Knights Becoming and a Lady in Waiting

Is Anyone Home?

Wow.  Have I really been gone from blogging for this long?  Oddly enough, I think about blogging often; I still compose entries in my head.  But I was recently blessed with what seemed to be a vibrant homeschooling community to interact with in person, so I was spending less time online.  I also worked more at the YMCA, so I was home less.  All said... I was living life for a while, rather than writing about it.

I was made to write, though.  When I don't write, everything gets backed up inside.  I sleep less well and I blow up over littler things.  So here I am, back to writing, as my world suddenly got knocked on its side this week.

I help teach the homeschool swimming at our local YMCA.  A fellow homeschooling mom and I teach eight energetic kids from four-years-old to ten-years-old, the basics of swimming.  They're all fairly comfortable in the water, but none of them can swim half a length of the pool alone. 

To keep the kids safer, we have them sit against the wall until we're working with them.  The weather has been nice, so it hasn't been too cold to be sitting out.  We are able to take two kids apiece-- four each trip-- and get in some good distance/ endurance training while we're working with them.

At the end of the lesson, we take the kids to the deep end and practice jumping in and diving.  I was working with one of the four-year-olds (the only non-homeschooled kid in the class) and his mother was trying to help.  I asked in a polite way if she could let us do the teaching (she has prior swim experience, but having someone who is not employed by the Y near the pool teaching is a liability issue for our insurance) and suddenly an attack broke loose.  No need to go over the entire episode; enough to say that this tired and frustrated mom let her temper get the best of her and stalked off, declaring she'd quit.  (My boss had quite the words with me about the quit scare, but was otherwise understanding).

Fast-forward five hours later and I get a call from a homeschooling friend I haven't talked to for a while.  Our family didn't participate in the local co-op this semester because I thought it was too much for my kids, so I miss seeing some of our friends.  I run a couple of programs for the homeschooling community and had stopped by twice this semester to either drop-off or pick-up materials, but had both visits cut short by my children deciding to act out, so I was very much enjoying the talk until the fateful, "I have some, sort of, bad news, by the way."

My friend proceded to tell me that I was no longer allowed at the co-op (she is on the board) because a) my children were disruptive (had she stopped there, I would have felt badly, but understood!) and b) I was using the co-op time for "socialization and free babysitting".  Ouch.

Having gone back over my two visits to the co-op numerous times in the last four days (usually when I should be sleeping), I can see that viewpoint, but to have my friend say it in such a manner was deeply wounding.  Also, to discover that several of my friends (all of whom are on the co-op board) have been discussing me in such a manner for nearly two months now, but none chose to discuss it with ME in a loving manner has set me back on my heels.

In their defense, all these women are low-energy, low-confrontation types.  My children are definitely energetic and, on the last time I was at the co-op, I was NOT the most diligent mother I could have (should have) been.  I totally acknowledge my at-fault there.  I am also, as noted in the swimming story above, tempermental and moody and do tend to let my emotions control me far more than they should.

That doesn't stop the hurt that not one of these ladies cared for me enough to talk to me, confront me in a loving manner, and tell me what was going on.  The Bible says, "Speak the truth in love" (Ephesians 4:15) and asks older women (I am younger by at least five years than each of these women and they all have at least one teen) to "train the younger women to love their husbands and children" (Titus 2:4).  My mother is 1900 miles away, so I definitely look to older women in the Christian homeschooling community and my church to provide guidance.

Not one of these ladies (five of them) sat me down and tried to talk to me.  Even as I type this, that part hits me again right through the chest.  Instead, I was given an official notice over the telephone to no longer participate in a homeschooing activity in a way that was deeply hurting and still wrings my  heart.

I've always found the HSB community to be fairly honest and yet caring, so I guess I have returned because I still trust you.  While I am daily giving up the bitterness and anger that has come from this result, trusting those particular ladies with my heart will be much more difficult.

So, here I am.  Back home, so to speak, rather like a prodigal son.  I only pray that one day I can say to those ladies, like Joseph near the end of Genesis, that what they intended for harm (not that I think they deliberately tried to hurt me, but it's the closest parallel I can manage!), God has brought to good.

Someday.

I'm so sorry ...

7:32 AM, Mar. 31, 2007 .. Posted by MuckFootMom

I'm so sorry. I would be crushed to receive news like that, too, and realize there was on ongoing 'backstory' that I had been clueless to. Perhaps ... just something to think about ... you could write a letter to the ladies thanking them for bringing it to your attention, and humbly acknowledging your part in it, as you have here, but asking that, in the future, they do gently talk with any 'offenders' in love first, before having to discuss and make an official decision about someone. Perhaps this could be an opportunity for them to grow, as well.

I'm sorry that sad and frustrating things brought you back to blogging, but I am glad you're back blogging! :-D

Ouch!

9:28 PM, Sep. 14, 2007 .. Posted by tallenmomof5

I can't imagine how that must have stung. :(

I pray this note finds you with that Joseph mentality about it that you hoped for. I'm not much on blogging myself lately, but wanted to pop in and say that I have certainly missed you!

Blessings,
Trish
(tallenmomof5soontobe6 ;) )

Edited by tallenmomof5 on Sep. 14, 2007 at 9:29 PM

hello?

8:17 PM, Jul. 29, 2008 .. Posted by tallenmomof5

Well at last comment, I was "soon to be tallenmomof6", but it turns out I was wrong.

I am actually now tallenmomof7...I never was good at math. LOL!

I miss your blog, friend.

Pop over sometime and see pictures of my newest duo of sons.

Blessings!
Trish