Dear Christie,

I have an autistic child and I find it very difficult to keep on a schedule. I know he needs it, but despite my best efforts I just can't stay on schedule! I have written my schedule and put it up where I can see it and then I get totally stressed out worrying about the schedule and staying on it! How can I stay on the schedule for my son's sake and not stress about it when things happen and I can't stay on it!

Mom

Dear Mom,

I do understand your dilemma! We have a schedule on our wall that everyone can see. It actually has times on it, but we don't follow it too closely. We have tried many things to help us maintain a schedule… structure, schedules and routines help our children feel secure and helps their environment for them to learn best. But, Life always gets in the way!

Here are a couple of things we have tried, some have worked well, others have worked to one degree or another. Keep trying until you find one that works for your family!

Turn off the phone, tv, etc and stay in a distraction free zone! (not always possible but a good place to start)

We have written out our schedule and have it posted. When life gets in the way, there are a couple of things we have tried successfully:

We take care of life and learn to be flexible during these times. When life is finished happening, we go back to the schedule and

*look at the time and continued from the time on the schedule (for example, if it is now 11:00 and we are supposed to be working on math at 11:00, then we take out math and work on it)

Or

*look at the schedule and go back to what we were doing when life got in the way (for example if we were reading a story, we would go back to reading the story)

Another option that still provides routine and structure but not necessarily a strict schedule is to make a priority list. We have found that works best for us

We create a list of things that we need to do, would like to do, etc. We do this right after prayer and Bible study time. We discuss what will happen that day, where everyone needs to go, what we will be doing and anything that needs to be discussed about the day. I work with the children on learning to prioritize the list… What do we Absolutely need to get done today? Prayer and Bible study is always first on our list. What is next on the list, usually that would be the 3 R's. Finally, we include things that we would like to do but if we don't get to them because life gets in the way, it is ok. If by the end of the week we haven't gotten to any of the 'fun stuff' we then take Friday for our fun stuff day and do lots of things we didn't get done all week because life was in the way and we couldn't get our list completed. Don't worry if you don't complete your list of 'to-do's'. Remember it is only a guideline for things you would like to get done in the day!

Take the opportunity to teach your child to be flexible as well when life gets in the way. It is difficult for us to be flexible sometimes. Teach your children how to behave when they are outside their comfort zone. Teach them to come to you when they begin to feel uncomfortable and take that opportunity to show them security and dependence on you. This will teach them to find security and dependence on God when they get older. Life getting in the way is a great opportunity to show God in your daily walk and teach by example!

Don't stress over the schedule, create routine and teach flexibility.

Blessings,
Christie