Aug. 15, 2009 - Wow has time flown...again.
I now have 5 children and we have lived in Louisiana for 2.5 years. I have figured you can just 'right off' the 1st year of a new child's life- as it it'll be a blur. :) It's enjoyable to be sure, BUT it is also very busy. And tiring. I don' t know what it has been about child # 5, but this has been one hard year. Perhaps it's not the child fully (as adorable as she is!), but also life situations, nonetheless it has been a hectic year, shoot 2 years, really, because my pregnancy was no a picnic.
I don't have much to say at present, but I thought I'd say SOMEthing. :)
I am nursing poison ivy on my forearms ~sigh~ again. I was out cutting annoying viney 'stuff' under the oak tree in the front yard. Guess it wasn't just the viney stuff... turns out it was much more. As I got closer to the tree I was suddenly surrounded by flying stinging insects ~OUCH~ I had never been stung by an insect before. (Well, do mosquitos technically bite or sting? Mosquitos don't count for the purposes of this entry. I live in Louisiana and the mosquitos here are as thick as the air!) I think I disturbed a hornets nest as it appears to be in the ground. Four of them stung me. The vines sit...less then half finished, and I am now planning the hornets demise. It Doesn't really matter if they are hornets or not- they will be gone shortly.
I have been enjoying the gym. We have wanted to join one for some time, but finally did because the physical cost to each of our bodies was a worse option than not joining. Morbid obesity runs in my husbands family and he'd been struggling with keeping weight off as he's become more sedentary. I have also struggled, and having given birth to 5 children has not helped. I am outnumbered and have not been successful in exercising from home (as was my custom) in some time due to the numerous interruptions. To say it has been frustrating is an understatement. I can't describe how much my body and soul are enjoying the ability to exercise- uninterrupted and utilizing various weight machines, etc. I have also been able to get back into running which I am thoroughly enjoying. It has been a goal for a while, but life circumstances have kept me from it. I hope one day to run a marathon. It might be a while as I'm only up to 3 miles. :)
Aug. 14, 2007 - Death is not only an end, but it can also bring new beginnings- Part 2
This second part has been on my mind since I posted the last entry, but I just have not had time to ...well... think. :)
So where was I.... ? Oh yes. We had arrived in CA just in time to say good-bye to MIL as she was dying. She died with her children and many of her grand children standing around her hospital bed singing in the front room of her house. My MIL loved music and had a wonderful voice. I had never before heard one harmonize in soprano, but she was able to do so. As she was drawing her last breaths we stood singing any and all hymns we could come up with that most present knew, and especially ones we knew she loved. She quieted down from the noises she had been making, and peacefully left this earth. That was on July 2nd.
What followed was a whirlwind~
A few neighbors and long time family friends had stopped over in MIL's last hour. The 2 good friends of dh's who had picked our family up from the airport and who had each spent many hours at his house and with my MIL during high school were there, just as we were, with tears streaming down their faces.
The next day was July 3rd. Which of course precedes July 4th.... July 4th has always been a family holiday (with friends invited as well) for those living close enough and was one of MIL's favorite. We were so blessed to have a long-time friend unexpectedly bring a huge dinner for us. My DH and FIL spent the latter part of the day gathering supplies last minute for the 4th of July celebration, complete with fireworks, that I was suddenly preparing the food for 25 people. :) Traditions are traditions after all, and MIL would have wanted us to carry on. :) Some neighbors, who had been such a blessing in visiting MIL and bringing food while she was bedridden, also attended.
The rest of the week was a blur. There were preparations for MIL's funeral to attend to as no plans had been made prior to her death. So everything had to be done from picking the casket to the plot. We tried to call everyone we knew who would want to know about MIL's death and funeral arrangements. Throughout the last few months I had also been keeping MIL's sister and FIL's siblings up to date on what was transpiring in regards to MIL's health. FIL was just too busy with the amount of care and time MIL required.
Death (and even ill-ness) bringing new beginnings is a new concept to me. But what I have experienced through MIL's death would fill her heart with joy. MIL was always there to lend a hand to anyone in need. And all those who knew and loved her, or benefited in one way or another from her gracious and giving personality, gave back in amazing ways, and even some who did not know her at all.
Neighbors and long-time friends kept my family and FIL fed (and fed well!) for the 2 weeks we were there. They went to Costco for us and bought basics and brought meals. I had been a bit stressed about the food issue as I have somewhat of a crew to feed and with all the emotions, the thought of cooking and meal planning was not one filled with joy.
The church was filled to overflowing for the funeral and our very small country church was a major blessing in providing most of the food for the reception following the funeral, and serving all the guests and family. The number of flower arrangements was astounding to me. It was such a blessing to see the love and respect people had for one who was so selfless and giving.
