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My mom today told me that she would help me with teaching the girls music. I'm so happy she's going to do that for us. Music is her passion and I know my girls will have fun with grandma. I want them to learn to read music and to play at least one instrument. My mom wants to teach them precusion but I also want them to learn the piano. They will get to chose what instruument they want to learn. There are so many benefits from learning how to read and play music. Learning music involves dicipline, math and it's just like learning another language. I feel blessed to have my mom who knows about music and can help us with homeschooling our girls! |
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We'll, lately I've been finding it hard to stick to the lesson plans I make every week. Everyday I'm well intentioned but if it's not one thing it's another and before I know it the day is over and Rosie barely gets one or two worksheets done. I'm not too worried yet since she's only in "kindergarden". At this age she learns mostly by play and everyday life experiences. Also her attention span in about 20 minutes at a time, at most. However the summer is coming along quick and I need to find a curriculum by then. We're planning to attend a homeschool convention and I'm realy looking forward to that. Yesterday I came across a curriculum that claims to have all we need from K to 12 in just one cd. I wonder if it's good? I need a curriculum that can provide me with guidance yet is flexible enough to where I can use my own ideas as well. I want a sort of map that I can follow to make sure I'm taking my kids in the right direction. I don't want to join an academy or a private school because I don't want the pressure of forcing my kids to meet certain standars for some school. I want them to go at their own pace. We will continue to pray that the Lord guides us to find the best curriculum for our family. In the mean time I will continue to do my best to follow my own homemade plan. |
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I've been praying for a way to teach our children about money and how to be good stewards of it. This morning I thought of a way to show them not only the principles of handling money but also how to use it practicaly. The way I learned about money is by watching my parents. From as far as I could remember I observed their choises with money both the good and the bad. When I was old enough I begaan to analise their choises and I decided on what I thought were good and not so good ways of dealing with money. Then when I became a Christian I realised that the Bible would be my primary guide. In my early 20's my husband and I made some very wrong choises with money that went against what I had learned and Scripture said was wise. Those experiences served to teach me that no sinful choice goes with out it's concequence no matter how small the choice was or how "well intentioned". So with our children I decided to use both a combination of teaching them from our mistakes as well as us getting actively involved with how they handle money. Right now the way Rosie earns money is through doing chores plus she gets a few dollars from every tooth she loses (no tooth fary though, she knows where her money comefrom). I'm planning a sort of bank system. I still need to think of the details but basicaly I want to show her the benefits of good stewardship with money and the reward that can bring. I would like to impliment a way for her to earn interest in the money that she saves. Maybe for every dollar that she saves a month she'll earn 10 cents interest. Of course I want to teach her the importance of tithing and helping those less fotunate. I think by practicing good money habits instead of just talking to her about them she will learn better about the benefits of handling money wisely and the concequences (which can range from material to emotional and even spiritual) from making bad choices with money. Currently she only has $3 in the "bank" from a tooth she lost a couple of days ago. On Monday I will start again on the chore chart (which she loves to do!). I also want us to pray before making any decitions of how she'll spend her money and I want us to work toward goals for that money. |
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I often think about weather or not I'm doing all God wills for me in my life. Am I heeding His calling for me? Or am I taking a path of my own choosing which is whatever feels easier or more comfortable for me? Right now I just feel so...well...full (for a lack of a better word) with my little kids and hubby. I was in the prayer chain at church which was a great blessing but after I began to "formaly" homeschool my daughter it became so hard to take calls and to continue the chain. While I was trying to pray I had two screaming kids in the background fighting for my attention and then ususaly I got a call while I was in the middle of doing something like cooking or in the bathroom. So by the time I finished what I was