Today I had a huge blessing!  Today was my Sunday to assist a friend who has her MIL living with her.  She is elderly and needs care.  My cousin is in town from WI and the girls had stayed the night at the hotel with them.  She has a girl whose age is between the two oldest and one the same age as the youngest.  I went to pick them up the next morning and they asked if they could go on their day trip with them.  I said yes because I don't know when we will get to see them again, so I had the day all to myself.  It was rather weird not having anyone tagging along with me.  But I took the opportunity to really get into Gods Word.  Oh it was amazing.  I did another search for personal Revival and came up with this site by Andrew Strom.  THere is nothing on his site that tell you what he  believes..but from reading somethings on there..I think we pretty much agree on a lot of things.  Anyway..on this site he says to read Romans 5-8 and 1 John 3.  As I read reading it, I found so many affirmations of what I want to become.  I wrote them down to meditate on.  Then I remember Beth Moores five-point system of things we need to be believing God about that helped me overcome so many things before...here they are:

1.  God is who He says He is.

2.  God can do what He says He can do.

3.  I am who God says I am.

4.  I can do all things through Christ.

5.  God's Word is alive and active in me.

I am believing God to do great things in me..to bring me back on track.  Todays Oswald Chambers go right along with what I am reading about now.  I will post his devotion after this one is posted to keep it separate.  God is amazing!   He is infinate love!  I wish I could get people to see how He cares about every little detail of our lives and just how much He loves us.    Anyway here are the affirmations:

I am dead to sin but alive in Christ.  Romans 6.11

I am a slave to righteousness.  Romans 6.18

I am set free from the slavery of sin and have become slaves to God.  Romans 6.22

I am dead to myself, that I might belong to God, that I might bear fruit to God.  Romans 7.4

I live according to the Spirit.  Romans 8.4

The Spirit helps me in my weakness.  Romans 8.26

I face death all day long.  Romans 8.36

I am more than a conqueror.  Romans 8.37

Nothing can separate me from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus.  Romans 8.39

I will lay down my life for my brothers and sister (including my children)in Christ. 

1 John 3.16

I will love in actions and in truth.  1 John 3.18

EMPTY ME!  CREATE IN ME A CLEAN HEART!

Then Jesus said to his disciples,

 "If anyone would come after me,

he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.  

For whoever wants to save his life will lose it,

but whoever loses his life for me will find it.

Matt. 16:24-25

Create in me a clean heart, O God,
         And renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Psalm 51.10

A few weeks ago, I think it was around three weeks ago, I sent out a letter to some friends asking them to pray for me and my family as we are making some changes in our lives that we know would send satan into frenzy and he would do all that he could to make our life, well..not fun.  Well I was right.  These last couple of weeks have has some very fun moments and yet we can see where satan is trying to push our buttons.  Since I have done so many studies on satan attacking those week spots in my life I am really learning to keep watch over those areas and calling for help when I see those areas being breached.  Although this is true, I still find myself "in a rut".  So about two days ago, I resolved to do another time of fasting and praying..of personal revival, to repent and seek the face of God and rest in His mighty presence.  Today I did a google search to find my usual resource for personal revivals and found this one.  It is a quote by Larry Lundstrom is his January 1998 newsletter...whoever that may be.  LOL...but it is part of an article or something from A. W. Tozer.  Anyway here is the link and here is what it say:

1) Get thoroughly dissatisfied with yourself. Complacency is the deadly enemy of spiritual progress. The contented soul is a stagnant soul.

2) Set your face like a flint toward a sweeping transformation of your life.  Timid experiments are tagged for failure before they start. We must throw our whole soul into our desire for God.

3) Put yourself in the way of blessing. It’s a mistake to expect God’s help to come as a windfall apart from conditions known and met.  To desire revival, and at the same time to neglect prayer and devotion, is to wish one way and walk another.

