So far I have no regrets about enrolling my daughter in the charter school.  The best part is the help both finacial and from the ES we get.  We are going through Excel math and "Teach your Child to Read in 100 Lessons".    My girl loves doing the lessons and I love the fact that all the lesson plans are already there for me to use with out much planning on my part.  My time is extremely tight right now with the new baby and so using pre-made lesson plans is a true God sent.  I just want my girl to learn to read on her own asap because I know that will open up the whole world of learning to her.  She can do the math on her own after I explain what she needs to do.  So far so good!

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I heard a lady say that she gets bored staying home with her kids?  WHAT THE HECK!  She must have a maid and a few other servants cause there aren't enough hours in my days or years in my life to do a quater of the things I need and want to do and then when I do finaly finish something by days end I have to do it all over again!  Boredom for me is a luxury I haven't had since I was a kid.

It must be nice to have nothing to do, LOL!

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I met with the Education Specialist from the charter school we homeschool through.  It's part of the public school system.  When I told her that part of my daughter's education included belonging to a Christian Club called AWANA she agreed to add it to the list of things that count toward her education because it teaches her several life skills.  However the thing that got to me was that she had to get "creative" in how she wrote it down for the record.  She couldn't put it as AWANA because it is a Christian club, she had to write it down as just a "kids' club" so it could count .  No goverment funds are going toward her membership in the club by the way.

ARE WE STILL IN THE USA?!!!  I never thought I would ever have to hide my kids' faith to appeace the goverment like if this were some communist society or something like that!?   What is this place comming to?  In the name of political correctness freedom and constitutional rights are slowly but surely being disstorded and diminished.

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We finaly got Rosie enrolled at Eagle's Peak Academy.  We have our first meeting with the ES on Wendsday.  I look forward to the help I'll get from the charter school with the lesson planning and organising.  I've herd nothing but good things about it and I hope that they do allow me the flexibility they boast.  As for what we've been doing so far on our own we have been following an unschooling type of strategy for the past month.  I've been teaching Rosie according to the life experiences we've been having instead of formally sitting down and doing workbooks.  Things have worked out that way because having the new baby has taken up most of the time I used to spend planning lessons and executing them with Rosie.  She also loves to play educational computer games.  She's learning how to read playng a reading and phonics game over the internet.  We haven't been able to go to the library as often as we used either.  I know that as soon as we start working on the curriculum we will recieve from EP it will allow us to get back to a more formal routine once more.  Since I homeschooled through out the summer and only took about 3 weeks "off" to plan this year I'm not to worried about this past month of not having a formal teaching schedule.  I actualy expected it knowing I would have a newborn to care for.

I keep asking the Lord for wisdom and guidance as I continue to eduate our children.

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It's hard to believe that it's been almost a month since I gave birth to our beautiful little Boy!  That's why I decided that I better write down his Birthday story now before more time passes by and I forget many of the details.

As I wrote in previous blogs his actual birth began weeks before he came into the world.  I was in what is called pre-labor for about a month prior to his birthday.  On the one hand that was a good thing since it made the toughest part of labor very fast, but on the other hand I belive that quickness caused one of the two complications we experienced at his birth. 

More on that latter. 

The morning of the 29 of October began like any other I've had for the past few weeks.  I had a very restless night because I was so anxious from being 3 days past my due date.  As I've writen before my greatest fear was that I would have to be induced.  At my last doctor's apointment he said I was  3cm dialated and had effaced to 60%.  I was a bit relived that I was progressing some but at the same time by then I was growing tired of the slow progress.  I had asked the doctor that previous Tuesday if I could do anything on my own to induce labor.  He was adament about me not trying any home induction teqniques including castor oil and he told me to just keep walking.

That Sunday morning however I decided to ignore his instructions.  I went to Church  that morning and afterward I went to the drug store to buy a small bottle of castor oil.  I didn't even tell my DH Nick that I had done that because I knew he would get mad that I had ignored doctor's orderes.  After the birth I confessed and apologies to Nick for that, we never keep secrets from each other and I wasn't going to start then.   Many people I knew had recomended castor oil to me to induce labor and I had tried it a couple of weeks before with no success other than getting very clean bowels!

