-laws house where we spent the day.  He has lots of land out in the country down in south Georgia.  He has a cabin out in the woods behind his house where all the hunters start to gather this time of year.  It is in a quiet, laid back little town.

My daughter and I went for a walk and took our digital camera.  She is taking a photography class on-line with her homeschool program.  We set out walking through the trails down into the woods hoping for some good nature shots. 

My daughter took lots of pictures.  As we walked and searched out great shots, I was amused at what we found and described as "pretty".  Just a few examples:  an old piece of rusty farm equipment with flowers growing up around it, an old tattered barn under the huge pecan trees, a broken down fence covered in vines with a few little flowers here and there, a huge spider web, a fallen tree log laying in the grass, a baby pine tree, one gold leave in the midst of the brown pine straw, a field of tiny, yellow flowers that most people would call weeds, some wild berries and a pond with a dock that was rotten and half-missing. My daughter has an artist's eye and she beautifully captured these things in photographs.

Funny how if you were to just describe these things to anyone--as I just did to you now, they don't sound very beautiful at all.  But somehow God's beautifully created and natural environment surrounded these things and made them beautiful in that setting.  My daughter added to the beauty by capturing it on film at just the perfect distance and the perfect angle.

Jesus does the same for us.  None of us are very wonderful or very beautiful compared to Him.   Yet somehow, when surrounded by Him and when abiding in Him and when He is abiding in us, we are beautiful!  We are His to delight in!  He overlooks the rust, the weeds, the rot, the wear and tear.  He captures us at the perfect angle.  He sees the beauty in hearts, our minds, our souls and our physical appearances.  He knows that all the rust, weeds, rot, missing pieces and the wear and tear made us who we are--His prized possessions.  His precious children.  We truly are beautiful to Him.  He longs for our friendship, love and devotion.

He has made everything beautiful in its time.  He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.  Ecclesiastes 3:11  

Prayer:  Jesus, if we can find beauty in such strange things, I cannot even begin to imagine how beautiful heaven must be! Thank you for loving us despite our rust and weeds.  Thank you for believing we are beautiful and allowing us to see the beauty in things that surround us.  Thank you for preparing a place for us in heaven and for giving us just a taste of heaven occasionally here on Earth. 

Not Qualified

Often I write about the things God is doing in my life or when a particular verse has really spoken to me.  Today, I don't feel "qualifed" to write at all.

I'll whine for a moment.  I've had a couple of bad days.  Some of my old worry habits have kicked it.  I've been very stressed at work.  I've let myself start to feel sad and overwhelmed.  When that happens, I lose my focus.  I start getting confused and playing things over and over in my head.  I try too hard.  I just plain feel bad--like I want to crawl in the bed, pull the blanket over my head, and cry myself to sleep.  

Not how I want to be.  Definitely not how God wants me to be! I am sure He is right here beside me saying,  "Brandi, what are you so worried about?  I'm right here.  Seriously, I've got it.  No need for you to worry." 

I am sure He is hurt and disappointed.  I am disappointed in myself.  I let my eyes drift from Him and onto the world and my surroundings.  I didn't mean to.  I didn't even consciously realize that I was doing it until I got that overwhelmed feeling.  

The ironic thing is... He never once took His eyes off of me or the people I worry about or the job I stress about.   He doesn't "go away" when I get distracted and look the other way. 

When I was a small child, my Mom said that I would close my eyes and cover them with my hands and say..."now, you can't see me!"   I guess in a sense, that is how it feels when I am not looking at God.  I figure He cannot see me either and so I feel overwhelmed and alone. 

Thankfully, that is not the case.  He is right there beside me (and you) saying, "Here I am, take my hand.  You accidentally let it go."

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty..... Psalm 91:1 

He tends His flock like a shepherd.  He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart.  Isaiah 40:11

Prayer:  Lord, please forgive me for falling back into my worrying, stressing, fretting way.  Forgive me for not being able to quickly let it go and release it all to You.  Help me to refocus my eyes on You.  Help me to never forget that You have "it" all in Your hands and You are holding mine at the same time.  Please bring me Your Peace that surpasses even my own understanding.  Thank you for the work you are doing in me and my family.  Thank you for all of the special people in my life--family, old friends, new friends and faraway friends.  May our lights always shine for you. 