4) Do a thorough job of repenting. Hasty repentance means a shallow spiritual experience. Let godly sorrow do her healing work. It is our wretched habit of toleration sin that keeps us in our half-dead condition.

5) Make restitution wherever possible. If you owe a debt pay it. If you have quarreled with anyone, go as far as you can to achieve reconciliation. As fully as possible, make the crooked straight.

6) Bring your life into accord with the Sermon on the Mount and other such New Testament Scriptures as are designed to instruct in the way of righteousness. An honest man with an open Bible and a pad and pencil is sure to find out what’s wrong with him quickly.

7) Be serious minded. The people of the world used to go to the movies to escape serious thinking about God and religion. There must be a radical change in  your habits, or there will not be any permanent improvement in your interior life.

8) Deliberately narrow your interests. Too many projects use up time and energy without bringing us nearer to God.  The mansions of the heart will become larger when the doors are thrown open to Christ and closed against the world and sin.

9) Begin to witness. Find something to do for God, and your fellowman. Make yourself available. Do anything you are asked to do. Learn to obey.

10) Have faith in God. Begin to expect. Look up toward the throne. All heaven is on your side. God will not disappoint you.

These suggestions constitute a formula for personal revival. When personal revival is experienced, there is no knowing how far it may spread. The Church is in desperate need of a spiritual resurrection and it can only come through the revived individual.

There are so many takes on this topic..well gossip is pretty clear..but the whining and complaining....I am kind of lost on the topic.  The Bible clearly says:

...for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

Do everything without complaining or arguing,

so that you may become blameless and pure,

children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation,

in which you shine like stars in the universe

Philippians 2:13-15

And then right before that the Bible says:

5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
 6Who, being in very nature^[a] God,
      did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
 7but made himself nothing,
      taking the very nature^[b] of a servant,
      being made in human likeness.
 8And being found in appearance as a man,
      he humbled himself
      and became obedient to death—
         even death on a cross!
 9Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
      and gave him the name that is above every name,
 10that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
      in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
 11and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
      to the glory of God the Father.

Philippians 2:5-11

I have had some people from the right tell me that God does not expect us to go through life alone and that we need to vent.  But when I seem to vent the more life I give to those feelings..whatever they maybe.  But then also sometimes when I complain and get those feelings out they disappear...it was like all I needed to do was to vent my frustration to make those feelings past.  And of course when you whine and complain...mostly it involves gossip of another person..not putting that person in a positive light in anothers mind. 

Then I have people on the left that say...don't whine and complain to others...whine and complain to God...give it to God and leave it at the cross. 

I always feel horrible after I have vented to others.  Like I have done and injustice to those I have vented about.  Which of course is true because I was not talking very nicely about those people.  I find that it also disrupts the attitudes in my house.  I am suppose to be the thermstat in the house and when I am having a bad attitude about whatever...it certainly is felt through out the whole ho use.

I would never talk to someone I did not trust...only to my best friends do I vent like that too.  I trust them to drop it and not think negatively about that person...but is that possible?  IDK...this is just one of those big...."WELL GOD?"  questions for me.  And since I feel so much conviction about it...maybe I should not do it.  I don't know...anyone else have any take on this that they would like to share?

My attitude should be the same a Christ...He never complained and whine about any situation that He was in...no mattter how unbearable...no matter how unfair.....no matter how frustrating.  Maybe that says it all??????

Get Moving!  Lately I have found myself in front of the computer or tv more and more, wasting my life away.  There are so many better things to be doing.  Writing and encouraging note to a friend, praying and ministering to  my girls, a friend.  My life is slowly wrapping itself in selfishness again.  Not that I was ever not selfish, but there is a big difference in my life when it is devoted to others and when it is devoted to myself.  Not only am I much happier but so are the people that surround me.  I could spend the time I spend in front of the tv and computer training my girls in righteousness...teaching them how to interact with each other, training them to be keepers of their homes.  Changing my focus in life could indeed affect the life of everyone around me, teaching them to put others first and loving others more than they love themselves.  The other day my little 5 year old asked me to play with her princess toys and I told her when the movie is over.  HMMM.....what is more important...geez....conviction.  I am trying to read daily the Utmost for His Highest and for the last week or so...if not longer since I missed a lot at the beginning of the month, but it is talking about this very thing...we should not focus on anything else but living the life of Jesus Christ.  Not trying focusing so much on what you should be doing, but just loving others, being their for them.  We should not be going through life alone, that is not how God created us. 

