Here's the first song Bunny (10.5) wrote.  It came from a Sunday School lesson I gave last week.

I Want to Be

I want to be loved by You

I want to be noticed in the crowd

And I want to know what to do

when I'm caught in a trap

I'm gonna need you when I'm

stuck in thought

And when I'm having a bad day

I will just sit down and pray!

I want to be loved by You

I want to be noticed in the crowd

And I want to know what to do

when I'm caught in a trap

Why am I still trying to be perfect

When the only perfect One is You

You died upon the cross for my sins

and now I've fallen in love with You

And I'll say it again

I want to be loved by You

I want to be noticed in the crowd

And I want to know what to do

when I'm caught in a trap

Now I know all I have to do is

Turn to You

I'll turn to You

I'll turn to You

I'll turn to You...

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It was the last day of my mountain getaway.  I had been struggling for a long time with some things and I wanted to get some direction from God.  So far, my half-hearted attempts at getting His attention seemed to be going nowhere.  I had come fully prepared to pray, fast and study the Word but had found myself sleeping, eating chocolate and avoiding quiet times with audio books.

On Sunday morning, I detoured on my way back to the cabin from breakfast and stopped the car at a small pond with hiking trails.  Since I was missing church, I had a half-formed notion to worship in the woods.  As I walked, I snapped photos of interesting things to show the kids when I got home.  At several points, I thought of turning back.  I only had an hour until checkout time and I still needed to pack up the car, but I kept feeling the urge to go just a bit further.

It was a beautiful spring morning in the Rockies.  The sky was blue, the birds were singing and the creek was running fast with mountain runoff.  I stopped on a bridge and sat still, watching the sun sparkle on the crystal clear water.  I thought about all the failures, trials and distractions of the past few weeks (months, years?) and wondered why I didn't have what it took to seek the Lord with all my heart.  Why couldn't I concentrate enough... pray enough... be enough??  Why couldn't I grasp grace?

I felt compelled to look up.  There above the rushing stream, directly in front of me, was a still-dormant young tree.  All of it's leaves were gone - all but one.  One shrivelled, dry, brown leaf clung desperately to the sleeping tree.  No life could flow into that leaf.  It would not be restored and renewed when the tree woke from its winter slumber.  Instead of letting go in the wild fall winds for a short but glorious flight like all it's brethren, it doggedly stayed connected to its past.  Instead of letting go of the security of its current position, instead of allowing itself to be carried to its new destination on the rushing stream, it died where it hung.  Refusing to be part of the circle of life - life, death, rebirth - it missed its purpose, its calling.

OK, too much for a mindless little leaf.  But oh! so appropriate for me.  I am so afraid to let go of what I cling to, the apparent safety and security of what I know of God.  I am stuck in my routine sameness, hoping against all the evidence that it will be "enough".  Knowing that it is not.

God wants more of me.  He wants to show me things that I desperately want and need, but that I am too afraid to accept!  I am that leaf, and a vital part of me is wasting away in my need for control. 

The Lord has asked me to let go and trust Him.  Trust Him with my life, my husband, my children.  Trust Him with all of my heart, all of my soul and all of my strength.  And what else can I do?

"But thanks be to God, he has given us VICTORY through Jesus Christ our Lord."  1 Corinthians 15:57

© 2008

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In the Great Computer Crash of the Summer '06, I lost most of the book I had written.  BUT - I found some hard copy notes!  I'll be sharing some poems and devotions in the coming weeks - trying not to duplicate the ones I've already posted.  Here's a newer poem without a devotion (yet!).

Faith on a Tightrope

Confusion swirls around me

as I attempt to learn this dance -

Just to follow in Your footsteps

with the faith of a little child -

Seems such a simple thing

But the world rushes in

and tries to carry me away

And I get caught up in the pursuit

of knowledge for knowledge sake

And didn't You say, "Be wise as serpents"?

It's a fine line to walk

and a long road to travel

Now I'm up on the high wire

Walking a tightrope I can't even see

The view of the path set before me

blocked by the burden of my own misconceptions

It seems You call me back on track

"Deny yourself and follow me"

So I give in...give up...give away

Knowing that nothing is important enough

to take me from Your side

Yet, "whatever you ask for, you will recieve"

I hear time and time again

But now I've lost the desire,

the confidence to dream -

Is this all there is for me?

It's a fine line to walk

and a long road to travel

Now I'm up on the high wire

Walking a tightrope I can't even see

The view of the path set before me

blocked by the burden of my own expectations

I am not worthy of Your love,

How could I ever be?

Yet You came to earth to die for me,

while I was yet a sinner

And I was worth Your blood

My vision seems much clearer now

Though the line I walk still narrow

But I am no longer afraid to fall

For You are beside me to guide me,

All around me to catch me

And within me to save me

It's a fine line to walk

and a long road to travel

But I’m finally on my way.

© 2005

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My last entry, I mean.

It seems, after reading all my blog feeds from my favorite online people this morning, that I simply have a case of...

February.

Yup, midwinter blues!

So the Lord & I are gonna go into a huddle and sort this out.  And I'm going to BE STILL (oh, sooooo hard for a person who's brain never goes into neutral) and find out what HE deems important in my schedule.

I always get a little shiver of fear when I do this, because I know that God is going to shake things up around here and that means leaving my omfort zone.  But you know, it's like that tingle that's more delicious excitement than fear.  The Lord is on MY side - woohoo!

Disclaimer:  I'm offering apologies for any dangling, random thoughts in the past 2 posts.  My brain works WAY faster than my fingers and sometimes I make leaps in thought that seem disjointed.

Peace,

Katie

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Hi, y'all!  This is a repeat, but I hope to do a new one soon!

Those who trust in the LORD are like Mount Zion, which cannot be shaken but endures forever.

Psalm 125:1

Foundations of Love

LESSON:

Have you ever wondered if the Three Little Pigs knew about Jesus?  I have the feeling one of them did! You see the first two pigs built their houses out of flimsy materials.  They threw up a couple of huts – one made of straw and one made of sticks.  When the wolf came, he easily blew them down.  But the third little pig took his time.  He laid a foundation – brick by brick, stone by stone – and worked hard until he had a house that could not be shaken.  When the wolf came along, he could not destroy the house and the pig stayed safe.

Jesus told the story of the wise and foolish builders.  The wise man built his house on a sure foundation.  The Bible says “The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall because it had its foundation on the rock” (Matthew 7:25).  These are people who hear Jesus’ words and obey them.  The foolish man built his house upon the sand; and when the storm came, the house fell with a crash.  These are people that hear the Lord’s words but choose not to follow Him.

So how do we build our foundations?  What are the “bricks” in our lives?  In order to have Jesus as our foundation, we need to know Him.  To get to know Him, we need to read God’s Word and talk to Him in prayer.  As we do, we’ll find out more about the ways He shows His love to us.  Then we in turn can build our lives on His foundation of love, trust and obedience.

PRAYER:

Thank You, Lord, for showing me how to love and to build my life on your Word.  AMEN

SONG:

(To the tune of “Mary Had a Little Lamb”)

Those who trust in the LORD

In the LORD, In the LORD

Those who trust in the LORD

Are like Mount Zion

Which cannot be shaken

Shaken, Shaken

Which cannot be shaken

But endures forever

Psalm one hundred twenty-five

One hundred, twenty-five

Psalm one hundred twenty-five

It’s found at verse 1

CRAFTS:

I.  Valentine Cards

Make a simple card or letter to show someone that you love them, and Jesus does, too!

Materials Needed:

construction paper or cardstock

scissors

markers

glue or glue stick

Fold the paper or cardstock in half to make a card.  Draw hearts, flowers, smiley faces or whatever you want on the card to show love.  Use the scissors to cut out heart shapes from colored paper and glue to the card.  Write one thing you like about the person you’re giving it to and add a Bible verse about much Jesus loves them (try John 3:16, Romans 5:8, Psalm 32:10b).  Don’t forget to send the card!

II.  Mobile

Create a mobile showing the bricks you’ve laid in your foundation as a family!

Materials Needed:

coat hanger or dowel

string

5-7 colored paper rectangles

marker

hole punch

Bible concordance

On each paper rectangle “brick”, write a Bible verse about love using your concordance.  On the other side, write something you can do to show love as a family (visit a nursing home, clean up your neighborhood, leave notes of encouragement for each other, etc).  Punch a hole in the top of each “brick” and tie a length of string to each.  Vary the lengths of string a bit.  Tie the other ends of the strings to the coat hanger or dowel.  Add a final string for a hanger and put up your mobile in a central location.  Choose one activity per week to do together to build your foundation as a family!

APPLY WHAT YOU’VE LEARNED:

*  Make a Valentine for someone you love (even if it’s not February!)

*  Bake cookies for someone who needs a treat

*  Use your hands to show your love (hug, sign “I Love You”, clap for a job well done)

*  Pray for all those around you

WHAT’S THE POINT?

As parents, we need to be intentional about showing our children how to build a foundation on the Rock, Jesus Christ.  Children are so literal, they need to be taught concrete ways to put “feet to their faith”.  For that matter, plenty of adults need new ways to add “bricks” to their own foundations!  Working together as a family to study God’s Word and put it into practice is a great place to start.

ADDITIONAL READING:

* 1 Corinthians 13

* Galatians 5:22-23

© 2001

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Sorry, this is a repeat from last year.  I regret to say that I lost most of my devotions in the Great Computer Crash of '06.  I do have SOME backed up, but not all and I don't have a word processing program right now anyway.

Where Do You Keep Your Jesus?