One new beginning belongs to my FIL. The morning immediately after MIL's funeral a dog showed up. A very sweet, yet hungry dog. FIL had talked about getting a dog or even two for a while and we had just discussed how the place didn't feel right w/o one. Well, the dog found the accomodations suitable and is still there with FIL. MIL was a lover of animals, so the timing of the dog's appearance gave pause. I told FIL mom sent him a dog. :) (In reality I know it was the Lord, if anyone.)
Our family has received many, many blessings immediately following MIL's death. I am still surprised and astounded. We have connected with old friends, we have re-connected and become better friends with some old acquaintances who we will be able to spend a day with when we travel back to CA this next weekend for a family reunion. We have reconnected with distant family. We have also found new family in our new location. Some friends we had only known for about a week and a half stepped up and offered to feed our cats and dogs while we raced to CA not knowing how long we would be there. Only they didn't stop there. They contacted other faculty- most of whom we had not met and some we still have not been able to meet. We were blessed tremendously when we walked into our home after 2 weeks away and it was sparkling clean and smelled fresh. There were flowers on the dining table, food enough to feed us for the better part of a week (only requiring heating), milk, eggs, bread...the very large yards had been mowed (a dirty job with the sparse grass and all the sand!) and weed-eated....and the dogs who had been relegated to outside for 2 weeks- had been scrubbed clean and smelled wonderful! Even our towels had been washed. There were sympathy cards on the counter, including a gift card for a local grocery store.
The day after we came back home a local church brought us wonderful leftovers from a church function as well as gave us a cash gift. Another church also sent us a cash gift a little later. All of these were such blessings and really ministered to us as the prior 2-3 months had been very exhausting emotionally, physically and financially.
I am reminded of the story in the Old Testament of Moses holding up the serpent in the wilderness and the help he received in holding up his arms when they became weary.
I am so humbled to be a beneficiary of God's wonderful love and grace and to feel the effects of that oft invisible thread woven in , around, and through my life.
Jul. 29, 2007 - Death is not only an end, but it can also bring new beginnings- Part 1
It has been busy for us since March. My dh has had a few art exhibitions and sold a number of pieces, and after pushing off our move a little bit due to a hospitlization of dh's mother, we continued on with our move to Louisiana for his new position. We had lived with my in-laws in their house, and then in their second house on the same property for just over a year as we were getting on our feet.
A month after moving from CA we (Dh, me, 4 dc) found ourselves flying back in a race against the clock to see DH's mother before she passed away. We made it with one hour to spare. Praise the LORD we made it , and praise the LORD we will see her in Glory! She knew we were there and though she could not say speak clearly at all nor turn to look at us, she did say dh's name very clearly. She was dh's mother, but she was also like a mother to me and I was so glad to be able tell her what a blessing she had been to me in my life and to tell her again that I loved her. (Makes me tear up just to write this...)
Can I just say that I have always had issues with death? I don't like it, and want no part of it- in any way. I am aware, however, that I also have no say in the matter. :) I've just trusted the Lord to help me with it. I know I will be with my Savior- and the rest will just have to work itself out.
Death is an end. There is a finality like nothing else I've encountered. It is sad when one must confront it. But death can also bring about some good things. Throughout MIL's short (4 months or so), yet severe health issues (the result of Stage4 br**st cancer) life changed. Unbelievably- in good ways. Neighbors and church folk pitched in to help me in taking meals for my in-laws as I had been cooking extra and walking some up to them. The neighbors whom I had only known in passing, really, were such a help in watching my dc while I was helping and staying with MIL for 'shifts' in the hospital, or taking the children so dh and I could go together to visit MIL. They brought us food as we were half-packed and a week away from our scheduled move date when MIL was severely ill in the hospital for 2 weeks. Neighbors, and one angel of a woman from our small church, pitched in with the packing in a huge way. I am no stranger to packing and moving, but I just could not pull it together- they did, really. They kept me going and helped me to have direction. They kept me sane.
We drove to LA in our min-van with 4 dc, 2 dogs, 4 cats (2 of them kittens) and of course dh and I. I began calling our van the 'Ark' in jest. When we arrived here the house we had rented was not ready so we had to stay an add'l week in the hotel. I have had more fun... We were finally able to move in as work was almost completed. There was a bit of work for me to do as well- like paint the INSIDE of the kitchen cabinets and putting peel and stick tiles down, as well as painting the interior room that was lit by a single light bulb so it would not look (and feel )so dreary. DH was getting things in order at his new job, so most of it fell to me. Boy was I tired, but it had to be that way. Just as I unpacked the last of the boxes and had dh shuttle the last few items to storage- we found that we had to leave immediately for CA in hopes of seeing MIL one last time. We had been in the house for perhaps 3 weeks by this time and in the state of LA for close to 5, I think...
The following 2 weeks were amazing.
