13 years ago today a wonderful, flawed, giant among men went home to sit beside the Lord. He was my grandpa, and he was the greatest of men. He is with me still, and whenever he makes his presence known it can still bring a tear to my eye and constrict my chest. He and I had a wonderfully special relationship, and I am better for the knowing of him. I thought I'd share a couple of stories in memory of him if you'd indulge me, so I can put pen to paper and share this man with you all.
When my mom was growing up, her family owned a restaurant in a small town in upstate Michigan. To be fair, it had been converted to a restaurant. It was originally a bar, with the bar down and pool tables and the like up. She was born on one of the pool tables upstairs while it was still a bar, and then eventually it was converted to a restaurant and the family lived upstairs for awhile. The restaurant was located in a small, farming community, and economics being what they were in the 1950's and 60's, there wasn't always enough money to go around. My grandpa seemed to know, in the way of small towns, just who was hurting the most and who needed what. Pride being what it is, and handouts being forbidden, he quietly helped those who needed it by helping through their children.
Being a small town, the restaurant and the high school were separated by maybe a quarter of a mile, so people descended en masse upon the restaurant daily at lunch time. Each day my mom and her older brother would be excused 10-15 minutes early to run down to the restaurant to help her family during the lunch rush. Each quarter, my grandpa would pick 2-3 students to come help daily as well, and in return, the students who worked got their lunches free. Each quarter, my grandfather would pick students from families who were down on their luck. My mother told me that story when I was much younger, and it made such an impression on me.
My grandfather always took things in stride. He never obsessed with security like we do now; he'd just say "If someone takes it, they must need it worse than I do." He always greeted me with an ear-to-ear grin and open arms, and he or my grandma was always cooking something~ I never remember walking into their home and not smelling something on the stove. Food was huge in our family, but I suspect it's because my grandfather had been born into a family of eight children that lived through the Depression eating lard sandwiches to survive. He had a chest freezer in the garage and always had no less than two five gallon drums of ice cream in there with the scoop set off the to the side and a box of cones set above it into the wall studs tucked behind an electrical cord. Some of my fondest childhood memories are of swimming in the lake with my cousins of a hot summer day and then running up to the garage to make myself an ice cream.
They loved the water, and always had either their main home or vacation home on a lake. I grew up swimming like a fish, and remember my first successful swim across the lake in my early teens. We'd also grab an inner tube and float on the water for hours; as I got older I'd take a book with me and float and read. One time my grandpa got in the row boat and brought a hamburger (his trademark sandwich) out to me where I was floating in the middle of the lake.
My grandpa and I had something special, and still do. Whenever I get too wound up or tense about things, he gently reminds me to tread softly through life. I don't always live up to the heritage he left behind, but I try. He was my hero, and I was devastated when he died, four days after the birth of my oldest son. He saw pictures of Piper that day, drove home and died unloading the luggage. I was unable to attend his funeral, being in another state as I was and having just given birth, and it is one of the most painful memories I carry to this day. On the day of his funeral, my beautiful baby was being admitted to the hospital for severe jaundice, and I was a mess. I wouldn't relive those days for anything, but thankfully they've faded to a dull pain that only occasionally strikes hard. I can't believe it's been 13 years already. It seems like just yesterday, and yet it seems like forever since I've seen him waiting for me with open arms.
He wouldn't want me to wallow, and I've not done that, but often I pull out a sweet memory and linger over it awhile. I tell stories to my children, and laugh with my mom over others, and always is the pervading sense of overwhelming love, so I know he is with us still. My grandfather went to be with his father, who died 50 years ago today as well, and life continues as it should. He is remembered fondly by many, and will never be forgotten. What more can any of us ask?
...about two things-- first, about your grandpa, and second, that I really can't read your post about him very well because your blog is messed up. At least it appears very strangely on my computer. I am not able to see whether others have commented on this, because I cannot reach the "Comments" link. (I was lucky to get to the "Leave Comments" link, in fact). Things are not in place where they ought to be and your sidebar is missing; actually it seems to be somewhere underneath your entries. The left side of your entry section is also inaccessible (which is why I can't reach the comments link or read most of the post). I'm not sure how else to describe it. It was also messed up when I read your last post, tho not as much-- at least I could see the entire post last time, tho not much of the sidebar. Did you change something before you did that last post? Hope you can get it fixed soon so I can read your current post and all future ones.
Sorry also to disappoint you by not posting about my getaway. Blogging is very time-consuming (and often sleep-depriving) for me bc I am such an anally perfectionistic writer, and sometimes I just don't feel like taking the time to blog!
I don't know what you did or undid, but your blog looks fine to me now. Yay!
And now that I can read your entire post, I see that your Grandpa died 13 yrs ago, not recently as I had first assumed. I do understand why you still miss him. My grandpas died when I was in my teens, and my grandmas died a year apart when I was in my early 30s-- the last one just over 10 years ago. I still miss them all.
What a lovely post. And what a wonderful relationship you had (have) with your grandfather! What a blessing he was to your life, and his memory continues to bless you. I know that would please him! Thanks for sharing this important part of your life with us.
That was a lovely testimonial about your grandfather. Mine died 11 years ago, and is greatly missed still - especially as my Grandmother recently celebrated her 90th. We had always thought that it would be Grandpa who would live to see 90.
Anyway, glad to see that life is treating your family well. We are incredibly busy here in NZ, but I thought I'd share some trivia about myself that you may find of interest:
We will be making our first ever (very brief) visit to Ireland later this year, and I am so looking forward to seeing Dublin, where my ancestor was transported from as a convict in the 1800s to Australia!
My daughter learnt Irish dance for a couple of years & I played in a number of Irish bands during that time, including for a large dance show of the likes of "Riverdance" which we performed here in NZ a few years back. I'm actually a sax player - but let your son know, I picked up the tin whistle & 3 weeks later was playing 2 of the songs a la the Corr's arrangements (mental block re the names) whilst running across a stage in front of thousands lol!
Bless you,
Cate
That was a beautiful post. Thank you for your welcome to AZ. We are loving it so far. It is very different from SC! We are living in Glendale at the moment. My only question is what is wrong with the water. It is horrible to drink. Is that normal?
*sniff, sniff!* What a guy, Shani! Thanks for sharing this. You have such wonderful memories of him. That's really neat. I love how he used to pick the children to help out that needed that free lunch. What an observative, caring guy.
And a happy birthday to Piper! You're a mom of a teenager now! :)
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