In my desperation I decided to try castor oil just once more but only 2oz which is half of what I'd tried two weeks before.  The rest of the day went on as ususal until my oldest girl asked if we could pray for the baby to come out that night.  I told her that God will have the baby born when he is ready (although in my mind I also hoped it was that day!!!).  So we prayed that if God willed the baby would finaly be born that night healthy and happy.

A few hours latter at about 7pm I began to feel some contractions.  I felt a mixture of hope and of caution since I didn't want to get dissapointed if those were just false labor pains again.  One hour passed, and then two and the contractions kept coming although they didn't seem very regular yet.  They were from 8 to 30 minutes apart varying times with each one.  At about 9pm with mild to medium contractions still coming my mother in law advised me to call my DH Nick at work to tell him that my contrctions have been non stop for the past 2 hours (my previous false labor contractions would stop at about one hour).  So I called Nick and I told him.  He seemed a bit skeptical too and I told him not to come home until I knew for sure this was the real thing.  He kept calling me through out the evening to check up on me.  At about 10:45 pm Nick got home from work and my contractions had become more regular at about 8-10minutes apart and had become a steady medum strength.  I called the hospital but they told me to just wait until the contractions got so painful that I couldn't stand it anymore.  I was dissapointed that they didn't tell me to come in but by that point I was getting used to dissapointing news.  I decided to go to bed with some hope this was it, but at the same time atticipating another night of nothing.

Then at about 11pm I had a rude awakening.  I remember I was just begining to dream as I drifted off to sleep when I felt a pain as if someone had punched in in the stomach.  After that pain subsided I had only a few seconds of rest before another one struck me just as suddenly and strong.  I went to the bathroom and noticed heavy bleeding.  I went into the living room where Nick was and I told him that I thought it was time for us to go.  I had a few more contractions but those were not as strong anymore.  I prayed that they would not continue to subside.  My prayer was answered because just as we were ready to leave I began to have contractions so strong that I litterally had to stop in my tracks and couldn't even utter a word from the intensity.  Quickly we said goodbye to my mother in law who had been staying with us to help me out and also waiting for baby to be born and said goodbye to a groggy Rosebud who had been awakened by our hurried voices. 

I had fantasised about that drive to the hospital dozens of times before in my head whenever we would drive the same freeway we took to the hospital, specialy because this would be the first time I had taken that drive while being in actual active labor!   However, now that it was realy happening I barely got a chance to enjoy the midnight drive since I had my eyes closed most of the way due to the intensity of each contraction.

When we got to the hospital we had to park far away because there was some construction going on there.  Every step I took felt like an eternity and every few steps I would get a contraction so I had to stop.  Nick would patiently and lovingly hold on to me as we waited for each contraction to pass.   Finally we got to the ER where I had to wait another few minutes (it felt like hours!) as I got admitted.  I was wheelchaired into the maternity ward triage room since all the regurar LDR's were full.  I was told that as soon as an LDR was free I would get it.  It was a promise they never fulfilled.  The nurses told me that they would keep me in observation for an hour to make sure I was in real labor.  I almost slaped someone because if this crazy pain I had wasn't real labor than I must have been going nuts!  There was no way I was going home no matter what they said!

After an hour I had gone from 3cm to 4cm which caused the nurses to conclude it was indeed real labor (duh!).  We called my mom and she rushed to the hospital to be with me during the birth.  In the mean time the pains got more and more intense.  Just when I though they were a strong as they could be the next one seemed worse!

I vowed to myself not to have an epidural and I had told Nick a few weeks before that no matter how much I begged for it that he would not let me get one.  He did his job well.  The nurse offered me another type of drug that, as she explained, would take the edge off the pains but would make me feel drunk and drowsy.  It wasn't an epidural so in my moment of weakness I agreed to take some of that drug.  She was right when she said that it would make me feel drunk and drowsy, I felt as if I had at least a 6 pack of beers, however and regretably it did nothing for the pain.  So now besides the intence sensations from the contractions I also had a major buzz and I could barely keep my eyes opened from feeling so sleepy.   With evey contraction I remember asking Nick to pray that God would give me strength because I felt mine draining away fast.  I felt bad for my poor mom who had to witness me in that state but having her there deffenately gave me more comfort.   