doing I forgot to call the next person and it just became a mess. I prayed and decided to just quit that for now because I couldn't give it my full attention as I should. I felt guilty for a while but then yesterday I read a devotion that gave me peace about my decition to leave the prayer chain. It basicaly said that the Lord gave us our own ministries and that we need to give our full selves to whatever God hands us. We are not to be wishing for anything more than that. God knows how and why He chooses us for His work. The Lord showed me that at the moment my family is my ministry and that I should not be worried about doing more. I should just concentrate on being the best wife and mother I can be in the Lord. When the Lord knows I'm ready He will allow me to do more works for Him. And it won't be a burden but a great blessing in my life and that of my family. That was a huge gorrilla off my back that revelation was to me! Every time the Lord shows me another brick I can remove from my bag of burdens I want to shout with joy and relief. I know I'm supposed to give all my burdens to Christ at once, but as a human being (a foolish one) I still want to have a firm grasp that bag of excess weight. Day by day the Lord gently lossens my grip on those burdens and day by day my load gets easier if I allow His promise that His yolk is easy and His burden is light to come true in my life. I confess there are still huge bricks that for some stupid reason (pride I know is huge in me still!!) I find it hard to just let go of. I know exactly what the Apostole Paul meant when he said that he does what he doesn't want to do and what he wants to do he doesn't do. So for now I know that I'm not superwoman who can do it all, but I am God's daughter whom He loves and that I never have to earn His love. All I have to do is let go and recieve it and to heed whatever calling He has given me. I just live for the day when I hope to hear "Well done good and faithful servant." What more reward could a child want to recieve from her Heavenly Father? None could be greater! |
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Yesterday I found out that I'm pregnant!!! We're so happy to be expecting our third baby! I had been suspecting this for a few days but I didn't want to mention anything to Nick until I knew for sure. I thought it would be a wondeful present for him to find out on his birthday, and God worked things out perfectly for me to be able to do that. Yesteday morning after Nick went to work I went to the clinic to take a pregnancy test. I didn't want to get my hopes up because I had false alarms before. When the doctor said I was indeed pregnant Rosie (who was with me) and I got so excited and happy. We could hardly contain the news but we did because I wanted Nick to be the first to know. I had to stop myself from telling everyone we saw all morning! Finaly we went to pick Nick up from work and Rosie told him "Daddy, we have a birthday surprise for you!" Of course Nick had no idea what it was, but he sure wasn't expecting this. Rosie was too nervous to tell him and so I did. He asked me like three times if I was serious (like I would joke about something like that! LoL). He was so happy! Rosie went on to tell everyone else about the great news. My mom was extatic as always that she's gonna have another grand baby. Licha and Bob were happy too. They told me they were expecting it because Heidi (my sis in-law) is also pregnant and it never fails that when she's expecting a baby someone else in the family is too. Well, I guess at 600 miles away she's still contagious, ha ha. This morning I called my dad in Spain and he said he feels so much joy that another grandbaby is on the way, but very sad that he's so far away. He was there at both my other births and I'm praying that God provides a way for him to come down here for this one. I'm due sometime at the begining of November which is realy close to Rosie's birthday. I'm also looking for a midwife because I'm so sick of hospitals and most doctors treat preganacy like a disease instead of something natural. We are parising the Lord for this wonderful and amazing blessing!! Thank you Lord! |
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The other day we were taking a nice drive in the country when suddenly Rosie tells us "You know, I plan to die as a baby so when I do please mom and dad don't be worried. I'm going with Jesus so you don't have to be sad." Of course that was a shoking statement, but what realy struck me was not that she said she was planning to die as a baby, but that at 5 years old she had the precence of mind to think about our feelings if she did die. My first feeling was to tell her not to say things like that, but then I rethought my responce and told her that no one knows when he or she will die. Only God knows for sure. Second I told her that I pray that we die before her and Bella but if God wants to take her home first although we would be very sad because we would miss her, we would know that she is in a much better place with Jesus. She kept