Nov. 15, 2007 - Dating???
We do not allow our children to date and we try to discourage "crushes" and talking about boyfriends/girlfriends. I believed that all was well until a couple of years ago when my oldest (then 16) got involved in a youth theater group. She started socializing with lots of kids her age that I did not know and without my "supervision". Up until this point, most of her socialization was with family groups, friends and homeschool groups where I knew everyone and I was usually present (sheltered, I know). She developed a "crush" or two while spending time with these other kids. I was devastated at first, feeling like I had failed. I got over it and realized, after talking to her and being councelled by my hubby that it was harmless and she was not acting on these "crushes". She was concerned about never being able to find the man she would marry and fall in love without dating.
Now it is 2 years later. She is still heavily involved with this theater group and 18. The topic of dating has come up a few times and she has boldly stated that she is not allowed to date. No one has really given her a hard time about it until just recently. But, now that she is 18 her friends feel that she should no longer be bound by this "law". She has been spending a lot of time and attention to one particular boy in this group and has confessed to us that her friends are trying to "hook them up". In fact last night she was telling me that these friends were trying to get them to kiss. She says that they are getting on her nerves, too. I have met this boy and he seems nice enough, but he doesn't fit the ideal my hubby and I have for the man we would help choose for our daughters.
I have spoken to her about the fact that she is now 18 and there will be legitimate "suitors" that will want to date her. I told her that if there is a guy she likes that may be serious about a relationship with her (long term/marriage) then he would need to come speak to Daddy first. I assume that she would have told this boy this fact if she was interested in him in that way, but she hasn't.
She is probably just enjoying the attention...makes her feel accepted and attractive. I know that I need to trust her and believe that I have taught her well to take a stand when it matters. Ugh! I don't think I can go through this 5 more times!!!
I am just venting my frustrations...sorry. If anyone has any advise, suggestions, or comforting word, please share. I would love to hear from anyone that has gone through this and survived.
~Carina~
