Oct. 21, 2008 - My Decision

I was sitting in my geography class today and we got on the subject of the Mayans and their predictions of the future. They predicted that the world was going to end on December 23^rd, 2012. The Mayans have only been of by 42 seconds on any of their predictions. Then my professor said that he personally thinks that everyone should forget school for a little bit and travel. You get the best education from just traveling. So I have decided that after this year of college, instead of transferring somewhere for next year, I am taking a school year off to earn enough money so I can travel. And then when I am done I will go back to school.

            Now you’re probably going to say that I am crazy, that the world is not going to end in 2012, and I should just stick to my plan of going to college first and then traveling. But I am not deciding this on a whim and it is not because of the Mayans predictions of the end of the world. It is because I have been contemplating this for a while. I have to do it now. What if I died tomorrow, or what if let’s say in three months I meet a guy, we become engaged in a year, then we get married and start a family. I won’t have the freedom to travel after that. I have to take the chance now and go.

            If my parents didn’t decide to sell the house after the hurricane, buy an RV, and travel the USA, I wouldn’t be who I am or where I am today. Now the where part doesn’t really matter to me, because I would much rather still be in MD, haha. But the experience I had from that decision was amazing. And that one decision has changed my whole life.

            My mother grew up traveling, she traveled when she was around my age with my MorMor, and I am extremely jealous of the experiences she had. And my 16 year old brother spend 7 months bicycling across New Zealand and Australia. My grandparents, Aunt, Uncle, and cousins have traveled all over the world. I know jealousy is wrong, but I can’t help but be jealous of them when they are doing what I have always dreamed of. I only have one life and I feel like it is wasting away. I look at people who were born within 50 miles of here and they have never left. I am terrified of turning into them. They grow up here, go to school, meet their spouses, have kids, and then are stuck here. They are too scared to take a chance and go.

            Traveling is in my blood. From when I was five years old to when I was thirteen I have journals of all my dreams and everything I wanted to do. I wanted to live on a sailboat and travel the waters, I wanted to study the renaissance and art it Italy, I wanted to learn about all the different culture, and find a field in some far off country and spend the night. Over the years, those dreams have been pushed to the back burner, and life, responsibilities, and so many other things have taken over. I am not going to let that happen anymore.

            I love this country, but after traveling all over it and living here my entire life, I am bored of it. I want to see distant lands that I read about and dream of. I have to get out of here before I go insane. I am not waiting another minute. Now I know I am going to get a lot of lectures and criticism from family and friends about my decision, but I just don’t care anymore. If I spend the rest of my life caring about what others think and living my life how they want me to, I will not be living my life. I have seen a lot of death in the past few years, and I have learned how fragile and precious life is. If I went to the doctor and they said I have some rare disease and I only have 2 weeks to live, I have lost my chance to live my dreams.

            I cry myself to sleep at night because I feel trapped and I feel like I will never be able to do what I want, and it is so horrible. Every moment in life is a blessing, and mine are wasting away. I have given up a lot for my family, and I love them dearly, but I just can’t do it anymore. I was supposed to go to this Christian home for girls to get help with some problems I have, but my mom had just left my dad and she needed me to help her and be a babysitter for my little brother so she could work and go back to school to support us. I had an offer to go to Italy to be a nanny this coming summer, something I have always wanted to do, but my family has been going through some really rough times and they need me. So I e-mailed the lady that offered me the job and told her I can’t do it. I am always feeling guilty for what I want to do, and I am not going to anymore.

            At the end of May I am going on an art trip to Maine and it costs $900, I know that it is a lot of money, but the trip is so worth it. When I told my mom about the trip, she started going on and on about how that the trip is the same time that she is moving to Arkansas and how she thinks that is to much money, and I felt so guilty that I was depressed and crying all the time for about a week. I was so upset that I almost decided not to go. My grandparents came to visit last week, I was so excited to tell my grandmother about the art trip and I thought she would be excited too. But when I told here about the trip, she asked if I was getting any credits for it, and when I told her no, she sounded like she was disappointed that I would spend so much money to go on some stupid art trip. And I was sitting there stuttering and thinking up lies to make it sound so much more impressive so she wouldn’t be disappointed in me. So my mother and grandmother would think it is a great trip and opportunity, and it really is.

            So all of you may say that I am crazy and will probably be extremely disappointed in me, but I just don’t care anymore. This is my life and I am not going to let it waste away. Life is for living, and I am going to live it!

Here are the places I want to go to:

Europe:

Greece

Italy

Austria

France

Spain-Barcelona (I have a step-aunt who lives there)

Africa:

Uganda

Kenya

Ethiopia

Asia:

Thailand

Malaysia

Central American Caribbean:

Jamaica

North America:

Prince Edward Island

• Post A Comment!

Comments

Oct. 21, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Jocelyndixon

Well, I won't tell you to go back to college at all, ever. :) I will tell you that the Bible says no man knows the hour of Christ's coming, not even Jesus. I think we are drawing near to the End Days, but I don't think anyone can set a date on it.

I pray you will pray before making any major decisions on traveling and if you go I pray the Lord's hand be upon you!

((HUGS))

• Permanent Link

Oct. 23, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by WalkingInMiddleEarth

Hey!
You have a very interesting blog! We couldn't help but
notice that you listed LOTR in your interests. Our blog is dedicated to Tolkien's work and we thought you might enjoy it. Feel free to check it out and add us to your friends list if you want.

~Natalie and Samantha~

• Permanent Link

Oct. 26, 2008 - Hi Sara! :)

Posted by Liz

Hi Sara! :)

I don't mean to be a bother, but have you sent me your address for my giveaway yet? Please send me an email or Private message if you haven't so I can send you your prize. :)

Have a Great Day! :)

~Liz~

• Permanent Link

Oct. 29, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Earthling

I am so happy for you! Traveling is really a great experience. I too want to travel a lot more, especially out of North America. I've only been to Canada and Mexico, and a lot of the US. I did love Prince Edward Island and Maine a lot! It's beautiful there.
It was nice hearing from you...how are things going?

• Permanent Link