Apr. 28, 2008 The Poor Me Syndrome
This is a common pregnancy woe. Especially when you are prone to reading 19th century literature during pregnancy. You know, the stuff wherein pregnant women are waiting on hand and foot. They are treated as invalids, having even the smallest tasks preformed for them. So I figured that the greatest cure would be to do a little medical research. Yep, I said medical research. You see, I have hypothyroidism. That's a long word for a disease that can be kept completely under control with a tiny pill that you take everyday. In pregnancy, you need to take a little more, but really, if you have to have a disease, this is the one to have because it is so easily treatable.
Not so during the 19th century. In fact, most likely had I been "fortunate" enough to live during that time, I would have died sometime after the birth of my second child from complications of untreated thyroid disease.
So it seems that I am truly one of the lucky ones.
~Annemarie
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Apr. 27, 2008 Reacting to Mood and Emotion
I am doing an in depth study of the book of Philippians with a friend. It is so rich that often you have to look at each individual word in order to understand it's full meaning. The phrase that I have been looking at this morning is in chapter 1 vs. 10
"So that you may approve the things that are excellent."
Of course, the "so that" refers to his prayer that their love may abound more and more in all knowledge and discernment (the previous verse). That is important because it is this growing love that will enable you to approve what is excellent. What does approving what is excellent mean though? Here is a quote from the study materials that I am using:
"Now listen carefully. It is not the ability to distinguish between good and bad. Everybody can do
that. It is the ability to distinguish between good and best and only a few seem to be able to do that.
The discernment that assesses what is best, so crucial, being able to take your life and focus your time
and your energy on what really matters...approving what is excellent, testing, assaying, assessing,
proving, approving what is most significant. And listen, the ability to do that is what separates the
simple from the profound, the weak from the powerful, and the common from the influential. Those
profound powerful influential people are those people who have ability to focus their life on some
excellent goal and they are not dissuaded or detracted by things that are less than excellent."
If only I could adequately communicate how this impacted me. As any homeschool mother knows, my life is fraught with things that almost demand my attention and energy. Both of those things being in short supply, I am often left wondering "Did I spend my time and energy on the best things today?" Usually, the answer to that question is not easy to come up with and I am left feeling dissatisfied with life. This dissatisfaction leads to a "bad mood" which creates the following:
"Now this is a prayer for the mind, by the way. You might even say the first one, a prayer for love,
was a prayer for the heart. This is a prayer for the mind because you cannot pursue what is excellent
unless you can assess what is excellent. This is the challenge to me of life, is having the ability to
pursue what is most noble and best. And that's just not how most people are. Most people are like the
proverbial bouncing ball, they just react...they react. They're a kneejerk kind of life style. They just do
whatever impulse, emotion, mood tells them or they simply react to the environment around them.
They don't control the environment and they don't control their response to the environment, in fact
they don't think, they just react. Most people live off their moods. They don't control themselves, their
selves control them. They don't think at all. They can't pursue unhindered and undistracted what is
excellent because they can't think and control their thought patterns to the degree that they can assess
what is excellent. They react. It's tragic but most people live in reaction to everything around
them...like a bouncing ball bouncing off every wall they hit in whatever direction they have the
freedom to go."
Unfortunately, I see "me" written all over that last paragraph. Especially right now, when my normally low energy level has sunk to new depths due to pregnancy. What amazes me are the implications of what is said here. The implication is that I can control how I respond to my environment despite my mood. Come on folks, that is amazing! Very few people do that, which is why we so often say "My your in a good mood!" or "Boy, you sure are in a bad mood today". It seems to be very typical to see mood reactions in everyday living.
But how in the world to I change this in me? How do I stop being one giant mood rings, with ever changing colors for the world to see?
"But as Christians, if we're going to pursue what is excellent, we have to have mind over mood. You
cannot be a victim of your emotions and your moods if you're going to pursue what is excellent. In
Romans, you're familiar with that wonderful twelfth chapter and second verse, "And do not be
conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind that you may prove what the
will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect." You've got to renew your mind. You
have to get your thinking in order. That's why in Philippians 4 Paul says, "You've got to look at
whatever is true, whatever is honorable," verse 8, "whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is
lovely, whatever is of good report and if there's any excellence and anything worthy of praise, let your
mind dwell on these things." It starts with your mind. You've got to get beyond reacting to your mood
and your emotion."
Renewing my mind. Boy is that ever a phrase that I have heard a million times. In fact, I once heard a preacher explain that renewing your mind is more that just a idea, it is actually a physical process that takes place as you change the way that you think. Your brain will make new paths within itself as it changes. So, you really and truly are renewing your mind when you change the way that you think and thus how you respond to life.
In concluding this mini blog study, I want to note that I have yet to find a divinely inspired asterisk next to any verse that says:
*Pertains to all Christians, except extremely exhausted mothers.
Bummer. :-)
~Annemarie
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Apr. 26, 2008 The Laugh That I Needed So Badly
If you are into cute things, don't visit this link. If you like reality above fantasy, please visit Demotivators. Oh my. I wanted to link some of my favorites, but I love them ALL. I laughed until I cried. Don't forget to read his blurb at the top, it explains it all.
