A few years ago (2 1/2) I wrote an article for our local support group newsletter called "Homeschooling and Diabetes."  You can read it under the articles section of our website. 

I am not even sure where to start this entry tonight.....it's almost midnight here and I am in desperate need of a couple of toothpicks-----you know, to prop my eyelids up.  I am really tired.  But it has been a very emotional day.  My son who has diabetes has been battling his blood sugar all day long.  He is on an insulin pump, which we thought was going to be our panacea for this horrid interuption to our lives

Psalm 19:14 is my blog motto: "Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer."  (KJV) 

I have decided that it's ok for me to have a little whine tonight.  Actually, I had most of this post done, and had saved drafts and all---then my computer started acting up.  So I lost all those profound thoughts and words I was just writing. 

Well, maybe the Managing Editor decided to cut some of it.  But I suppose since there is an entire book of the Bible dedicated to lamenting, that it gives me a license to do some too.  One way or another, I am going to say what is on my heart tonight---or actually, today.  And by the way, it is now officially my birthday.  (Even though I realized recently that my profile says it was yesterday.  My mistake.  Today is the eventful day, honest.)

So, back to Nancy's Lamentations:

I am stuggling tonight to see my little boy go through all this.  I want his healthy life back.  I can't hardly stand to see him on days like this, where he is SO sad and frustrated by this disease.  You just don't know what this is like---it has completely taken over our familiy life for close to three years now.  Sure, we rallied and have learned what we needed to and done what we have to do to keep him healthy, but the battle is daily.  It is a battle between us and the disease, a battle between my son who just wants to forget he has this ball and chain.............but can't get rid of it and the knowledge that He has to become responsible to deal with it on his own.  It will be totally his responsibility some day.

  He is the most precious little guy---but when the glucose builds up in his little body it makes him so angry and frustrated.  And I get the same way, and tempers flare. 

And we pray and cry together.  And all I can say is that I hate this disease.  I know I need to be thankful for all the modern medical miracles that get us through on a day to day basis.  And I am.  But I still  will hate this disease until the day I die, or until a cure is found.  Or until the Lord decides to heal my son.

N.