This weekend, my wife and her best friend went to a home school meeting together. That gave me the opportunity to watch over eight children for twenty four hours.
We started with the “BH Express” board meeting. To me, it was official. From the perspective of four boys and four girls all under the age of twelve, it was a...bored meeting. We quickly created three groups:
· Group One: Captain Nate and the Incredible Mr. E - two wise-guys quickly approaching age twelve, who make a living on pizza, pop and the war games they've created out of cards.
· Group 2: Chris's Angels - don't let the beauty of this pre-teen princess squad deceive you. These girls can make things happen. They play Polly pockets and poker like virtuous home-makers dealing the destiny of the future.
· Group 3: The Dream Team - this mixed group of less than eight includes Ms. Beth-utiful batting eyes, Muscle Mass missing four front teeth and the Gabester. They make any manly coach want to grab his blanky and suck thumb.
My rules were severe:
#1 Stay with your group.
#2 Give your Mommy a kiss and hug then tell her “I love you” before you create havoc.
#3 Party ‘til mom comes home!!!!!
I felt like Steve Martin in the recent film, Cheaper by the Dozen. He’s standing on the street corner in front of the “neighborhood” kids as a taxi driver escorts Bonnie Hunt to
I chauffeured the BH Express to our local YMCA for some free-style swimming. Our group being large enough to conquer
Anyway…the BH Express sounded off multiple times on the 15 minute drive to the Y. Did I mention the question was asked, “Are we there yet?” no less than thrice? Gimme a break! It’s only a quarter of an hour! We made our entrance to the
Finally, it was swim time. You know in the movies where everything is slow motion. Well, time stood still. There I was; leading the BH Express with inspirational music playing in the background. Every eye turns to look at the 9 of us cruising toward the water: Captain Nate and the Incredible Mr. E struttin’ in the goggles, Chris's Angels stylin’ in beach wear, The Dream Team tight in their safety vests, and me in my little Speedo…SCREEEEECH! Hold that thought...I’m joking. I don’t have a Speedo. My swim trunks are baggy. Really! You’re not getting my 227 pounds into one of those bun huggers. It’s embarrassing enough walking mostly naked in front of people I’ve never met. While I feel pretty good standing next to Shamoo, 28.1% body fat doesn’t float very well. Uh, it was swim time…Right?!?! Only 45 minutes?!?!?! I was on time! Well, we had fun. Nobody drown. Giggles and laughs. I had 9 minutes of floating while the Dream Team splashed in ankle deep water.
Afterward, the girls did their thing together in the women’s room and the guys showered and dressed as Men. It takes quit some time for Chris’s Angels co-staring Beth-utiful batting eyes to dress. Exactly enough time for male showers, drying, drying swim trunks, dressing, turning in keys, playing three checker games, multiple conversations why water is healthier and more economical than soda pop, a conversation with a high school friend…and a request to three elder women going in for swim aerobics pleading with Chris’s Angels and Ms. Beth-utiful batting eyes to please come out.
As the little ladies finished and the final checker game ended, we drove to the Longview Public Library. After everyone was out of the Bryant bus, I called for the BH Express to sound off. And to my surprise, we got it. Our mission was clear: One family video. We marched into the hush-zone nearly undetected by the mouths dropping and bedazzled stares. We quickly selected our film with only five vetos by Sergeant Bummer. I checked out, paid $5 for an overdue copy of Chariot’s of Fire that I didn’t view, and we piled back into the Suburban.
Back at the ranch, Gayle had prepared meat, potatoes and veggies in the crock-pot. Chris’s Angels arranged paper plates, cups and forks. The Dream Team got ready for bed. Captain Nate and the Incredible Mr. E prepared our theatrical presentation for the evening. Everyone lined up for the standard spread we thanked our Father for Gayle’s good grub and a safe refreshing trip for mommies and peaceful rest for the BH Express that evening. After strawberry short cake with whipped cream ala Gayle the kids went to bed…by 11.
I was expecting a satisfying middle of the bed night’s rest. But, with eight bladders, one emptying per hour, it was a short evening watch. The next day, we located creative footwear for the BH Express to play in the mud outdoors before Mrs. B & Mrs. H arrived at lunch time. The BH Express was a blast. I was again reminded of the importance a mother makes in the lives of little people. This weekend, two servants of the Lord who work day and night ministering to the needs of God's precious ones, finally received an overdue day off. 24-7-365 is too-long of a shift even for my virtuous woman.
Comments
Saturday, March 31, 2007 - Untitled Comment
Posted by TOSPUBLISHER
rofl! That will be a day the kids will remember for a long time. What blessing for those moms.
www.TheHomeschoolMagazine.com
Sunday, April 1, 2007 - Untitled Comment
Posted by grace4gayle
That makes my head spin just reading it. Thanks for the much needed break, babe!
Gayle
Sunday, April 1, 2007 - Untitled Comment
Posted by nsremom
What a crazy, yet FUN night you had. I'm impressed and grateful for your offer to watch ALL the kids for us.
You forgot to mention that it was YOUR idea. :)
It was truly a great night and I actually could relax because the kids were being taken good care of.
Thank you Chris!!!!
Monday, April 2, 2007 - Might have to share this one with my hubby
Posted by Jtcosby
What a great story! You should publish this...Men everywhere should take heed and do what you have done! :) GOOD JOB!!
Monday, April 2, 2007 - What a hoot!
Posted by ClagettsFLStyle
A huge pat on the back to you. I want to keep this in my RSS feed so I can show my hubby. Not to rub it in - he's a great dad in and of himself - but to show him that he's not alone in the "crazy ole dad' club.
Thanks for the good giggle.