(Part 2 to follow)
Mar. 8, 2007 - Exciting changes! :)
I'll admit, I have been horrible at this whole blog thing. I guess I have to pick myself up and just keep trying. I'm afraid it may take a while. :) Moving really make s rhythm hard to come by.
We have had a number of good changes going on in our life. The best (for me, admittedly) is that we have moved into our own place since my last blog. It is nice! With 6 people to do laundry for, it has been especially nice reconnecting with my large capacity washer and dryer . I'm loving it!
My dh has a new show opening in Sacramento this weekend at his preferred gallery in the area, an article (Portrait) coming out on him in the Sacramento Bee this Sunday, and yet another show to open next month near Sacramento. As publicity is the life's blood of one in the arts, these are all major blessings! Some other awesome news is that my dh has a couple job offers in his field- he just have to decide which one is best overall, sign the contract, and oh yeah.....move. Again. But that is ok. It's for a good cause. LOL The fun part will be finding a house potentially long distance, and moving the family, the animals (do people move fish??), and all the stuff which includes dh's studio and artwork. In the last move from NYC all of his studio items/art work made it, a good amount of household items did not. We'll certainly be fixing that issue. Believe me! We will be renting 2 trucks this time. We are hopeful a friend or 2 of dh's will be able to help us as we will be short on drivers.
It's such a blessing to know we will be moving towards the long-term goal. It has taken dh such a long time to get through school. It's nice to finally see an end that also begins a new, exciting chapter for our family.
Oct. 23, 2006 - Fall is in the air...
and the walls are begining to close in. :) OK, I'll admit I live in a mild climate where freezing happens only a few times winter. I really don't mind the freezing, in fact, I enjoy it. What I mind are the cold drizzly winter rains, the fog (especially the Tule), and the fact that it can be overcast for days, even weeks. After living on the East Coast for 7 years, I find I miss it. A lot. I miss the acutal seasons, the snow, the warm summer rains accompianied by amazing thunder storms. The storms tended to come fast and leave fast and sunshine prevailed. I miss the snow that the sunlight dances upon making things bright and cheery as well and a little more fun! But...here I am, looking for the sugar to make some lemonade. :) We are currently living with my in-laws while my dh looks for a position, and though I love them dearly I am really craving my own space, not in a selfish way I don't think, just to have room to breathe, more emotional down time, time and space to keep my own schedule particularly as it relates to HSing where interruptions are much fewer. No mattter how one may try, living with someone else results in changes in how you function. It can't be helped. I am grateful for a place to be, but I also I so look fwd to getting back to me. I just don't feel as nurturing towards my family while I live with others, and nurturing is something I've had to learn. After 6 months I'll admit to really struggling and throwing a few tantrums. I'm finding it more and more difficult to let go of the small irritations relating to my living situation. But I sure have learned how selfish my own heart can be, and I don't approve. I totally agree with "bloom where you are planted" but I am struggling, I'll admit. We have averaged a move every year for 14 years. I'm tired and I just want to settle somewhere ANYwhere in my own house.
But there is hope! Dh is currently looking for a position teaching at the college level and there are a number of promising prospects. Though, since such jobs are tied to the academic year, we are easily looking at an additional 6-9 months where we are. More if a job does not materialize. We are really praying and trusting that he can get a position that will support our family, not always an easy thing to get in the arts.
Well, children are waking and I must run....
Aug. 17, 2006 - And the pears have it!
So this past week has been fun. My in-laws (whom I love dearly) are gone so I can pretend it's my house for a bit. Being able to converse with my dh in any room we choose has been nice, and I get to have the kitchen all to myself! Typically, it's rather hard to keep up on kitchen duty with another person using it, but this week it's been only me. :)
We had a jillion pears in the fridge from a recent pear picking. It was driving me a little nuts because things were shoved in haphazardly to make room for the pears. I like things organized and in their place. The fridge was not neat, and certainly not organized. So, since I had the kitchen to myself I decided to experiment and make some pear butter. My MIL had made some but, I didn't really care for it. I had never had pear butter before trying hers, so I decided to hit "All Recipes" and see if they had a recipe I could reference- MIL doesn't "do" recipes so I could not reference hers.
The pears were breeding in the drawers- SOMEthing had to be done. So while the baby was napping I was happily reaquainting myself with my more creative side.
