From Cindy's Heart

Build Your Home... By Cindy Rushton

Build Your Home...

“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it

down with her hands.”  Proverbs 14:1

     Just a few years ago, we began a project in our family that would change our perspective on life!  We had always dreamed of owning our own home, but we were so picky that we never could find the “perfect” home for us.  This left us with one option: to build our own home! 

     We dreamed.  We prayed.  We looked around at model homes.  We read books.  We shared ideas.  We shopped for plans.  We compared materials and prices.  We researched all of the options.  Then, finally in Spring of 1995, we took the plunge and bought our dream piece of land.  We were going to set out on the adventure of building our own home!

     For those of you who may have built your own home, you know that there is going to have to be a punch line!  Building a home often brings out so much in our character.  It also quickly shows our experience, or in our case, inexperience!

      Well, if you saw how I began as a wife, mommy and maker of my home, you would think that the two experiences mirrored one another!  Building a home is an adventure whether you are talking about the physical dwelling or the atmosphere and relationships that we lovingly call home. 

      A home just does not come easy!  There is much time and effort that goes into building it properly.  There is much that building a home costs in time and hidden costs!  There are always special memories to treasure and horrible memories that you would rather forget!  There is just so many dynamics that make it all easy or rather difficult…but often we do not learn the easy way until we are in the midst of the demands!

     So, we want to be like the wise woman.  We want to build our home.  We do not want to tear it down with our own hands!  But how shall we then build??  I would say that there are three areas that make a whole world of difference!  Let’s take a look…

Build Relationships...

“It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.”

Genesis 2:18

     Have you asked yourself what God is all about?  I mean, has it ever crossed your mind that there has to be some plan for man?  Can we know such things? 

     I believe that we can.  I believe if we go back to the beginning and look at the complete unfolding of God’s history with man, we can see one underlying theme…relationships!  First, of all, God created man for relationship between God and man.  Then, we see creation of woman because “It is not good that the man should be alone…”  Then, we see the fall, the first ramifications affected relationships.  Then, as we come on down history, we constantly see God revealing WHO He is to man.  Then, the ultimate sacrifice, all of sin paid for in full by God so man could once again have a relationship with God and others.  Oh, and don’t forget the end…“And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her Husband. And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself shall be with them, and be their God. (Revelation 21: 2-3)   True communion! Relationships!

     Yes.  The main thing is relationships!  If we are going to build our home, the first place to begin is with the foundation!  The foundation must be built upon relationships or the home will not stand! 

Relationship with God

     Our relationship with God is primary!  Without personal redemption…without life surrendered completely to Him, we find that nothing else works out.  We can’t be godly wives, godly mothers, or godly mentors without first being godly! 

      When there are problems and our homes seem to be falling to pieces…we seem to be plucking down our home with our own hands, we need to look at our relationship with God.  Do we know Him?  Do we have an understanding of Him, His ways, and what He has to say?  Are we responding properly to Him?  If these things are out of order, all else will crumble around us. 

     Commit to God anew!  Commit to get to know Him!  Commit to know His Ways!  Commit to find out what He says about every area of life!  Commit to live totally for Him!

Relationship with Your Husband

“The woman is the glory of the man. For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.”

1 Corinthians 11: 7-9

  I have gone through entire years of focusing on different roles that I must fulfill to the detriment of my main calling…to be a wife!  I remember the first year of homeschooling my children.  As the last days of the school-year rolled around I realized that in my enthusiasm of turning my heart back home toward my children, I had not nurtured my marriage as I should have!  Ever found yourself like this? 

     There are so many different facets of womanhood.  It is so easy to get so wrapped up in one area that we lose sight of all of the others!  Our main calling as women is to the awesome role as a helpmeet for our husbands.  We are to bring glory to our husbands so they may in turn bring glory to God.  Isn’t this beautiful?  We are those hidden women who reflect back to our husbands…who build up our husbands…who do all that we do to help them subdue and have dominion over the world!

