Have you ever had one of those days (or weeks?) where nothing seems to go right? Well, I'm in the middle of one of those. Although I'd like for us to be able to pack away the books for a month or so, the kids have dilly-dallied through their work this semester and so we can't stop until we get to a certain point in several subjects. Luckily, most of the work will be done in a few days, but math must go on until the 22nd ... if we take too much time off, my son forgets everything and math is already hard enough as it is.
You must be wondering why I feel like I'm failing ... well, let's see ...
- yesterday, my son copied the answers from the back of his science book onto his workbook page! Yes, he readily admitted it, but I was shocked that he did it and, honestly, I didn't know what to do about it. I was so worn out from the day's events that I just talked it out with him and let it go. Still not sure I handled it right
- the TV and Nintendo DS are being used too much and it's my fault that I'm not watching the time that they kids are spent with these electronic monsters
- I didn't look at the rules for the 4-H baking contest correctly and so my daughter's entry was disqualified ... she took it better than I did! I wanted to cry!
- my 5th grade son seems to only have 3 main focuses (1) when can he take a break? (2) when can he play with his hs friends across the street? and (3) when can he play with his Legos? I'm so tired of his schooling not being of any importance to him. He just races through it to get it done.
- my 7th grade daughter never seems to have enough work to do. Oh, she has her 4-H project that she could work on, but it's not a priority. She's sooooo smart and she could be doing so much more. She's interested in graphic design, but I can't even get her to do something with that once her schoolwork is done.
I'm failing as a parent and teacher. By 2pm, I'm tired of school and I want it to be over. So, really, I can't complain about the kids not doing enough because I am the one that should be pushing them, but I'm not! It's completely and utterly my fault! Now, I've talked all of this over with my dh and he says that I'm being too hard on myself, but I think he's wrong.
I'm just feeling very demoralized as a parent and teacher. My heart isn't in it right now and I don't know what to do to bring me out of this funk. If we bag the rest of the year, then the kids are behind and we won't be able to finish school by the end of May. I just don't want to keep going ... I need a break - 5 months at it is long enough!
Well, there, I've vented and feel a little better. I think I'll go lay down with a nap. Since I'm on a diet, chocolate is off the list, but a nice nap is the next best thing! Prayers are welcome :-)
... Kris ...Posted in homeschooling on Nov. 29, 2006
Comments
Posted by jenn4him
Chris, you are an amazing woman. You have encouraged so many homeschooling moms. You are not failing. You are just not able to see right now how much you are accomplishing. Yes, TV and video games are a problem. But in your heart, don't you see how remaining faithful to what the Lord is calling you to do will in the end bless you and your children. Take heart. This will pass. You will be lifted up in prayer.
Jenn
Posted by mrskitch
Don't give up...pray, pray, pray. Lean on God and he will get you through this. I will be praying for you too.
Posted by deedeeuk
Days like this happen to us all! But those thoughts that you are a failure are nothing but an attack from the enemy!! Don't listen to him. You are a wonderful (though of course not perfect!), loving, caring, supportive, involved, hard working, creative, fun loving, and Godly mother!! And don't you forget it!!!!!!! Wish I could give you a big (((HUG))). You'll have to take a raincheck on that till next month. I owe you one!
Have you considered doing something different for the next couple of weeks? Maybe do a Christmas based unit study? Something that will count as school but give you all a much needed break from the norm? I know sometimes we can get so focused on having to finish that whole workbook, or covering all the textbook, or not missing any part of this course or that. Most schools never finish any prescibed course of work for a year! I can't remember finishing any of my books when I was in school!! I know you must clock up the required hours, but maybe doing something a bit different for these past few weeks might help you all!! Just a suggestion. I'm praying for you!!
Posted by eclecticeducation
I have to agree with deedeeuk, it sounds like you need to do something different, something fun for a little bit. If your getting burned out, your kids probably are too. They won't give you 100% if they are burned out. I'll pray for you.
Posted by jewls2texas
I am praying for you. Gosh, doesn't every homeschool mom understand what this feels like.
Heavenly Father, I lift my discouraged friend to You right now Lord, and ask that You see the hurt, frustration and sense of failure that she is feeling right now Lord - and come close to comfort her. Lord, You have said that You are a God who is familiar with all our sufferings because You came and walked among us - and Lord I have to believe that is even the frustrations and discouragement of a homeschool mom. Lord, help Kris to know she is on the path You have ordained for her family, and give her a time of refreshing that she may experience joy in serving you as she keeps her children home - regardless of every sign that may signal failure to her. Help her find ways to restore the love of learning in her children Father, and yet, allow her steadfast pursuit of the goal of raising godly children never falter in the face of discouraging circumstances.