I had never "canned" anything before, though I had seen it done. It worked! The pear butter turned out quite good with the hint of OJ and orange zest xand the jars all sealed. I now have a "jump" on Christmas! I prefer baking and giving such items, thoguht i don't tend to when I am not in my own house. So the thought of giving a little of myself is a fun. In fact, I have enough pears for more butter.... :)
I enjoy cooking but I don't do things here as I would do in my own kitchen such as making wheat bread regularly, and cooking the more involved recipes. The kitchen just isn't set up for how I cook, so at times it feel like I'm trying to run in sand when cooking. It's more of a chore. (I'm truly not complaining, just expressing the little emotional/spatial vacation I'm feeling :)
Now- if I could only feel and get organized mentally and emotionally to get back in the swing of Home Schooling..... :) I am working on it. I am getting some long ignored tasks done. Since I am an "everything in it's place " type person, freeing my brain up from my mental task list is very helpful- I feel freer to begin new things, such as Home School. I am a photo hobbiest (read: I photograph a TON of things) and one of my meantal tasks was to back up all my photos/ videos. I'm a lot less stressed that my photos will disappear into neverland now. It's amazing how much better I feel having done that chore.
And now... I must go fold laundry.
Aug. 3, 2006 - Well, well, well.
Lets see- it is now August. The summer is half gone. I'm good with that as long as the 110 plus heat goes with it!
I have been struggling to just keep things afloat. Like cooking dinner, all the watering to be done, HSing, and most of all LAUNDRY! I'm a bit sick of laundry. I don't mind doing it so much but the point where it needs to be folded and put away often escapes me. ( I will admit to greatly missing my large front loading w/d that I pat lovingly as I brush against them in storage almost daily.) We are in a temporary living situation which could last for a few months, or for many months and space is tight. PTL we have enough to function, but still putting away laundry is a chore. I can't stand things piling, and yet it piles until I'm driven to distraction and MUST do it. That was last night. I simply had to put it away. Usually it goes like this- Oh i need to switch laundry, run dwn strs and switch, then I realize later I need to switch again, so I do, and I or an older child will carry it up stairs, and put it on a table while to be dealt with...later while I'm running to the next thing to be done- like dinner. I don't mind cooking dinner in my own house, but here it's a bit more complicated as I strain my brain to try to remmeber in which of the 4 possible places is the ingredient I need located.
I have realized that I have let my temporary situation mindset creep too far into the actual functioning of my family/routine. It's so hard when you are living ina house not your own with other people! I have trouble enough keeping myself on track in my own house. I think the Lord is teaching me to R-E-L-A-X. ~harumph~
So tomorrow we are finally celbrating ds's 13th B-day with miniature golfing, cake and everything. It's only been 6 months. Poor boy didn't even get a cake on his actual B-day, much less a single gift and he's been sooooo patient! We were moving and dh was in a really intense project, so it had to wait. They tyranny of the urgent has finally loosened it's grasp!
I am going to try to do this at least once a week from now on. For a bit I was locked out of my blog for some reason, and for the other part- simply swamped and disorganized reaching for the life preserver!
Til later~
Apr. 25, 2006 - And yet time flies....
Just an update real fast before the dc wake....
We had to move unexpectedly as the landlord gave "our" house to his son. So now we are back at in-laws. This was our third move in 18 months (one cross country) AND we added a new little one to our family as well. So we were frankly- tapped out. A large part of why is because dh is still working on completing his thesis. The above movings and baby have not helped it progress as fast as we'd have liked. We have learned- if you have a huge paper due- DON'T MOVE until it's DONE! ~sheesh!~ Dh is now in NYC writing like mad to turn in his paper next week it seems. He says he is not coming back until it's turned in. So it could be longer than a week. It will be so nice to have it DONE! He was planning to have it done by now, however the opportunity for a rather large show (2 shows, actually) presented it'self and well- an artist can't really turn those types of opportunities down. We all look fwd to hiw thesis being done an life to begin. It feels like we've been in limbo for 1.5 years now. I have decided I do not like limbo.
So I sent dh with my camera. My digital camera. It is an unusual day when I do not take any pics (my hobby) so this was quite a difficult thing. I told him that if he only came home with 10 pictures of NYC and friends I was NOT going to be happy. :) I want him to take pics of our old stomping grounds and favorite places that he may visit- once his paper is done. :) We didn't take many of such places while we lived there as we didn't want to appear the tourist- LOL.
So...... that is what is going on with us as of late. Living at my in-laws is proving more of a challenge than ever. I have this feeling of things just not being "right"- even so far as bing here in CA. I didn't want to come back, personally. It didn't seem right then, nor does it now. I'm sure the Lord is working it all out and will continue to do so. We have learned a lot about ourselves and our extended family- not all positive. Our children have enjoyed being close to their grandparents though, so that is nice. :)
Dh found an opening for a position to teach art/art history just No. of Boston and has applied. We are praying that the Lord would open that door so dh can use the education he's been blessed with. We have a bit of a late start in such things due to life and such. We chose to give up many things so dh could receive his education., such as financial stability-dh was next in line for a 6-figure job when we decided to move to NYC- it was a God thing- he certainly wanted us there). I'm just hoping and praying that this job opportunity will become a reality. :)
Feb. 4, 2006 - Wow! Is it *really* February???