insisting that she didn't want us to be sad but happy that she was in heaven. So I just reassured her that we would be happy for that. Through out her life Rosie has made many statements that have shocked me. Not so much because of the content of what she said, but mostly because of the age she would say them. For example, I remember when I was pregnant with Bella I would show her books that would explain how babies are created. I thought that she realy didn't understand much of what I read to her, but then she began to tell everyone that hormones are what make a baby a boy or a girl. Before I had kids I though of them as being simple minded people. As a Christian I knew already that we weren't born blank slates, but I never knew how a child is very capeable of reflection and critical thinking at a very young age. Like many people with no kids, I thought it would be so simple to teach them what I wanted them to know and shape them to be exactly the people I wanted them to be. Like little dogs, I thought that if I followed a few simple rules I could train them to do what I wanted them to. I used to look at parents struggling with kids in public places and think "All those brats need is a good whack in the rear and they will learn their lesson. What a couple of pushovers those parents are. Wouldn't be surprised if their kids ended up in America's Most Wanted". Like many childless people I was very arrogant and selfassured that my parenting skills would be much better, despite the fact that I've never had any kids. I even commited the mortal sin of offering unwarranted advise to a parents who I thought needed my wisdom. The joke was on me!!! Soon after Rosie was born I learned quckly and quite aburptly that kids are not stupid animals waiting for us to mold them. On the contrary, the Bible was proven right once again that human being are born sinners. My baby from just a few weeks old resisted our loving attempts to mold her to our will. At 1 month old she absolutely refused to be dressed in her preatty Thankgiving outfit and she made her objection known by letting out a loud shreak that was heard even outside of the house. Rosie also hated to be held in the cradle position. Her daddy wanted to hold her "like a baby" as he said, but she refused to be in a position where she couldn't see what was going on aroung her. All this before she could even hold her head up on her own! All my confidence in being the best mother in the world went to the trash along with all the poopy diapers. I never felt so helpless in my life! All the plans and techniques we were goig to inplement with our baby and which we knew would make her a future Nobel Prize Winner were absolutely good for nothing when Rosie at only 2 months old caused us to get off the freeway because she was crying so hard we thought she was dieing. It turned out she just wanted out of her car seat! After that I cried myself many a night to sleep from the fear that my child would turn out to be one of the most famous serial killers of the next decade or a teen mother with 3 kids by the age of 16 going on a talk show to test 50 men for paternity of those kids. I went from being a cocky childless woman to a weak blob of jello wondering why God allowed such a failure like me to reproduce at all. Maybe all that drama was just the postpregnancy hormones, but I felt truly lost. Then I began to read Scripture and doing a lot of praying. The Lord showed me many things through my kids. First he taught me that we were all fearfuly and wonderfuly made in His immage which meant that from the moment of conception we are unique and not by any chance just a bunch of stupid animals. God prooved His amazing creaivity and beauty by gaving each and everyone of us a distinct personality from the moment we were fashioned in our mother's womb. When Bella was born I immediately noticed the tremendous difference in temperments and personalities between her and Rosie, and and as their parents Nick and I have have spent all of their little lives learning to navigate through their differences and how to use their uniqe reactions to life to guide them in and to lead them to Christ. God also taught me that besides making each of use unique He also gave us free will and the ability to chose our own course, even as infants. We are born sinners which means we are born with the desire to take the crooked path, but as parents our job is to be like braces to crooked teeth. We are to straighten our kids as they lean the wrong way. It's not a one time deal though, the job is a second by second task. Everytime Rosie or Bella misbehave in anyway and we notice them leaning it is our job to quickly and swiftly straighten them out because if we don't with each missed opportunity it gets harder and harder to straighten them out and the more crooked they become. Eventualy those human beings will harden as adults and become set in whatever state they were allowed to by their parents. Then only God Himself can tear down and rebuild a person. One thought that relieved a huge burden off my soul is that my job is to lead