Lately I have seen some of this in my life, struggles that I have faced in the last couple of weeks.  When I call someone or let them know that I am struggling as ask for prayer, they stop and pray for me right there and it makes such a huge difference in my life.  They encourage me and remind me that Gods Power is in my life and that He is working everything out to His purpose, whether it be building my character by devoloping a certain character in my life or it being a consequence for a choice that I made in the past.  But having those friend there that are willing to take a moment to pray for me...it is refreshing and it helps me get over myself and move on to loving others again.

There are two songs that I have come to love, one by Jeremy Camp and the other by MercyMe.  Here are the lyrics:

MercyMe, So Long Self:

Well if I come across a little bit distant
It's just because I am
Things just seem to feel a little bit different
You understand
Believe it or not but life is not apparently
About me anyways
But I have met the One who really is worthy
So let me say

So long, self
Well, it's been fun, but I have found somebody else
So long, self
There's just no room for two
So you are gonna have to move
So long, self
Don't take this wrong but you are wrong for me, farewell
Oh well, goodbye, don't cry
So long, self

Stop right there because I know what you're thinking
But no we can't be friends
And even though I know your heart is breaking
This has to end
And come to think of it the blame for all of this
Simply falls on me
For wanting something more in life than all of this
Can't you see

So long, self
Well, it's been fun, but I have found somebody else
So long, self
There's just no room for two, so you are gonna have to move
So long, self
Don't take this wrong, but you're wrong for me, farewell
Oh well, good-bye, don't cry
So long

Don't feel so bad (don't feel so bad)
There'll be better days (there'll be better days)
Don't go away mad (but by all means)
Just go away,go away

So long, self
Well, it's been fun, but I have found somebody else
So long, self
There's just no room for two, so you are gonna have to move
So long, self
Don't take this wrong, but you're wrong for me, farewell
Oh well, good-bye, don't cry
So long self
farewell, goodbye (so long self)
farewell, goodbye (so long self)
farewell, goodbye (so long self)
farewell, goodbye (so long self)
farewell, goodbye (so long self)
 

And Empty Me, by Jeremy Camp

Holy fire burn away
My desire for anything
That is not of you and is of me
I want more of you
And less of me

Empty me, empty me, fill me
With you, with you

I pray that my life will be a beacon for the broken hearted and hopeless so that I can share the peace of love of Jesus Christ.  Am I available to drop my current agenda to comfort and love a friend or stranger who is in need of hope and encouragement?  Am I willing to put my comforts aside to stop and talk to someone, a stranger or a friend, in need?  What is my agenda for the day....myself...or others?  SO LONG SELF, YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO MOVE!!!

Excerpt from "Having a Mary Spirit" by Joanna Weaver

I have not read anything from or about Amy Carmichael except for what was written by Joanna Weaver, but just to hear about her ministry and her love for Christ, I want to read her life story...by Elisabeth Elliot and I would love to read some of her books that are still in circulation today.  LOL  Here is what Joanna Weaver says about Amy Carmichael and our step by step transformation of Christlikeness.

     "One of my heros in the faith is Amy charmiael, a missionary who gave her life to the children of India.  Though she struggled with illness throughout most of her ministry, she saved more than a thousand children from temple prostitution.  Despite being bedridden for the last twenty hears of her life, Amy wrote thirty-five books, many of which still touch lives today.