A lot has gone on for us, which is why I have not blogged lately.
In the last month I was sick for a week with dh gone long hours. Then of course the children got sick, one by one. Fortunately for the olders it was not a big deal but each of the littles each became quite sick, the baby most of all.
We had 3 ER visits in 1.5 weeks. Dd (10 mos) was unable to keep anything down for alomst 24 hours and was lethargic so I took her in due to concern about dehydration, turns out she had a urinary tract infection, not good in a child her age. She needs further testing to make sure she does not have any urinary tract abnormalities and she will be on antibiotics until the testing is completed. Ds (3) went to the ER 2 x's 1 week apart. One of those trips was due to a lamp falling on his head (he pulled on the round table it was on). He now has a scar to match the rather large scar from when he pulled my jewelry chest onto his head when he was about 20 months old.
Then...in the midst of all of these injuries and sicknessess, our landlord told us the house we are living in is needed for his son. Since we have only been here for 11 months, it was a bit of a shock. Ok- quite a shock. Of course we had no boxes from our last major move which was cross-country-NO WAY was I moving anytime soon! HA! So we've this will make move #12 in 13 years. I'm a bit sick of moving. I'm dog tired just thinking of it,actually. We need to be out by month's end, and we are going to my in-laws. Time is short and we just don't have the funds needed to turn around into another place. With a major move to in-laws from NY, a short distance move to our house, a baby being born and having to move again- we are tapped out. So since in-laws are gracious enough to allow our family of 6 to invade, it looks like we will be there for a while to try and lower our debt substantially. MIL could use help cooking and such and I often run errands for her even now, so it will help them as well, it seems.
Some exciting things have happpened in terms of dh's art in the last month as well.A couple weeks ago he stopped into a gallery that handles abstract art- which is the style dh does. He was just visiting to check them out to see if he should approach them in regards to showing his art. During the course of the visit he showed the gallery owners his website and the next day they went to his studio and took several pieces of his work to show clients for whom they consult. They plan to continue trying to place his art through their consulting, so that is positive. The opportunity to put on an art show at a rather large local chuch has come out of dh's meeting the consultants/gallery owners. Dh had thought they were considering having him put together a show for Easter of various artist's work. He was pleasantly suprised to find out a few days ago that they are interested in an exhibition of his art, much of which is quite tied to scripture in terms of inspiration. So we are very excited about these recent events! As we just moved here and dh has no professional connections this is a great blessing. It will be quite exciting to see what the Lord does and is doing!
Soooo- of we go on more great adventures......
I'll try to get to this more regularly, but with packing and moving and having to pack things in my in-laws house.... I'm thinking it might be sparse....
Jan. 3, 2006 - Happy New Year!! (now- can I take a nap?)
Well it's new year and life goes on as it always does.
I have gotten back into my routine of rising by 5:00AM. I truly enjoy the quiet and time reading the bible and praying. Yesterday I exercised with the FIRM, and today after my quiet time and before breakfast I napped on the couch ~SHHHHHH!~ I could not keep my eyes open! I do only plan to exercise MWF leaving the other days for me to catch up on projects or whatever.
I'm trying to have dicipline in my schedule and I'll admit, it's a bit annoying. You know the whole discipline thing and the fact that I must have it. ~sigh~ I actually cook breakfast most days. You must understand- I thought cooking breakfast 1-2 times a month was good previously. I was NOT a breakfast person. One of the biggest things I don't like about it is that it messes up my kitchen! I try to have it all clean the night before, dishes done, counters wiped,etc. I'm working on training my children to help me do the clean up. They know how to do everything already, but we are working on everyone working togther right after meals and getting it done. I find I'm much more relaxed not that I insist on their help. I keep telling them that work is first, play is a priviledge. It's not like they have no free time, they just want it all. :)
Right now I'm dealing with the 2 littles having opposite naps. Ok, in reality the baby takes a nap and the 3yo stays on his bed...most of the time. It's not like he actually sleeps but once in a blue moon. I still make him rest thought. Yep, I learned with my olders to not allow rest time to disappear. For a while the littles had napped at the same time or close enough so I could lay down with the baby and rest myself. I nurse the baby to sleep and thoroughly enjoy the snuggling. Now the baby wakes just as the 3yo goes down. I have been waking the baby for breakfast so we are all at the table while dh reads a chapter of the bible. The baby would really rather be sleeping, probably because the little stinker has not been knocking out until much later than mom and dad would like. So we are working on tweaking and I'm trying to figure out where and how exactly to go about it. ~think~think~think~
Oh- and did I mention that I am ready for a nap?