At first I thought Jesus was

for other people

What did He want with me?

But then I learned a little

and thought He could help

with parts of my life

So I kept Him in a box

with the other holiday things,

you know, tinsel, colored eggs and the Messiah

It was a nice arrangement,

at least I thought so,

but I'm sure He probably got a little bored.

Someone gave me a Book

and I read it sometimes

I thought it would be a nice spot

So I kept Jesus in my Bible

I'd dust Him off once in awhile,

Just to help out in the rough spots

I don't think He liked it much

He kept sending me these messages

and I listened a little more.

I started going to church -

I figured He'd be pleased

Maybe He'd leave me alone

So I kept Jesus at church

I got to visit once a week

and I really liked having Him there

But He kept insisting,

"No, I want you"

And I think I'm finally beginning to understand

Now Jesus is in my life,

my heart, my mind,

He's on the throne of my soul

And my life is more complete,

my joy is full,

my love knows no end

The miracle of Jesus risen

is played out in my walk with Him

and I am a child of God

Where do you keep your Jesus?

* * * * * * * * * *

I used to see the world in terms of "Christian" and "secular".  I thought that everything fit neatly into its own category.  Then I met Eileen.

There was something about her from the start, something... different.  It must be why I forced my normally shy self to not only join her aerobics class, but to speak with her as well.  I looked forward to the two mornings a week that I would stay after class just to say, "Hi".

Eileen has such a love for the Lord that it shines!  Through her prayers with the class, her insights on the devotionals she read and her genuine love for everyone, I began to see how to let Jesus into my everyday life.  Watching her, I learned that God wants even the mundane issues in our lives to be consecrated to Him.  My life will never be the same.

* * * * * * * * * *

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.

            Matthew 5:16 (NKJV)

Where do you draw the line?  Do you tell Jesus that parts of your life are "off limits"?  Does He go with you to church but not to work?  Is He allowed in the house only at mealtimes?  Or have you opened all the doors of your heart to His light and love?  Won't you do that today?

Father, I know You never intended for us to divide our lives into separate compartments.  Jesus, I want to know You more fully.  I want You to take over every aspect of my life.  Holy Spirit, work within me that the light of your love might be a beacon to others.

© 1999

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Love for the World  

i feel so far from You, Lord

You seem so high above me

when You look in my direction

i quickly turn and walk away

i can't bear to see Your glory

Your majesty is too much for me

i'd rather turn towards the darkness

than bathe in Your radiant light

yet, here in the darkness of

life without You

i yearn for Your comfort

and peace

how can this be?

You are reaching out

to bring me to You

reaching through the darkness in my soul

You've given me so much

i have nothing to give

but what is this?

all You want is me?

You've come for me -

You died for me -

I turn from this darkness

and run for Your open arms

And the peace that floods my soul

is the Light I used to fear

The light of Your love

for all the world.

**********

I knew that this passion play would be different when it started with the entire 350 member cast singing Rich Mullins' "My Deliverer".  I started praying then and I didn't stop until God had touched my heart in an undeniable way.

You see, I had been struggling for so long with my false ideas of God.  Many of these lies had been planted by Satan himself, some were deeply rooted misconceptions, which had started in childhood.  I always saw myself as too sinful to approach God, even after receiving Jesus as my Savior.  I didn't understand how very much He loves me.

The play I saw on that sunny Saturday made me realize that Jesus doesn't see me as a sinner.  He sees me as lost, as in:  precious and worth finding again.  He already knows my sins.  What He wants is my love and devotion.

* * * * * * * * * *

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

            John 3:16 (NKJV)

How do you picture your meeting with Jesus?  Does it make you joyful?  fearful?  excited?  Have you ever gotten a revelation from God showing you how much you mean to Him?  Open your heart today and let Him show you.  It will change your life!

Father, I love You.  I know You gave Your Son so that I could have fellowship with You.  Please reveal to me "how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ" (Ephesians 3:18 NIV).  Give me revelation in my heart of Your presence in my life and help me to see my worth in Your eyes.

© 2002

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Lost in You

I follow the thunderclouds as they travel across the sky

and I wonder at Your majesty

It gives me thoughts to ponder

and it fills my mind with hope!

I watch the sun set over the sea

and I am in awe of Your imagination

It sparks a song deep within me

and my heart sings with joy!

I look into the eyes of my newborn child

and I marvel at Your grace

It creates a wellspring of emotion

and my soul bursts with Your love!

When You have touched me,

mind, heart and soul,

I long to be with You forever

and I am Yours.

**********

I attended a Mothers Of Preschoolers (MOPS) group for a few months very early in my Christian walk.  I was just beginning to learn to trust Him with my life and MOPS helped in so many ways.  I saw practical examples of how to live out my faith, I met Eileen, my mentor, and I met Nicole, who became the sister I never had.

At first, I felt we had nothing in common.  I only knew her name because she was part of my small group.  I never thought we would form a friendship, and I'm sure she felt the same about me.

The beginning of the second session, something changed.  Prompted by God, Nicole sent me a note of encouragement when I needed some support.  I thought it was odd, I mean, she wasn't even in my small group anymore!  But the note touched me enough that I called her.  I remember spending hours with her on the phone, just talking about our children, our families and our love for the Lord.  She helped me to see things in new ways and helped me open my heart to allow God to work in my life.

We have since formed a bond that has touched us both.  We are more than friends, we are sisters in Christ.  I have grown so much thanks to her love and support.  I'm so happy that the Lord created this special relationship for us.

You see, after we became friends, we both stopped attending MOPS.  There seemed to be no reason to go any longer.  We had fulfilled God's purpose for that time in our lives.  Isn't it remarkable that our heavenly Father, who commands the thunder and the seas, cares enough to orchestrate our lives with such love and foresight?  We are all a part of the wonderful symphony of His creation.

* * * * * * * * * *

Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.

            Psalm 150:6 (NIV)

Can you see the hand of God all around you?  Do you praise Him when you see evidence of His majesty?  God is everywhere, from the most breathtaking view to the smallest detail of your everyday life.

Will you praise Him today?

Father, You are an awesome God.  I thank You for the sunsets, the flowers, the trees, the way You move in my life.  Help me to always listen for Your still, small voice to guide and direct me.

© 2000

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Now I'm Getting Somewhere

At first I couldn't do it,

I just couldn't let go

I held on tightly to the things

that seemed to matter, oh, so much!

I couldn't give away my hatred,

My bitterness, my greed,

I just didn't want to part

with my loneliness and frustrations

But then I thought,

Share the wealth!

And why not?

Misery loves company

So I began to share my anger,

my disappointment and my fear

But it seemed the more I gave away,

the more I received

I was getting nowhere.

Then Jesus reached out

With His wonderfully tender touch,

And taught me new lessons,

New freedoms were mine

But I was afraid,

Afraid of past failures

and unhealed hurts

Would it happen again?

Finally, I took the plunge

and gave it all away,

The whole ugly package

was tossed at His feet

And what did I get in return?

Love and acceptance,

Everlasting joy,

And the power to give it away

Now my cup is never empty

It overflows with kindness and grace

I have no choice but to spread it around

to those who need it most

Now I'm getting somewhere!

* * * * * * * * * *

You know, I didn't get to choose how my life began.  I had no choice of parents, nationality or religious background.  I had no control over my circumstances, living conditions or educational opportunities.  I was placed where I was through no decision of my own.

I will not get to choose how my life will end.  I may not get a choice of who is with me when I die, or where I am, or what I am doing.  Only God knows the details of that time in advance.  Sure, I will make decisions that lead me to that point; but the final chapter of my life will not be penned by my hand.

Instead, I travel through this life with many choices.  How will I treat my fellow man?  What values will I instill in my children?  What legacy will I leave behind when I am gone?  Whom will I serve?

God created us with a free will, with choices to make and decisions to defend.  What will your choices be?

* * * * * * * * * *

But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

            Joshua 24:15b (NKJV)

Do you get caught up in the "what ifs" of life?  Do you spend time focusing on events and circumstances that you cannot change?  Why not shift your focus to the choices that you can make.  The difference you see in your life will amaze you!

Father, I want to serve You.  I want to make godly choices with my life.  As much as it is in my power, I want my life to be a reflection of You.  Help me to let go of the things I cannot change, and to take charge of the rest, with Your guiding hand.

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My Jesus      

You're not the man I thought You were,

gentle prophet of ancient days,

Wise and kind, a man of the people.

Loved by some, hated by some, left to die alone

King of all...Creator...God...

What have I to do with a king?

You didn't come in my time,

But You left Your footprints on the hearts of men

and they sent me searching

Redeemer...Savior of sinners...Lover of the lost...

But I know where I am!
Don't I?

I can manage on my own

But You never let me go

Your love flows through me and makes me Yours,

as You are mine - my Jesus

Now as I release my hold on my soul,

I find that You are more than I could ever dream...

And all I ever need.

**********

I really thought I had this Christianity down pat.  I mean, at 26, I had been baptized as I confessed Jesus as my Lord and Savior.  That should be the end of it, right?  Oh, I know I had duties to perform.  I went to church every Wednesday and Sunday, even served on a few committees.  But at hymn sings, we always sang songs like "King of Kings and Lord of Lords".  It helped to keep Him at a distance.

As I began spending time with people who had a more intimate relationship with Christ, I realized I was missing something.  My faith was sparked, sometimes sustained, on the days I went to Praise Aerobics and by the Sunday sermons at our new church.  However, once I got home, Christianity remained something I did and not a vital part of who I was.