     The Children she resuced call her Amma--"mother."  Because of her passionate pursuit of Christ, Amy was a spiritual mother to many more, including her biographer Elisabeth Elliot, who write, "Amy Charmichael became for me what now some call a role model.  But she was far more than that.....She showed me the shape of godliness."

     But that does mean Amy Charmiael always felt totally consecrated and utterly committed to God.  From a page in her journal, we get a peek into a heart that struggled just as we do:

This is from Having a Mary Spirit:

Here are some ideas for cleaning up your heart.  Ask the Lord to help you, then start tackling one item at a time.  This will probably convict you, have an open heart.  God wants to free you from anything that hinders our walk with Him and from the sin that so easily entangles us.  (Hebrews 12.1)  Don't be afraid to examine your heart and search for things that would hinder you from building your relationship with Christ. (God does, what will He find. (Jeremiah 17.10)   Be humble! (Wonderful promise about humility Daniel 10.12, Matthew 11.28-30) Let go of pride!  Freedom from the cares of this world is not far away when you let Him purify you and you learn to lean on Him during the throes of life!  Find your freedom in Christ Jesus!

1.  Jealousy.  (You are all you get to be-enjoy it)

2.  Perfectionism.  (Desire to do your best but then accept the best you can do)

3.  Regrets.  (You can't undo mistakes, but you can learn from them.)

4.  Shame.  (If you've asked God for forgiveness, accept that you've been forgiven!)

5.  Blame.  (Stop pointing fingers at everyone else.)

6.  Coarse joking.  (Crude humor rarely uplifts; it only demeans.)

7.  Self-hatred.  (Forgive yourself and move on.  GOD HAS!)

8.  Gossip.  (If it can't be said in front of the person, don't say it.)

9.  Fear.  (Stop and pray before fear takes hold.)

10.  Short tempter.  (Count to ten or give yourself a time out)

11.  Fantasies.  (Don't miss life by habitually checking out.)

12.  Envy.  (Learn to want what you have.  Lottery anyway??  UGH!!)

13.  Lies.  (Discard the habit of half. truths. exaggerations, and full fledged deception.)

14.  Swearing.  (eliminate even sugearcoated words like gosh and heck!)

15.  Complaining.  (Don't nurse it or rehearse it...disperse it.)

16.  Guilt trips.  (Don't book travel for yourself and don't send others.)

17.  Ingratitude.  (Look for things to be thankful for-tell someone about it!)

18.  Comparison.  (Accept yourself and appreciate others.)

19.  Impatience.  (Develop long-suffering without the whine.)

20.  Careless Words.  (Ask, "Does this really need to be said?")

21.  Passivity.  (Tie up loose ends by taking action.)

22.  Laziness.  (Do one thing today you don't want to do.)

23.  Worry.  (Add "Dear Jesus" to your fear and turn it into prayer.)

24.  Greed.  (Give something you love away.)

25.  Negativity.  (Train yourself to look for the good in situations.)

26.  Self-Pity.  (Cry for five minutes if you must, then blow your nose and move on!)

27.  Lust.  (Eliminate the I-must-have-it-now desire for people and things.

Since we have these promises,

 dear friends,

let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit,

perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.

2 Corinthians 7.1

Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ,

and do not think about how to gratify

the desires of the sinful nature.

^{Romans 13.14}

You were taught,

with regard to your former way of life,

to put off your old self,

which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires;

to be made new in the attitude of your minds;

and to put on the new self,

created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

Ephesians 4.22-24

Today in my Bible reading I read the most beautiful Psalm:

1 Blessed are all who fear the LORD,
      who walk in his ways.
2 You will eat the fruit of your labor;
      blessings and prosperity will be yours.

3 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine
      within your house;
      your sons will be like olive shoots
      around your table.

4 Thus is the man blessed
      who fears the LORD.

5 May the LORD bless you from Zion
      all the days of your life;
      may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem,

6 and may you live to see your children's children.
      Peace be upon Israel.