I don't know how much time had passed but I had enough of the pains and asked the nurse about an epidural, as soon as Nick left the room for some coffee of course.  She checked me and said I was already at 7cm so an epidural was out of the question.   I'm extremely glad I didn't get a chance to get an epidural and I thank my amazing DH Nick for his loving support in that decition.  I know it must have been hard for him too seeing me that way and having to be the one to remind me of my resolve like I asked him to.  He is my best coach and motivator after God!  I love him so! 

Also, when the nurse checked me she said that I had a bulging bag of waters and that although she wasn't allowed to break it (only the Doc was allowed to do that) she had pinched it in hopes that would weaken it and it would pop with the next contraction.  After she left the room all I remember is my eyes involuntarily closing from that drunk drug's drowsy effect when suddenly I felt an amazingly  intence and strong feeling with the next contraction!  I had just a couple of seconds before another one just like it happened and I felt a pop and then a hot gush of water.  That's when I had one of the most surreal moments of my life!  I heard myself let out this great yell and I fell a tremendous amout of preassure.  My mom ran out to call the nurse.  When the nurse came back in I saw her eyes open wide and she told me not to push (I HATE WHEN THEY TELL ME THAT!), the baby was crowning!  I barely managed enough strength and breath to tell her that I couldn't stop.  I felt all consious control over my own body completely dissapear as it took over the work on it's own.  Nothing my body did after that was my own will, it just did what it was created to do as if some other force had totaly taken over it.  It was both amazing and terrifying at the same time specialy since that didn't happen to me with my two other babies.  Even my emotional reaction wasn't voluntary.  I heard myself yell out, yet in my mind I was thinking to myself "This is so ridicuous, I wish I could just shut up, how dramatic!" but I couldn't stop that reflex reaction!

After the pop and the gush I felt a sting as if I were being ripped in half.  I though for sure I would need corrective surgery after that birth.  In the mean time more nurses came in and they finaly realised that no matter how much they begged me not to push that my baby was coming and that they better be ready to catch him.   Panic filled the room once more and I heard them say that the baby had shouler distocia which means that his showlders were stuck in the birth cannal in my pubic bone.  Latter on after the baby was born I heard the nurse explaining to the doctor that she had to put her hands inside me to turn baby around.  She also said that in her 30 years of being a nurse and delivering babies that was the first time she had delivered a baby with showlder dystocia.  What a way to be remembered!  I belive that he got stuck because he poped out like a cannon ball so he didn't have time to plac himself properly in the birth cannal.  That must have been when I felt like I was going to rip in half!   I even thought about my little girls and what would happen to them if something realy bad happened to me right then and there!  Finaly after what seemed like an eternity that Monday October 30 at 4:23 am my precious baby boy was born!  Just then as I saw him laying on my bed with his cord still connected to me I felt the greatest high!  All those sensations just a few seconds ago which had made me feel as if death was imminent for me had in a moment completely dissapered and were replaced by complete euphoria.  I felt as if I was floating on air.  Even that annoying drunk feeling the drug had given me went away as soon as Baby Nick came out of me!   They took my baby away because like my body traditionaly likes to do I began to hemorrage.  The poor nurses paniced once again.  Latter on Nick told me I was the talk of the maternity ward since my labor was so interesting, to say the least.  I even had a student nurse interview me for a paper she had to do because of that.

The same nurse who delivered Baby Nick worked fevershly to stop the bleeding.  She had told me before she was a Christian but at that moment the way I heard her expressing herself verbaly from the situation at hand did not morror her faith, poor lady!   She massaged my uterus and gave me a shot that burned (just when I thought the pain was over).  She ordered the other nurses that I be given pitocin to cause my uterus to contract.

Then the doctor finaly showed up.  The nurse explined to the Doc everything that had happened and asked her to sign the ok for all the drugs she had given me (RN's are not allwed to prescribe medications which she had to do to save me from bleeding to death).

By the time the doctor got there all she realy had to do was make sure that I was ok and that the bleeding was under control.  All the real chaos was over before she even got there.