This one is great.
~Annemarie
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Apr. 26, 2008 A Tale of Two Sons
This is the title of a sermon series that I am listening to. Scroll down to Monday, April 14th and you will find the first message in the series.
I love these sermons. Pastor MacArthur encourages you, as you listen, to identify yourself with one of the two sons in the story. I have to say that I am pretty sure that I am the Licentious Son. No, my behavior never was as extreme as the son's in the the story, but my heart was. Part of the reason that I am enjoying these sermons is because I am pregnant. What?! Yes, really. When I am pregnant, my emotions are basically laid bare. Any normal emotions that I would have are intensified almost to the point of being unbearable. Sometimes it stinks, but other times it allows me to see things in a new way with a depth that would normally be missing. To listen to the description of the younger son, the depth of his depravity and his scorn for his father. Then to listen the description of the father and the intensity of his love for his son. To understand that Jesus was telling this parable to illustrate God's love for me! Wow. Simply wow.
Another reason I am enjoying these sermons is because sometimes, occasionally, once on a blue moon, John MacArthur is funny and when I hear the congregation laugh, I know that my friend, Jen, is there laughing. Her husband was attending The Master's Seminary and they were able to attend Grace Community Church for a while. This series of messages spoke to her and she blogged about it way back when. (Sorry Jen, I can't remember which month or year that was!)
It has been a while since I blogged about homeschooling, but rest assured we are still homeschoolers. I am working on a post detailing our curriculum for next year. Hopefully I will get that up soon.
~Annemarie
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Apr. 13, 2008 One of My All Time Favorite Hymns
"The Love Of God"
The love of God is greater far
Than tongue or pen can ever tell
It goes beyond the highest star
And reaches to the lowest hell
The guilty pair, bowed down with care
God gave His Son to win
His erring child He reconciled
And pardoned from his sin
Could we with ink the ocean fil
And were the skies of parchment made
Were every stalk on earth a quill
And every man a scribe by trade
To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry
Nor could the scroll contain the whole
Though stretched from sky to sky
Hallelujah
O love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure
The saints' and angels' song
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Apr. 7, 2008 True Salvation
" Are you a Christian? Many people who claim to be point to some event in the past to substantiate their claim. But inviting Jesus to come into your life in the past is not proof that you are genuinely saved."
This quote comes from a booklet that you can read here. Wow. How deceived we are. I weep to think of how many are being "assured of their salvation", when they truly aren't saved.
21 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. 22 Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ 23 And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’
Matthew 7:21-22
~Annemarie
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Apr. 3, 2008 What Used To Be
I used to be into blogging in a big way. But goodness, it takes time and, more importantly, brain function. I wish that I could get back into it. I love expressing my thoughts about life and God and homeschooling in a coherent way that others can enjoy.
I had a startling thought yesterday. I have become a Christian that can go from can't-see to can't-see (in modern speak, that's dawn to dusk) without having any really serious thoughts about God, His Word or His Son. That, is a gut-wrenching statement to make. How in the world have I gone from a place where I barely drew a breath without speaking to Him to here, where I am so wrapped up in the mundane things of life that I only really meditate on Him during my "quiettime"? I don't know, but I don't like it. If this is what is caused by the business of life, then it is time to slow way down and get back on track. My kids are NOT going to learn a passion for Christ from their Sunday School teacher.
That is absolutely my job.
~Annemarie
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Mar. 30, 2008 A Screensaver For My Brain
Do you ever wish that there was something like this available? I do. I wish I could just stop thinking for just 5 minutes. My brain seems to be on overload and the little person who normally resides in that tiny organ that is able to file these thoughts, has taken a 9 month vacation.
~Annemarie
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Mar. 17, 2008 How Exciting/Interesting Can I Be In 15 Minutes?
That all I have before I put baby J to bed and start school! But hey, as the soon-to-be mother of four, I am learning that you grab those spare minutes, no matter how few they are.
The hideous all-day-sickness-that-some-people-call-morning-sickness seems to be passing. This is where I would insert a smilie that is dancing like crazy, if I was the smilie type of blogger. I still feel nauseous, but the that is so preferable to bending over the toilet 6 times a day. This has been an eye-opening 8 weeks. I think that I will write a book entitled "Reflexions In The Porcelain". Goodness.
Spring in on it's way and I say "Hurry up!" Never in my life have I longed for warmer weather the way that I am this year. These kids need to be OUTSIDE! I am sensing that these walls are rapidly beginning to close in around us. Ack.
We are back in the swing of things, as far as school is concerned. I am very thankful that the Lord led me to be really consistent during the first 20 weeks of school. It has enabled us to jump right in (even though we had a 6 week break) and feel like we never quit.
Can I just tell you that it is hard to concentrate when the kids are running around making enough noise to wake the dead?
~Annemarie
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Life is sloshing right along. As you can see, I have entered the second trimester. Oh how I praise the Lord for spring. What a glorious time it is. The warmer weather. The trees starting to show their green. I need it this year more than I ever have.
Last week, my yard looked like this.
This morning, I saw this.