Psalm 128

What a beautiful picture!   Those who know God and His awesome power (those who fear Him) and walk in His ways will eat the fruit of their labor and prosper!   That is just such a beautiful picture in my mind of Gods great love for those who love Him and live for Him, seeking to be more like Him.   MMMM.....How Great Is His LOVE!!

The Lord is my strength and shield.

I trust Him with all my heart.

He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy.

I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.

Psalm 28.7

     Well there is some new stuff going on in our life.  I would really love to share what is going on, but I also feel that God wants me to just let Him do His thing.  It is pretty excited, even though it is all just up in the air.  We don't even know what is going on or how it is all going to work out, just that God is doing something. 

     I think amist all that is going on..well  I know, that God is trying to build me in my faith with Him.  This was KLOVES Scripture of the day:

"Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come."

~ 1 Timothy 4:8, NLT

    Of course this speaks to me greatly being that during this time God is working on growing me...in not worrying.  When ever something like this happens, I get this constant tightness in the back of my neck, letting me know that I am worrying about something that I have NO CONTROL OVER!!  AGH!!  NO CONTROL OVER!  But yet it is so exciting!  So I read the Psalm for the day and decided that I will memorize Psalm 28.7 to help take my focus off from the surrounding circumstances and place them on God.  I just figured this out at the end of the day, lol so I guess I will start it tonight and put it into deeper practice tomorrow.  So if you are reading this..please be in prayer for us...Bryan seems to always be so calm about this stuff, but me, I begin to dream and expectations become high, even though I don't want them too.   But I can definitly feel the tension in my neck and I don't want that!  I want my total and complete trust to be in HIM!  I want my heart to totally submit to Him..completely trusting in HIM!!  It breaks my heart to sit here with the tension in my neck knowing that I am not trusting in Him.  Gods Grace is Sufficient!

Psalm 16

The Lord - Our Safe Place In Life And Covering In Death

 1 Keep me, O God, for I am safe in You.
 2 I said to the Lord, "You are my Lord. All the good things I have come from You."
 3 As for those in the land who belong to You, they are the great ones in whom is all my joy.
 4 Those who have traded for another god bring many troubles on themselves. I will not take part in their altar gifts of blood. And I will not take their names upon my lips.

 5 The Lord is all that I am to receive, and my cup. My future is in Your hands.
 6 The land given to me is good. Yes, my share is beautiful to me.

 7 I will give honor and thanks to the Lord, Who has told me what to do. Yes, even at night my mind teaches me.
 8 I have placed the Lord always in front of me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be moved.
 9 And so my heart is glad. My soul is full of joy. My body also will rest without fear.
 10 For You will not give me over to the grave. And You will not allow Your Holy One to return to dust.
 11 You will show me the way of life. Being with You is to be full of joy. In Your right hand there is happiness forever.

A couple of days ago I was looking through the Sidetracked Home Executives web site and somewhere along the way I ran into Fascinating Womanhoods courses (http://www.fascinatingwomanhood.net/, http://members.tripod.com/~frankysj/fwlsnindex.html,) which some how led me to a web page, which is actually a free online book about how to become a fascinating woman and how to improve your marriage.  I had heard about the actual book by Helen Andelin titled Fascinating Womanhood, but I had not ever bought it..although I wanted to.  Well as I started reading this little online book I began to think about all that I missed out on in our marriage because I was trying to hard to fix Bryans faults.  How much better would it have been if I had just allowed myself to be loved my him, not holding him at arms length, but embracing him, all his faults included.  So I begin an adventure, to try and better myself, to be a loving and attentive wife praying that I can allow my husband just to love me, and praying that I can just love him.   

I know that to some people, this comes so easily, they meet the man of their dreams an they just embrace one another and it is just that easy.  But to me, I wanted to be in control because all men are incompetant and are not the wisest creatures.  I think I was so wrapped up in the whole feminist movement, even though I did not know it that I have fumbled and made life harder than it has to be.  I want my marriage to be as God created it to be, not what the world made it to be.  So here I begin yet another adventure to decern my role as wife and lover to my dear husband. 

