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Communication FUNdamentals
Apr. 5, 2006
How to Win Friends and Influence Employees!
I guess it's all in how you look at things. This has been
floating around the internet for years. I thought it makes a good
communication point. And, of course, best of all...it's funny!
Company Policy Changes
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The following policy changes will go into effect immediately.
Dress Code:
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.
If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your moneybetter so
that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need raise.
Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of
sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to
come to work.
Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
Toilet Use:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a
strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three
minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet
paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken.
After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category."
Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all
questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations,
aggravations, insinuations,
allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation or input should be directed elsewhere.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company.
From JoJo's Purple Crayon...
http://www.ArtofEloquence.com
http://www.SayWhatYouMeanConvention.com
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Comments
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Posted by
Posted by
Apr. 5, 2006 - Untitled Comment
That is hilarious! I've seen a bzillion things floating around through cyberspace, but I haven't had this one sent to me yet (which is amazing in and of itself). Too funny-- thanks for sharing!
Love,
Marsha