This suddenly sounds very depressing, by the title......but let me explain.  We had a couple of experiences this week, that have been pretty hard---and yet I think we learned some important lessons from them.

About six weeks or so ago, we bought (I know, that's  ridiculous) some tadpoles from the local garden center.  When I was a kid, I found a mass of frog's eggs in a stream behind our house.  But there is no stream here.......

So they have been living in a huge galvanized washtub on our back deck,  and we have been enjoying watching them change.....little by little they have been changing into frogs.  But one of them was almost completely a frog, tail almost gone.....and he died.  One moment he was fine, next time we checked he wasn't fine.  It was so sad for the kids!

So Esther painted a rock to put over his grave, Josh made a cross and we had a little froggy funeral in the vegetable garden.

That was the death experience.

Then yesterday we had to take a kitty to the humane society.  It wasn't our kitty, but one that adopted us a few weeks ago.  He showed up one day under our jeep and nearly scared the living daylights out of me.  I just wasn't expecting him to be there.  We tried to find out who owned him, to no avail.

Whenever I went outside he was there.  He was very beautiful and would jump in my lap and hug me.  I mean really, just snuggle down and hug.  We fell in love with him, and we tried to integrate him into our family.  We already have a dog, and a cat.  And two rabbits.  And only one tadpole.

I started calling the cat "Ruger" so that maybe Dad would get attached to him.  It kind of worked, and actually we started letting him come in the house and stay.  He was so thankful!  You could just tell.  But we started having turf wars between the cats, and when I found "Ruger" with a mouthful of "Bandita's" fur, I decided he had to go.  We have had Bandita for awhile now, she is family.  It was a very hard decision.

I can't believe I am writing this way about a crazy cat.  I know that there are many of you out there who are dealing with "real" human sorrows right now, losing loved ones. I know that there is a difference between all of us who were created in God's own image, and that a cat is a cat is a cat.  But one of my kids became very attached to him.  One child cried all the way to the humane society, and I cried part way back.

My daughter asked me why did God allow this kitty to come into our lives if we just have to let him go away?  So after pondering it, I think it was for this reason:

Charity begins at home.  We, as Christians are called to minister to those that are placed into our paths, BUT sometimes we do it at the expense of our own families.  There is a need to find a balance between those inside our home and those on our doorsteps. I know that the Lord calls us to make some sacrifices----but mostly I think those are sacrifices of self, not sacrificing our family.  He calls us to obedience, and that is where we must be obediently serving and training and loving our family first, then we can help those outside of our walls. 

Sometimes I am guilty of doing this, not just with animals---I mean with people.  I love to help people and will usually go out on a limb, if God asks me to. But sometimes my kids or husband get second place when I am off being a "do-gooder."  I know we are known by our Love, as Christ's followers.  But like I said, Charity begins at home.  Charity=Love. 

So even though I am down about the events, I know that I "unlearned" from them.  I just read a passage in Oswald Chamber's famous devotional, about how trials are here to "help us unlearn certain things." Our faith can sometimes depend on circumstances, and we need to unlearn that, and just let our faith depend on Jesus, and how He is with us right now, in this cloud of despair. 

Maybe to my kids all they see is that we lost an "almost frog" and had to say goodbye to a furry friend and trust that God will see that he gets a loving home, but I know that I see God continuing to work in my life, in each little thing----as long as I unlearn the circumstances, and trust that God is in the death and separation.  It is the only way I can get through it!

Unlearning all the time :)

Happy Homeschooling,

Nancy