When Eileen, my aerobics instructor and dear friend, moved away I was forced to admit that I was lost.  It was too difficult to retain a secondhand faith from Sunday to Sunday without the midweek jolts from her faith.  So I did what came naturally - I had a faith crisis.  When I cried out to God with my questions of "Why?", His answer was simple:  Stop turning to other Christians as the only source of inspiration and strength.  Humble yourself and turn to Me.  Ouch!

As I reexamined my walk with Christ, I found what was missing.  He is not just the King of Kings, as awesome as that title is.  He is also my best friend, my hope, my life,... my Jesus.

* * * * * * * * * *

I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.

            Galatians 2:20b (NIV)

Who is Jesus in your life?  Is He King, Creator, Lord; words that have more power than intimacy?  Have you made your decision to follow Him personal or do you still cling to the rituals of religion?  Jesus is so much more than we could imagine.  Why not take steps today to cultivate the greatest friendship you will ever know.

Father, I'm tired of worshipping You with a secondhand religion.  I want to know You and Your son in an intimate way.  Reveal to me the places I hold back from Your love.  Help me to release my hold on those things I still wish to control.  Touch me with Your tender grace.

© 2001

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Colors in My Soul

At first, it was small,

black and empty.

When I reached in to discover myself,

all I brought out were

two fistfuls of nothing.

I had no purpose, no meaning,

almost no reason to live.

But You!  Ah, You - Jesus!

You've painted my soul like a canvas

Brightly colored images burst forth into

                        JOY!   REST!

            HOPE!                        PEACE!

LOVE!                                                      WORTH!

You have changed me,

You have made

a rainbow in my soul

Complex colors, subtle hues

giving me material

for expression of myself

And in Your eyes,

I am a masterpiece.

********** 

Life before Jesus.  I can't believe there was ever a time when I did not have Him in my life, when I did not have joy in my heart and hope in my soul.  But it's true!

I used to become depressed easily.  I spent a great deal of time searching for answers within myself, and failing miserably.  I was often angry and would lash out at loved ones, almost wanting to drive them away.  I recognized the problems, but not the solution.

I read self-help books, went to time management seminars, saw a counselor twice a month.  I tried everything in my power to save myself but I always came up empty handed.  I needed to look out and up, not in!

I cannot pinpoint the exact moment I found Jesus.  It was a gradual change.  Looking back on my life, I see the places He met me although I was too concerned with myself to notice.  My point is, there was nothing I did to make Him magically appear.  He was always there waiting for me to turn to Him. 

I still get depressed at times and I often find myself unable to control my anger.  But these moods are becoming less frequent and I spend more time feeling joy, love, hope and peace.  Jesus has filled my world with His colors and with His help, I am changing my life.

* * * * * * * * * *

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

2 Corinthians 5:17 (NKJV)

Have you tried unsuccessfully to change your life?  Jesus is the Author of life, the Creator of all things.  As the Master Artist, He has the best materials.  Won't you let Him share with you?

Father, I am in awe of the colors of Your love.  Thank You for changing my soul and giving me the opportunity to become more like You.  Help me to use the gifts You have given me for the good of all.

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Patterns in the Sky

Mystic patterns in the sky

We look to them and wonder

why we live and why we breathe

What do these things mean to me?

We search the stones and ancient ruins

for pieces of You

not knowing we are missing

pieces of ourselves.

You have left the plan for us to follow

but we look elsewhere

too blind to see - or maybe

too full of ourselves to care.

We look to the world to fill us

always longing for Your love

Never seeing its wonderful beauty

here within us if only we would feel.

We create patterns and cycles

too hard to break, too comfortable to change

like an old soft shoe - fine in the warmth of summer

but leaving us cold and aching in the lean times.

And You are there watching it all

creating the pattern for our lives

waiting for us to stop searching

and come home.

********** 

Do you remember the song "Lookin' for Love in All the Wrong Places"?  That could have been my theme song!  I can't believe the number of years I wasted while dabbling in New Age philosophies and the occult. 

I collected crystals - each one used for healing a different ailment or for keeping away certain "bad auras".  I had an entire library of books on the subject, polished stones, jewelry.  I frequented small, dark stores smelling of incense and seeming so mystical.  None of it worked.

I spent a year or so following the wiccan calendar with its bizarre rituals and prayers to the "Goddess".  I bought several supplies and even set up an altar in the spare bedroom.  However, I spent most of my time still searching.

Then I tried the "I'm OK, you're OK" route and decided that none of it mattered.  Everyone should do his own thing.  But I was still getting nowhere, endlessly searching the patterns of the world to find meaning in my life.

Then I turned to Jesus and all the pieces fell into place.

* * * * * * * * * *

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

            Romans 12:2 (NIV)

What patterns are you searching?  Where do you go to get the answers you are looking for?  As disciples of Christ, we should test everything against the authority of the Scriptures.  If it's not in the word of God, should it be a part of you?

Father, so many times we look to the world to solve our problems when You are the one with all the answers!  Please renew my mind with Your truth so that I no longer follow the patterns that lead to ruin, but Your plan that leads to everlasting life. 

© 2002

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Outside Myself

When I step outside myself,

I can finally see the real You

No longer blinded by my own insecurities

No longer shackled to my preconceived notions

I see a God who weeps with me

Who understands my fears

and whose heart is broken

every time I turn away

I see a God who delights

in sending blessings my way:

A baby's first smile, a little one's hug,

A glimpse of my Savior's heart.

I see a God who burns with anger

when injustice rules this world

Who longs to take all His children in His arms

and hold them tight

But here within my mind,

God is the Answer Man -

That smiling old man who answers my prayers

when I can find time to pray

Here within my heart,

I wonder if He's real

or if He's the embodiment of my hope

that there is more to life than this world

Here within my soul,

I know a God exists who loves me

but I keep Him in a box

all wrapped up with my perceptions

But when I step outside myself,

I see a God who is too complex to understand,

too powerful to comprehend and too much in love with me

to ignore.

I had spent the previous evening planning fun activities to do with my kids.  After all, it's not very often we get enough snow to play in here in Colorado Springs.

The day started off OK - just a few minor skirmishes between the kids.  I assumed the culprit was too much excitement.  But maybe Satan had another plan.

By the time all four of us were dressed and ready to go outside, I had given five time-outs, two spankings and numerous threats.  My stress level had risen as quickly as my voice.  Still, I thought I could handle it.

We played in the snow for fifteen minutes.  An hour's worth of time to get ready for such a short amount of play!  Oh, well.  There was cocoa and popcorn to make, and cuddling to do... I guessed I could deal with it.

Five minutes later, I was on the kitchen floor in tears.  The whole thing had become too much to bear.  The constant fighting, disobedience, backtalk, attitude...  I was fed up!  I'd had it.  I was turning in my "Mommy" resignation.  I had failed.

* * * * * * * * * *

Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim You, who walk in the light of your presence, O Lord.

            Psalm 89:15 (NIV)

Did you ever set your expectations too high?  Did you ever spend time planning your life down to the last detail - and forget to include the God who made you and who has a plan for your life?  The God who knows the number of your days (Psalm 139) and even the number of hairs on your head (Luke 12:7) knows what is best for you.  Next time you are planning something, why don't you invite Him in to help?  I'm sure He's got some great ideas!

Father, I invite You to come into my everyday life.  I need You to help me make decisions, to guide me and to protect me.  I submit to Your will for my life, Lord.  Show me the paths to take that will bring me closer to You.

© 2001

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Mary is My Name

You came into my life

when I needed You the most

Even though I didn’t know I was in need

You were gentle as a Lamb

And the song You gave to me

was the sweetest sound my soul has ever known

And now I’m kneeling at Your feet

As the world round me fades away

My focus is on You, and You alone

I don’t know why it is

I have this need to give

all I am and all I have to worship You

But as I empty this flask

I pour out my heart as well

and give to You the essence of myself

And now I’m kneeling at Your feet

As the world round me fades away

My focus is on You, and You alone

I can’t believe the grief –

When I thought that You were gone

and I didn’t realize what it all meant

I can’t believe this joy!

That You did it all for me

and I can be with You now forever

And now I’m kneeling at Your feet

As the world round me fades away

My focus is on You, and You alone

Baking day!  I was really looking forward to this.  Life had been hectic lately and there’s just a certain peace for me in mixing batter and kneading dough.  It’s a slow rhythm that settles me and restores balance to my life.

But wait a minute!  Oh, no.  I was missing a key ingredient.  I hadn’t had time to fill the pantry and honestly, in all the busyness, I hadn’t even noticed I’d run out.  Well, it couldn’t be helped.  There was no time now to stock up, so I forged ahead and tried to find a substitute. 

“This” would make it too sweet – with more empty calories I didn’t need.  “That” would puff it up too much  - a lot of hot air is not a good thing.  Maybe “the other thing” would work.  It was worth a try!  All of this experimenting was getting stressful.

Finally I settled into the steady rhythm of kneading.  I let my mind wander, and as I felt the stresses of life drift away some, I heard the Lord gently speaking to my heart.  I realized that what I needed had nothing to do with what I was kneading.  My problem wasn’t with missing ingredients in making my bread for dinner.  It was missing ingredients in my partaking of the Bread of Life!

I had been so busy that I was running on spiritual “empty”.  I hadn’t taken the time to fill my soul with the Living Word of God.  The sad thing was, I hadn’t even noticed I’d run out.  I was filling my days with substitutes, leaving me empty and puffed up with myself.  Oh, I know the “other things” were good – committee meetings, civic projects and all the other busywork are commendable – but I was missing out on that which was best.  Nothing compares to a growing relationship with Jesus Christ.  Nothing.

