Dec. 12, 2005 -
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This story is based on true events. I have seen some of it first hand. Because I don't know the whole story I have taken some liberties, put pieces together and made assumptions where I've seen fit.
She fell, panting, to the ground. Her lungs felt like they were going to explode. She could feel her heart beating through her whole body. It's steady rhythm pounded in her temples and reminded her that she was still alive. She tried to steady her breathing, sucking in the cool spring air as if it were a drug. This was her only escape.She lay there, sprawled out in the grass of an open field. How long could she stay before they noticed she was gone? She found comfort in running away for a while. She looked up at the stars and tried again to count them. She loved the stars. They were beautiful and safe, despite their mystery and distance. They were consistent.Her breath came out in a sigh as she let the weight of the day come back to her. She tried to remember the words in the note Pete had written her that afternoon. She didn't know how she felt about him or the dozen other boys that called her after school. She savored their attention. She knew none of it really mattered. But the drama was easier to think about than the reality of....She winced when she remembered the truth. The cold, hard reality of life. But she couldn't make it go away now. The memory replayed when all she wanted was for it to be erased forever, as if it had never happened.In her memory she saw a tall man and a dark-haired woman standing in the dirty living room of a poorly kept house. She saw a young version of herself reflected in the window of the room, watching from around the corner. They were fighting, yelling at each other and calling dirty names that she knew she shouldn't hear. The man swung his fist at the beautiful woman. She crumbled to the floor under the impact. Then he left forever.Not long after, the woman found another man. They flirted and played, laughing and kissing. She saw them slip into the master bedroom and close the door. In middle of the night, while the rest of the world was asleep, she heard this man lift her little sister from her bed and take her to the bathroom. She covered her ears and sang to herself, praying he would leave. She was too afraid to move, frozen under her covers.Then there was the day she found herself seated in a chair before an old man she didn't know. She was nervous. He asked lots of questions. But she knew all the answers. She knew what her decision would be. She never wanted to be with her parents again. It wasn't fair to her, or her baby sister.She saw her family. Life in this house was good. No more fear of the dark. No more wondering what was coming next. She had her own room; the walls were pink and green. Posters and pictures of her friends covered the walls. She was allowed to enjoy the music streaming from her stereo. Until her little sister bounced in. No, she could not borrow her brush. No, not her clips either. They threw words back and forth until she finally slammed the door in her baby sister's face. Hate welled up inside of her. She wanted to throw her annoying sister out with the dogs. She didn't hate her sister. She only hated the memories and the guilt that came with her.Tears began to fall as she walked slowly home. She wiped her face with her hands, being sure to catch any running makeup that might give away her thoughts that evening. She had to cover it up and not let them know how much it still hurt. She had to be strong.She walked in the door and straight to her bedroom. She pulled out a notebook and tore out a fresh, clean piece of paper near the center. She drew a girl, trapped between stone walls too high to climb and too thick to break down. The Sun was hidden behind dark clouds of sadness and pain. Drops of guilt where raining down on her. She drew tears in the girls eyes.She set her pencil down and placed her work of art beside her bed. She lay her head on her pillow, exhausted. She sang herself to sleep, praying that the sun would shine tomorrow.Somewhere beyond the stars that she loved so much, the Man of her dreams heard her song and saw her tears. He reached down and stroked her hair with His perfect touch. He held her heart in His hands and was slowly putting the pieces back together. And though she didn't know it, He was the Sunshine she was waiting for.--------------------------------------------------------
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Comments
Dec. 17, 2005 - Untitled Comment
Posted by alaska0girl
Is that based on a true story?
Dec. 29, 2005 - Untitled Comment
Posted by koolaid
ya was that real?
Jan. 8, 2006 - Beautifully written
Posted by heresseven
Keep writing girl, I think you have a gift.
I was clicking random blog and landed on your blog. Very nicely written. Based on a true story? ....What a mess people can make. I like very much how you ended it and the poetry after. Are you a writer?
Hey koolaid was here! lol that is my little girl. I will have to go ask her thoughts on it...
Blessings
