Once we headed up the elevator, we walked down a hallway and entered her door.  I was immediately drawn to the main wall of her living area.  There, hung unframed and casually,  were dozens of large 11 x 13 sized pictures of scenes from her life including her with her children, her grown children, grandbabies now grown.  It was like looking at the Bayeaux Tapestry, for me.  I was transfixed!   As I asked about the people on her wall, I discovered she’d outlived 2 husbands and had lost her daughter-in-law to cancer.  Her only son is a widower in his forties.  In the corner of her room sat a high back chinz armchair with a book open on the stand next to it.  Albums of genealogy lined her bookshelves.  A tall rubber plant commanded the center of attention in her little den.  While out on her patio, evidence of an avid "green thumb" was visible.  She wore swingy pale pink linen pants and a crisp cool white blouse. She is tall with sparkly blue eyes and a lovely face.  Her silver hair was pulled up in an elegant low inverted bun, reminding me of how I imagine Jane Eyre had hers. 

 On her small kitchen table were a teapot, cookies and Piroulines.  As we sipped tea she shared bits of her life’s story as I asked questions and tried to simultaneously keep Charis from eating the dirt in her potted plants. 

 So what’s the point of all my sharing this?  I don’t really know for sure except that, I think I (perhaps “we”) naturally tend to seek friendships with people that are similar to ourselves.  We like to find someone with the same age kids, same beliefs, same ideals, same standards, and tastes; someone who affirms our point of view.   And those people are of course so encouraging and precious to us.  But to discover someone so completely out of my sphere of normal friends who just inspires me is, in a nutshell, surprisingly refreshing!  I realize I’m typically pretty self-centered when I’m making friends.  And in trying to be a friend to someone who may be somewhat alone or lonely made me reach beyond myself.  It felt wonderful to know I had brightened her day immensely by simply sitting with her and having her share about her life and revisit her memories.  A simple visit can mean so much to someone living far from their own family.   

But our time together just did amazing things for me too.  For one thing, it helped me see beyond my days as a wrung-out mother.  Someday there will be no more droolly chins to wipe or sibling quarrels to referee.  I’ll get to have an apartment all to myself, a whole thought to myself!!  Ha-ha!  No, really… It made me feel glad that I’m choosing to stay home and invest in the lives of my children rather than a career for myself right now.  Lord willing, there are more seasons to life down the road!  "Lina" is in her golden years, looking back on all the memories she made…days at her beach-house on the North shore, years spent in England, time spent teaching grade school in Hawaii, traveling in Tunisia.  She’s lived a rich, lovely and totally different kind of life than I.  She loves the Lord too.  Someday I’ll be in her shoes…and be looking up at the memories of my home and life all condensed on a wall, joy mixed with sadness. She made me want to live with no regrets.  And she made me want to visit her again and hear more fascinating stories from the novel of her life.  Reach out to an "unlikely" friend...and be stretched, deepened and surprised. 

• Comments (9) • Post A Comment! • Permanent Link

I have to just take a moment to wow you all with the story of my dear pal, Allison, who just had her first baby.  Our Ohio buds were thinking they still had a whole TWO weeks until they're due date.  Who goes 2 weeks early on their first baby???  Well, after laboring at home, while the snow-storm had the base shut down this girl finally headed into the hospital and was already 9 cm when the poor overrun nurses got to check her.   Titus made his grand entrance weighing NINE POUNDS FOURTEEN ounces! and 22 inches long.  Did I already mention this is two weeks early??   

I'm really proud of them...go check out their site and see this handsome little guy!! 

They are wonderful parents and will do a fabulous job! 

• Comments (6) • Post A Comment! • Permanent Link

This is the cross-stitch I made for a friend’s birthday recently. What a treasure true friendship is. When we were stationed at our very first squadron duty station as a married couple, we became close friends with two other Navy couples. We women were in the first stages of our child-bearing eras. The men were deploying and coming in and out. Our home-towns and families were far away. Babies were being born. We hung together with tenacity and endured the brutal ice storms and snow pile-ups of Maine. We had lobster cook-outs, sang praise songs, studied the Bible together and kept each other accountable for growing in the Lord. We had our favorite restaurant we’d head to after church as families. We even took an ambitious and crazy winter vacation together to a cozy cabin in NH and had let’s see…five children under the age of 5 and six adults in that tiny three bedroom place. My dh took our newborn to the car one midnight so the rest of the cabin could sleep!  Somehow our hearts were knit together in a deep way during this poignant era of our lives.

How precious these friends and others are to me! After going our separate ways and living far apart for the last 7 years, we are on the verge of being stationed all together with these folks once again on an island in the pacific! This is a much anticipated reunion.

As I stitched that little piece of needlework recently, I reflected on these women and considered what has made them really long-lasting friends. Naturally, it could go without saying that they are people we ENJOY! They are fun, hilarious and spunky! We love them for lots of reasons, but they’re people who are adventurous, seize the day, and “suck the marrow out of life,” so to speak.

On the other hand, part of what knits us together has been the hardships we’ve endured as individuals yet shared as friends during those times…many of which were gut-wrenching, faith challenging, tough experiences for each of us. Veneers came down, and we didn’t try to pretend our lives were perfect. Through vulnerability and compassion, these friendships have stood the test of honesty.

…they’ve also made it through the "honesty" of interpersonal ups and downs, miscommunications and reconciliations. We’ve had times that have illustrated the verse, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful” (Pr 27:6). Real friends help rub away at our blind spots and imperfections, while believing the best about each other.

“As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.”  Proverbs 27:17

Great friendships require time and effort though. In order to stand the test of time, they take time, intentionality, sensitivity. Competition kills friendships. Camaraderie builds it. Friendships thrive under the grace of giving with no strings attached. Sometimes we’ve had to adjust our expectations of each other. But underneath it all in the marrow is Christ-centered agape & phileo love…the “in spite of everything” kind.

 One thing that struck me as I heard the tragic story of the man involved in the recent abductions of those two boys in MO was his statement, “I was lonely.” That obviously wasn't his only problem. But, he was isolated. He was living as an island. Dangerous and tragic. How powerful the influence of good friends living in community by contrast. Scripture, especially Proverbs, is full of references to the significance and value of friends.

“Ointment and perfume delight the heart, And the sweetness of a man’s friend gives delight by hearty counsel.” Proverbs 27:9

A friend will challenge you, fascinate you, inspire you and cause you to marvel at God’s creativity in designing different humans! Like the flowers in a garden or the seashells on the shore, friends are indeed treasures to savor. Celebrate and invest in your friendships far and near.  I'm thanking God today for each dear one I have. 

• Comments (6) • Post A Comment! • Permanent Link