my children in the Lord's way but in the end they are free to practice their own free will. In this scociety we live in shrinks have convinved people that their problems are realy their parents fault and that they are just poor victims of circumstance and poor parenting. That's a bunch of bolony! Sure, there is evil in this world and many poor innocent kids suffer horrors as they are growing up but that doesn't take away their resposibility on how they react to their terrible circumstances. Over and over we hear of kids who lived terrible childhoods who go on to become successful, God fearing adults that change their world for the better of humanity. And we also often hear of children who lived what one would consider a normal childhood and were brought up by godly parents yet they ended up as adults commiting all sorts of evil against many people. The Lord taught me that I'm to be obedient to Him and to raise my children with al the love I have for them the best that I can, and the rest is up to Him and most importantly them. I am to nurture any gifts God has endowed up on them and to encourage them in life, but in the end it will be their own resposibility to chose or to regect Christ and to live a godly life. Since the birth of Rosie the Lord has shown me a wealth of knowledge but like the saying goes "The more I learn the more I realise how little I do know." God has humbled me like I've never been humbled before just by allowing me to be a mother. Of course I still fail everyday and my poor children suffer the concequenses of my inperfections, and I'm sure they always will. Yet I know that although my babies are so little they are not just thoughtless pices of flesh, but are thinking beings who God has gifted with wisdom of their own. Like our Lord Jesus Christ himself said that we must have "faith like a child" and we must pay attention to what comes "from the mouth of babes". He knew that children are no less in the eyes of God in anyway than us o-so-smart adults. Now when a childess person gives me uncolicited advise, first I honestly have to restrain the urge to smack them, then when tha urge passes I just politely smile and thank them for the tip. In my mind I giggle and think about what is waiting for them after they have children of their own, and not just the challenges, fears and humulity, but also the wealth of real wisdom that can only come from being blessed with parenthood.
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Today is my our Isabella's second birthday. I can't believe it's been two years since the Lord blessed us with this precious little girl. I remember how peaceful her birth was. It lasted only 8 hours and the whole time we were all anxiously awaiting her arrival. Big sister Rosie was eager to meet her new baby sister! She was three at the time yet she fully understood what was happening. For the past 9 months or so we spent much time reading about babies and as Bella grew in my belly and we loved to keep up with her progress by reading books on how babies grow week by week. That's when Rosie decided she would become a doctor, lol. My pregnancy was perfect! Both times I've been blessed with healthy pregnancies. Then after much anticipating the day finaly came for Isabella to be born. The doctor decided to induce me bcause I was past my due date. I remember waking up early the morning of Bella's birth excited that the day had finaly come for our second baby to be born. Big sister Rosie satayed with her grandma Licha and would meet us latter that day at the hospital. I wondered if this birth would last over 32 hours like my first one. This time I was prepared for the birth since I knew what was to come. I also think I enjoyed the pregnancy more the second time around because when I was preganant with Rosie it felt unreal almost like a dream until she was born. With Bella I was able to enjoy the pregnancy and just praise God for the miracle growing within me. A life with in a life is a wonder to me! Wow! As the day of Bella's birth went on the rest of the family joined Nick and I at the hospital. Grandma Rosa and Grandpa Jose were there, also Grandma Licha and Grandpa Bob. Uncle Jose was there too and Auntie Stephanie skipped school that day to make sure she didn't miss a thing. Auntie Beatty barely made it in time after work to be there when Bella was born. I wanted to have a natural pain killer free birth but I found it impossible to bear the pain of birth that comes from being induced which is far worse than when the birth is not induced. I decided not to torture myself by enduring the intence pain and opted for the epidural as soon as they offered it to me. I was glad I did! The rest of the labor was great. I felt so relaxed and I was able to enjoy my family's company. After a few hours I thought it would be a good idea that Rosie go home and take a nap because she seemed to be getting tired. But she absolutely refused to leave me and so she got in bed with me and stayed for the rest of my labor. Thankfuly the hospital staff was kind enough to allow her to be with me until