What would happen if we stopped worrying about how our kids are doing compared to other kids their age?  If we stopped looking at and worrying about how much they still have left to do in their workbooks before the end of the schoolyear?  What if we didn't even think about end-of-the-year testing and how they'll score and what those scores will tell others about the kind of job we're doing with homeschooling?

What if we just did what was truly in our hearts?  What if we actually played with our kids and enjoyed our time with them?  What if we played board games for math, watched Liberty Kids movies for history, went on a nature walk or made home made bread or ice cream for Science, wrote thank you notes for all those Christmas gifts for handwriting and English, and spent the entire afternoon reading Little House to the kids while cuddled under blankets on the couch?

Think about it.  What if we could see into the future and know that our kids are going to turn out ok and go on to be successful, independent adults regardless of what curriculum we use.  What would we do differently?  Isn't that really one of the main stresses of us homeschool moms?  That we're not doing enough, or at least not enough of the 'right' things and that we'll permanently hinder our children?  Or maybe there's always questions in the back of our mind that keep us from doing what we truly want with our homeschooling.

"What if we wind up putting them in school some time in the future and they're not up to par with the rest of the kids"?  Or, "What if their end-of-the-year tests don't come back as well as I would hope?  Then what will our family and friends say"?  These are the main 'concerns' that have always held me back from truly letting go and just doing what I feel in my heart.  And I've just been wondering lately what would happen if I got brave and let go of some of my fears.  How much would my little ones be able to spread their wings and soar if this momma bird wouldn't hold them back so much simply because we have to 'stay on course'?

Now, I've always considered myself pretty laid back when it comes to school and my children are doing quite well.  But we have a soon-to-be 11-year-old daughter who is going through some normal questioning when it comes to being homeschooled.  She wonders what it would be like to go to school.  While she does like being homeschooled, still she wonders.  School is not 'fun' for her.  Now that she's getting older and having to do more she is looking at that green, green grass over on the other side.  And while I'm sure she would soon see that the grass is indeed not as green as it may apear should we let her try 'real school' out, we are still her parents.  We're still the ones that are responsible for protecting her and doing what we feel is best for her.  And I do not feel that throwing her to the lions just so she can see that we're right is what's best.

So, on that note, I've been doing some thinking on how to make school more fun and enjoyable for her, soemthing she looks forward to.  And without a doubt I know that being around other homeschoolers is #1.  This is something that we haven't had the opportunity to do since we started homeschooling nearly 5 years ago.  But I'm happy to say that this Thursday we will do just that.  We will be meeting with other homeschoolers at our library for an afternoon of snacks, crafts, and books!

But along with the interaction, I've done some thinking on how fun school was when we first started, when she was 5 and in Kindergarten.  We went to the park, we read while laying on a blanket outside, we went on nature walks, we colored and played and built things.  I know she's older now, but why does learning have to be any different?  Why can't it be interesting and exciting for her?  She's only 10 for goodness sakes!  Why can't we still play board games that reinforce learning?  Why can't we watch movies such as 'National Treasure' to learn about American History (which we do, by the way, but not enough).  Why can't we go outside and read under the trees or spend the 'school day' in the kitchen cooking up a new concoction?

The only reason we can't is because of my own fear of what other people will think.  Well, I think I'm ready to put those fears aside and find the fun again, not only for my children but for myself as well.

We start back with school tomorrow and guess what?  I don't even have a plan of what we're going to do.  Now, I do normally like to at least have an idea of what we're going to do, but I have a feeling that everything is going to turn out just fine.  If nothing else we have tons of really great books that would keep us busy all day!  I'll let you know how it turns out.

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Posted by mom2chris

I just found your blog on the home page. I agree with what you are saying. I have a 12 year old boy that is going thru the same things. I think letting go is what they need at this point. Thanks for sharing!

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Posted by SheriLynn

It's a hard thing isn't it!?! I am so glad I am in a state that doesn't require annual testing, but another part of me wonders "How are they REALLY doing?"...they progress in a normal fashion, but are they really learning or am I going to send them out into the world as complete dunces?!

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Posted by Buckeyeblog

Great entry!

