Dear Christie
I have a helper who comes 3 times and week and does some homeschool work with my daughter. I believe she is a blessing from God and we pray together over our needs and the children she works with each time she comes, so if nothing else, she has been a wonderful prayer partner. My problem is that she gets in "power struggles" with my daughter. She just tries to "nag and prod" my daughter to do work instead of using smarter methods. The behavior that must be changed is my daughters teacher. I know we talk a lot about how to change our children's behaviors but how do we change their therapists? I talked to her once about this. I even outlined other methods she could use. She seemed offended but did it for a while. Even though it was effective, she fell back into her old ways. My mom thinks she "has a lazy streak" and that is all it is. What would you do if you were I, especially since she is a blessing in other ways.

Kristi

Hi Kristi!
This is a good question. Unless your helper is inclined to change, you can't change anyone but yourself! (I think I said this at least 20 times this past weekend!) I suggest praying. First, for guidance on how to help her or approach her with suggestions that will not offend her or make her angry. Second, for God to change her heart. He can do this, I've seen it happen!

You can recommend that she get the Attention Problems workshops on 2 audio tapes. It talks about disengaging from power struggles, changing how you present materials, and changing your own behavior: how and why... This isn't just for children with attention issues. The information can help all parents with any child. I recommend the 2 tape set as it goes into how to teach organizational skills, study skills, and covers winning the heart of the child. Your helper should work on winning the heart of the child she is working with. When she does this, it will help her in all situations she is in, not just teaching. She can find this tape on our website at www.specialfriendsnews.com. The set is called Teaching Children with Attention Issues. It sells for 11.00. You might want to pick it up for yourself and let her borrow it? Just a thought.

Another possible resource is our record book called Making the Grade (also available on our website.) It teaches how you can provide a positive grade for a good attitude during a period of work. You might suggest that she implement this type of 'grading' so that your daughter is getting a positive result from a positive behavior, rather than just getting constant negative responses.

Blessings,
Christie