     Where there is a beautiful marriage, all else falls into place.  Two become one.  There is security and stability in the lives of the children.  There is a ministry to the world.   This is the means that glory goes to God.  Others see God’s perfect plan for man and woman!  There is hope.  There is abundant life!

     The catch here is that beautiful marriages do not just happen.  It takes work! It takes commitment!  It takes priority! 

     Want a great marriage?  Don’t hold anything back!  Give your all…all your gifts, talents, bents, knowledge, understanding, and wisdom!  Be a real helper to your husband!  Give him assistance during the tough times.  Protect his heart and his name.  Step in the gap and pray hedges of protection around him in all that he sets forth to do.  Adapt yourself and your whole life to him…to God’s plan for him.  Be his best friend! 

     Die to your ways and your ideas and your plans! Decide now that you will live your whole life as your husband’s chief support.  Be the one who gives him that respect that he needs.  Be the one who knows all that he is and yet still admires him more than even his little 2 year old boy!  Be the one who loves him unconditionally, enough to give up all life could possibly offer you to build him up!  Die to all you had in mind for your life and commit to promote him. 

      Contribute to his growth, his enlargement, his excellence!  Patiently nurture him and encourage him to develop interests (Bible Study, SWAT team, Metal Detecting, Sailing, Email…He needs down time too!) that will help him to re-fuel, re-charge, and become strong.  Be the one to affirm him and his manhood…get excited about his leadership, his masculinity, his sexuality, his work!  Reassure any insecurities!  Be the one who believes in him…inspire him to greatness!  Have the vision for all God wants to do in his life!  Encourage him!  Be his teammate as he works toward that calling!  Relieve him where he needs relief…where can you come alongside to help him??

     See a weakness?  Pray. Fast.  Cry out to God.  Make it easier, any way you can, to help them succeed!  Love them in their weakness!  Be joyful and positive, always uplifting and encouraging!  Let God supply your needs, not your husband, things will relax…you may change your heart! 

     Decide now to pour yourself into your husband!  Build your marriage!  Let the little things go so that you have time to get to know your husband…so you will have time to minister to him in little ways!  Take that time for the relationship and you will find that all else will fall into place!

 Relationship With Your Children

    Let the world pass on…they are only little for a little while!  There is only a little while to minister to their little hearts!  Only a little while to teach them about who God is.  Only a little while for you to instill a vision for all that God wants to do in their lives!  Only a little while for you to light a fire in their soul that will give them a passion to be great…to step up to the call! Treasure every moment! Grab every second!

Build Memories

“And it came to pass, when all the people were clean passed over Jordan, that the LORD spake unto Joshua, saying, Take you twelve men out of the people, out of every tribe a man, And command ye them, saying, Take you hence out of the midst of Jordan, out of the place where the priests' feet stood firm, twelve stones, and ye shall carry them over with you, and leave them in the lodging place, where ye shall lodge this night. Then Joshua called the twelve men, whom he had prepared of the children of Israel, out of every tribe a man: And Joshua said unto them, Pass over before the ark of the LORD your God into the midst of Jordan, and take ye up every man of you a stone upon his shoulder, according unto the number of the tribes of the children of Israel: That this may be a sign among you, that when your children ask their fathers in time to come, saying, What mean ye by these stones? Then ye shall answer them, That the waters of Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the LORD; when it passed over ordan, the waters of Jordan were cut off: and these stones shall be for a memorial unto the children of Israel for ever.  And the children of Israel did so as Joshua commanded, and took up twelve stones out of the midst of Jordan, as the LORD spake unto Joshua, according to the number of the tribes of the children of Israel, and carried them over with them unto the place where they lodged, and laid them down there.  And Joshua set up twelve stones in the midst of Jordan, in the place where the feet of the priests which bare the ark of the covenant stood: and they are there unto this day.” Joshua 4: 1-9

     What do you think of when you think of home?  What gives you that cozy feeling? 

     Is it the smells drifting from the oven in the kitchen into the very crevices of your bedroom??  What about those family stories that you heard over and over and over?  What about those bedtime stories and late night talks all cuddled up in Momma and Daddy’s bed?  Could we go on and on?