* * * * * * * * * *

You are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.

            Luke 10:41-42 (NIV)

How often do you become so busy that you have to squeeze in time with the Lord – or miss it altogether?  Even if the things that consume our energy and time are good things, they are of no eternal value if they distract us from worshipping our Lord.  Sitting at His feet, worshipping His Name, learning from His example will fill us up and give us the best that life offers.  This life – and the next.

Father, help me to keep You in focus as the center of my life.  May I not be so distracted by all I need to do that I forget to be who You made me to be.  Teach me to reach for the best that You have to offer, and to release my hold on the good things that I’ve grasped without consulting You.  Holy Spirit, fill me with the knowledge of the Truth.

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What I am doing right now, this minute - does it matter?  Or am I building my castle on the sand??

I want my life to COUNT.  I want to steer my dc towards the King.  I want to help prepare the ground of their hearts and sow the Seed of Salvation.  Am I doing that? 

HOW can I stay out of the muck and remain in the arms of the One who set me on the Rock?  It seems I don't just get dragged back in, or slip in... most of the time it feels like I turn my back and DIVE in.  *sigh*

In the day to day of living with and serving my family, how do I keep the eternal in view? 

What is that saying?  "If you aim at nothing, you'll be sure to hit it."  WHAT am I aiming at, if anything???

Sorry, talking to myself again and taking you all along for the ride.  *sheepish grin*

Peace to you (and me),

Katie

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Letter to the Father

Dear God

I love You

and I long to obey Your commands

Stand firm!  Walk the path!  Run the race!

But under my own power I am destined to fail

Dear God

I worship You

and I will praise You all my days

Give thanks!  Honor!  Glory!

But the world seeps in and I fail

Dear God

I fear You

and in reverence and awe I will follow You

Deny yourself!  Take up your cross!  Follow me!

But after a short time, I am distracted and I fail

But then I see,

clearly, as if You are right in front of me,

that You never meant for me to try

It is not my will, but Yours that can save me

Dear God

I submit to You

and I will surrender all

Shape me!  Change me!  Use me!

and by Your Spirit I will prevail.

********** 

I used to feel that my spiritual life was run on batteries.  Oh, not the typical disposable ones, but the heavy-duty rechargables.  Let me explain.

Every few years you hear a really inspiring sermon.  The kind that makes you recommit your life to God.  You repent of your sins and you ask the Lord to direct your path.  You keep your positive outlook for a while, but then it seems to fade, as if you're losing power.

So you dust off your Bible and thumb through it looking for ... something.  Ah!  Suddenly, a verse practically jumps out at you, as if it was written especially for you.  You meditate on it, really soak it in.  All of a sudden your zeal has returned and you feel that same wonderful joy!  Your batteries have been recharged!

Time passes.  You get caught up in the daily routine.  Maybe an unexpected crisis comes up.  It happens slowly, but once again you're feeling drained and disconnected.  There has got to be a better way!

My friend, there is!  Throw those batteries away and plug your life in to the one true God.  Make the commitment to spend quiet time with the Lord on a daily basis.  Meditate on the scriptures, pray, fellowship with other believers.  Connect yourself to the one Source of power that will never fade - and watch your life shine!

* * * * * * * * * *

Pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

            1 Thessalonians 5:17, 18 (NKJV)

Some people avoid buying AC adapters for their electronic devices, thinking the cost is too high.  Likewise, there is a cost to following Jesus.  It will certainly cost you time and effort, maybe more.  But isn't it worth it to have a continual current of love and guidance flowing between you and your Creator?  I'm throwing out my batteries.  What are you running on?

Father, I no longer want a "temporary fix".  I need to stay connected to You throughout my day.  It is by Your power and Spirit that I will reach my  potential and be fulfilled.  Soften my heart and melt my will that I may become truly Yours.

© 2002

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Change is for Cowards

You are the potter

I am merely the clay

At the touch of Your hand,

I warm and come alive

But that is not Your intention

This world says change is hard

but that is not Your truth

Change is a product of our own design

Being remade - allowing ourselves to be molded-

That is the challenge

And so You wait

Until I am ready to give up

my plans for myself

my dreams, my vision of who I will become

and You make me what I was born to be

**********

Have you ever thought of what it must be like to be God?  I mean no disrespect here, but for those of us who have children, the comparison is almost inevitable.  We are given a life to mold, to nurture.  The goal is to shape this little person into a vessel capable of receiving, holding and pouring out God's love. 

It's not always an easy process.  Our sinful nature resists any attempt to be remade, even by a loving, skillful hand.  It's often frustrating, but the rewards are eternal.

In God's hands, we are the little people who need to be remodeled.  It's not always easy from this perspective either!  It is especially difficult when we become so caught up in shaping our children that we forget we are still a "work in progress" ourselves.  I think if we can just slow down enough to see both sides of this loving equation, it will make the process much simpler!

* * * * * * * * * *

Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul.

            Psalm 131:2 (NKJV)

Do you take time to reflect on the changes God is making in you?  How often do you remember that you are a "work in progress"?  It is not in our nature to look at ourselves objectively.  We'd much rather look at the faults in others and ask God to change them.  When was the last time you asked God to change you?

Father, please slow me down and show me the importance of spending quiet time with you.  Impress upon my heart the desire to be molded by Your masterful touch.  Quiet my soul and teach me to be still before You that Your will may be worked in my life.

© 2001

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BALANCE.

Spiritual balance.  It seems that any church home we find is solidly in the grace camp (where there are no consequences) or the legalistic camp (where everything is the believer's fault and guilt abounds).

Grace is a beautiful thing.  God's laws are wonderful.  Why is it so hard to find a point of balance?

I have a friend who's dh is to all appearances dying of cancer.  Soon.  Half my friends chalk it up to living in a fallen world - bad things happen to good people and all that.  His time to go, you know.  The other half are stunned that a man of such faith could possibly succumb to this terrible disease since it is obviously not in the will of God for a Godly man to die such a death.

HUH?

I remember much of the same scenario when MY dh had cancer.  Twice.  The same 18 mos that I had several miscarriages and an emergency appendectomy.  We were told by some that it was OUR fault - because of choices we had made and obviously God was not pleased with those choices.  We just needed to repent - of something that was not sin, mind you, but a sincere attempt to follow Scriptural principles.

Conversely, we were told that God NEVER sends suffering and that we just needed to have more faith since we were so clearly lacking.  Uh, yeah, that was helpful!

I'm still confused.

I feel like I'm drifting.  No, I feel like I'm treading in water up to my eyeballs.  I feel so spiritually out of tune and out of focus. 

So if my posts aren't very gripping or "meaty" for awhile, maybe you'll understand. 

Peace,

Katie

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Becoming

I hear Your call

deep within my soul,

touching me in ways I never imagined

It is powerful,

too compelling to resist

and I run towards the sound of Your voice

You come for me,

arms outstretched

and I surrender and fall into You

Surrender is sweet

Submission is bliss

as I abandon myself and follow You

How can I describe the joy

of living in You?

It leaves me in awe of Your love

You captivate my soul

as You penetrate my mind

holding me forever in Your will

********** 

The kids and I were so excited - we were going to have a garden!  Granted, it would have to be small to fit on the apartment balcony, but we were going to grow peas, radishes, tomatoes, peppers.  We knew nothing about growing things, other than the basics - give them rich soil, water and sunlight .

Things didn't start well.  We couldn't afford the best soil so we settled for a cheaper type.  Well, I figured soil was soil, right?  Then things got hectic and we forgot to water once.  OK, maybe more than once.  We did water when it looked like the plants really needed it!  I also remember that year we had much less sun than usual.  The poor things didn't have a chance.

I was so excited - I had invited Jesus into my heart!  Granted, I was giving Him access to only a part of my life, but I was going to have peace, joy, grace, patience.  I knew nothing about growing in Christ, other than the basics - study the Word, pray and meditate.

Things didn't start well.  I didn't want to spend time reading the Bible so I just listened to the Sunday sermon.  After all, God's Word is God's Word, right?  Then things got hectic and I didn't have time to pray.  I did ask God for favors when I really needed them!  I also remember complaining that I didn't know how to meditate.  I didn't have a chance.

* * * * * * * * * *

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.

Deuteronomy 6:5 (NKJV)

I remember watching mature Christians and wanting what they had, a deep, intimate relationship with Jesus.  I never thought about the time and effort they spent.  I just figured that once I asked Him into my heart, things would change instantly.  I was never more wrong.

Do you crave more intimacy with the Lord?  How much time do you spend earnestly seeking Him?  Don't fall into the trap of complacency!  A relationship with Jesus is so much more than we can imagine - if only we would make Him our priority!

Father, I pray that You would give me a hunger for You and Your Word.  Jesus, open my heart that I may receive all the blessings You have for me.  Show me how to truly seek intimacy with You.

© 2001

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Illusion of Tomorrow

"Mommy, read this book to me!"

the blue-eyed boy had said

"Not now, honey.  I'll read tomorrow.

It's almost time for bed."

"Mommy, please come cuddle me!"

The girl said with a smile

"Not now, sweetie, Mommy's busy.

I'll be there in a while."

Words like these, spoken with

assurance of tomorrow

come back now to trouble me

and fill my heart with sorrow.

For the boy is grown and on his own,

The girl has moved away.

Why did I put off till tomorrow

what I could have done that day?

"Heal me, Lord!", the people asked

and did He tell them, "No.