Star Light, Star Bright

Many people spend their whole lives trying to "fit in", to be like everyone else. Teens and preteens work hard to dress like everyone else, talk like everyone else and go to the same places as everyone else.  They desire to be noticed but not to stand out too much. 

Adults do the same type things... They want to drive the same kind of cars as everyone else, live in the same neighborhoods as everyone else and have the same hobbies as everyone else.  Much like teens, adults want to be noticed, but they want to fit in--not stand out too much, but just enough.

As Christians, we aren't meant to think that way. 

Phillipians 2:15

So that you may become blameless and pure children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life.   

The Lord is telling us that He wants us to be different! He wants us to shine like stars!  Now, that doesn't mean we should try to be different just for the sake of being different or that we have to be weird and not accepted.  It means that we should allow Jesus to shine through us so that when people meet us or get to know us they realize something is different.  We want them to be so intrigued that they seek out that difference and come to know the difference is our relationship with Jesus Christ. 

If you look at the sky on a clear night, the beauty of the stars is amazing.  God took great care in placing each one in just the right spot to make it look beautiful.  The Bible tells us that He put the stars in the sky and He knows them by name!  Not only did He put the actual stars in the sky, He also put each of us here on this earth and He knows us by name too! We are His most precious "stars".

I am sure you have noticed that some stars shine brighter than others. When you find one glowing brightly, it is hard to take your eyes off of it.  I always think of the North Star when I see one like that.  Truthfully, Jesus was the brightest Star that God ever created.  No one can ever shine as brightly as He did while here on earth.  Certainly our light pales in comparison but if it were not for Jesus, we would not have any light at all.  YOu can imagine the picture though--- One Star shining so brightly it overwhelms and that Star is surrounded by millions of other smaller, dimmer stars.  Wouldn't the picture be even more beautiful if all of those smaller stars could shine just a little brighter and stand out just a little more?

That picture, of course, is of us.  The closer we get to Jesus by reading the Bible, praying all throughout the day, listening to Him and following His will--the brighter our light shines, the more "different" we become in comparison to others.  When that happens, suddenly you see more stars appear as others come to know Jesus through us--even if it is years later.  God purposely brings people into our lives--from the elderly lady you smiled at and held the door for this morning, to the best friend you've had since grade school.  None of it is by accident--remember, He put the stars in the sky and He knows them by name.  He placed everyone with precision and care.  Sadly many, many stars aren't even faintly lit yet.  But those stars are near another that does have light!  The stars with light must reach out to those that don't to make our picture perfect. 

My prayer is that each of us will have the courage to shine brightly for Jesus.  I pray that we will dare to be different in a way that causes non-Christians to ponder just why.  I pray that we will listen closely to the still, small voice of God when He needs us to help give light to a unlit star or to re-energize the light of a fading star.  I pray that we will surround ourselves with the light of that Ever-shining, Ever-brightest Star and draw light and courage from Him.  I pray that I will worthy of HIs presence....... Star light, star bright, may I be a worthy star tonight-- and all of the days of my life. 

Special prayer request:  Please pray for Tyler, a friend of my son's.  Tyler is just 12 years old.  His Mother died when he was in 3rd grade.  Just this past week, he lost his Dad too.  Tyler and his Dad were playing ball in the yard when his Dad collapsed and died of a heart attack.  His Dad was a fireman and a good father.  Naturally, Tyler is devasted but so are all of his 12 year old friends.  I am sure it brings the reality that they, too, could lose a parent.  I am praying for peace and strength that surpasses all human understanding for Tyler, his family and his friends.  Please pray with me that the light of this young stars will not fade away but rather will grow a little brighter from this terrible experience.      

A Story and A Song

I want to share the story about how I came to get the nerve to do this: 

A few days ago I was driving in to work listening to K-LOVE on the radio like always.  I was praying and asking God about my next step--what did He want me to do--what was His will for me right now, how could I use my writing etc.  Suddenly the thought came to me, you could write songs.  I perked up immediately.  I love contemporary Christian music and the idea really appealed to me.  I went on to work but the thought stayed in the back of my mind.  I started thinking about which of my blogs might could be an inspiration for a song and wondering if I could really do that.

