Posted in Train Up A Child Thursday
Like a city that is broken into and without walls is a man who has no control over his spirit Proverbs 25:28Self-Control. Who couldn't use a little more? Some of us could use a LOT more! In many ways, it seems, parenting boils down to teaching our sweet little sinfully depraved off-spring that fine art of controlling one's passions, tempers and wills. At 30-something, I'm still trying to get a handle on my "self,' which seems a losing battle some days. I really really really want my children to reach adult hood with more self-control than I currently possess. So that is one thing we work really hard at around here.
Jesus said the greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart and soul and mind. And your neighbor as yourself. What is at the root of that if not controlling our selves that are naturally bent to resisting authority and loving self best?
Thankfully, it's not a battle we fight alone, Peter reminded us that we already HAVE everything we need for life and godliness through the true knowledge of God. The Lord has given us His Holy Spirit who leads us into all truth and convicts and commends us according to the need of the moment. But the everyday working out of that is still a fight. Paul said he buffeted his body and lamented that he often found himself doing what he didn't want to do and not doing what he did want to do.
So again, how do we make the crucial need for self-control real to our young children? (and our older ones as well!) Along with general training to obeying parental authority, I often remind my children that they are called to be the "boss" of their bodies. This is an interesting concept to children who often feel like they have to follow all the rules but don't get to impose rules on anyone else!
When going through our Repentance, Forgiveness, Restoration script, I always ask them questions like
-What did you do that was wrong?
-When you were mad at your brother, what did your body want to do? -What should you tell your body when it wants to hit back or grab a toy or speak rudely? (or whatever the offense was)
I try to impress upon them that they are responsible for what their bodies do (or don't do). God gave us our bodies to be an extension of Himself, we are to use our bodies to love and serve others which means cultivating LOTS of self-control.
We also talk about how every time we tell our bodies "No" and choose to do what is right instead, we are exercising our self-control muscle so each time it should get a little easier to do what is right!
In the Proberbs also is a verse that says "The way of the transgressor is hard." I don't want my children to have a life that is "hard" because of their inability to control themselves. I want them to enjoy the blessings that come from learning to graciously submit to authority and from looking to serve others rather than self.
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