Give her love and strength for this day. Amen!
Posted by JacqueDixonSoulRestES
* Have you ever had one of those days (or weeks?) where nothing seems to go right?*
I would have to agree with everyone and say - OH YES! Don't we all?
It has nothing to do with failing. Maybe it has more to do with God and the direction He is moving you in. I know He doesn't want you to feel like a failure or depressed.
I know from personal experience that sometimes God leads His People into a direction we haven't been before and if we don't recognize it, we may feel overwhelmed and lost - like we are failing our own expectations, God's and our children.
Ask him if He has a new direction He wants you to take. Ask Him what His heart is for you and your precious children. You are fulfilling a Godly responsibility in answering His call to instruct your children at home, and He will be faithful to your answering.
I know that if He created me and our children, then He knows them best. I know them 'next-best', but He knows them best. Lean on him. Let Him take the burden you are feeling and give you a peaceful end.
I agree with eclecticeducation when she says that if you are feeling burnt-out, then maybe your children are too. I don't think you need to scrap homeschool, but think outside the box and find things away from workbooks, tv, friends and the games -look into God's creation - and see how much your children can show you they know. Let them endear themselves to your heart in a way that you want to teach them and they want to learn.
I hope it's ok to give you advice like this, when I don't know you very well; it is with the best intentions and prayers I give it!
Be blessed and rest in your Father.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."
Jacque
Mom to SuperAngel, Myrtle, Tigerlily and Young Man in Training
Posted by mamatc
I understand Kris. I understand...
The things that you described are very common to all homeschooling parents. It seems like you cruise along for awhile and things are great, then WHAMO! It all is in 'shambles'. The feeling of failure is because you are well aware that you are the parent who is in charge of all of this and if it fails it's your fault.
I have some good news for you. We are ALL failures. We just don't all post about it! I have had a hard time lately too and it just got worse when our mortgage check got to the bank before my husbands paycheck. Guess who does the finances? Yep, I do. I failed. I made an error in our budget and started a chain reaction of financial chaos.
But God...He is there and He sees and knows all. He does not condemn you, so why condemn yourself? (preaching to myself too) I agree w/the other ladies. Just take a quick break and breathe! Have fun and do something spontaneous for a day or two. Just make sure to breathe and pray and breathe again. You have our support and we won't report you to the homeschool police! Promise!
Blessings,
Traci :)
Posted by MaxwellAcademy
Trust me, you are experiencing some serious burnout. Take that break, the kids will not go stupid on you, trust me. I know what you mean by feeling that you are failing them, but when I think like that I try to remind myself to think of the bigger picture. So they are not learning their math as quickly as we'd like, at least they are not learning about the power of drugs, etc., in the public schools. So they aren't interested in learning more about computer design (or whatever), they are still doing things that are bringing them enjoyment.
I'm all for limiting the electronics, but I rarely ever do. Sad to admit, but it is a crutch I use to keep my kids busy and out of my hair pretty often.
Thanks for giving me some things to think about, it is good to know I'm not alone.
Dianna
Posted by sockmonkey
So I just typed these words into my search engine: "How do I restore the love of learning in my kids?".....and this blog popped up! How weird is that? Kris - I AM THERE WITH YOU! I'm in the exact same spot. I am so disheartened that my kids "just want to get done with school" so they can do ANYTHING else. And we actually DO limit electronics/tv to 1 hour per weekday. The rest of the time they complain about being bored. I am so over it! I've been praying about chucking our whole approach (eclectic, relaxed) and trying something totally different. I've been researching the Thomas Jefferson Education materials, and have been intrigued. But I haven't yet figured-out how to BEGIN where we are, since I have completely snuffed-out my children's (natural?) love of learning. All I know is that I don't want to continue the way we are. I want my children to be curious and self-motivated. That does not appear to be the path we're on, so we need to jump the tracks, I think.
I heard a workshop by Andrew Pudewa titled, "Rebuilding Your Education Paradigm." It was very motivating.....you might try finding it at his website (IEW). The work is all on my part now to figure-out how to implement the changes we need. Frankly, I've pretty much decided that for the month of December we're going to do math, reading and household skills (cooking, cleaning, decorating). And I'm going to figure out how to begin the new year with a new education paradigm in our home.
This has turned out to be more of a blog post and less of a comment....I may copy it to my long-neglected blog!
One other thing....I heard Joyce Herzog once say that parents want to quit homeschooling twice a year: December and May! So I'm sure that you and I are not alone in our frustration! I will pray for you....will you pray for me?
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