I got a call from my sister.  She was busy and so was I so I don't recall all of the details but she was telling about a dream she had about me.  In the dream, I was helping her husband to lead worship music.  I thought it odd that it had to do with me and singing so I told her about my thoughts about writing a song.   Between that and a couple of other things that had happened, we both sort of got chill bumps.

That evening (night before last), I woke up in the middle of the night with this potential song lyric on my mind.  It was just there when I woke up.  I didn't consciously think about it.  It was just there.   So, I wrote it down on the notepad I keep on my nightstand. 

Yesterday morning when I woke up, I remembered writing down the lyric but I couldn't remember what it was.  I had to look at what I wrote down.  It was so weird!  All day yesterday, I kept thinking about that lyric.  I just couldn't get it off of my mind. 

So, last night, I sat down and wrote at least the beginning stages of a song called "Run Free".  It incorporates the lyric that came to me as the chorus.  The song is about how we become a prisoner to our thoughts, but that Jesus died on the cross to set us free.  It was inspired by the book I am reading by Beth Moore called Breaking Free.

This morning I was out on the Internet praying about what I should blog about today and I searched the site for a local band that I had learned about through my sister (the same one with the dream) about a month ago.  I got the nerve to email them.  I told them the story and asked if they would pray about it and consider looking at the words I wrote for a song.

I don't know what will happen.  If it is God's Will, He will work out the details.  If it is not God's Will and just something I dreamed up, the doors will close but something will happen in its place.  Either way, I am convinced those words came from God.

It is finally time!

It is finally time.  Time for my daughter to "officially" start her on-line homeschooling.  Her first day is on tomorrow.  We are using Jubilee Academy.  She is taking 6 classes and she is sooooo excited!  I am too.  Never in my life have a felt so at peace about something--which oddly enough scares me a little bit.  I don't want to be blindsided or naive.  Somehow I just know it is right.  

I wish I could say that is true of my husband, but it is not.  He is very nervous and not so thrilled.  That puts a lot of pressure on both Kaitlyn and me.  We feel like we have to prove to him that everything is going to be okay.   He is what you may call "in the box".  He is all about "supposed to's"..... you are supposed to get up, eat breakfast, get dressed and go to a "real" school.  You are supposed to go to a real doctor with the letters MD behind his name.  You are supposed to....... his list could go on and on! 

He is a wonderful father and husband and I know that his concerns are genuinely for her best interest.  He just cannot see the forest for the trees right now.  I believe God has been wanting me to homeschool Kaitlyn for a long time.  Kaitlyn has wanted it since 3rd grade!  I had no idea how unhappy school made her until a terrible thing almost happened.  Yet, God has blessed us with this opportunity.

She has turned the guest room into a "school room".  She has put up posters and set up a table for her computer.  She has a pet parakeet that she bought with babysitting money.  And she has a science experient going on with "tripods"--these funny little fish like creatures that have been around since prehistoric times.  She has books, her bible, her easel and art supplies and other little odds and ends in her school/art room.  I think its great!  Dad had a little trouble with her taking over the guest room too!  You aren't "supposed to" have 2 room and you aren't "supposed to" put posters on the wall where guests may sleep!  : )

I guess this wasn't my normal Blog but it still holds true to what God is doing in my life.  God is really the one homeschooling Kaitlyn and doing a "work" in her that is growing her self-esteem, self-worth, sense of purpose , her life's direction and her love for life!  She has even already picked her college--Covenent College in Lookout Mountain GA.  It is a Christian College with an ART major--which is what she wants.  She has always fretted that all of her friends had picked their colleges and she didn't even have a clue what she wanted to do.   School put way too much pressure on them about that! 

We stumbled upon Covenent College while looking at a site that gave examples of how to make a transcript!  It happened to be on the Covenent College site and we just started looking.  She feel in love with it and just decided it was a "God thing".   She has decided she would like to have the whole "college experience" and major in art.  She wants to be in business for herself doing advertising art for local family owned businesses in addition to her landscape art that she loves to paint!

Please join me in my prayer: 

Jesus, thank you for giving us the opportunity to homeschool Kaitlyn.  Thank for allowing us to find Jubilee Academy and for allowing her Dad to agree to homeschooling and the school room--even though he probably couldn't believe that he did it!  He just doesn't know you are working on him too!  Help me to be patient and trusting of You and Your works.  Keep Kaitlyn motivated and happy and totally focused on You and Your will for her life.  Please continue to work on me and help me determine Your will for my own life. 