My poor mom had been kicked out of the room since it was too small for her to be there during the actual birth.  I ended up delivering it the triage room instead of the LDR I was promised when I first came in.  Not having my mom there to witness the birth of our third child was upseting to me specialy since she had been there for the previous two.  Of course the presence of my precious husband there was a tremendous comfort for me like always.

An hour or so latter the nurses finaly gave me my Baby Nick back.  Just as with my first two little Angels he seemed even more amazing and beautiful than I could ever have imagined and just as my first two it was love at first sight (the only love at first sight I do believe in).  It's moments like that one that I feel closest to Heaven and that have convinced me beyong a shadow of a doubt that a loving, mercyful and graceful God does exsist!

Thankful to my mercyful Lord I didn't even as much as tear and I recovered completetly and perfectly from bringing our third miracle our Baby Nicholas into the world!  And I'm already looking forward to my next birthing experience, and yes I will attempt natural birth once more.  This last experience prooved to me that my body indeed has the amazing ability to do what God created it to do and it gave me renewed love, respect and pride for that Female body of mine!

To my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ be all the Glory and Praise!! 

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I went back to the Doc's today and he told me that I've finaly made more progress!  He doubts that he will have to induce and I'm praying he won't.  I told him about my fears of hemorrageing a third time and he agreed to wait until the 42nd week.  He did a stripping of membranes (procedure to try to induce labor) and I pray that works. 

I was remembering that 6 years ago today at 7am I was inudced to have my first baby girl!  I didn't have her until 1:45 pm the next day (total of 32 hours labor!).  It would be so cute if I have this baby tomorrow on my first girl's birthday.  She won't mind since she sais this baby boy is her birthday present from God. 

The Lord's will be done! 

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I went to the doc today and he said everything is still the same!  I can't believe that after a week of contractions and even some bleeding nothing has changed (except I'm 1/2 cm more ).  I was sure I'd made more progress, SIGH!  Oh well, I know this baby will come when God wills, the thing is that I don't want to be induced, not again Lord!!  I'm going to pray so much that doesn't happen.  I hated being induced with my first two girls,  plus I realy wanted to have a normal and natural birth.  Yeah, I know all that matters is that baby is healthy but the healthiest way to have him is natural.  This is a trial for me because I need to not be anxious about it and instead just give it to the Lord since it's something that is absolutely out of my hands.  The doc sais that he'll wait until a week after my due date to consider inducing which gives me 2 weeks to go into labor on my own.  The Lord's will be done!   

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It's been 4 days since I went to my Doc's and he told me labor had begun but as of this moment still no baby.  Well at least not in my arms instead of my belly.  I'm still contracting although those are random and unconsistent.  There are other things going on which like I said before are abit too graphic and personal to divulge here .  In my anxiety I've gone as far as to try Mexican old wives remedies for a lazy labor!   I've drank more Te de Manzanilla than I've ever had in my life (not to mention all the extra trips to the bathroom besides the usual 100 trips I take from being pregnant!).  I've eaten more Comino than there is in an Indian food buffet!  I've walked more miles in the past week than my swollen feet cared to walk.  Yet, I'm still here with my bulging belly trying with all of my heart to be patient.  What realy gives me the warm and fuzzies is seeing my whole family so eager to see this baby born too.   I think they are actualy more anxious than I am!!  From my dad in Spain who has called me everyday, to my family in Mexico who is praying for me, to my in-laws who drove from Laughlin in a rush Tuesday night, to my family here in California, I guess I could say this baby has the whole World in pins and needles!  Wow, so much love for my baby who noone has even met yet makes me feel blessed  beyond what I could even ask for!!

So this will be a long weekend as all eyes are on me and baby as we all wait for his birth.  Oh great, now I'm getting performance anxiety!

The Lord is good! 

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Yetserday was my little brother's wedding day.  It was so beautiful!  I can hardly belive that little boy who used to take apart our Barbie houses to make choo-choo trains out of the pillars is now a man with a wife. 