I have too much I need to do

and now it's time to go."?

"Teach me, Lord", they said to Him

and did He say, "Not now!

I need to do this for myself

You'll figure it out somehow!"?

"Love us, Lord!  Spend time with us!",

the  people often cried.

Did He answer, "I can't just now."

before He went to die?

Do you often wait to do

the things your children ask

Thinking you have lots of time,

but, Oh! It goes so fast!

Before too long, the days are gone -

we never know just when.

Don't end your life with the haunting thought,

"I should have done it then."

* * * * * * * * * *

I couldn't wait to get the pictures back from the developer!  One of my favorite parts of a vacation is to relive it through the photographs that were taken.  They help to preserve the memories and give you time to reflect on the details of the trip.

I was so excited when I got them.  I didn't even make it home, but tore open the envelope in the car.  Look!  Here we are at the airport!  But wait...all these pictures are fuzzy.  I can't make out anything!

Nothing.  Not one good photo in the whole roll.  Every shot is blurry and hard to make out.  In the excitement of experiencing the moment, I forgot to...focus.

* * * * * * * * * *

Turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things, and revive me in Your way.

            Psalm 119:37 (NKJV)

Do you ever get so caught up in the moment that you lose your focus on God?  Our walk with Jesus is often hindered by the demands of others.  We tend to put our relationships with people before our relationship with God.  If we would just reverse this process, simply change our focus, God would put the pieces of our lives in the right order.

Do you feel you are juggling too many of this world's colored balls?  Ask God to change your focus.  Then happily toss a few to Him.

Father, I struggle with setting priorities in my life.  My focus so often shifts from You to less important things.  Help me to keep my eyes on You and the work You have for me.  Teach me to say, "No" to more commitments and "Yes" to the things that really matter.

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He is RISEN!!!

Searching for Messiah

I heard about this man today

My neighbor had seen him teach

It seems he said the most amazing things!

That we are blessed when we mourn and

it is blessed to be meek!

I wonder what this means?

Sowing has kept me busy

But I heard his name again - Jesus

A carpenter's son from Nazareth

My brother told me he healed that old blind man

on the road from Jericho

Could anything good come from Nazareth?

The village is bursting with the news!

The King has come - Messiah!

It's that Jesus of Nazareth

He's entered Jerusalem with singing and praise!

I must go see this man

I wonder how long till Rome falls?

The city is crowded, preparing for the Feast

I search in vain for the Master

But word of him is everywhere!

Talk is, he caused an uproar at the Temple

then threatened to destroy it - and raise it again in three days!

Is nothing beyond him?

A crowd is forming outside the city

People are jeering, some weeping, others hiding

but compelled to watch

I can't see...I'm not sure...I don't...I don't understand

They tell me it's Jesus up there on the cross

but why would a king come to die?

It's over now, the crowd is gone

Before it was done, the sky blackened and the people scattered

But I stayed to watch.  I had come so far to see this man

never dreaming I would find him here, in this place.

At his passing, the earth shook and it seemed the heavens mourned

Who was he?  Will I ever know?

**********

Finally!  The suede crop jacket was mine!  I turned in front of the mirror, looking at myself from every angle.  I had waited so long for this day.  Do you know how many fifty-cent tips it takes to buy an $80 jacket?

Mum thought it was silly. 

"Why would you want a coat that leaves you cold?" she asked, twenty times at least.

Why?  Because every girl in the "in" crowd had one!  Now after several months of saving and waiting, I had one, too!

I stepped off the bus in front of the school.  I was in luck - there they were!  The whole group of the coolest girls in school.  I strutted a bit to show off the jacket. 

"Nice jacket!" Andrea smirked. 

They all giggled. 

"Those aren't in style anymore", she said, "We stopped wearing those weeks ago!"

* * * * * * * * * *

When the multitudes heard it, they followed Him on foot from the cities.

            Matthew 14:13 (NKJV)

Did you ever want to be part of the "in" crowd?  Was there ever a time that some great event was happening and you just had to be a part of it?  Even on the fringes in some small way?

The greatest event in history will happen someday - perhaps soon.  Jesus will return to collect His own and to reign forever.  Will you be there?  Or will you be just a bit behind the times?

Father, help me to sense the urgency of the times.  Show me new ways to commit myself to following You, Jesus.  Guide me in the decisions I make this day that they may bring me closer to You.

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The Art of Perfection

Take it, Lord!

I desperately cried

I’m tired of living this life of sin

I want to throw open

All the doors of my heart

And let the light of Your love pour in

But something is holding me back…

“Have patience, my child”,

the Lord whispered to me,

“I’m perfecting you now in My time

Too much light all at once

After years in the dark

And the eyes of your soul would be blind.”

I can taste

And see what it’s like

To give You control of my life

And I can’t wait to give You

The ugliness there

The anger & envy & strife

But some of it still remains…

“Have patience, dear one”,

the Lord murmured to me,

“I’ve a plan for your life –

Wait and see

Too much change all at once,

You’d be full of yourself

And I want you to glorify Me”.

So I press on toward the goal,

Somewhat steadier now

As I learn that perfection takes time

It’s a journey of patience,

Perseverance and trust

As I walk with the Lord’s hand in mine

Letting Him work in His time.

**********

My children are playing the “waiting game”.  They have been studying about seeds in school so we planted a windowsill garden.  Now, although they think they should have sprouted yesterday, we will wait for the miracle of growth.  The waiting game.  They don’t like it and they are not very good at it.

The oldest seems to have the most patience and just checks once a day; the youngest every 20 minutes.  Fourteen times today the four of them have asked if they can water the pots of already moist dirt.  They feel like they should do something to help the process along.  They are getting frustrated and bored.

I start to chuckle, but then I am reminded of our walk with the Lord.  Most of us are not very good at the waiting game either.  We pester Him and check on His progress with our lives.  We want answers to our prayers yesterday and often feel like we should do something to help Him along!  But many times, the growth and change that we are seeking happens while we wait.

So often in Scripture, we are told to wait, rest and be still.  It is not something we like, nor are we very good at it.  We can easily become frustrated and bored if we are immature in our expectations.  The older we get as Christians, however, the easier it becomes as we learn that the things of God happen in His time.  They cannot be rushed and are often all the better for having taken a little longer than we had expected.

For me, it is one of the most difficult lessons I’ve faced.  Wanting it now is closely related to wanting it my way.  Learning to give up control and dying to myself is an ongoing struggle.  But just as my children are learning that growing cannot be rushed, I am learning that changing takes time.  And most of the work is done – not by me, but by God.  It’s all part of the waiting game.

* * * * * * * * *

The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.

Lamentations 3:24

Waiting does not come easily to most of us, but patience is the evidence of the Spirit of God working in our lives.  This fruit, like the fruit of the garden, is best cultivated by allowing God to work in His time.  We need to stop trying so hard to grow so fast that we miss the lessons that come only with time.

Father, You are the Master Gardener.  Only You know when ideas are ready to sprout in the fertile ground of my mind.  Only You can see ahead to the time when Your plans are ripe for my life.  Help me to see You as my portion, Lord, and to learn to enjoy the waiting game.

© 2003

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Light in the Darkness                     

I stumble through the darkness

Never knowing where to turn

I seldom even realize I'm living without Your Light

But then I see -

the smile of a child,

the healing of a man,

the laughter of friends,

And I recognize these shadows around me for what they are...

distractions of this world, clouding my eyes, dulling my senses,

closing my heart to Your touch

But this revelation of Your Light is only temporary

I find myself in darkness once again

living life as though I am blind

I don't know where to go,

I don't know what to do

But I know Your love for me

It's written on the tablet of my heart.

********** 

Why do we sometimes prefer to stay in the dark?  Why do we consciously turn toward sin and away from the goodness of God?

I was driving down the highway this overcast morning on my way to church.  Maybe I was searching for a bit of light!  All of a sudden, the sun began to shine through the clouds.  It was so bright after the gloom of the past rainy week, I squinted and turned away.  After awhile, I got used to the growing brightness and it warmed me.

Hmmm.  It made me think about my walk with God. 

I was driving down the highway of life on my way to eternity.  Maybe I was searching for a bit of Light.  All of a sudden, the Son began to shine through the shadows.  He was so bright after the gloom of my past, I squinted and turned away.  After awhile, I got used to the growing brightness and it warmed me.

* * * * * * * * * *

"I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness."

            John 12:46 (NIV)

Sometimes we become so used to the darkness that we shun the Light.  It seems too bright, too intense, too good to be true.  We'd prefer to stay in the relative comfort of the darkness around us than to walk into the revealing heat of the Light.  But Jesus did not come to condemn us, He came to light the way to the Father. 

Are you still in the dark?  Then let the Son shine in!

Father, You are so different from this world!  It is easy to recognize You, but Your light is so bright that at times I fear that radiance.  Help me to shed these shadows and walk with You in love, hope and peace.

© 2002

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Healing a Wounded Heart              

Can I talk to You?

Or will You turn away

Too concerned with

what You have to say?

Can I come to You

and share my deepest fears?

Or will You laugh at me

and leave me lost in tears?

Can I confide in You

and tell You all my dreams?

Or will You take those hopes

and rip apart the seams?

I've been let down so many times

In so many different ways

The trust it took so long to build -

destroyed in a few short days

Are You who You claim to be

or are You just a fraud?

Do I dare to claim You as my Friend,

my Savior and my God?

"Trust in Me -

I'll take away your pain.

I can heal your wounded heart

and make you whole again.

My child, I love you

more than you understand.

