Posted in On Being a Wife and Mother

It has occurred to me lately that we mothers, we wives, have an unjustified inferiority complex when we compare ourselves to other wives and mothers.  Forget that comparing ourselves is idiotic, forget that we are our own, unique selves.   Because we certainly forget it.

Each woman here has talent, a fun outlook on life, and that special thing which makes her HER.  And no one else can duplicate that.  Because everyone else has their own talents, their own outlooks on life, and their own special things.  And we forget it, each and every day.

I get up each morning, amazed at the new day, the endless possibilities, and thankful that the Father in Heaven has blessed us with another day.  I marvel in the peacefulness and tranquility of my home when I am the first one up, and determine to do better, be more. 

 Whoa.  Do better?  Be more?  Than what?  Or who?

I am one of you - almost.

I don't seem to have things together like some on here.

I don't do great enough in some school subjects. 

I don't work with the earth enough. 

I fail in my quest to be the perfect wife and mother every day.  Some days more spectacularly than others. 

I'm not everything to my friends that I wish that I were.

I'm not the biddable, submissive wife that I ought to be; that I strive to be each and every day.

As a mother, I sometimes yell at my children for reasons that have nothing to do with them.

I fail to come to an answer on how to deal with specific people in my life.

I'm not happy with how I look.

I'm not outwardly who I am inwardly a lot of the time.

I'm not as organized as I want to be.

I could go on and on.  And you would probably be familiar with just about everything on my list, as it would mirror a lot of what's on yours.

Now, here's the rub:  Lately, I have had people coming to me (me!) for advice on organizing.  On scheduling.  On schooling.  Instead of being flattered (which I should be), I think to myself, "If you only knew the truth."

And yet, what's the truth?  The truth, if I'm honest with myself, is that I am organized for the most part, I do have a knack for scheduling, and for us, our schooling methods work great (when I remember that pesky little fact instead of trying to re-invent the wheel every year).  Compared to some, I have reached the holy grail of organizing a home that is absolutely 100% lived in 100% of the time.  People can pop in and I'm not ashamed (for the most part).  That statement is HUGE if you know where I've come from.  Because I've worked really hard on that.  And while it's still a daily struggle, I'm so much better than I ever used to be.

So we get to the crux of this morning's musing:  we women focus on what is wrong with ourselves, more than what is right.  I love something special and unique about each and every one of you, did you know that?  I'll bet each and every one of you just blew that statement off with a passing thought similar to this:  "There's nothing special about me."

That's where you're wrong.  I would love to get specific, but am afraid of hurting someone if I accidentally leave them out, so here are a few of the thousand or so things that are specific yet anonymous:

You have an incredible capacity of love, kindness, and generosity.
You are funny, sometimes intentionally, sometimes not.
You are selfless.
You are a fellow sister in Christ.
You are an amazing teacher.
You are a priceless friend.
You are a loyal and loving wife.
You are so talented in your special areas.

These are but a few of the thousand or so reasons you should be proud of yourselves.  Instead, we look at what she is doing, and all we see is the wanting in ourselves.

No more.

I am going to name 10 things I like about myself, and then I want you to leave me a comment about 10 things you like about yourself.  It is time we start building each other up, and time we begin looking for the positives in ourselves.

10 Things I Like About Me:

1.  My love for the kitchen.  I am so glad that I can cook for my family.
2.  My patience.  While sorely lacking once upon a time, I have finally learned how to hold onto it.
3.  My excitement in educating my children.  That hasn't burned out or diminished in any way since the day we began.  In fact, it's only increased.
4.  My love for my husband.  It has only grown stronger through time.
5.  My love for my children.  Who knew you could feel this?
6.  My change in housekeeping habits.  Now, I pick things up right away and put them away (for the most part).
7.  My hospitality.  I have really been working on this area, and am happy to say that 85% of the time I am a welcoming, warm hostess.  I have struggled with this due to the constant unexpected interruptions, but have improved greatly.  Room for much more improvement, but I'm a work in progress.
8.  My ability to admit that I don't know.  I used to *never* be able to admit this.  Now, if flows freely off my tongue.
9.  My ability to admit that I'm wrong.  Seems to work with everyone but my husband (grin), but I will breach that final frontier.
10.  My faith.  While severly tested over several years, I am relieved and overjoyed to report that I found a firm foothold in my faith, and my heavenly Father holds my hand each and every day.

Okay.  That was not easy, and even painful at times, but I did it.  I will expect you to give us your 10.

We are women, in a long line of women, that are homemakers, wives, home educators, friends, daughters, sisters, and above all, ourselves.  I wouldn't really want to be anyone else, and neither would you.  So let's find the pride and joy in being who we are again, and that begins with liking ourselves.