We resumed schooling yesterday-the 2nd. The children are using Switched On Schoolhouse for math and science and mom is loving it, especially since dad is overseeing it. :) I definately follow the 'norm' of language/reading/vocabulary being my strengths. I find tha tthe longer I school the more I lean towards the Charlotte Mason method, or rather what I understand her method to be. I've only read part of one of her books, but have read a lot about her methodology,etc. My issue is in trying to come up with a solutin for our family that 'gels' with the more relaxed approach as well as the fact that I want my children to be well armed educationally should they want to go to college. I think the balance is their interest. I supply whatever I can in line with their interests making sure the basics- math, spelling,reading and writing/composition are adequately addressed. I figure that there will come a time when their interests guide them toward their future. I will facilitate in any way possible, but I dont intend to push them, though I will support them. Well, that's my hope anyways. I know from my own experience that a child can be self-directed in terms of education. I still have plenty *I* want to do.
The first thing is..... to take a nap. :)
Dec. 27, 2005 - Happening's of the day.....
dd (dear daughter) 9 is playing the Gameboy (w/out permission I just noticed!), ds (dear son)12 is reading a book to go with a new computer game (he'll read anything asscoiated with a game), ds 3 is playing with his new dinosaur set, and dd 8mos is chewing on ds 3's shoe. She was playing with her new baby band toys, but I guess the shoe is more exciting now. OOPS! she just heard ds 3 playing the harmonica and she's off crawling as fast as possible to track him down! ( I learned a few minutes later that playing the harmonica in my room was his plan to wake up daddy so daddy could untangle his slinky.)
This Christmas was nice, though it was tiring for us. I had been trying to focus on changing our gift patterns. I really enjoy the concept of each child receiving 3 personal gifts modeled after the gold , frankincense, and myrrh that Christ recieved. Now some model the 3 gifts somewhat after the values of the items given to Christ. In other words, varying their expense. We did not worry about that. We actually did not plan it to happen that way this year either- it just did, though I don't mind. They did get a number of family gifts, game boy games, computer game, 2 games appropriate for the 3yo, a season of Little House on the Prairie. I'm sure a few items escape me. I was pleasantly suprised that there was no fussing whatsoever. :) I really want the focus to be Christ, and not greed. I want all of us to enjoy the season not for what we get, but the joy of being with family and/or friends. I want the joy to be in relationships, not of things.
There is a sad note- dh's (dear husband's) cat , Trouble, who is as old as our oldest child is dying. She is very weak and won't eat and has been ailing seriously for a week. She had been dropping weight a bit, but we thought it was a parasite or something. We had her de-wormed, but it had no effect. She's always been a hider, coming out in the evenings for dh to pet her, so her condition was not apparent as readily as if she stayed more in the open. Dh is going to have to take her in to the vet perhaps even today. For her sake it ought to be today. It is a hard thing for dh. Trouble has been through 7 moves with us in almost 13 years, flying from NYC to CA round trip 3 times, I think. (Dh did take her in and he's now pretty sad. We all are.)
Time to to run take care of little ones and get ready for my dental appointment ~yeah~
Dec. 26, 2005 - I admit it, I slept in this AM.
Boy was I tired! I regularly rise at 5am (or close- depends on if baby is wakeful and needs to nurse) and start going about my day. I was especially tired because I was up by 5 on the 22nd as I had my MIL coming over so I could help her make her holiday cheese balls that she gives to her friends and neighbors annually. MIL can't (or shouldn't!) drive currently so I had arranged for a friend of hers to drive her over and dh drive her back when he got home. Mil has a torn ligament in a leg as well as both thumbs in a splints due to them being very painful when used.
On the 23rd I rose at 5am, had my quiet time and shower and begun baking. I was in the kitchen until 10pm, I think. I had baked 6 loaves of banana bread, 3 batches of caramel corn, 2 batches of fudge (one chocolate, one vanilla), and prepped the turkey with the seasoning paste I make.
On the 24th I was again up by 5 so we could hit the road to go to my parents who live approximately 3 hours north for the day. My sister and her family were to be there as well. We were late starting as we had to drop off items at my in-laws, get gasoline, and hunt down some batteries for our new digital camera. I'm a shutterbug and could not stand the thought of running out of battery power! As we'd just gotten the camera I had no idea how long the batteries that came with it would last. We celebrated my dad's birthday (he's a Christmas baby) while at my parents and it was nice for my sister and family to finally meet our 8mo old daughter. We then drove home...... to a slew of unwrapped presents. So after getting the children to bed (the 3 older ones) we began to wrap. Dh saved the day because shortly after we started I had to nurse the baby and fell asleep! I woke back up about 2am and he was just finishing. I was so glad as I was feeling quite ill due to being so tired.