As we get into the Word more and more we begin to realize just how much we sin on a daily basis. That still small voice (Holy Spirits conviction) will be heard more and more and we are able to repent and ask God to change our hearts.  When we have a willing heart, God can do great things in our lives.  I don't know about you, but for me it is hard for my mind to stop at conviction and it continues on into condemnation.  But since there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus, only grace and mercy, it can only be coming from one source, satan.  Satan knows where are weak spots are, and when he finds them, he is going to take his fingers and stick it right where it hurts. 

How can we prevent this from happening?  Well, in all honesty, I don't believe that we can.  But what I do believe is that God has given us a family of believers to stand up with us and fight this fight with us.  When you find yourself weak, call a brother or sister in Christ and talk to them, ask them to pray with you.

11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
       But how can one keep warm alone? 

 12 Though one may be overpowered,
       Two can defend themselves.
       A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:11-13 

When we have someone walking through life with use, we can overcome the darkness that can surround us.  We can fight the good fight standing side by side.

As Paul was talking about in Philippians and as who ever wrote Ecclesiastes is talking about here in chapter 4 we must stand together and try not to walk through life on our own.  As RJ preached about this morning in the river at church (if you would like to listen to his sermon click on the link)...lets not keep each other at arms length, but lets wrap our arms around each other and fight this battle.  Is there someone with you in your corner ready to stand up and fight for you and with you, to wrap their arms around you and encourage you and to PTL with you in victory?? Can you be a blessing, a partner, in someone elses life?

If not pray that God will bring someone in your life.  He will!:)  Until then...you can email me or call me and I will stand in the gap.  Our God is an awesome God! 

Gosh, even I could even share with you the love and hope that I have found in Jesus Christ.  The acceptance and peace.  God wants to share His love and peace with you too!  Are you ready to stop fighting the world and find the place where grace and forgiveness lives?  Leave a comment with your email address or email me personally.  If you need someone to pray for you...please give me the honor of praying for you.  I have been set free by his love..well you allow yourself the same joy?

This is my favorite song....I HAVE BEEN SET FREE:)

"Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)"
Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed
My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy rains
Unending love, Amazing grace

The Lord has promised good to me
His word my hope secures
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow
The sun forbid to shine
But God, Who called me here below
Will be forever mine
Will be forever mine
You are forever mine

Here it is on youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?=UeRdfnfCJwA&feature=related

This morning I was doing my Setting Captives Free and they had a testimony from a man who found a way to FEAST on Gods Word daily.  This is the same way that I do it....on most days so I can can testify to the spiritual power and soul delight that comes from feeding our inner man in this manner day by day.

Day 49 - How to Feast at the Lord's Table
This lesson has the power to truly change our lives. What you will learn today will be of inestimable value to you, if you apply it in your life day by day. I’m excited about this teaching, because it very clearly presents how to feast on Jesus Christ and because of the way it has changed my own life. We all know that feasting on Christ is necessary for living in a disciplined manner and losing weight, so get ready to learn and enjoy today’s topic.

Please read this highly instructive account of how one very godly man, George Mueller, learned how to feast on Jesus Christ. Though it is rather long, it contains excellent teaching and will be well worth the time and energy it takes to study through it.

"While I was staying at Nailsworth, it pleased the Lord to teach me a truth, irrespective of human instrumentality, as far as I know, the benefit of which I have not lost though now. . .more than forty years have since passed away.

"The point is this: I saw more clearly than ever, that the first great and primary business to which I ought to attend every day was, to have my soul happy in the Lord. The first thing to be concerned about was not, how much I might serve the Lord, how I might glorify the Lord; but how I might get my soul into a happy state, and how my inner man might be nourished. For I might seek to set the truth before the unconverted, I might seek to benefit believers, I might seek to relieve the distressed, I might in other ways seek to behave myself as it becomes a child of God in this world; and yet, not being happy in the Lord, and not being nourished and strengthened in my inner man day by day, all this might not be attended to in a right spirit.