I felt so happy for him yesterday!  The wedding took place at the beach and the day could not have been more perfect.  The Lord truly made that day for them!  The sky was bright blue and clear, it was warm and breezy, the ocean was blue and the beach was wide open with hardly any body else on it  but us and the other guests.  My brother looked so handsome in his pure white Hawaiian shirt which perfectly matched his bride's Hawaiian princess gown.  We felt so relaxed lounging in our beach chairs as the kids played in the sand and the ocean all day.  My oldest girl was one of the flower girls.  She looked so cute dressed like a hula dancer complete with a coconut top and a pink grass skirt.  Her  gorgeous long brown wavy hair went perfectly with the whole look.   She couldn't wait to finaly call my brother's wife her new auntie.

We ate pizza since that is what my brother and his wife always ate at the beach on dates.  The cake was baked by one of my mom's friends and it was delicious!

The only sad part is that my dad was unable to be there because he lives in Spain.  

I pray he is able to come soon because we all miss him very much specialy at time like these!

All in all my brother's and his new wive's wedding day could not have been more perfect.  It was God's wedding gift to them for their faithfulness to Him and I know the rest of their lives will be the same because they both love the Lord! 

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After much prayer we've decided to enroll my daughter at the local charter school.   It will be the homeschool program.  For a long time I debated this in my mind because I didn't want us to be tied down to some school's rules and standards.  I also was skeptical because it is part of the public school system which I'm extremely against.  However recently I've met several families who are very satisfied with the school's homeschool program.  Also after reading the school's entire web site I've noticed that they seem to be quite flexible with their homeschooled students.  According to the web site each student is given the option to choose amongst hundreds of different curriculum opions for their education and their program is not a one-size-fits all curriculum like traditional publicschool.  For children k-8 these needs to be no sort of record keeping like grades and tests other than attendance if we choose not to.  Starting in the second grade however students must take the state's anual standards test but that is no big deal.  The web site also describes that each student is allowed to progress at her own lever in each subject which is very important to us.  The topper is that the school gives us a yearly budget to spend on the curriculum as we see fit for our daughter's education.

So we decided to try it out and if the charter school turns out to be wrong for us after all we can always unenroll her.

We'll let the Lord be our guide.

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Man, I can't wait till the baby is born. I feel soooo heavy and I still have 3 months to go!!!  My hubby and I have been redecorting our house and cleaning up before baby gets here and I feel like if I have a 30lb watermelon attached to my belly which makes me very tired!  I also can't wait to get back to the gym.  I loooove the euphoric feeling after a great workout!  Not to mention the awesome high I get when my fave jeans can actualy slip past my butt once again, which probably won't happen for many months after baby is born =-(.  Until then I'm just thanking God that my baby is growing healthy and that my biggest woes are only my aching back, a pinched siatic nerve, a squashed bladder which is brused from being kicked like a soccer ball all day and my sore stomach which can only hold about 3 bites of food before it gets big enough for my ribs to dig into it.  Ahhh, the joys of motherhood, and I sure feel blessed!  I REALY do!   

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Many of the greatest lessons the Lord has taught me about Himself have been through my children.  Today he showed me such a lesson.  This morning as I got my girls dressed for the day my oldest decided she wanted to wear her prety butterfly overalls to play outside.  My yourger girl being the ever so admiring fan of her older sister also wanted to wear her preaty overalls just like her.  As I tried to change her from her pijamas to her tank top to wear under her overalls she began to throw a tantrum.  She was so eager to wear her overalls that she just wanted me to put them on right away over her nightgound instead of letting me put on her top first.  I tried to explain to her that in order for her to wear her overalls she must put on her top firt.  But with all her wailing she didn't hear me explain that to her and instead only thought that I didn't want to put her overalls on and that I wanted her to wear something else.  With as much patience as I humanly could muster I fought against her struggles and tried to ignore her cries while I took off her nightgownd and put on her tank top (it's real tricky to slide little wiggly and tense arms through spagheti straps!).   Then as quckly as I could I grabed her overalls and I showed her that now she was ready to put them on.  As if by a miracle her waillings stoped and a big smile instantly appeared when she realised that indeed my intents all along were to put her overalls on.  So we quckly got them on and away she went following behind her big sis giggling all along.