On Christmas we did sleep in until 7 or so, but had to get up and ready for church. I was not able to start the turkey cooking as we have a gas oven and decided it would not be a good idea to start it and leave. Dinner was finally ready at 7pm. MUCH later than we are accustomed to! We try to eat around 2PM at the latest on holidays. Dh and I joked that for presents we'd set up the camcorder on it's tripod and let them have at it while we slept- and watch it when we awoke from a nap. After all 2 of them can read. :) Of course we didn't DO it, but it was enticing. LOL
I have realized how important the naps I try to take every day as I nurse the baby are! I won't get one today, I'm sure, but I look forward to tomorrow when life goes back more towards normal. It's only 10:30 and you guessed it! I'm ready for a nap!
BUT, instead, I need to run as we are running later than we'd hoped in going to MIL's house (15 minutes away) to meet up with the visiting sister-in-laws and their children who stayed the night at my in-laws.
Dec. 13, 2005 - Smoke and Mirrors
Don't you just love mirors? Well, on the good days anyways.... the days when your hair looks perfectly coiffed, and you look (and feel) a few pounds thinner? Mirrors themselves are quite attractive, I think. In a well-lit room they are bright and cheery as they help the light to bounce across the rooom or reflect the view of a window. The problem I have with mirrors is......well...... they reflect things as they are. On good days, this is fabulous! But, if you are like me your fair days or even not-so-good-days are more abundant than the really good ones. :)
I have come to realize than I have a few more mirrors around my house than I had thought. These mirrors can be bright and cheery, or they can be altogether different! These mirrors that I refer to walk about on two legs, with two arms, two eyes, and for now they are a few inches shorter than I. I have realized that children are perfect mirrors. You may have heard the saying that children learn what they live. That statement has become startling clear to me as of late and I must admit, the reflection is rather unsettling. Are my children so misbehaved as to require "Super Nanny" pay us a visit? No. But do they reflect the selfless character of Christ? Not near as much as I wish! But the deeper question is do *I* reflect the selfless character of Christ? Do I possess His heart? You see, mirrors reflect because it is their nature to do so. So it is with children AND adults.
What we reflect and HOW we reflect it is in direct proportion to what is in our hearts. The bible tells us that:
" The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" Jeremiah 17:9
Boy do I know the truth in that verse just by looking honestly at my own heart! I have a song on CD that says at one point "O wretched man, that I am, Who'll deliver me?" It helps to keep my true state at the forefront of my mind. It does not make me sad to hear it, rather it helps me to be focused honestly on my position- one seriously lacking perfection. Recognizing that I am wretched is not fun, but I have great joy in knowing that in my heart dwells One who has delivered me, can deliver me and will deliver me again one day. HOW Amazing!
So back to mirrors. My 4 children are spaced: 2 (a several year gap) and then 2 more. I began to realize the perfect mirrors my children were when my 3rd child began reflecting habits, tones, and ways of doing things that I really did not like, however I had allowed (at times unwittingly) my older children to portray. It was a bit of a wake-up call, I'm afraid. What was even MORE unsettling was the realization of where my older children had picked up their undesirable traits. I have come to realize that in a number of ways and areas I have not fulfilled my obligation towards my children. In many respects it has been due to my desire for my own comfort. ~sigh~ I did not honestly realize how much so. I realized that at times that though I had been disciplining my children's actions, it was like blowing smoke in front of their reflections. Smoke billows, can't be captured, and clouds the view. Just like disciplining actions and not getting to the heart of the issue- your child's heart. I had thought I was being fairly consistent, however, I was consistent with the wrong emphasis. I was trying to capture my children's heart....but what about mine? Trying to capture my children's hearts is a noble effort, and very worthwhile. BUT, if my heart is not first in the right place, my efforts will amount to nothing.
"As he (a man) thinketh in his heart, so is he." Proverbs 23:7a
Very worthwhile words from Proverbs to ponder. Am I thinking on the very character traits/qualities that I desire my children to possess? Am I WORKING to possess them myself through a relationship with Christ, self discipline, and much prayer? Where is my heart? Is it in line with scripture? I must first deal with my own heart issues before I can begin to effectively deal with my children's or to win their hearts. The key question I need to continually ask myself is, "Am I exhibiting Christ to my children today?"
Dec. 7, 2005 - Going's on....
Well- there's one thing about life. It's not boring!
We are awaiting a new computer so my 2yo old one can bump to the kids. We can network the two and that will be nice. They can have their e-mail and do school work on theirs. Their current computer is... I don't know how many years old and cannot handle much in the way of graphics/newer programs. We are going to be using Switched On Schoolhouse (SOS) for math and science for now. I am a weird bird. I like math, yet I hate it. I seriously started at 1+1 my freshman yr of college. I had gaps in knowledge (like how to properly do a long division equation!) that had frustrated me greatly. I loved math- when I understood what I did wrong and HOW to correct it. I spent much of High School very frustrated. Why where half of my problems correct and half wrong???? I don't know how many times I asked and was just told to re-work them. So I have a love/hate relationship with math. When it come to teaching it past say 4th grade- it's pretty much hate. :) I'm not a natural mathematician. As for Science- I love it, but simply have not had time to teach it other than reading the books SL provides. My oldest loves science. I also look fwd to the grading being done for me on the 'puter. I have always struggled with finding time to do it, record it, etc. We have one main living room area- so I don't really have a place to keep things out while in progress, I think that plays a part as well.