Before...

Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you.  Before you were born, I set you apart, says the Lord.  Jeremiah 1:5

I was at the mall this weekend.  While my daughter was shopping, my son and I were "people-watching".  We were noticing just how different everyone is..... different walks, different shapes, different mannerisms.   Certainly, if we could have talked to everyone we would have discovered vast differences of opinion, different skill sets, different talents, different likes and dislikes. 

Have you ever wondered what makes people so different?  Often we are told it is because of our surroundings and how we were raised.  Certainly that plays a part, but the scripture tells us the real reason we each are so different.  God planned it that way! 

Notice the words, "before I formed you, I knew you".  THe bible tells us that God "planned" us!  We weren't accidents or just the result of biology.  God planned every detail of us before He ever put us in the womb.  That is mind-boggling!  He knew us.  That means He knew what we would be like.  He already knew our personality and path in life.  We are a part of HIm.   

THen, He further says..."before you were born, I set you apart".  To me that means that He gave us something unique that no other person every born or to be born has--something that sets us apart. He gave us a unique set of likes, dislikes, talents, skills and gifts.  No two people have exactly the same combination.  That special and unique combination is the perfect match for the plan He has for us.  It won't work for someone else's plan.  It won't work for our own self-centered plans.  We will never be happy (truly happy) until we are following the plan God thought of before He made us.  How could we be when we were designed with such detail, thought and purpose. What amazing love God has for us to create us each completely unique and special with a specific purpose in mind.  

Just think about the reality of that.  Often we don't feel special.  Sometimes we feel sorry for ourselves.  We may even think that we could do so much more good for the Lord if we just had better talents.  I imagine that when we start to have those thoughts, the Lord is saddened.  We are, afterall, insulting His great work when we fret about the talents we don't have.  Besides, we don't need those talents.  If we did, God would have given them to us! 

So, what do we do?  How do we know the plan that He has for us? Where do we start? 

We make it our goal to please HIm, whether we are at home in the body or away from it.  2 Corinthians 5: 9  

I wish I could say that I have all the answers.  I don't, but I do know where to start.  We start by loving Him with all of our heart, mind and soul.   We start by trying to please Him in ALL that we do.  We start by reading His Word often and searching for new meaning each time that we do.  We start by praying often and praising HIm in all situations--even when it is hard.  We start by keeping Him in our focus no matter where we are or what we are doing.

I know that God has a special plan for me.  I don't quite know what it is just yet.  That makes me a little crazy at times, but I am trying hard to be patient and peaceful as He unfolds it in His time and in His way.  In the meantime, I am trying to search for His involvement in the everyday details of my life.  When you look for Him, you find Him.  I am amazed by His love and goodness -even when I don't deserve it.  Look for Him.  Give Him credit for all the wonderful things in your life from a fun evening with your family to escaping a near auto accident.  Look for HIm in the not so great things--often there is a lesson for us hidden in all the drama and details.  He never leaves us.  He never turns His back.  He never sleeps.  He keeps watch over His children--the very children that He created with love and precision thought long before they were born.

Prayer:  Lord, it is nearly impossible for us to comprehend the love You have for us.  It almost beyond comprehension to think that you really thought of us and knew us and planned us before we were born.  To think that we mean that much to You is mind-boggling.  It is no wonder that we can be overwhelmed and humbled in Your presence.  Thank you.  Thank you for creating us.  Thank you for creating the perfect family and friends for each of us.  That you for creating those special people that walk in and out of our lives.  Thank you for sending Your Son to die for us--a sacrafice that we cannot begin to understand.  Help us to constantly seek Your will and to carry out the plans for which you created us.  Amen.    

Dreams, Peace and Joy

You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.  Isaiah 55:12

Our pastor is preaching a series on "Daring to Dream Again".  As the name implies, the focus is on letting go of all the things that hold you back and daring to dream again--like a little child does before he knows the words, "you can't". 

The obvious question raised is...what is your dream?  What is it that you really dream for?  And not things like a bigger house and a better car, but your true life-changing dream.  Your spiritual dream.  

