Posted in Train Up A Child Thursday
Repentence, Forgiveness, Restoration
With 5 kids under the age of 10, there's lots of sinning going on every day! (and unfortunately, the kids aren't the only ones who sin every day!) It's hard to keep on top of it all and sort it all out every time someone complains or somebody else doesn't do something they should or another someone does something they shouldn't! But in order to maintain some semblance of routine and order, we use a handy tool that is a script whenever we have a problem with behavior or attitude. It's a way to keep short accounts, restore relationship and promote humility all wrapped up in one neat little package. All of our kids who are verbally able practice this script several times a day (and so do I).
Step One: Repentance: When a child (or mom) sins, the first step is to admit guilt (I'll use me as an example). If I lose my cool and yell at my kids (not ME...), I would go to them (when I've cooled off) and say something like this " Kids, I was wrong to lose my temper and yell at you. That does not show love and self control.
Step Two: Forgiveness: I've admitted my sin, but that's not enough. Now I must ask for forgiveness so the next part goes like this. "Will you please forgive me for not having self control?
Step Three: Restoration": Next time I'm tempted to yell, I'll work harder at counting to 10 and asking the Lord to help me use a quiet voice. Hugs all around, kids forgive the mom (Kids are SO good at forgiving their mothers!)
You can use this with your kids, too! It's important for children to first recognize that what they did (or didn't do) was sinful and admit it, secondly to ask forgiveness of all offended parties including the Lord, and thirdly come up with a plan for the next time they are tempted to sin - something they can do instead.
(It helps to have the child first say what they DID that was wrong and then ask forgiveness for what they Didn't do eg. "I was wrong to hit my sister when I was angry" is much more specific then saying "I was wrong to not be nice" "Please forgive me for NOT keeping my hands to mysel")
We usually do this in private, the mom and the offending party, and we practice together what the offending party will say to the offendee when we leave the private area where we are talking together.
Of course, all of this can only happen when the offending child has self control, so in the heat of the moment, I usually have the child go sit somewhere out of the flow of household traffic until they are calm enough to discuss what happened.
Oh, and of course, consequences are applied as needed. Once a child admits they are wrong, it's easier to get them to see that they need a consequence to help them remember to think twice next time!
And once again, hats off to Carla Link who worked through this concept as well. www.momsnotes.com
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