it was time for me to give birth. Suddenly before I knew it I was 10cm and it was time for Bella to arrive! I was plesantly surprised that only 8 hours had passed since I began the enduction. I remember the urge to push came sudden and strong. The nurses kept telling me to stop pushing and wait until the Doc got there but i just thought that was one of the most illogical requests to make a mother in the throws of labor!! That's like asking someone to hold their cough or to ask someone with diareah to hold it. about five minutes latter Dr.Byrne came rushing in. Someone latter told me she has seen him running across the parking lot to get to me quick. That seemed cool to me, hee hee, I felt special. Of course when he got there the urge to push stoped for a few minutes, and he told the nurse that he thought I was ready. I told him emphaticaly that I was very much ready to push this baby out. Just then the urge came back and with in 15 minutes and just a few pushes my precious baby Isabella came into the world!!! Nick and I will be eternaly greatful to the good Lord for bringing Isabella into lives! Since then it has been a true pleasure being Bella's mother. She is one of the sweetests souls I know. Bella can't even have a potao chip with out sharing it with her Big Sister. She loves to discover and is constantly observing the world around her. Her favorote types of toys are balls, cars and airplanes and is facinated by the way they work. Her gentle personality and petite frame remind me of a little porcelin doll. She loves to make us laugh. Although she's very plesant to be around she's also very determined and is never afraid to try something new. She has her daddy wraped around her little finger and if he could he would give her the universe at her request! Bella and I have the same tastes in food and she will eat all the strange exotic foods I enjoy eating. Boy, I can write a book on my baby princess!! In this day when we remember her birth we also want to celebrate the tremendous blessing Bella has been to us and we ask the Lord that He allows us to be blessed with her precence for the rest of our lives. Our greatest hope and prayer for her is that no matter what path she decides to take in life she makes Christ her God, Lord and Savior and that she allows Him to be her guide on that journey!! To our Bella our Baby Doll; Daddy and I love you our sweet sweet baby, now and for all of eternity! |
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This week we'll finaly begin our animals through the alphabet. I planned to begin last week but many things came up which thwarted my plans. This week we're studying Ants. I have many activities planned so that Rosie can learn about them. We're also continuing our reading book "The Secret Garden". We read the first chapter yesterdy and Rosie seemd to enjoy the story. She particularly found interesting how poor little Mary Lennox was ingnored by her beautiful mother and how that had made Mary a bitter, mean, spoiled uncaring and ugly little girl. She asked me many questions about Mary. When I first told her that Mary's parents gave her whatever she wanted because they wanted her out of the way Rosie thought it was a good idea. Of course she liked the fact that Mary got whatever she wanted. Then I explained to her that even though Mary got everything material she asked for she didn't get any love from her mommy and daddy and I pointed out to her that no matter how many of her desires were granted she still became a very angry and sad little girl because what she realy wanted was her parents love. I also incorporated God's love for us and how even though the people in Mary's life didn't want her that she could find that love and acceptance from the Lord who would never abandon her. I thought that was a wonderful lesson for Rosie! I'm eager to see what Rosie thinks of Mary's change as the story goes along. We'll also review north, south, east and west for geography as well as California. Rosie learned last week. this weeks reading/spelling words are Mom, Dad, Sister, and Baby. We've done these bofore but I like to review words to make sure she knows them well. This time I'll have her make up and write sentences using these words. Math for the week will just be practiceing addition and writing numbers. The cooking and culture lesson for the week will be Apple Pie and what it symbolises to the American culture. |
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Today I taught Rosie how to make my favorite dish called Poke. We first ate Poke on a trip to Hawaii about 3 years ago and ever sine then I became an addict! It's a dish of fresh raw Ahi Tuna that is a staple of Hawaiian festivities. I'm writing this as I enjoy the flavor of this delicious delicacy that I know had to be an inspiration from God himself to who ever created it. I enjoy sharing different kinds of flavors with my children from all parts of the world whenever possible. I'm glad to say that this dish is a hit with my Rosie and Bella! Nick's taste in cusine is not as vast as mine which is why I don't prepare these sorts of exitic dishes as our main meal, but I must give him credit because he is adventurous enough to try everything I offer him at least once. Rosie and I took this opportunity to read a little about the history of Poke and Hawaii. We deffenately are enjoying today's lesson, yummy!! Here is a little of what we learned today as well as the basic recepie for Poke:
The first Polynesians began arriving from the Marquesas in about 600 or 700 AD; then from the Society Islands came another migration in about 1100 AD. With them they brought many ingredients not indigenous to the Hawaiian islands, such as breadfruit. As an Island culture, the Hawaiians are dependent on the sea for much of their diet as evident by their love of Poke or Ahi which is similar to a Ceviche, Mahi mahi and Tako. Among the Hawaiian people, it is customary to celebrate auspicious occasions with a lu'au or great feast. Once called the aha'aina, the feast had spiritual significance; it was thought that they were sharing a meal with the gods. Native cuisine until the arrival of European settlers in the 1800's was, like most Polynesian cuisine, extremely low fat. With the arrival of pigs on the island and later Spam this would change the typical native's diet, sometimes gravely. There is some momentum to return to a more traditional diet as natives are suffering from heretofore unknown epidemics of diabetes, strokes and heart attacks much like Native American cuisine whose pre-conquest diet has been replaced with things like untraditional Indian fry bread.
Poke 1-1/4 pounds fresh ahi, cubed into bite-sized pieces |
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Last night our daughter finaly slept in her own room! Yee pee! We are a very old fashioned family and we hold to many of our old Mexican ways of raising children. We belive that kids will naturaly move on to the next phase of their development and that pushing them will only yeild unecessary stress for the child and for us the parents. This is not a writen rule anywhear in our Mexican culture, it's just something that comes naturaly and I believe is God given. I love that Nick and I have been able to maintain that way of child rearing despite the fact that we were both raised in this very "every man for himself" culture. I think it's because our parents even though they were also raised in a modern culture never felt ashamed to do what came naturaly to them as human parents. Both our parents allowed us to sleep in their rooms until we on our own had the desire for independence. Not once did I cry myself to sleep bacuse my mom put me in my own room alone before I was ready. Same with my husband when he was a child. I must admit that at first I was hesitant to admit to people that we choose the old ways. One day however I realised that I shouldn't feel embarrased for raising my kids in a way that we believe is the more natural way. When I have admited that to some people my conffession has often been recieved with looks of confussion and the occational unscolisited advise about what someone read in some book by some shrink that children should be put in some sort of schedule or whatever. Yet once in a while someone would admit to me that they still let their older child sleep with them or that they still nurse their 3 year old too. I love to study cultures both past and present and I've come to realise that the one we live in is one of the oddest ones in the history on man kind. We are so artificial and we seek to please our selves sometimes even above our own children's needs. For excample, the universal weaning age from nursing is 4. But here in this society most moms stop nursing their babies at 6 months and ususaly out of convenience and not any real medical need! I believe that the Lord was wise in putting "instincs" with in us that guide us to make the best choices for our children. I chose to allow my Rosie to self wean, and to the probable surprise of many shrinks in this country my daughter didn't nurse forever. She stoped on her own about 3 months after Bella was born, with no pain and suffering for anyone. How peaceful that was! I plan to do the same with Bella and all of my children God willing. The same was with potty training. Rosie was ready to go on her own before age 2, but Bella is taking her own sweet time and thats fine with us. We of course encourage them in their development, but we try to never push beyond what we can tell they are ready for. I think that is why Homeschooling was so attractive to Nick and I as a way of education and lifestyle for our children. I think most Christian Homeschooling enbraces the philosophy that momma and daddy know best because the Creator knew best by endouing parents with inner wisdom in regards to what is best and natural for our children. So, when Rosie asked for it we gladly gave her her own room. We took her to Wal-Mart to pick out the color (which turned out to be one of the brightest pinks they carried), and now she happily resides in her own quaters with, again, out any needless pain and suffering. We'll do the same for our Bella when she is ready. Oh, and as far as Nick and I having private time, well that was not a problem for our parents and the proof is that both couples each had 4 kids. I guess Nick and I inherited their creativity, lol. I also will never push my ways of raising my kids on others even when I dissagree with their choices. I won't even comment on what I think is right and wrong unless my opinion is asked for because I know what it's like for people to judge my ways of thinking with out them even understanding my situation. So to each his and her own when it comes to briging up their kids, as long as it's with all the love they feel for those precious little beings. |