We are on our 3rd week in the series and I am still not 100% sure that I know my complete dream!  We are to start with what we love and are passionate about.  I love to write and be with my family.  I would love to have more freedom with time and money.  I'd like to be able to do more "just for fun things" with my family.  I feel as though I am supposed to work with pre-teen girls.  I want to be a person that has true peace and joy in all circumstances.  I want to be self-employed working from home so that I can be with my daughter as she homeschools.

The really awesome thing is that God's dreams for us are far bigger than what we dream for ourselves.  He doesn't see limits like we do for He has none.   With Him by our side, we don't have many of the limits that we think we have.   The world has taught us to be fearful, doubtful and hopeless.

That is why I love the scripture in Isaiah that I quoted above.  The Lord tells us to go out in peace and joy led my Him!  No doubts, no fears. 

Regardless of what our dreams are, He is there ready to lead us out in peace and joy toward those dreams.  We must never let the "dream killers' tell us that we can't or shouldn't.  We must never let the dream killers tell us that we aren't good enough or that it just won't work.  We must look into the eyes of our Lord Jesus Christ and see that anything we dream is possible with HIm.

Not Disappointed

I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of My hands.  Those who hope in Me will not be disappointed.  Isaiah 49:15-16 and 23.

What beautiful scriptures!  How could Jesus forget us?  He has the scars on His hands and feet from our very sins--a constant reminder that He died so we might live.  What amazing love that is! And as the scripture says, if we trust Him and put our hope in Him, we will never be disappointed. 

The above verses ring very true for my family this week.  We received 2 miracles--thanks to lots of prayer for us and many of you! (Prayer Request was at the bottom of my last blog)

First, my father-in-law's bone scan came back all clear!  God gets the full credit.  Originally, we were told there would be no results for 30 days.  But, for some reason, the technician told him it looked clear to her and then confirmed with the radiologist.  An "official" phone call later confirmed it:  Cancer-free in the bones!   He still has another test to do for his "gut" area.  WE are praying for another miracle there too! 

Second miracle:  my cousin's baby has her intestines on the outside of her belly.  They were told that often with that problem come other more serious things.  They had to go see a specialist to find out the extent of her condition.  Praise the Lord, it really only is the intestines on the outside--all other organs are healthy and strong!  She'll be facing surgery a few hours after birth, but it is a relatively simple procedure with a 95% sucess rate.  So, we will keep praying and thank God for the miracle that nothing else was wrong. 

Please pray for me that I will continue to uncover God's will for my life.  I feel a little trapped right now.  I'm not sure what my next step is and I am awaiting His answer. 

Only the Potter Knows....

Have you ever watched a child play with modeling clay (or play-dough)?  They grab a handful and quickly start working with it--usually mixing up the different colors despite the parents efforts to keep them separate.  They shape it and display their "creations" proudly working diligently.  

As adults we may try to guess what the child is making..... "Oh, what a beautiful horse!". 

"That is not a horse!  It is a hamburger!" exclaims the child.   The "potter" is the only one who truly knows what he is forming.  And though it doesn't look just right to the casual observer, it is perfect in the eyes of the potter.

Our lives are like that confusing clay object.  It doesn't always look or feel just right to us, but our Potter, the Lord God, knows exactly what He is forming with each step.  

In, Isaiah 29:16, God's Word tells us that we sometimes turn things "upside down" as if the potter were like the clay!  We try to tell "Our Potter" that He knows nothing and that we, the clay, know what is best for us!  The scripture helps us see just how ridiculous that thought really is... God made us, how can we possibly assume that He doesn't know what is best for us? 

As our "Potter" is molding us, we occasionally find a lot of discomfort, sadness and pain.  Our hearts can get very heavy filling with anger, worry and doubt.  

"How gracious is He when you cry for help!  As soon as He hears, He will answer you.  Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with you own eye you will see them.  Whether you turn to the right or to the left, you ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "this is the way; walk in it."  Isaiah 30:19-21  

The above scripture really spoke to me.  We need "bread" and "water" to survive physically.  The scripture says the Lord gives us the bread of adversity and the water of affliction and when we realize it is from Him, we will see that He was teaching us all along! I believe that the words bread and water were chosen here because we need some adversity and affliction to survive/stay alive spiritually.  That saddens me because it means that when things are good we don't keep our eyes on Jesus like we should.  Our "potter" has to mold us a little bit so that we don't lose our perfect form.