That, my friends, is how life is. Snowy, cold and bleak one week. Blooming, vibrant and promising the next. I am so glad that there is a season for everything.
~Annemarie
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Feb. 14, 2008 The Me Time Myth and An Announcement
Hello All!
I read an excellent blog entry that I would like to pass along to you. You can find it here. It is called The Me Time Myth. It is a must read for every wife and mother.
Also, I am pleased to announce that we will be a family of six in about 30 weeks! While we are extremely excited, it has also been a difficult time as I am dealing with debilitating "morning" (really 24 hours a day) sickness. I would appreciate your prayers that this will pass soon so that we can get on with normal life.
~Annemarie
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Jan. 8, 2008 I am not vague.
And yet...as I sit here, I am almost consumed with a vague memory of happiness so intense that it makes me take deep breaths over and over again, savoring the realness of it. This memory that has surfaced has been called forth by the following: a wonderful smell of homemade split pea soup made with smoked ham, a brisk breeze flowing through my house, sunlight streaming in from all windows and the sound of a circular saw buzzing next door. I have know idea why these things combined have succeeded in recalling one of the vaguest, deeply joyful feelings I have ever had, but they do.
My soul is filled with thankfulness. I simply cannot describe it. Oh, I know that feelings are fickle. But I thank Him for making us to feel and feel deeply. What a good God He is.
~Annemarie
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Nov. 18, 2007 I Just Don't Understand
The other day I saw a news story that left me in tears. I know that was exactly what the reporter planned and she was successful. As I was literally blubbering over my keyboard, I had one thought running through my head. Why me?
Not the whining "why me", but the gut wrenching "why me". Why did He choose me? To have this cushy life. To have healthy children. To know suffering in only a vague way. Why is He so good to me constantly? My thoughts have turned of course, to thankfulness. In part, because Thanksgiving is approaching and in part, because I read Psalm 107, which repeats this verse 4 times (vv. 8, 15, 21, 31):
Oh, that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness,
And for His wonderful works to the children of men!
Yes, I have so much that I am thankful for, but I am left asking why in the world this holy, awesome God even wants me to approach Him with my thankfulness? In my mind's eye, I imagine that if I were some all-powerful being bestowing things on people who were as sinful as I am truly am at this moment, I would desire them to be thankful......from a distance.
And yet, oh my, the picture that He gives us of Himself running, yes...running, to the prodigal son who has been working with pigs! I don't understand Him. I am left in awe of His love. Weeping over what I don't understand. Thanking Him for making a girl who wallows with pigs a joint-heir with His precious Son.
~Annemarie
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Nov. 16, 2007 Bargaining With God; Otherwise Entitled "Mental Conversations With An Idiot"
Have you ever bargained with God? I have. The thing that gets me, is that I *know* that is not how He works. Yet still I persist.
Lord, if you will just allow me to lose this weight and become thin and beautiful again, I will totally give you all the glory. Technically, I know that I was not ever beautiful, just pretty in an average sort of way, but seriously, I would give you ALL the glory. I would become a world famous speaker wherein I would focus every talk on how You took the weight away because You are all powerful and can do even the most impossible things. OK, I know that last time I lost weight I became a self centered, nasty creature, who was constantly seeking glory for herself, but I promise, promise, promise that will not happen this time. And if You could do this all by Christmas, my thanks would be overflowing and I will bless You with the fruit of my lips.
About this time, I realize that I am talking to myself. Why? Because I totally know that God does not hear the proud and that is what this mental conversation is all about. Pride. With a capital P and that rhymes with T and that stands for totally unbiblical, which is what that conversation was.
So. The deal here is whether or not I am obeying His word s.p.e.c.i.f.i.c.a.l.l.y. In order to do that, I have to know His word specifically. Here is today's gem:
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!
5 Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand.
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
~Philippians 4:4-7
I know that this passage is one that almost every Christian knows, but today I asked myself, do I live this out in my daily life?
~Annemarie
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Nov. 11, 2007 Who Needs a Roller Coaster When You Have Hormones?
As a teenager, I used to love to ride roller coasters. I loved the feeling that I was almost flying. As an adult, I have seriously considered the possibility of death that those rickety contraptions have associated with them and more often than not, I choose to stay firmly planted on the ground, thank you very much. However, I am still blessed (whatever) to experience the personal roller coaster of hormones.
That lovely feeling of way up one minute and way down the next. Like I have nothing better to do than imitate a mental patient. Not only does it wreak havoc on my unsuspecting family, it is also, *gasp*, unbiblical. Alas, it is true; God did not write a separate bible for hormonal women. He did write some special verses for us though.
16I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. 17For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. 18But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. 19Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. 24And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. 26Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.
I took it upon myself to highlight the special part that God wrote just for me. I think that in the original manuscripts that there was a parenthetical command that read: PAY ATTENTION TO THIS, ANNEMARIE! However, those silly monks decided to leave that out.
Here is another doosie aimed right at me.
Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry,
For anger rests in the bosom of fools.
~Ecclesiastes 7:9
In the bosom of fools. Yep, that's what it says alright. So take heart, dear people, God my have not written a separate bible for us, but He definitely wrote some pretty specific instructions.
~Annemarie
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