How many times in life do I act like my baby girl with God?  Many times!  Like my girl I always think I know exactly what I want and I always want it now.  I ask and pray like a good girl asking my Father in Heaven for my wishes and of course I also ask for His will above all.  But is that what I realy want, His will?  When He doesn't answer my prayer right away or not in the way I think He should just like my baby girl I also start to throw tantrums and begin in untrusting desperation to whine, wail and struggle agaisnt what God is trying to do.  Like my daughter didn't trust that I knew exactly what she wanted and how she needed to be prepared with a tanktop on before she could wear he overalls I also fail to trust that the Lord knows what He is doing when things don't go my way and when I want them to.  Like my daughter I because of my tantrums fail to hear what the Lord is telling me which is to have peace in Him and to trust that He is doing what is best for me and for His glory.  I too fight and struggle agaist Him and instead of patiently allowing Him to "dress me" my stuggles may even delay His work.  But thankfuly He being the ever loving and patient Father and despite my fights and cries He continues on with His work in me until eventualy I understand that He indeed is working for me and not against me, just like when my baby girl finaly undestood that all along I planned on putting her overalls on her and that I wasn't working agaisnt her!

How comforting it is to know that our Heavenly Father loves us more even than the immense love that any human mother like myself can have for her children and that His patience with us even in our tantrums is never ending.

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I must say that Bella has given us a plesant surprise.  It took her less than one day to potty train!  About 2 weeks ago I thought it would be about time to begin a more formal potty training regimen.  Bella got to wear big girl undies like her sis and that got her realy excited.  I thought that even though she was eager to use real panties insted of diapers that she would take months to realy get the hang of going potty before she wet herself.  That first morning I did go through several pairs of panties, but by the afternoon she was telling me she needed to go potty and has done so ever since!  Needless to say it was a gret relief to have her out of diapers much sooner than we ever expected.   With Bella I've been more lax about potty trining her than with Rosie.  With Rosie we had her out of diapers during the day before her 2nd birth day and out of diapers all togethr by the time she was 2 1/2.  It was never a stressful time since she was ready and willing just like Bella is now.  With Bella I had casualy been potty training her since she turned one but with two kids and a household to run time flew and before I knew it I became pregnant again and thought that it would be nice if I could have her out of diapers before baby Nick arrived if possible. 

Bella still has accidents here and there and she still needs diapers during the night, but she's very proud to be a big girl just like "tister" and so are we.

The next step for her in becoming a big girl is weaning from nursing.  I'm a firm believer that if possible babies should self wean.  I tried that with my oldest and after Bella was born I nursed her for about 3 more months until on her own she stopped nursing.  It was such a peaceful and plesant process to allow her to stop when she was ready to stop and not to force her to wean and have to go through the torture of it like so many stories I've heard.  I think that helped her not to feel as if  Bella was replacing her, instead she saw that mommy could be shared equaly by both and that I wasn't going to push Rosie away to make room for Bella in anyway, even for nursing.  I plan to do the same with Bella when the new baby is born and if God wills the weaning process will be just as peaceful this time around.

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I've been spending the past couple of weeks glued to the internet searching for a math curriculum.  There are so many options that the search can get a bit overwhealming.  I managed to narrow it down to two options which I think seem like good programs and will fit my children's learning style.  My kids are not the sit and just listen type.  It might be because they are still so young or maybe because they inherited my husband's and mine approach to learning.  We are very hands on and learn better by watching and participating, which is why school was for both of us tedious and not very educational.  I have a feeling my kids are the same way.  I can't fathom the thought of my poor babies locked up in a class for hours lathargicaly and blankly staring at a black board while hearing nothing but "blah, blah, blah" from their teaches.  Yuck, that though brings back memories!

