Posted in Homeschooling

Yet another reason why I love the FIAR curriculum! Steve and Jane are a part of the FIAR message boards and share their wisdom with us...what a blessing! Here is what Steve had to say on the boards this week.

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I was talking with a friend yesterday and we were talking about the toll that legalism exacts on the women of these boards.

Let me elaborate because this is why, when I talk at conventions, I'll look up and see 100's of women all sobbing softly.

We live in a world (Christian homeschoolers) where there is an endless list of "ought to's" for those who would be Godly Christian Homeschool Mothers (GCHM).

Thou shalt be a GCHM! Thou shalt...

1. Rise before the sun and prepare your husband's lunch.
2. Have meaningful, original devotionals with the children.
3. Serve a hearty breakfast of hand-ground fresh grains and homemade yogurt.
4. Have your house spit-spot before 8:00 AM.
5. Help your children dress in matching home-sewn clothing.
6. Have the children write perfectly penned thank you notes for their Valentine's day gifts from grandparents.
7. Prepare 4 home-baked cakes for the women's church auxillary fundraiser.
8. Make geography exciting and meaningful while fulfilling some PhD's list of foundational world knowledge.
9. Have a 60-minute personal devotional while the children are doing math.
10. Correct the children for not saying "yes ma'am" and "thank you ma'am" when it's time for piano practice.
11. Rehearse the next 500 words for the state spelling bee.
12. Rehearse the next 500 locations for the state geogrpahy bee.
13. Help your 13-year-old complete their SAT practice exam.
14. Serve a healthy lunch of fresh eggs from the hens and fresh bread from the oven.
15. Complete the last 19 calls on the phone-tree for the homeschool co-op's field trip tomorrow.
16. Pray over the twins as you rock them to sleep.
17. Help the 14-year-old prep for the Calculus CLEP test at Jr. College.
18. Complete the daily vacuum, dust and straighten routine.
19. Change the twins into clean outfits to greet father.
20. Roll out the pie crust for the homemade applie pies and be available on the phone for the unwanted pregnancy crisis center counseling calls.
21. Change into a beautiful homemade dress, fix your hair and put on make-up to greet your husband when he returns home.
22. Help your 16-year-old daughter understand why courtshsip is Godly.
23. Put the freshly slaughtered hens into the oven while making sure there aren't any feathers still floating about the kitchen.
24. Whip up 12 dozen cookies for the pastor's ladies tea in the morning.
25. Check for any online orders to your Proverbs 31 Woman Mary Kay business.
26. Make sure the candle wicks are trimmed and the table is freshly polished for a warm family dinner.
27. Inspect the children's fingernails for daddy's approval when he gets home.
28. Change the sheets on "The Marriage Bed" to be ready to meet your husband's deepest physical needs on a moment's notice.
29. Run down your prayer list of 120 struggling missionaries and make sure you've prayed for each one of them again today.
30. Check to make sure each of the children has correctly memorized today's chapter of Proverbs to share with father during dinner.
31. Pay the last of the bills and put the egg-money respectfully beside your husband's plate for him to have.

It's the Baskin Robbins "Hell-On-Earth" 31-flavors of G-U-I-L-T that every Christian homeschool mother faces.

And we wonder why they seem overwhelmed and underappreciated.

What each one desperately needs to know is that Jesus loves them- just the way they are; messy toddler faces, unfolded laundry, a month behind in spelling, wrinkled bedsheets and hair hanging down in their faces.

And the OTHER thing they need to know is that their husband loves them unconditionally too- lunch or no lunch, clean bed or no clean bed.

So that's why I react so strongly to legalism- another list of do's and don'ts placed onto the weary backs of those who are already weighed down and heavily burdened by a Christian homeschool culture that expects perfection on a daily basis.

When I tell women that the Lord CHOSE them for this journey, INVITED them to walk with Him and has PROMISED to help them not be ashamed they weep.

When I tell them that God KNEW their weaknesses even BEFORE He invited them and that He loves them just the way they are- they sob.

We all need a little reminder of that, don't we?

I think that's how Jesus saw people in His day; beaten down, weary, discouraged and all too in touch with their own weakness and failure. I'm so thankful that He sat and ate with them, talked with them and loved on them.

"Just as you are"...

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Let me add a footnote to say this...

Anytime ANYONE gives you a "formula" for guaranteed homeschool results- feel free to dismiss everything they have to say. There IS NO FORMULA!

THERE IS NO FORMULA. Say that: THERE IS NO FORUMULA!

That's the theme of this year's Five in a Row Retreat in June: Every Story Has an Author: Faith vs. Formula in the Homeschooling Journey.

What worked for a book's author may not work for you.
What worked for your pastor's wife may not work for you.
What worked for your oldest may not work for your youngest.
What worked for your son may not work for your daughter.
What worked for this "encouraging" woman may not work for anyone else! (And to be honest, based on what her children think it's probably not working for her either. She just hasn't figured that out yet!)

We walk out homeschooling... and marriage... just like we walk out everything else in the Christian life- by FAITH in THE ONE Who called us.

It's not about US. It's about HIM; HIS sufficiency, HIS mercy, HIS compassion, HIS grace, HIS wisdom, HIS faithfulness. There are no forumulas. Period.

He loves your children more than you'll ever love them.
He knows your children better than you'll ever know them.
He is more passionate about raising your children than you'll ever be.
In your weakness, He is free to work His will on your behalf.

There's nothing really wrong with almost anything on that silly made-up list above *IF* the Lord has told you to do it. On the other hand, there's really nothing right about almost anything on that list if you're only doing it because you feel you "need to" if you're going to be an acceptable GCHM.