Live, Love, and Laugh

A moment of reflection...

The other day I was struck with a reality check and I have spent the last few days in deep thought over what, I think will be a pivital moment in my life.

Let me go back and reflect a little on to what brought me to this moment. Maybe this will help me clear this up in my own mind. Through many health problems in my family - both diverticulitus (sp?) and crohns, I started poundering things years ago...ya know the whole I don't want this to happen to me...so I need to do this or that and then it really never happened (ya know the talk the talk but forget the walk thing) Anyway- my little brother who is now 22 had his entire colon and large intestine removed last year from his bout with crohns. I really thought that is it I am changing my life and my eating habits. Since they were to watch there meat intake I decided to cut it out of my life completely...

I planned it... I didn't jump right into it...I set a date and said no more meat, and at the first of the year I stopped eating meat, and I did it, I stopped and have not had any meat since Jan. 1, so you say what's your problem... well, I may not be eating any meat but that doesn't mean I started eating healthy.

WHAT?!? How can that be, I eat tons of veggies, beans, the right fats and oils and all that I need to be a healthy veggie, so what's the problem- JUNK FOOD! I can't stay away from it and it shows...

That brings me to the other day, a friend posted this picture on a mom's board.

After I saw this picture I was sickened to see how I had let myself go. Back the beginning of the year I had lost weight only to gain it all back. I guess in my mind I saw myself as I had seen myself growing up weighing no more than 120lbs. Well, when I saw that picture it was like the mirror and my mind collided and I didn't like what I saw. In fact it has really bothered me...

So here I sit thinking about how I let myself get that way. Now others may not see what I see - but to me I see how big my thighs are - how big my arms and tummy are. This is not the me I want to protray. It's not that I am vain- but I don't think that I am setting a good example for my boys...Nor do I think that my eating, my lack of exercise, my laziness is doing the best to show my love and respect for my husband. What do I mean by this ...   are we not a representative for our families, are we not suppose to be the best wives we can for our husbands, so that he can be pleased and look at his wife with a great honor -Proverbs 31...How can I be this if I am not doing what I can to take care of myself...

OUCH!

So now I need to do something about it, God has revealed some truth to me, it's now up to me to decided what I will do with this truth and so as I ponder what to do, I know that it must be done now, not tomorrow not the day after that but now!

So I am planning this all out like I planned not to not to eat meat... As I am here on vacation it is harder to make changes but I will be home Sunday - what I need is my plan for Monday and Tuesday and Wed... get the point, I need a plan...

Junk food out... Exercise daily... Prayer above all!