And while you are at it, just being gooder would be nice.  :)

Rats, wouldn't you know it?  I have had so many typos, and mispellings, and other sundry errors on my blog that I had to fire my editor!  Right before Christmas.  I really hated to do it, but she was getting me into all sorts of trouble with the Punctuation Police!  (the Secret Punctuation Police, that is.)  So, after getting rid of my problem, heaven forbid I have that kind of riff-raff here on my blog, I thought I better find some good grammar rules to go by so I don't get myself into trouble again, in the interim!  Alas, this is all I could find, and me thinks this must have been the manual my editor was using all along!

Grammar Rules - How to Write Gooder Here are several very important but often forgotten rules of English: Avoid alliteration. Always. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat.) Employ the vernacular. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive. Contractions aren't necessary. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos. One should never generalize. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." Comparisons are as bad as clichés. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous. Be more or less specific. Understatement is always best. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. One-word sentences? Eliminate. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake. The passive voice is to be avoided. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed. Who needs rhetorical questions?

To give credit where credit is due, I found this on "Mikey's Funnies." 

This crazy blog entry is in response to a comment about my blog, on ANOTHER blog, about an entry on MY blog, about another blog......follow?  (Not on HSB, so don't worry.) Anyway,  I just happened to surf over there tonight and found that some dear lady had spent a whole lot of time over here, checking for errors.  :)  Wasn't that nice of her?  I am not quite sure why, but she did anyway, and I just want to thank her!  I never would have known that I mispelled "beeswax" or "free-rein" or even known that I goofed up that crazy "s" on the word "naysayers!"  I am forever in her debt.  I have posted before on my apostrophobia, and she must have missed that!

I am not sure where she got the idea that I think I am a superior teacher though....I can't say I have ever laid claim to that. But we are all entitled to free speech, even if it's not very kind.

And I haven't had anyone say that I "S**K" in a long time.  (Actually, my blog, not me.  But I and my blog are one.  LOL)

You know, I just want to share a little story with you all.  PLEASE try to ignore any typos, ok? 

Earlier this week, I had two hours of really fun dental work done.  :)  And after that, with my mouth feeling very fat, I decided to stop by a little store that was on my route.  You see, I was looking for a gift for my daughter that I had seen there before.  I searched the aisles looking for this particular item, and couldn't find one.  I did find a similar item, but decided it just woudn't do.  Before I left, I thought I would take one more trip around the store, checking the clearance shelves.  I prayed that if there was one of these items left in the store, that I just might find it!  As I rounded the last corner, there it was!  Right on the clearance rack.  It was discounted about 30% because of a small flaw, but I was thrilled to find it.

I got up to the only check out and was the only one there.  While the clerk, a young woman, was tallying up my purchases, a man came up to the counter and started asking if they had a certain item.  The clerk and a manager were both there and they proceeded to dialog with this gentleman about his needed product.  After several minutes of that, the clerk then turned her attention back to me.  About that time, a well dressed, made-up older woman came rushing up to the counter, and very animatedly (is that a word?) announced that they had something back there with her name on it and she was here to get it. 

The clerk and the manager looked very disturbed because someone else had already picked it up for her....did she ask someone to do it?  Oh, she exclaimed, yes, I did!  Last night at the cocktail party she had asked so-and-so to pick up her purchase and she had had TOO many drinks and forgot!  The clerk and manager looked relieved.  I stood there with my mouth beginning to hurt, as the anesthesia was wearing off, I was hungry and tired and just wanted to finish checking out and go home. 

 About that time, another "gentleman" came rushing up tot he counter with this huge cooking pot.  While I waited for my total so I could write my check....."I am Mr. So and So from such and such law firm and we have adopted this family for Christmas and I would like to know if you can give me a discount on this purchase, blah, blah, blah.  Sigh.  I had a hard time holding my very fat feeling tongue.  Actually, I didn't hold it, and in hindsight, well, you know, I should have. 

 I said "I am so amazed that this transaction has been interuppted three times now, and I would just like to finish here with my little order and go home."  The clerk, who should have been aware of  her transgression said nothing.  "Well, excuuuuuuuuse me!" said the lawyer in a very pompous and condescending tone.   I said, "I am just so surprised that nobody is willing to wait their turn."  To which he replied, "Well, the next time I see you somewhere, I will be sure not to interrupt you.  " Right," I said, "I am so sure you will!  And with that, he replied, "Merry Christmas", in a very sarcastic tone, as I took out my very long key chain that says "Jesus Loves You" on it and headed for the door.

I got into my car, and headed home, and you can imagine that I was fuming.  I called hubby to vent, and he said, "Guess you have three people to pray for today!"  Hmph. 

I certainly didn't feel like it, but in reality I knew he was right!  I also replayed the whole event in my mind with all the options of what I could have done, should have done, would have said....if I had stopped and prayed and not opened my mouth.

Later at home, I pulled out my current copy of TEACH, which just came in the mail.  If you have yours, read the column about When Love Grows Cold, by Jennifer TeGrotenhuis.  (I am sure I spelled her name wrong, oh, nope it's right!)  It spoke to me about recent events, and it is my prayer that it will continue to speak to me, God's Word that is, about my heart of stone, and how God can't use it.   Out of the heart, the mouth speaks, and we all know that if God's Word isn't in us, it isn't going to come out of us.

It certainly isn't good to get caught up in what other people think of us, or our homeschooling, or our writing......we are called to edify, not tear down.  I really hope that I can turn my heart of stone, with the Lord's help, back into that heart of flesh that can be conformed into the image of His son.

And some day I might be given a grade of an "S" by the only Important One to judge me, and it will hopefully stand for satisfactory, or even better, it will be a "W" for "Well Done."

Guess I need to add another person to my prayer list!  Hmmm.....maybe I could hire her to be my editor!

Homeschooling Is Life!

Nancy

(C) Homeschooling Is Life 2006 Nancy K. Baetz