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This titles applies not only to me but to our children as well. My biggest fear is that my chidren regect Christ and die in that state. Nothing else in this universe gives me more terror than that. Lord please help Nick and I to be the godly parents you want us to be. We need and long for your wisdom, grace, patience, and loving dicipline to do this tremendous job you've blessed us with. Allow our children to understand that we their parents are human beings too who will make many mistakes and that they choose learn from those mistakes instead of repeating them. Lord, you know my own weaknesses and how daily I fail in someway at this awesome task of being a mother. I often see your love for my husband and me through our children because their love for us is so unconditional and full of grace at this tender age. Truly I understand from my little treasures what it means to have faith like a child. Thank you Lord for allowing us to be parents and to raise those precious beings who belong to you. Why you chose me, a filthy wreched sinner to care for your babies I will never know, however I do know that I will require all the wisdom you will to give me to raise these children to be people after your own heart. However I also know that this burden Lord is realy yours to bear which is why I can be their mother with out feeling like the weight of the world is in my shoulders. Thank you my Lord Jesus! |
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Sigh, last night I had one of those dreams I was disappointed to wake up from. I dreamed that I gave birth to another baby girl. In my dream I felt so much love for that baby. I can't remember all the details of the dream but I do remember that I gave birth to her at home (My labor only lasted a few minutes so we didn't make it to the hospital in time. Deffenately only in my dreams!) and the last scene I remember is someone, I think it was my husbnd, handing her over to me just after she was born. That's when I woke up and I had this big urge to hold her and felt sadness when I realised it was a dream. I immediately grabed my baby Bella and held her tight. The only thing that was a little disturbing was feeling dissapointed for just a second that I gave birth to a girl instead of a boy because in my dream we were expecting a boy. Right away I felt guilt for that and I felt greatful for the baby girl. Of course in real life Nick and I don't care what sex our babies are, but I suppose somewhear deep down in my phsyche I hope to some day be the mommy of a precious little boy. Also we named that baby girl Alexandra, which in real life is a name I've been considering for the next baby girl if the good Lord wills for us to have another one. God knows that it's up to Him whenever that next baby comes. I pray He blesses us with her or him very soon! |
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Ohhh, I woke up so sore from painting yesterday. I must have worked out some muscles I haven't moved in a long time, lol. Today is another day of fixing upping. We, well, I decided not to take on the whole house now. I just painted the walls where the wall paper was falling off and the ugly dark brown wall in the living room. I have a friend from Hawthorne coming over tomorrow and I don't think it'll be a good idea to begin painting the rest of the walls today since there is no way those will be ready by the time she comes. I am excited about her coming though. We haven't seen each other since highschool. Nancy, that's her name, is a make up artist and she asked me if I would volunteer for her portfolio. Of course I said yes, I mean what girl wouldn't want someone who's a proffessional to do her make up at least once in her life! I've seen her work and it's realy awesome. She gets her inspiration fron couture fashion and her style is very modern. What work of her's I've seen I wouldn't use normany but it is beautiful and I would wear it for an evening date with Nick or a special evening event. I told her that she should offer her talent to all the girls going to our reunion this year. I think we'll have fun tomorrow. Beatty is supposed to come over too and have Nancy work with her. So I better get to work on this house if I want it to be presentable for the company tomorrow. |