The wonderful thing is that He promises to be our "sure foundation" --a rich store of salvation, wisdom and knowledge.  (Isaiah 33:6).   The potter never leaves our side.  He tends his flock like a shepherd.  (Isaiah 40:11).  He is our everlasting God.  He never gets tired or weary and He understands our adversity and affliction in a way that cannot possibly be understood.  He knows EXACTLY how we feel. ( Isaiah 41:27-31).

He tells us not to fear--because He is with us.  He promises to strengthen us and help us while holding us in His hand.  (Isaiah 41:10 &13) The Potter always protects his creation.  If He sees a tiny crack, He quickly mends it with fresh clay.  If the creation becomes dull and worn, He strengthens it with His gentle, but strong, sure hands. 

Sometimes when we just don't know if we can handle the things being thrown our way, our most precious Potter says....  "Don't be afraid.....I have called you by name.  You are mine.  I am He.  NO ONE or NO THING can deliver out of my hand.  When I act, no one can reverse it"  ( Isaiah 43:1-3, 13).   The Potter protects the clay with the very hands that He used to form it--even when the clay doesn't realize it.

Life is sometimes very hard on us, the clay.  When we become frightened or discouraged and begin losing hope, we must remember that nothing is impossible with God.  He loves us more than we can even come close to comprehending.  He has the power to carry us  us through things that we could never do on our own--both good and bad.  He is God.  The ultimate Potter.  Enough said.

"I will make rivers flow on barren heights and springs within the valleys.  (In other words, nothing is impossible with God.)  I will turn the desert into pools of water and the parched ground into springs.  (In other words, nothing is impossible with God.)  I will put in the desert the cedar and the acacia, the myrtle and the olive tree.  I will set pines in the wastland and the fir and the cypress together.  (In other words, nothing is impossible with God.)  Isaiah 41: 17-19      

My prayer:  Dear Jesus, thank you for all that you have done for us.  Help us never to forget that you are the Potter and we are the clay.  We are lifeless, unrecognizable and nothing without You, the Potter.   Mold us and shape us into the people you want us to be.  Help us never to turn things upside, but rather trust You completely.  Grant us peace in our adversity and affliction.  Help us keep our eyes focused on You and remember than nothing or no one can take us away from You.  May your will be done even when we don't understand why it has to be that way.  Thank you for loving us so much.  We love you too.   

Prayer request:  My father-in-law is having a bone scan next week.  Please pray that the results will be a miracle and nothing will be there and that God will get the full credit.  Also, my cousin is expecting a baby in December.  They just found out that her intestines are on the outside of her body.  LIttle "Victoria Faith" will have to have surgery after she is born and provided there are no other issues will have to be in the hopsital for at least a month.  Please pray with us that this precious unborn child will be healed.   THanks!  Brandi

Don't Say It! Pray It!

I talk too much sometimes.  Oddly, for the most part, I am a quiet person and was extremely shy until my late teens.  I'm not a person that just randomly and always talks a lot.  I am, however, someone that tries to fix problems, improve situations, prevent bad things from happening and mend broken relationships--especially for people that I care about.  Notice I said "tries".  

My job often involves "mediating", being a "diffuser" or "neutralizer".  Since I am the manager, I cannot just sit back and watch.  I have to react.  It is all on me.  I am responsible.  If things go wrong, it is ultimately my "fault".   Through the years, my skills have improved at helping each party involved see the other's "point of view"--whether it be helping a customer service agent understand the customer's anger or helping two peers who are arguing see the issue from the other's vantage point.  Those things happen so often in my day-to-day job that it has become a part of who I am. 

As a result, I have a natural tendancy to do the same in my personal life.  Couple that with my natural tendancy to "worry" and you've got a dangerous mix!  I see things heading in the wrong direction and I step in using words to try and prevent what I think will be a problem.  I often intervene when my husband and kids are talking-- trying to make sure they "understand" each other.  

When my teenage kids ask me a simple question, I go overboard turning it into a life lesson--making sure they are perfectly clear of my expectations and God's expectations.  As you can imagine, they roll their eyes and say...Okay Mom!  We get it!   Only recently have they started to tell me that I get "carried away" sometimes.  While it hurt my feelings a little bit the first time, they were not doing it to be hurtful and they were exactly right!    My heart is in the right place.  I want to protect them and myself. 