I'll take care of you

if you'll but take My hand."

As if in a dream,

I'm starting to believe

And His love is more

than I dared conceive

He'll never leave me,

He's my trusted friend

Alpha, Omega,

the Beginning and the End

As I set off on this journey,

Jesus beside me still,

I am secure in His love,

His passion and His will.

* * * * * * * * * *

After I decided to give my life to Christ, I still had problems with letting go.  I used to think it was a control issue, something I struggle with a lot.  But I came to realize that I trust the Lord completely.  I really wanted to give it up!  So what was holding me back?

I got a vision of myself with a crystal globe in my hands.  It is extremely precious and fragile, and I'm handing it to a smiling Jesus.  It is my heart, my soul, my very self.  But I hesitate... What if I drop it?  Ahhhh!  There's the problem!  I know He'll take care of me, but I'm afraid I'll fumble in the transition. 

Sometimes, we get so caught up in our own faults that we forget that God's grace will cover everything.  Even if I were to fail and my thoughts, dreams and image of myself were shattered, God would be able to pick up the pieces and make something beautiful. 

* * * * * * * * * *

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.

            2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

Are you sometimes so afraid of failure that you become too paralyzed to even try?  "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."  (2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV).  Use the gifts and grace that the Lord has given you to take a chance and let go!

Father, there are still so many things that I fail to understand.  Please give me the wisdom and knowledge to fully accept the gifts that are already mine in Christ.  Help me to give all of myself to You in humble service.

©2003

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Though you wouldn't know it HERE today - blizzard conditions this morning!

Spring's Symphony

Raindrops from Heaven

falling swiftly through the spring breeze

Tapping staccato notes on the rooftops -

such a melancholy sound

It seems as if the clouds are weeping,

as if the world is in mourning -

But the rains magically produce a season

not of sorrow, but of joy!

Glorious blossoms burst through

the softened earth

The buds on branch tips create

the emerald haze of new life

Robins happily announce their return,

drowning out the tune of the dwindling rain

Everywhere, a symphony of sound

replaces winter's cold silence

Droplets of the water of life

glisten on the new green grass

as the sun makes its appearance

through nature's tears

Tears shed for the promise of renewal,

the joy of rebirth

and the wonder of God's glory.

Rejoice with the earth!

Spring is here!

© 2002

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From Where I Sit    

Shackled, deserted,

bound in the chains of a past

I did not orchestrate,

one I wish I did not own

Tied down, defeated,

ropes of memories holding me fast,

clouding my eyes in the present,

blinding my vision of the future

And who will rescue me?

Is there anyone who will brave

the dungeon of my soul,

willing to set me free?

I have heard of a man,

even here in the depths of my despair,

One they call the Son of God

But why would He come for me here?

I have nothing to give,

Nothing but an empty heart

and a mind numbed with pain,

tortured with regrets

But they say He knows my pain,

That He loves me so much

He died for me

and lives again to set me free

This mystery is too deep for me

and I glance down again at my chains,

shining now

with a glimmer of hope.

 **********

In my mind’s eye, I see a lone figure staggering through the wilderness.  Wandering as if without purpose, often stumbling and stopping short as if some unseen obstacle blocks the way.  I watch from a distance as the figure becomes more frustrated at the lack of progress. 

A voice whispers, “This is you, Katie.”

Like a spring, the power and fury of past hurt and resentment bubbles up from the bottom of my soul.  I am almost overwhelmed by the intensity of emotion, which I thought had been buried for good. 

I become more and more angry as I watch myself continue through the barren wilderness, lost without guidance.  Just before I slip into the despair born of hopelessness, the vision shifts.  It is as if a camera is pulling back from the scene and I am struck by the beauty of this new perspective.

I am not alone, and the invisible walls that make me stop and stumble are not put there to hinder my progress.  They are instead the very hands of the One who created me and loves me so tenderly that He gave up everything so we could be together.  It is these Divine hands that cradle me, support and guide me as I wander through the barren places in my life.  Without them, there is no hope.  Without Him, there is no life.

* * * * * * * * *

For the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.

      Deuteronomy 31:6b

No matter where you are, no matter what you have been through, the Lord is waiting to carry you on.  God sees all, He knows all and He can heal all.  Pick up the pieces of your life, however ugly they may seem to you, and faithfully place them at the foot of the cross.  Then rest in the hands of the living God who can make all things new.

Father, so much has happened to make me the way I am.  So much pain and sorrow from things in my past keep me from trusting You.  Teach me to step out in faith!  Open my eyes so that I might see the “big picture” of all You have for me.  Pour out Your love that I may find my worth in Your eyes.

© 2003

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In the Shadow of His Wing

Rest here in the shadow of My wing

Rest here in the hollow of My hand

I've made a place for you to lay your burden down

Rest here for I am in command

Night has come, the day has passed

There is so much left to do

Too much on my mind to pray

God says, "I'll take it all from you."

O, harsh words, spoken without thought

I have to make amends

I know I've let You down today

Please, God, take me back again

Rest here in the shadow of My wing

Rest here in the hollow of My hand

I've made a place for you to lay your burden down

Rest here for I am in command

Jesus, You've lifted me

and upon Your rock I stand           

Thank You for giving me Your light

I know I'm resting in Your hand

* * * * * * * * * *

You know, life doesn't always turn out the way we hope or expect.  Very often, God's plan is much bigger and His vision much broader than ours.

After our second child was born, Mark and I decided that we were done planning our family.  We had a son and a daughter.  Since "they only come in two kinds", we felt fortunate to have gotten one of each.  I had had complications with the delivery, we were both from small families and we were struggling financially.  We gave away all of our baby clothes and toys.  We were certain that we would remain a family of four. 

When Megan was about eight months old, I got the familiar "baby cravings", but I dismissed them.  I really felt they would go away!  After a month or so, I realized that God was telling me to have another child.  After some convincing and a lot of prayer, Mark agreed. 

Two years and two days after Megan came into the world, God blessed us with Emily.  From the start, she has been the sweetest, most compliant child!

God continues His blessings.  Friends came together and threw not one, but three baby showers!  Others brought meals after she was born.  It taught us to rely on God's provision and grace.  Our family has been touched in so many ways by following the will of the Lord.

* * * * * * * * * *

Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him.

            Psalm 37:7  (NKJV)

We are so insistent on having our own way that we too often become impatient with God.  But God's Word says, "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength." (Isaiah 30:15 NIV, emphasis mine).  Are you struggling with receiving God's will for your life?  Take the time to go to Him and rest.

Father, this world keeps us so busy.  Our surroundings convince us to do! go! fix! change!  But You remind us to trust and rest.  Lord, I know that You are in control.  Still my heart and give me peace.

© 2001

Peace,

Katie

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In dealing with dh I mean.

I Corinthians 13:4-8 says:

4LOVE IS PATIENT, (oops, I could use some help here, Lord!)

LOVE IS KIND. (ummmm - 4 out of 5??  Does it count when I'm better than I used to be?)

IT DOES NOT ENVY, (whew! got this one - uh, mostly.  I do get a bit cranky when he gets to do something fun and I don't.)

IT DOES NOT BOAST, (ok, no boasting.  Yep!  Uh-huh!  OH, except when he comes home and we compare "bad" days and I try to outdo his to gain sympathy.  Oh, ick.)

IT IS NOT PROUD. (honestly not too bad here.  I tend to apologize first and have been working on serving him more - Yeay!  I needed that boost!)

5IT IS NOT RUDE, (worked on this one for years.  After seeing dh through cancer/chemo, I have NO desire to be rude to him!)

IT IS NOT SELF-SEEKING, (it feels good to put his interests above my own - most of the time)

IT IS NOT EASILY ANGERED, (good with dh.  With the DC however...)

IT KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS. (I dropped THAT baggage in the first 5 years.  Life is just too short)

6LOVE DOES NOT DELIGHT IN EVIL BUT REJOICES WITH THE TRUTH. (yeah, I can say that)

7IT ALWAYS PROTECTS, (I do NOT join in hubby-bashing sessions, even remotely)

ALWAYS TRUSTS, (no.  How sad.  Poor dh, I'll be working on this one!)

ALWAYS HOPES, (as best I can)

ALWAYS PERSEVERES. (going on 17 years and still strong!)

 8LOVE NEVER FAILS. (ditto)

So, how did YOU do??? (BTW, I'm not your conscience - you don't have to answer here, just think on it and pray about it!)

Peace to you,

Katie

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Every Breath I Take

I can feel your Presence with me

I know your Spirit is in me

Though I can't touch You, Lord

I know You're here.

I can see You in the sunrise

I can feel You in the warm wind

You are my guiding Light, Lord

How I long for You.

I know You've changed my life, Lord

I know You've healed my heart, God

I thank You every morning

with each breath I take.

I can hear the crowd demanding

I can see the crosses rising

I wish that I could help You, Lord

but You died for me.

How could You die for me, Jesus?

You died to set me free

I sit in awe and childlike wonder

of the life You gave for me.

**********

I never realized the true meaning of Christ dwelling within us until I was in labor with my third child.  For the first time, I was truly focused on God and not on my own pain and fears.  I meditated on Scripture, sang hymns and inspirational songs and prayed to the God of the universe who stayed with me the whole time.

During my prolonged transitional phase of labor - the most difficult part - I asked my husband to recite the Twenty-third Psalm with me.  I actually felt Jesus there in the room comforting me, encouraging me, helping me stay focused on the job I had to do.

Would I have gotten through labor and delivery without Him?  I'm sure, but why would I when "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"(Philippians 4:13 NKJV)?