We are in our 14th year of homeschooling - counting Kindergarten (graduated our beautiful oldest daughter this last June) and so see myself and our daughters at that stage.

Around my 5th year of homeschooling I, too, questioned my dependence on textbooks/workbooks vs the fun learning opportunities of the younger years. Why did I think I had to give that up?...because everyone else was? "THEY" do not live in my home or parent/teach my children. I experienced great freedom in "realizing" that it is OK to be different. My goodness, just being Christians in today's culture - and homeschoolers to boot! - is different already.

As a side note, that's about the time we started writing our own unit studies (which I speak about now).

Yep...around 11 or 12 is when they really start becoming aware of the "differences" between their Sunday school or neighbor friends who go to public school. At our house, this opened their eyes in 2 ways: 1) it did, like your daughter, open questions about what "fun" it would be to GO to public school. I just related the truth of what would await them there - good and bad - They would get to ride the big yellow bus...but...they would have to get up between 5:30 and 6a.m. to do it! They would get to be with their friends all day...but...they wouldn't be able to talk or socialize with them w/o getting in trouble except before school, if they were lucky enough to have lunch with them, or after school. They would get to be taught by a certified teacher...but...that teacher wouldn't love them, take a personl interest in their welfare or how well they did in class or be able to take the TIME to work them them until they fully grasped the subject at hand. If they didn't get it, too bad, they were graded down and the whole class had to move on.

2) They also became aware of the moral/social/character differences between themselves and their public school friends. They began to see that their friends cared...but only to a certain point. When my oldest was 15 this was illustrated to her in a very profound way. One weekend King's Island (a large Ohio amusement park) had a Homeschool Day. She went with a group of homeschool kids and had a blast - they were silly, went on some of the "tween-kiddie" rides AND the monster roller-coasters, went in groups to restrooms and waited on each other, let each person in their group pick their favorite rides, etc. The next weekend she went with the youth group at our church - 99.9% public school kids. They would RUN between each ride like there was no tomorrow, some cursed, she suggested going on one of the fun "tween" rides and they acted like she was an idiot to suggest such an UNCOOL kiddie ride, there were constant arguements about which ride they should go on next...but the real turning point that showed her which set of friends really had her best interest in mind - simply by virtue of the way they were raised and educated - was when she and a friend went to the restroom and when she came out, her friend was gone. When she exited the restroom they were ALL gone! Fortunately, she knew what ride they were going to go to next or she would have been LEFT in that huge amusement park. She told me that when she found them - halfway through the line - that she really let them know how disappointed she was in what they had done. For once, I couldn't condemn her for it...they needed to know. And after a few feeble "sorry"'s, they just continued through they're day. Even though she manintains friendships with many of those teens, she never looked at them the same and became an champion of homeschooling.

So, these are natural homeschool growing pains you are going through and your daughter (and other children) will come out the other side KNOWING that the Lord led you during these homeschool years.

Blessings from Ohio, Kim Wolf<><
P.S. You can read about her graduation at http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/Buckeyeblog/153294

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Posted by Anonymous

Christy,
This post is great, thanks for taking the time to write it all down. I agree whole heartedly! Did I read you live in Kentucky? I grew up in Kentucky. We live in Alaska now though. We also use FIAR and math u see.
Have a great January
Melissa

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Posted by OurHomeSweetHomeschool

Hi Christy,

I am stopping by to let a few of my "regular reads" here at hsb know that I have started a new blog. Although I have had some issues since the switch over its not really any one thing from hsb that has caused me to leave. I have been visiting the links to your learning rooms showcase and have fallen in love with the typepad blog host and its ease in navigation. I thought I would give it a try and have decided to use them as my host.

I hope that you'll add me somewhere to your blog so that you'll be able to visit. I wanted you know that I always come away blessed and encouraged after visiting your blog and as soon as I put up the pictures of our learning room, I'll stop by and leave you the link.

Blessings,
Theresa
www.gracelikerain.typepad.com

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Posted by Theresa @ www.gracelikerain.typepad.com

Hi Christy, I've been checking in to see if there are any updates from you. Everything o.kay? Sending up some prayers.

Blessings,
Theresa

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