Sometimes, I can manipulate with my words.  I can say just the right thing to make the outcome what I desire.  In my mind, I have been successful.  The problem is there is always a new problem, a new situation, a new conversation. 

In a sense, I tend to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders thinking that I have to constantly step in and prevent bad things from happening, improve the situation or resolve the problem.  I put a alot of pressure on myself.  I am often fearful that I am not doing or saying the right things.  It goes back to the teaching that God only helps those who help themselves--which by the way, from my research is no where in the Bible!  In fact, it says just the opposite.   Yet that is so ingrained in me.

As you may imagine, the pressure of thinking you always have to be the "fixer"--responsible for the happiness and safety of my friends, family and work-family can be almost unbearable.  Obviously, I cannot "fix" everything.   God doesn't expect me too.

This pruning and breaking process that Jesus is putting me through has been a little rough at times, but so freeing at the same time.  He is working with me now on my problem of talking too much.  He has been telling me..... Don't Say It.  Pray It!   I've been working for weeks on just keeping quiet more often.  I've been praying... Lord, give me words to speak.  Hold my tongue unless the words are from you.  Oh my goodness that is hard for me at times!  

My daughter and I walk every night.  We are "training" to walk a 1/2 marathon on December 1st for St. Judes.  Usually, I am constantly asking questions trying to generate conversation, give lessons, share expectations.  Lately, I been trying to just walk and pray asking God to tell me if there is something that I should say.  

All of that has worked out fairly well.  Of course, I slip from time-to-time into my normal mode but hopefully soon that "let ME help you talk it out mode" won't be normal for me anymore!   In the last couple of days, Jesus has added to my lesson.  He has added the "pray it" portion.  He has encouraged me to pray for any situation that I would normally feel the need to handle myself--especially for people and relationships.  After praying, just keep quiet and step aside, He says. 

This should have been no surprise to me.  God's Word tells us to intercede.  He doesn't tell us to go out and fix everyone's problems.  He says, pray for them: 

So I turned to Lord God and pleaded with Him in prayer and petition in fasting and in sackcloth and ashes.   Daniel 9: 3 

Daniel doesn't say.... let me go out and cure all the problems!.. He prayed.

I urge then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving me made for everyone. This is good and pleases God our Saviour.  1 Timothy 2: 1 and 3 . 

The scripture doesn't say, step in and fix your family, but rather it says, pray for EVERYONE.  Not only that, but it says that it pleases God when we pray for others!.  Not that it pleases God when Brandi steps in and has a conversation that makes everyone feel better! 

I tried this a couple of days at work.  When I saw someone in the hall or elevator or in a meeting, I would speak and smile and then silently pray for that person.  I had to attend a huge meeting with about 75 other managers and above.   As I sat in the meeting, I went around the room and prayed individually and specifically each person.  I've been with my company over 20 years, so most of them I knew by name and at least new a little bit about them. 

If I knew they were a Christian,  I prayed for extra closeness with God and that others might see Him in their day-to-day activities.  If I wasn't sure, I prayed that they might feel His tug at their heart and that the right person might say the right thing at exactly the right time to lead them to Christ.  I prayed for the unborn babies of those expecting.  I prayed that the men would become the spiritual leaders of their families. 

Lated when I walked through the cafeteria, I prayed as I passed the empty tables.  I prayed that the conversations held there would be blessed and the people sitting there would have a good day, free of stress or complications. 

At the end of that work day, I felt really good for the 1st time in awhile.  I left work smiling that day instead of sighing and rubbing my head!  I certainly did not want to get prideful thinking that I had done a "good thing".  I had done nothing.  God gave me the idea to pray and it made me feel as though

I was productive that day.  I felt a little dumb.  Why did I never think of that before?    

Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other, so that you may be healed.  The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.  James 5: 16.

Here the scripture tells us that to be healed (I would imagine emotionally, spiritually or physically) I need other people praying for me and I must do the same for others!  God's Word tells us that those prayers for other people are powerful and effective!  He didn't say that we are powerful and effective!

