Yesterday
I wrote about objections and how we really should see them as
opportunities. Well I was thinking about how to handle these
disagreements because I get
asked all the time about confrontations. Most people don't like
confrontations. They don't mind answering questions, but they
don't want to be GRILLED! ROFL
10 Quick Rules for Disagreeing in Grace
By JoJo Tabares
So
how should we object? What's the best way to disagree? How
can we voice our opposition when someone presents us with something
that goes against what we believe? How can we discuss and
share instead of antagonize and frustrate? How? Just the
way you would wish someone else would disagree with YOU! Here
are 10 quick rules for disagreeing so that it will open a door to
discussion instead of slamming it shut on your relationship: 1. Don't Accuse Instead
of coming out and saying someone is wrong, just share what you
know. Nobody wants to hear they are wrong and if they hear it,
they are likely not listening to anything else you say. They may
indeed be wrong, but you need to ask yourself if you want to be right
or if you want to be heard! 2. Listening Without Interrupting It
doesn't look like you are anxious to share your views if you
interrupt. To them, it feels like you aren't giving due attention
to their arguments. If you are not willing to listen to others,
they will not be willing to listen to you! 3. Be Calm The
best way to share your views with anyone is in a calm and rational
manner. The more passionate you are about a topic, the harder
that will be. When you give a speech, being passionate about it
is beneficial, but when you are trying to change someone's mind or
heart, it is a deterrent. Nobody wants to be forced into
accepting something. They want to come to their own conclusions
after hearing all the facts. 4. Don't Condemn the Person; Question the Issues Remember
always that the Lord loves His children. It's the sin He hates.
Keep in mind that people are not machines. We don't
switch our sin on and off. Ask questions.
Share. Condemn the action if you must, but never condemn the
person that Jesus loves! 5. Give new Christians a Chance Before
I ever came to accept Jesus, I didn't know His Word. I cannot
accept what I do not know. I had to spend time reading the Bible
before I could grow in my faith. As I grew closer to the Lord,
the more I wanted to live my life for Him. I didn't start off
witnessing. It wasn't until later that I decided not to participate in
things like Santa and the Easter Bunny. Be sure not to stumble a
fairly new Christian because he is not yet ready or willing to
make a change. 6. Address their Concerns If
they ask you a question, by all means answer! Sometimes people
may not come out and ask but you can tell they have a concern by their
body language or their facial expression. If they object, by all
means address it. Calmly share what you know about their
concerns. 7. Say "I Dunno" When
you don't know the answer someone needs, the most intelligent thing to
say is "I dunno." The quickest way to lose credibility with
someone is to speak too quickly. If someone asks you something
about the Bible and you can't remember where the scripture is, tell
them you will find it for them. You don't need to have all of the
Bible memorized and categorized in your head to share the Gospel.
People appreciate honesty! 8. Let it Go In
order to avoid an argument, when they are no longer listening, stop
talking! As soon as someone is giving off signals that they are
not accepting your views, it's usually best not to press the issue and
begin an argument. Remember that the Lord may use you simply to
plant a seed. Someone else may be sent to water it. Only
God can change a heart and you may have already done your part.
Don't mess up God's work! ROFL 9. Don't Argue Art
of Eloquence offers a Tshirt Transfer and Puzzle Download with a very
powerful saying on it. "Don't argue with a fool. Someone
watching might not be able to tell the difference" -Author
Unknown Arguing only inflames the other party and renders them
incapable of really listening to what you have to say. Arguing
never persuades anyone and if it does, they certainly would
never admit it! 10. Agree to Disagree Tis
better to agree to disagree and live to discuss another day than to
fight for your right to be a pest! Sometimes people are not ready
to hear or accept what you have to say. Sometimes you are only
one in a long line of people the Lord will use to share Jesus with this
person. Share and discuss in love and grace and then let it
go. God is in control. Let Him work. We
have not been commanded to make Christians. We have merely been
called to share God's love and grace and mercies with those who would
listen and pray for those who don't.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ JoJo
Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication. Her Christian and
humorous approach to communication skills has made her a sought after
speaker. JoJo's articles have appeared in various homeschool
magazines and websites such as Dr. Laura.com. Her Say What You Mean curricula is endorsed by The Old Schoolhouse Magazine and her eBook, Say What You Mean When You're in Business, has
been used by direct sales leaders and small business owners
alike. For more information, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com or http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/CommunicationFUNdamentals/ ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
From JoJo's Purple Crayon... 
Say What You Mean Series of Communication FUNdamentals
for Christians PreK-Adult
If you want to teach/learn the communication skills required to be a
more effective witness for Christ, I invite you to check out Art of Eloquence studies.
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Jun. 20, 2006 - Untitled Comment