Anyways, the two math curriculum I think will fit the bill are Math U-See and Horizons.  Both emphasise learning by using manipulatives and workbooks instead of text books.  MUS uses blocks we must purchase from the company to make math concepts visible and tangible to the kids.  Horizons uses real life materials to do the same.  I'm leaning toward purchasing MUS because the way the blocks are used seems a very good yet simple way for chidren to visualise math.  I think using blocks instead of several types of materials will help my kids focus on the math instead of the objects themselves.  There are other reasons why MUS seems the better choice.  The price for both will be about the same, but for MUS the blocks can be used through out the elementary program.  Even though the workbooks are not colorful like Horizons the program comes with video instructions and we can purchase song which incorporate the Bible with math and I absolutely love that.  I ordered a sample DVD and am eager to watch it!  If I like what the demo DVD shows then we will purchase that program for sure.

Next I will be searching for a grammar program as well as books on history and science which like the MUS music incorporates a Biblical point of view including Creation. 

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Yeaterday I had my second ultrasound and we found out we are having a little Nick Jr.!

We are very excited to have our first baby boy.  No one is more excited than big sister Rosie.  All day long yeaterday she was singing "It's a baby boy, it's a baby boy!".   She told us that she had been praying for a brother and that Jesus answered her prayers. I wouldn't doubt that since just a few weeks after she told us she was praying for another baby I got pregnant, lol!

We are praising the Lord that according to the ultrasound baby Nick is absolutely perfect with no physical problems.  Another perfect baby!!   Words can not express the greatfulness we feel toward God that all of our babies have been healthy. 

We eagerly wait for October when our new baby boy will be born, God willing!

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Today I had my first ultrasound.  OMGosh the baby looked sooooooo cute!  I saw her/his heart beat and the shape of her/his little body, legs and arms.  What a precious tiny human being!  She/he even moved for mamma.  I took a sigh of relief knowing that baby is growing well with no problems.  It's still too early to tell the gender.  We  need to wait about 9 weeks to find that out.  I also found out I'm due earlier than expected, on October 26 which is one day after my oldest girl's birthday and one day before mine.  We're so happy and feel very blessed!!!!  Thank you Lord!

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I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:16-19

One thing that God has taught me during my walk with Him is how to enjoy this ride of life.  My dad reffers to it as the "Roller Coaster" because of it's many highs and dips, and sedden twists and turns.  My life like everyone else's has been full of thrills and chills, but not until I became a true Born Again believer in Christ have I been able to take this ride and learn to enjoy it with out fear.  Before I was saved I believed in God and in Jesus according to what I was taught.  Other than Sunday Mass I never picked up the Bible and read it.  It was all hyrogliphics to me.  I prayed when I was desperate for something but otherwise I lived my life how I wanted and in my own terms.  I was never an atheist by philosophy only by action since I truly acted like if there was no God to be accountable to.  But when trouble hit, I was terrified because I knew that even if I prayed I was the one in control of my own life and I somehow knew that my power was limited.  So like any other unbeliever I learned to seek the easy, and more pleasurable way of life (or so I thought).  Finaly at 18 years old the Lord showed Himself to me in a clearer way than ever and I recieved Him as my Lord and Savior.  The damage had been done though and I was used to carving out my own path.  It took years for the Lord to show me truly what it meant to give all of my life to Him.  I was so used to being in the driver's seat that although I knew who God was and that all He wanted was the best for me it still became very hard to let go of my control.  I wanted to be the operator of the roller coaster because I was afraid of where He might take me and that I would not like it.  It's been just in the past 5 years or so that this roller coaster took sveral terrifying twists.  Through those God showed me two things.  One, that I obviously didn't know as well as I thought I did how to control my life, and two that in order for me to have real peace, joy and fullfilment I had to just let go and let Christ drive.  That was hard to do, much harder than I even thought it could be.  There were times when things seemed to be going great and life was exciting and full of possibilities, then the dip came and everything just crashed and shattered.  Never before have I've gone through so much excitement followed by tremendous dissapointment.  I often cried myself to sleep wondering what many people do when they feel out of control "What have I done to deserve this Lord, haven't I've been your child?  I thought you loved me?"  What a selfish and prideful question.  Of course I truly had not been completly obedient.  Not only had I done much to deserve the troubles I was in but also enough to deserve Hell itself yet by His Grace and Mercy I'm getting Heaven.  I even told the Lod that if He was just building me up to crush me over and over again than I'd rather Him just not give me any dreams and hopes and I would just crawl into a ball and wait to die.  Pathetic I know. I was mourning my loss of control, which meant that God's plan was working!  He was shaking me up with all those twists and turns so that I would finally loosen my grip and let go.  