I can say with complete honesty that I have tried the "pray it, don't say it" approach the last few days and have been completely amazed at how God has worked!  I have been praying specifically for certain relationships and even have been praying about specific conversations.   His Work is definitely better than my words.  

Certainly, I have a long way to go in my spiritual journey.  I don't think we ever stop learning or having to be reminded of things no matter how long we have been a Christian.  I am just so grateful to God for letting me see the importance of praying for others and for situations and for relationships and conversations.    Jesus is holding His nail scarred hands out to me saying....."Everything is not your responsibility.   Be quiet and still and know that I am God.  Let Me work while you watch for a change." 

Prayer: 

Jesus, You are truly amazing.  I don't feel worthy of your love and compassion.  For so long, I've stepped in when you just needed me to step aside.   For so long, I have been burdened with feeling responsible for saying all the right things, when all You asked me to do was to keep quiet and pray. 

Thank You for the work You are doing in me and in my family.   Help me Lord to remember the lessons You are teaching me.  I am afraid that I will slip into my old ways before I realize it.   I fear that I will expect things too soon and step in front of You when Your timing is different than mine. 

 Grant me patience Lord.  Hear my prayers and give me peace.   You love all of those that I care about far more than I do.  You cared enough to die for them and I thank you.

Driving Blind

I have had a a few strange, spiritual dreams recently.  Last night, I dreamed that I was driving a car but I couldn't see.  Everything was pitch black like I had my eyes closed or as though I were totally blind.  Yet, I was driving the car.  I was staying in the correct lane because I could hear and sense the traffic all around me.  I wasn't swerving or hitting anything.  I was moving along just fine.  

Suddenly, I became frightened.  I tried desparately to focus my eyes so that I could see where I was going but nothing worked.  I became aware that my Mom was in the car with me.  She said, "what's wrong, Brandi".   I said, "I cannot see.  I cannot see anything at all.  I need to stop.  I need to pull over!"  But, I couldn't.  It was as though my body wouldn't let me.  I just kept driving.  Then I woke up.

I couldn't go back to sleep for a long time.  As I lay in bed, I prayed that if the dream was a spiritual dream that I might understand what it meant.  Then I prayed for a long time for each of my family members, myself and a few others. 

I think the dream was symbolic of my current spiritual situation.  God is in the process of breaking me.  He is breaking me free of things that have been holding me captive and away from His Perfect Will.  He is breaking down the walls of fear, worry, anxiety and pride.   I feel a little overwhelmed and lost.  Like I am in a deep valley.  I know the Lord is "taking me somewhere", but I cannot "see" where.  

There is a side of me that is desparately fighting to focus my eyes.  I want to see where He is taking me.  I want to know if it is a good or bad place.  I want to be excited and happy because I know what is about to come.  But God isn't ready to show me yet.  He won't let me stop or "'pull over".  He is asking me to just keep going--driving blind, by faith alone. 

2 Corinthians 5:7    We live by faith and not by sight. 

I think the dream was also showing me that even though I feel lost and a little overwhelmed I am "okay".  He isn't letting me run off the road and wreck.  He isn't letting me hit anything or hurt anyone.  He is holding my "car" right in place in the road with all the hustle and bustle around me.  He is doing all of that on His own because I cannot see a thing! 

It is another sign that He is asking me just to trust Him.  He is working in my life.  He is causing me to hunger for answers and His presence.  He is causing me to identify my own weaknesses, mindsets, attitudes and traits that get in the way of walking closer with Him.   He is asking me to give those up to Him and just keep driving blindly. 

Although it didn't happen in the dream, I have to believe that soon, my vision will be restored and I will see where He is taking me.  I cannot wait for that day!  

Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.  Hebrews 11:1

My prayer:

Lord,  I know that you are answering my prayers even before I finish saying them (Isaiah 65:24).   I know that you don't need my help with anything and nothing is too hard for you (Jeremiah 32:27).  Yet, I still keep trying to focus my eyes, pull off the "road" and figure out where you are taking me.  Help me to just keep driving blindly--looking only at You.  I may still have a long way to go!

Grant me your peace and give me strength.  Let me shine for You in everything that I do as you take me on this trip. 

Thank you for dying for me even though I didn't deserve it.  Thank you for loving me.  Draw me near and never let me go. 

Amen