I have also been fairly busy just trying to be of help to my MIL. We live 15 minutes away from my in-laws, which is a blessing, but creates challenges as well in that it's hard to just pop over with 4 children in tow. A new complication is transportation. DH has been using his parent's 3rd car- but the transmission is going. He doesn't think it safe to continue driving to and from his studio- mostly freeway. So that means I won't have transportation to do errands or help mil (early 70's) who is suffering from a torn ligamant in a leg, and a numb arm and thumbs that are painful and that she can't manipulate. What can one do with non-functinoing thumbs?? Not much.
Dh and I didn't really want to move back to CA from NYC, but felt it was a good choice for many reasons, and I felt that perhaps there were other "God reasons" related to my in-laws' health. We had hoped it was not the case, but it was a nagging feeling. (Oh-mil was just diagnosed with b****t cancer for the 2nd time earlier this yr. with a few metastisizations (?) in the form of cancer spots on bone from the earlier cancer.) My FIL is not retired yet and is a work-a-holic as well. His plan is to retire to P/T this next year. He is a professor.
So I have not been as productive as I'd like with schooling the children. Part is my own issues just trying to adapt with now 4 children, trying to keep the house running and clean (if it's a mess I can't think straight!), yard work which I enjoy but I'm not used to having to incorporate, and going to my in-laws once a week for the children and me to do yard work, whatever is needed. There are also unplanned things as it relates to -in-laws- spur of the moment needs to help in errands, or car problems, etc. My priority outside of my basic responsibilities at home is helping my in-laws. It can be frustrating in that I have found it hard to get on a schedule as it relates to schooling, however, I feel the greater need right now is helping my in-laws in any way needed. (btw- FIL is not a Christian, MIL is.) My in-laws have been such a *blessing* to us- helping with dh's schooling and numerous other things along life's way.... We want to be blessings to them. I can't be financially, but I do have time and energy and health. Time seems to be slipping fast.... Seeing their grandparents more is good for my children, and I want to model having them and their needs as a priority.
Time to go cook breakfast.... :)
PS- how on earth do people afford cars?????? Like more than one? Or even one? Having lived for 7 yrs w/o a car we are finding it shocking! A buck fifty for a subway ride is looking good!!
Dec. 1, 2005 - 12/1/05
I have never had a blog before and I thought I'd never have one. It just didn't interest me. Ok- I'm now captivated. :) I'll have to find my own style and figure out what to say- that should be interesting. I feel stretched in so many ways right now with 4 children. I never thought I'd have so many, but I am finding great joy in them.
I'm endeavoring to change how I homeschool, how I parent, my outlook as it relates to my children and bringing everything I can in line with scripture with much help from the Holy Spirit, of course. It's quite a lot of work. It's also gratifying.
My top priority to change is my attitude. I still see soooo much room to be more Christ-like in my daily life as I juggle the needs of 4 children in 2 very different age groups, my dh and myself. After reading "Age of Opportunity" by Tripp I realized that I had succombed to the idol of comfort. Ok, I had not succomed to it so much as it was my M.O.- how I was. It was modeled for me a lot as a child and in many ways I just followed what I was taught and saw. I have realized that there is so much more to life and so much more JOY in putting my children as higher priorities then myself. I have them but for a short season, and I want that season to count not only in their character, but in solid relationships with my dh and me, as well as solid relationships with the Lord.
I'm still trying to work out how all of this should look in light of my particular family. Putting my children as higher priorities, but not higher than my dh in any given situation. It's easy for things to get out of balance without really realizing it. Prayer and quiet time is so important! I have been getitng up at 5am, but really need to get up a little earlier. I'm trying to juggle a nursing baby and my wake-up time so I'm not as consistent as I want to be, especially after being sick and the holidays.
My newest fun thing is sitting down to breakfast with my family. This may sound weird to some, but I am *NOT* a breakfast cooker. In the past I was very happy to let the kids get their own cold cereal and go about breakfast their own way. I am feeling much more connected and satisfied when we all sit down at 7:30 am to eat. Dh (who is gone for lunch and dinner) reads a chapter of the bible and we just enjoy each other's company. It brings some much needed connectedness (is that even a word??) for me. It helps to start the day off right.
Well,I guess that's all for now as I must go tend to my children. I'm not sure how regular I'll be in blogging. I'll just take it one day at a time and do it when my family schedule permits.