* * * * * * * * * *

I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.

            Galatians 2:20b (NIV)

Was there a time in your life when you felt the presence of God?  Do you ever wonder why you can't feel Him more often?

God changes our hearts, but it's up to us to change our minds.  If we are focusing our thoughts elsewhere, we will not feel His presence in our lives.  To feel God, we need to know God and to know Him we need to be always thinking of Him.  Pray to Him, sing to Him, talk to Him, love Him. 

God is always here.  Are you?

Father, I thank You for your Holy Spirit, which is always here within me.  Help me to tap into that power by staying focused on You.  Show me how to "take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV) so that I may always be aware of Your presence in my life.

© 2001

Peace to you,

Katie

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Breakthrough!

You struggle to find the answers

You struggle to gain fame

It seems your days are spent

in endless circles of seeking.

Then all of a sudden - Breakthrough!

God reveals a mystery

You begin to understand

and the things that you've been striving for

seem so unimportant now.

You're lost inside your daily life -

You cannot comprehend

all the great plans He has in store for you

until you lay aside your dreams

Then all of a sudden - Breakthrough!

Your eyes are opened wide

It's amazing what you see now

when you're focused on the One

who gives meaning and purpose to your life.

You're caught up in your sorrows

You forget to share your joys

But He's waiting there; calling for you

to come home to Him and trust Him with your life

Then all of a sudden - Breakthrough!

You surrender your will to Him

and He takes the pieces of your life

and weaves a complex tapestry, beautiful to behold,

more beautiful to live!

Break through!

********** 

Hindsight.  What a wonderful tool for learning God has given us!  We often complain that we wish we had seen what was happening, but I think God gives us as much as we can handle at any given time.

When we were planning our wedding, I insisted on a "church wedding" even though I had never gone to church.  Most of my family could not understand why, and truth be known, I wasn't too sure myself.  I only knew that it had to be.

As the date for the wedding grew closer and the stress of planning it mounted, I was often tempted to abandon the whole thing and elope!  But somehow, I never did.

A few years later, our marriage was in trouble and I had to make a decision.  That decision was ultimately based on the fact that I had sworn before God, in His church, to stay with Mark for the rest of my life.

It wasn't until many years later that I realized - God was with me in the planning stages of my wedding, urging me to marry in a church, because He knew I would need to fall back on that (Him) someday.  Pretty amazing, isn't it?

* * * * * * * * * *

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

            Jeremiah 29:11(NIV)

Does it ever seem like you make decisions for reasons you cannot define?  Do you find yourself looking back to see that God was always there helping you to get to this point in your life?

God has a plan for every one of us.  His guiding hand is often leading us, even when we are unaware.  Will you trust Him with your life today?

Father, I am so thankful that You can see the whole picture of my life.  Please help me to make decisions as I go through my day.  Guide my steps so that I may fulfill Your perfect plan for me.

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Dh and I will celebrate our 17th wedding anniversary this year.  It took me 16 years to realize that marriage is NOT 50/50 as I'd been taught.  It's 120+/whatever.

The world will tell you to look out for yourself.  Jesus says to love our neighbor as yourself.  (I don't think I have any closer neighbor than dh - we share a room, ya know!)

The world will tell you if it feels good, do it.  Jesus says to take up our cross daily and follow Him.

The world will tell you when it stops feeling good, look somewhere else!  The Word tells us that love is patient, kind & not self-seeking.  Or easily angered. (ouch)

The world SCREAMS at us to treat others the way the have treated you - get them back, withdraw, be selfish...  Jesus whispers that we should do to others what we what them to do to us - forgive them, pray for them, serve them.

Some days are bad days here.  Diapers are dirty, dc are whiney, messes are made.  Most days, I have every worldly right & reason NOT to serve dh when he comes in the door.  But this house is a place of refuge for dh from the world.  A place to relax, a place to be filled up with love, a place to return the conquering hero - even if it seems he did nothing heroic most days.  Just surviving out there in the world, which SCREAMS at him to cheat a client, cheat on his wife, tell off his boss, flip off another driver - just going out there day after day - is heroic.

I am not downplaying MY heroic (and often seeming herculean) task of raising these 6 dc to love the Lord & each other, and to honor Mark & me.  But it's not about me.  Every time I get off my duff & put dh first - whether it's making a nice dinner, having his coffee ready when he comes in, laying out his clothes, or just holding my tongue (just?  I think that's the hardest one!!) I am pleasing my Lord.  And the more I give, the more I am filled, not depleted & emptied as the world says.

Sorry this is rambly.  I've been interrupted several times by dc needing my attention.  And since they are my calling - I'll push "Add Entry" before I edit.  

Put your dh first.  Give 120%.  Do what's right, not what feels good.  Because following the Lord's whispered plan is the ONLY way to truly feel good.

Peace to you,

Katie

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For Bug, Butterfly, Bunny, Bee, Bear & Kitty - I love you!

The Quiet Things

I'm longing for Your presence, Lord

I need to talk with You today

There is so much going on with my life

I need You to tell me what to do

I'm waiting here for You to soar down like an eagle

and solve all my problems

I'm searching for Your holy wrath

to avenge my perceived wrongs

Where are You, Lord?

I'm crying out so loudly

that I miss the still, small voice,

the gentle whisper in my soul

I eagerly scan the heavens

watching for Your arrival

Coming down with trumpets and glory,

A host of angels boldly announcing Your return

But all I see are the wispy clouds,

a few birds on the wing

I see no sign of You

Where have You gone?

Oh, Lord!  I am so caught up

in waiting for Your fireworks,

I'm missing the fire of Your works

The gentle assurance that You are everywhere

Father, let my prayers this day reflect

not the urgency of unanswered questions

but the peace that comes from

quieting my soul and resting in Your love.

*********

A fistful of wilted dandelions.  A bear hug with a sticky, strawberry jam kiss.  A handprint traced with purple crayon on a homemade card.  Gifts only a mother's heart could truly appreciate.  It is her overwhelming love for her children that allows her to see a beautiful bouquet, a spontaneous display of affection, a colorful masterpiece - what they are in the eyes of the giver.

God gives us gifts, too.  But like the dandelions, sometimes the gift seems second rate:  a promotion that falls through, a relationship turned sour.  Like the sticky kisses, sometimes the gift is an aggravation:  closed doors, missed opportunities.  And like the homemade card, the gift can be so simple, we fail to really treasure it:  good health, a loving family.

We need to be familiar with our heavenly Father in order to fully appreciate the gifts He gives us.  We need to understand the staggering depth of His love for us in order to accept His gifts at their true value.  If we know how much He cares, than we can look beyond the initial disappointment into the heart of the Giver.  God has our best interests in mind.  If we trust in Him, we will see the beauty of His blessings.

* * * * * * * * * *

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God.

            Romans 8:28 (NKJV)

Have you ever lost something, only to have God replace it with something better?  Have you ever asked Him for an answer to prayer and gotten much more than you ever imagined?

Sometimes we are so focused on our idea of what our life should be that we miss the blessings that God sends our way.  Don't limit your vision of what God can do.  Receive each day as the gift that it is and bask in the love of the Lord!

Father, sometimes I fail to recognize the gifts you've given me.  Forgive me when I underestimate Your divine love and guidance.  Help me to see that closed doors and missed opportunities are usually gateways to bigger and better things.  Teach me to trust in You.

© 2002

Peace to you,

Katie

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How Big is Your God?

How big is your God?

Is He bigger than your fears?

Larger than the enemies

You’ve dragged on through the years?

My God is bigger than my past,

Greater than all the ghosts I’ve kept

He’s held me through the memories

As I’ve cried and healed and wept

How big is your God?

Can you keep Him in a box?

Do you spend your days creating

more ingenious locks?

My God is bigger than my present,

More tremendous than any strife-

He guides my every footfall

and keeps me on the path of Life

How big is your God?

Is He bigger than your dreams?

Can you count on Him to lead you

no matter how intense it seems?

My God is bigger than my future,

In fact, He holds it in His hand

And I trust Him and His plans for me

Even when I cannot understand

When you see that God is all there is

Then you’ll begin to really live

Knowing that He’s big enough

To give all there is to give.

 **********

Yesterday in his sermon, my pastor said something that made me sit up and really take notice.  He said it always bothers him when he asks a brother or sister how they are and they reply, “Well, I’m fine under the circumstances.”  He’d like to respond, “As a Christian, what are you doing under there?”  Good question!

Recently in our family, we went through a two-year period of heartache, medical procedures – including unexpected surgeries – and a series of betrayals by close friends.  I admit that for a while, I was UNDER – under the circumstances, under the weather, under pressure, under siege.  Under the impression that I had offended God.  Where do we get these destructive ideas, anyway?

What I learned through it all is that growth hurts.  Change is hard.  And dying to self takes a lot of time, effort and grief.  Following after the Lord and Master is not easy.  “He must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me.”  (Luke 9:23, NASB)  But we can only do it in His strength. 

This changing, this refining, this perfecting – it is, after all, what we’re here for; but we do not need to go through this process alone, confused and afraid.  We can do it with joy – under the loving Hand of God.  Yes, there is joy in knowing that the Lord has given us victory:  victory over sin, over the enemy, over our lives, even over death.   With the Lord on our side, we always come out on top.  Count on it.

**********

But thanks be to God!  He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Romans 15:57 (NIV)

What has got you down?  Whatever the circumstances in your life at this moment, you do not need to remain under their influence.  You cannot remain there, for the Lord has already won.  Isn’t it great to be on His team?