"Before this time my practice had been, at least ten years previously, as an habitual thing, to give myself to prayer, after having dressed in the morning. Now I saw that the most important thing I had to do was to give myself to the reading of the Word of God and to meditation on it, that thus my heart might be comforted, encouraged, warned, reproved, instructed; and that thus, whilst meditating, my heart might be brought into experimental, communion with the Lord. I began therefore, to meditate on the New Testament, from the beginning, early in the morning.

"The first thing I did, after having asked in a few words the Lord’s blessing upon His precious Word, was to begin to meditate on the Word of God; searching, as it were, into every verse, to get blessing out of it; not for the sake of the public ministry of the Word; not for the sake of preaching on what I had meditated upon; but for the sake of obtaining food for my own soul. The result I have found to be almost invariably this, that after a very few minutes my soul has been led to confession, or to thanksgiving, or to intercession, or to supplication; so that though I did not, as it were, give myself to prayer, but to meditation, yet it turned almost immediately more or less into prayer. When thus I have been for awhile making confession, or intercession, or supplication, or have given thanks, I go on to the next words or verse, turning all, as I go on, into prayer for myself or others, as the Word may lead to it; but still continually keeping before me, that food for my own soul is the object of my meditation. The result of this is, that there is always a good deal of confession, thanksgiving, supplication, or intercession mingled with my meditation, and that my inner man almost invariably is even sensibly nourished and strengthened and that by breakfast time, with rare exceptions, I am in a peaceful if not happy state of heart. Thus also the Lord is pleased to communicate unto me that which, very soon after, I have found to become food for other believers, though it was not for the sake of the public ministry of the Word that I gave myself to meditation, but for the profit of my own inner man.

"The difference between my former practice and my present one is this. Formerly, when I rose, I began to pray as soon as possible, and generally spent all my time till breakfast in prayer, or almost all the time. At all events I almost invariably began with prayer. . .But what was the result? I often spent a quarter of an hour, or half an hour, or even an hour on my knees, before being conscious to myself of having derived comfort, encouragement, humbling of soul, etc.; and often after having suffered much from wandering of mind for the first ten minutes, or a quarter of an hour, or even half an hour, I only then began really to pray.

"I scarcely ever suffer now in this way. For my heart being nourished by the truth, being brought into experimental fellowship with God, I speak to my Father, and to my Friend (vile though I am, and unworthy of it) about the things that He has brought before me in His precious Word.

"It often now astonishes me that I did not sooner see this. In no book did I ever read about it. No public ministry ever brought the matter before me. No private intercourse with a brother stirred me up to this matter. And yet now, since God has taught me this point, it is as plain to me as anything, that the first thing the child of God has to do morning by morning is to obtain food for his inner man.

"As the outward man is not fit for work for any length of time, except we take food, and as this is one of the first things we do in the morning, so it should be with the inner man. We should take food for that, as every one must allow. What is the food for the inner man: not prayer, but the Word of God, so that it not only passes through our minds, just as water runs through a pipe, but considering what we read, pondering over it, and applying it to our hearts. . .

"I dwell so particularly on this point because of the immense spiritual profit and refreshment I am conscious of having derived from it myself, and I affectionately and solemnly beseech all my fellow-believers to ponder this matter. By the blessing of God I ascribe to this mode the help and strength I have had from God to pass in peace through deeper trials in various ways than I had ever had before; and after having now above forty years tried this way, I can most fully, in the fear of God, commend it. How different when the soul is refreshed and made happy early in the morning, from what it is when, without spiritual preparation, the service, the trials and the temptations of the day come upon one!" [1]

Exerpt from Setting Captives Free Lord Table Bible Study..Day 49