Six Ways to be a Bad
Conversationalist
by JoJo Tabares
Everyone can talk, but not everyone is a good
conversationalist. If you haven't had much experience or training, there are
some conversation mistakes that can make you someone nobody wants to talk
to.
1. Mr. Prove-It:
Mr. Prove-It will make you prove the validity of
everything that comes out of your mouth. Having a conversation with him is like
swimming upstream. Their favorite expression is "Really?!". They take all the
fun out of a conversation! Often they can be found leaning back in their chair,
stroking their chin with a look of superiority on their face. Mr. Prove-It
leaves no stone unturned. This is an extreme example but Mr. Prove-It can be
more subtle:
Mr. Prove-It: So when are you leaving
on your trip to Hawaii?
Mr. Trapped-Rat: About 3am. We got
50% off, but it has some strings.
Mr. Prove-It: 50% off? Really?!
Mr. Trapped-Rat: Yes. We were so
excited ...
Mr. Prove-It: That doesn't sound
right!
Mr. Trapped-Rat: Yes. It's a
promotion for employees where I work. We are very excited because this is the
first time we have ever been to Hawaii...
Mr. Prove-It: Why would they do that?
Gas prices are skyrocketing right now?
Conversation with Mr. Prove-It is a chore. When Mr. Trapped-Rat
sees Mr. Prove-It coming, he'll be inclined to run the other
direction!
2. I. M. Oblivious:
Ida Mae Oblivious is also frustrating. She never seems to pay
attention to what the other person is saying. She is usually quick to point out
what others should be doing, but never quite absorbs the information she hears.
Listening is not her forte. She's a talker!
Ida Mae: We are all going out party
hopping after the Prom. Come along with us.
H. Earme: No thank you. I have to
get home.
Ida Mae: Oh everyone is going to go!
Come on!
H. Earme: No thank you. I am not
really a party hopper. lol
Ida Mae: Well, then it's time you
started!
H. Earme: No, really. I'm just going
to go home. I have work tomorrow.
Ida Mae: Oh, come on! One late night
won't kill ya!
H. Earme: No really. I have to work
tomorrow.
Ida Mae: So, you call in sick
tomorrow! Come on!
Ida Mae just doesn't give up. When she's not trying to talk
someone into doing something they don't want, she is busy sharing ideas with
people who couldn't care less! People like to make their own decisions. They
usually don't appreciate Ida Mae's input and usually try to avoid conversations
where they know she will have an opinion!
3. Me MyselfandI
This conversationalist is so consumed with herself that she
never comments on what others have said. She's the one in the group who is
always talking about her own experiences. "Me" never asks questions of anyone
else and so she knows very little about anyone. She is of no help to anyone
because she never answers questions unless it is with a story about "when it
happened to me...".
Nobody OfConsequence: I am a little
nervous about all these medical tests. I am praying nothing is really
wrong.
Ms MyselfandI: Six years ago I had a
bunch of tests. I was so nervous that I had to have my dh ....
Nobody ofConsequence: I would
appreciate your prayers that everything goes ok.
Ms. MyselfandI: Oh I remember how
everyone prayed for me. Do you know that I had people praying all over the
world?
Ms. MyselfandI listens "with her answer running" as they say.
She doesn't really listen, but instead, lay in wait for her chance to speak.
She is instead, rehearsing what she will say in silence until it is, again, her
turn in the spotlight. She doesn't relate her experiences in order to relate
with others or give them comfort. She does so to be the center of attention and
her motives are almost always transparent.
Jul. 13, 2006 - Untitled Comment