Lord, I let so much in this life get to me.  I act like a victim instead of the victor that I am, and most of the time I don’t even realize it!  Please make me aware of the power that I have in Your name.  Give me the joy that comes from following You.

© 2004

Peace, 

Katie 

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I'm sorry, I've been too distracted to write much.  Six dc, who have all been some degree of "sick" this week, with 3 different curric., plus extra studies we're interested in, a dh who works a lot, baby teething, brain therapy, keeping up with my Bible reading, not feeling well myself... Life is CRAZY here!

I'm praying about priorities, and what the Lord wants me to get done.  I feel like a LOT of January was wasted time.  Not sure blogging is on His list - or computer at ALL for that matter.

What have I done that was worthy of my time this month?  Was I a good steward of the minutes God gave me?  Did I make an impact for the Kingdom in the lives of those entrusted to me?  Maybe one can never objectively answer that question.  Hmmm...

Peace to you,

Katie

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One day early - I'm starting a week-long computer fast tomorrow, so I'll leave you with this entry.

Heart of a Man

Come with me my friends

I need to spend some time alone

Please keep watch here for me

Don't fall into temptation, pray that God will be with you

Don't close your eyes; it's almost over now.

It's almost time to go now

I'm praying for the strength to do the things I need to do

Won't You stay with me awhile

Father, help me give my will to You

They're coming now for me

I want to call the angels down

to carry me away

But I love them all too much to leave, I need to set them free

Oh, Judas, I forgive you!  I love you

I know it's time to go now

I'll keep my eyes on things above,

on coming home to You

Please don't leave me yet

I need Your love to help me make it through

It's almost over now

I wanted so to take the drink

that could have dulled the pain

But what can dull this pain of life apart from You, it hurts so much

Abba, help me!  Oh, how much I thirst!

Father, can I go now?

Can I leave this world of sin,

of living without You

I know my job is done

I give my spirit over now to You.

********** 

I remember the first time I realized what Christ's death really meant and what hell really is.  It changed my whole perception of this life on earth and my desire for the life to come.

I was driving down the road on my way to a meeting, half listening to a sermon on the radio.  It was during Lent and the topic was the crucifixion.  It was the first time I had ever heard that hell is not necessarily a fiery pit.  This image helps us to understand what a horrible place it is and what tremendous torment the unsaved endure for eternity.  But hell is simply this:  existence without God.  No light, no love, no hope, only the knowledge that you chose to be forever separated from your loving Creator.

Jesus, the co-author of the universe, the Word who was with God from the beginning, chose to separate Himself from God and be forsaken by Him in order to pay the penalty for our sins.  That was the agony Jesus experienced on the cross.  And He did it for you.

* * * * * * * * * *

For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

            2 Corinthians 5:21 (NKJV)

Can you picture existing without God?  Can you imagine the pain of being separated from the King of the Universe who thinks you are special and who loves you unconditionally?  Jesus suffered this pain so that you wouldn't have to.  Have you said, "Thank You" lately?

Father, I thank You for the sacrifice You made for me.  Jesus, I can never say with words how grateful I am to You.  Please take my life as a gift and use it for the glory of Your kingdom.

© 2001

Peace to you!

Katie

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The Heart of God

A little girl lay "sleeping"

You called to her, "Arise"

She woke from the dead and looked at You

What did You see when You looked in her eyes?

Was it a glimpse of the Heaven you had left

to set us sinners free?

Was it knowledge of who You really were -

and who You were born to be?

The blind man begged for healing

You gave him back his sight

What was the expression on Your face?

Was it mercy...or delight?

Was it sadness for the state we're in,

for our wretched fallen souls?

Or was it joy or love...or both perhaps?

Is there anyone who knows?

Who can tell the mysteries of Your heart -

the emotions locked within?

Did You feel anger on the cross where You died

covered with our sin?

Or did You feel unending love

for the people You had made

with whom You'd come to laugh and live,

to teach and heal and save?

Jesus, You're a mystery

even to those who know You well

Who can know the secrets of Your heart?

Only time and Heaven can tell.

********** 

Everyone has his own idea of Heaven, of what it will be like when we get there.  Some people want robes, others wish for harps.  Some  hope it is the place where all your earthly dreams come true.  You know what I want first?

A press pass. 

Blame it on my twentieth century upbringing, but I picture Heaven's Orientation as a giant press conference.  A place where we get to ask the big names of the Bible any questions we may have.

"Um, Mr. Abraham, sir?  Were you really going to sacrifice your only son?"

"Excuse me, Moses?  Yeah, over here.  Was it hard to give up a nice, cushy desk job to become a shepherd and follow God?"

"Hey, Peter!  What was it like to walk with Jesus?"

Jesus.  The room falls silent at the mention of His name.  You swallow hard and hesitate, but only for a moment.  After all, He is why you came.

"Jesus?  How did You feel?"

I don't know all of what heaven will be like.  But I do know this:  we will get answers, we will have peace and we will worship our Lord and Savior.  That's the place I want to be!

* * * * * * * * * *

We love because He first loved us.

            1 John 4:19 (NIV)

We cannot step back in time to be with Jesus as He performed His miracles.  We cannot watch His face as He walked this earth.  But we do know that what motivated Him was a heart overflowing with love for His creations.  A love that led Him to risk all, to give all and to conquer all.

Father, I am ever amazed by Your grace and mercy.  Every miracle You performed while on this earth is a reflection of a miracle You have performed in my life.  You have caused me to see Your goodness, walk in Your will and live again in Your glory.  Thank You for loving me!

I've been tagged by Janne! 

1. What's the one question you want to ask God when you get to Heaven?

What's up with the Bermuda Triangle??

2. What is the one question you think Jesus would ask you were He still here in bodily form?

Why do you spend more time on the computer than you do with Me? (OUCH)

3. What do you think Heaven will be like?

See above devotion for my postmodern, slightly tongue-in-cheek answer!

4. Do you have a desire to be there now, or a desire to stay here until the work is finished?

He could come back any time...

Have you made Him your focus???

Peace to you,

Katie

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Alone With God       

Mystery surrounds me when I come into Your presence

I come seeking answers to my questions, but find none

Only the peace of knowing Your love for me

and the amazing sense of You as God

Questions no longer matter in the presence of the One

with all the answers

I am in awe of how You touch me

Softly, like a baby's breath, but insistent

staying with me long after I leave this place

I can no longer be as I once was,

uncaring, unfeeling, surrounded by myself

But I take a bit of You with me,

sustaining me

Holding my heart in Your hands,                                                  

allowing me to freefall without fear of repercussions          

                                                                                                              y!

                                                                                                       l

Teaching me to  s p r e a d   m y   w i n g s   a  n  d      f 

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I was on the telephone with my friend Nicole the other day, telling her something very important.  I don't remember now what it was, just that I kept on talking - even when the phone went dead!  My first reaction was hurt and disappointment that she didn't think my topic was worth commenting on.  So I kept filling the silences myself, becoming increasingly uncomfortable.  By the time I realized that the line was dead, I felt rather foolish.

I later found out that only my phone went dead - she could still hear everything I was saying!  As she listened to me ramble on, Nicole became hurt and angry that I wouldn't let her comment.  Can you picture it?  Here I was coming to her for guidance and answers,  and I wouldn't pause long enough for her to speak.  I'm sure she had a lot of wonderful things to say:  helpful ideas, kind words, loving concern.

Does this scenario sound familiar at all?  How many times have we come into the presence of God with a laundry list of complaints, requests and questions?  How often do we pause to listen to His wisdom?  The Lord loves when we come to Him just to be in His presence.  He loves to heal our hearts and fill our souls.

My point is not that we should stop seeking God to help us with our struggles.  On the contrary, the Bible tells us, "Do not be anxious about anything, but...by prayer and petition,...present your requests to God" (Philippians 4:6 NIV).  But prayer was never intended to be a one-sided conversation.  If we truly believe that God cares, shouldn't we listen to what He has to say?

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You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

            Jeremiah 29:13 (NIV)

When you pray, do you feel the need to fill in all the conversational gaps?  One-sided relationships only lead to anger, hurt and disappointment for both parties.  Close your eyes, call on God and let Him answer you as only He can.

Father, so much about this world troubles me.  I feel the need to confide in You and ask for Your divine guidance.  Too often, I end my time with You at that point.  Teach me to enjoy our quiet time together.  Refresh my soul, renew my hope, lift my spirits.

© 2001

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The Perfect Day by Richard Paul Evans.

It's about a man who becomes wildly successful and lets it go to his head.  He then finds out he has only 40 days to live and completely changes his life around, sowing forgiveness & love, etc.

So now I'm deep in thought - if I knew I had only 40 days to live, what would I fill them with? 

This is not a new concept for me.  Mark's cancer had these thoughts tickling my brain for awhile.  But is living like you were dying really attainable for someone who DOESN'T know specifically that the timer is ticking?  CAN you sustain that level of unselfish intensity??

Do you see what I'm saying?  We all KNOW that the clock is ticking, but mostly don't think about it.  And if we do, it's generally for a short period of time.  Then we get distracted...

What was I saying?

Thoughts?

Peace to you,

Katie 

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This was from our pastor's sermon this week.  I LOVED it!  So I'm snarking it for this blog entry.  It has become my NEW set of NYR!

10 New Year's Resolutions from Proverbs 3

1.  Do not let kindness and truth leave you. (v. 3-4)

2. Trust in the LORD with all your heart. (v. 5-6)

3. Do not be wise in your own eyes. (v. 7-8)