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Wow, I'm so tired today and it's only 11am! Nick and I have been busy for the past several weeks fixing up this house and yesterday we decided (with some regret now I might add) to paint the whole interior white. My inlaws used to live in this house and when they decided to move to West Virginia we decided to stay here because the rent is super cheap compared to the riddiculous prices houses are now a days. It isn't very big at all. It's a 3 bedroom so we have enough room for our little family. One bed room is the office that Nick can keep locked so the baby doesn't get into all the small office supplies and important paperwork (that's theoreticaly because since we instaled the lock she still managed to sneek in there when I wasn't looking and lose some important reciepts, hee hee). The larger of the two remaining bedrooms is Nick's and mine while the smaller room is the girls, however they never sleep in their room because they are scared. So we just set up a small mattres every night in our room for Rosie to sleep in and Bella stays in our bed. Yesterday Nick painted the girl's room a bright pink which Rosie picked out herself, and we hope that will persuade her to start sleeping in there, although I doubt it will be that easy to convince her to move out of our room and into hers. It's been about 3 and there is so much to do! I was surprised at how much work we still have considering this house is small. The painting is the worst for sure. This house has hedious1980's wood paneling on the walls which is our main motivation for painting the walls. My mother in law painted the kitchen cupboards a striking (not in a good way) canary yellow and it took me 2 hours to paint them an off white color. Yet like some evil stalker I can still see hits of the yellow peeking through the paint so I will have to go over them one more time. I might just win the battle with that stubborn canary yellow paint yet! The laundry nook is that same color too but I decided to pick my battles and just chose to skip that one. Instead I'm getting a curtain to cover the laundry nook and to hide those menacing yellow walls. Also my inlaws ( I do love them, realy) left the remenance of thieir male kitty's smell in the carpet so we need to get that cleaned too. In the mean time I've been spraying gallons of Fabreze into the carpet, which I've realised as I walk into the house and take a nice whiff has been in vain. So there are many monsters we need to tackle and beat in order to get this house into some sort of decent shape. At least all the problems are asthetic which we can handle. Lord, give us the energy, indurance, and continous inspiration to finish this progect we set out to acomplish. |
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This is my first blog entry on here. Since I was 10 years old I've kept diaries but this is the first on-line journal which I plan to keep up. I don't know, I guess there was always something akward to me about making my thoughts public. All the diaries I've writen through out my life are safely tucked away in some "secret" spot and I awlays hope that someday I will hand them over to my children for them to read. Now, however I feel more comfortable sharing some of my thoughts and feeling with other people. Lately the Lord has shown me how much I tend to keep my true feelings inside. I still don't fully undestand why I do that. As far as I could remember I've been a very private individual. I realy enjoy my privacy and by letting others know my true feelings I've felt like it is a violation of that. Maybe I do that because I'm afraid that if others know who I realy am then they will reject me. However since I've become a Christian the Lord has slowly been able to break that wall I'd built all of my life. Of course When I got married I had to learn to trust my husband with my whole self. Even till this day after 10 years of being in a relationship with Nick there are still parts of me I hesitate to share, but I know that I must in order for our relationship to be what it is meant to be. I know Nick loves me unconditionaly and he will never judge me or riddicule me, yet my own fears are still there. So writing this blog is a way for me to face those fears and to allow the Lord to continue to work on me. There is a quote my pastor said one day at church that realy struck me. He said "No matter what people do or say to you you must allow the Lord to devolop in you a tough hide with a soft heart." Oh boy, that struck me to my core! What he meant is that we must not let the things others do or say to us calus our hearts and make us fear love and trust. That is because no matter what any human beings do or say to us we should always know that the Lord will love us and in Him is where our true identity should lie. Most of my life my hide has been too soft and that has caused my heart to become hard so that trusting others with my true self had become very difficul. As I continue this blog I will allow the Lord to take away my fears and to remind me that I will always have His unconditional love because he created my soul just as He wanted! |