     God knows that one of the things that build a strong home is memories.  Memories give us identity…we find our story.  Memories give us security…they provide us with the anchor that holds us when the sea is raging.  Memories give us strength…they remind us that we made it through other trials and we can keep on, keeping on through this one!

     Memories pull it all together.  Our home can have relationships…our home can have structure…our home can have direction, but without memories we lose the tie that binds! 

     If you want a strong home, build your home by tying strings, strong cords, with your family.  Make the effort to establish your family traditions and rituals…bedtime stories, tea, long discussions, walks in the woods, read alouds, adventures, family stories, prayer journals.  Work together…in and around the home, in ministry, in business.  Take time for fun!  Oh, never forget that one! Make effort to have fun!

     The memories that you build in these days are the stones that your children will come back to use in teaching their children about priorities, about commitment, about life, about marriage, about the ties that bind.  Pick up the stones and leave them for your children…they will be the memorials that will reach out for generations to come!

Build Your Influence

“Sing, O barren, thou that didst not bear; break forth into singing, and cry aloud, thou that didst not travail with child: for more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife, saith the LORD. Enlarge the place of thy tent, and let them stretch forth the curtains of thine habitations: spare not, lengthen thy cords, and strengthen thy stakes; For thou shalt break forth on the right hand and on the left; and thy seed shall inherit the Gentiles, and make the desolate cities to be inhabited.” 

Isaiah 54: 1-3

     Do you see many families that seem to fall right before your eyes…or lose influence almost as soon as they begin?  Wonder why??  I believe it is because they begin with this area, trying to build influence, to the detriment of all of the others.  A personal ministry, work for the church, or busyness in the community are the priority…the first thing they begin to build when God has a different process!  God has a different plan!  God has a different focus!

      The godly woman is the woman who is happy to be barren.  She gives up trying to create her own ministry.  She stops working to build her own influence.  She is the one who actually bears more fruit!  Does this perplex you?  God’s ways are certainly not our ways…His are much more powerful! 

     God’s plan for the home is for the woman to be content in her own tent!  Her influence comes from within her tent!  It is God Who brings the increase.  It is God Who uses her to influence!  He brings fruitfulness on all sides and influences countless people through her obedience!

     Want influence?  Do it God’s way!  Rest in Him! Don’t strive or struggle to be seen.  Be content in your own home.  Build those relationships with God, your husband, and your children.  Center all around your family.  They need to be in order so others can see how God’s Word can affect a home!  Those relationships need to mirror the beauty and peace that is available for all in God’s way! 

      Build memories.  Strengthen the ties that bind.  You will very soon be lengthening those cords…they must be strong enough to hold as you stretch forth your influence.  Cutting them too early only collapses the tent.  If they are weak or tattered, they can’t hold growth!  Build those strong ties, they are essential for enlarging the tent! 

     Enlarge the tent.  You can be a woman of influence within your own home.  Don’t swap this power for an artificial substitute!  You are the maker of your home.  You set the thermostat.  You set the pace.  Slow down so you can make your home great.  Slow down so all in your home can endure.  Slow down so you can build your greatest work, your home!

Build Your Home!

“And I will raise me up a faithful priest, that shall do according to that which is in mine heart and in my mind: and I will build him a sure house; and he shall walk before mine anointed for ever.”

1 Samuel 2: 35

      How shall you then build??  Will you be faithful?  Will you be content to stay within your tent to influence quietly?  Will you forsake all of the snares that are in our world to keep us from the greatest work we could ever do?   This may frighten you as you think about how overwhelming the task at hand really is!  However, you have a Lord Who will be with you.  He will guide you the right direction.  He will direct you in the process.  He will provide all that you need.  Yes, He, The Lord God Almighty, will help you build a home, a sure house.  A house of the Lord!

“Now, my son, the LORD be with thee; and prosper thou, and build the house of the LORD thy God, as he hath said of thee.”

1 Chronicles 22:11  a