For the last couple of weeks Nick and I have been acending one of those hills in the rollercoaster.  Several opportunities and blessings have come up on us that have given us hopes and dreams anew.  That's how it always goes.  As we just go about norman life suddenly, what seems out of the blue, some wondeful oportunity arises for us.  Our intentions always are to serve Christ and to be content with whatever circumstance we're in.  But as I have learned I've not always been faithful at that.  When this current blessings began to arrive my cynical human self though "Ok let's not get too excited now, you know what can happen."  But this time, even to my own surprise and probably for the first time in my life I honestly replied "No matter what happens, even if things don't work out according to what we want, I know that the Lord is in control and life will be good for us because Christ loves us."  Wow, am I truly beileving that?!  I've repeated that quote to many people since I've become a Christian whenever they've come to me for encouragement, but not until now have I believed and practiced it for myself. 

Have I finaly truly let go and let God be in control with joy and peace?

Well, since the day when I forfitted this situation to Him all our plans seems to be falling into place perfectly.  Who would have thought?  When I let God be in control things just happen so naturaly and perfectly.  A big "DUH"!

What if things fall through and we head down another dip and crash?  Will I sink into a pityful and prideful pit of despair and curse God?  I realy don't think so, not this time.  I think the Lord finaly got through to me.  If things take a course other than what we hope although my intitial humn responce will be dissapointment I think that this time I will just sit back, go with the flow and just enjoy the ride.  I'm not in control, the Lord is. And that feels great! 

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This is a comment I left in another blogger's page.  I'm reposting it here because this is my current opinion and what I plan on teaching my kids.  Maybe I'll change some of my thoughts as I grow in the Lord and mature in my walk or maybe I won't, but as of now this is what I think:

I think it's great that you speak your mind specialy regarding such a hot and controvercial topic. I dissagree with you in regards that war in general is wrong because innocent people die. We live in a sinful world (just like in the Old Testament) with sinful people in power and sadly many times the only way to fight against them is through violence? It's horrorific that children are killed by war and I'm sure the Lord weeps for them, but don't forget that many of those extreme Muslims wouldn't think twice about murdering our children. I'm not advocating revenge, I'm just stating a fact. I still haven't made up my mind up about this particular war. I don't trust the media one bit. I think those with power in the media are decietful and show us whatever they want us to see to strengthen their own agenda. They brain wash us. I've tried to study and research both sides of the argument and honestly both leave me unconviced. I know that politics are much more coplicated than we can ever know. I belive that only rarely does a real godly person get into power in this world. In my opinion both the Democrats and Republicans have curruption and hypocracy. What can we do then if we don't have the power or money that the politicians and media do? Vote? I don't fully trust in that either although my family does practice that right. The best weapon we have is prayer. Politics might fustrate me but I am not afraid because I know that the Lord is in the Throne no matter who runs the White House. The power I have in prayer is more poweful than any politician's rule. I pray for justice for the oppressed and abused and that the Lord's will and glory be done on earth as it is in Heaven. I pray for wisdom for the world's leaders and for their salvation. I pray for Christ's return because only when he destroys evil in this earth will there be peace. I also pray that I never get caught up in needless arguments and instead I concern myself with Christ's work through me to help those in need with love which surpasses any political views. You can read all over the Bible there are times when God sanctions war and even the death of children. You say we don't live in Old Testament times but tell me what is the difference between evil world leaders then and evil world leaders now. Yes, Christ died for sin, but that can only change those who chose to belive it. Did Hittler change from Christ's death just because he lived after it happened? No. He was defeated by war. Don't forget the book of Revelation which states that God Himself will destroy millions of evil people, just like in the Old Testament. I'm sure that will include children. Also, I can't help but to think about how I would deffend my own family. If a person came into my home and tried to hurt my kids in anyway I will do whatever it took to deffend their lives even if that requires me to kill that person. So although I'm neither pro or anti Bush or this war I do know that many times the only way to stop those who chose to do continual evil is by war.

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