From Cindy's Heart

Just Too Funny NOT to Pass On...

Welcome to Ray Flatts Weekly BubbaGram.
 
Well I'm sad to report Aunt Betty Lou and Uncle Clyde got a divorce several months ago. Got a chance to visit with her recently and she told me this sad story. You all probably don't remember them since they ran off to live in the big city after they got married right out of high school.
 
I understand she took it pretty good after 40 years of marriage even though Uncle Clyde found him a new younger gal and he ended up with the house.
 
Aunt Betty Lou spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.  On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay. 
 
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp dipped in caviar, into the hollow of he curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
 
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the
first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried
everything: cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.
 
Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked.
 
People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.
 
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the local Realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
 
Aunt Betty Lou called Uncle Clyde and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back. Uncle Clyde thinking his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
 
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home, including the curtain rods.
 
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU!!!
 
Moral: I guess Uncle Clyde found out, that if you don't get rid of the
stinkin baggage, it stays with you wherever you go.
 
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Well throughout all this misery I did get an opportunity to visit with my
niece Betty Lou II (Too)...that's Aunt Betty's daughter. She has been going to college to be an animal Vet. She passed on to me some interesting animal facts.
 
BUZZARD: If you put a buzzard in a pen that is 6 feet by 8 feet and is
entirely open at the top, the bird, in spite of its ability to fly, will be
an absolute prisoner. The reason is that a buzzard always begins a flight
from the ground with a run of 10 to 12 feet. Without space to run, as is its habit, it will not even attempt to fly, but will remain a prisoner for life
in a  small jail with no top.
 
BAT: The ordinary bat that flies around at night, a remarkably nimble
creature in the air, cannot take off from a level place. If it is placed on
the floor or flat ground, all it can do is shuffle about helplessly and, no
doubt, painfully, until it reaches some slight elevation from which it can
throw itself into the air. Then, at once, it takes off like a flash.
 
BUMBLEBEE: A bumblebee, if dropped into an open tumbler, will be there until it dies, unless it is taken out. It never sees the means of escape at the top, but persists in trying to find some way out through the sides near the bottom. It will seek a way where none exists, until it completely destroys itself.
 
Well I thought those were quiet interesting facts. Thus, I added to her
education with the following observation.
 
PEOPLE: In many ways, we are like the buzzard, the bat, and the bumblebee. We struggle about with all our problems and frustrations, never realizing that all we have to do is look up.
 
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That's all for this week. Be sure to pass this BubbaGram on to friends ,
enemy and family. They to can join the list a www.rayflatt.com.