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Communication FUNdamentals
Jul. 15, 2008
A Day Without Communication is like...IMPOSSIBLE: Friendship
Concluding this week with my series, A Day Without Communication is like...IMPOSSIBLE!
You may be able to get through your entire life without ever having to make a speech but you can't get through one single day without communicating something to somebody!
In the last eight weeks, I have shared how communication is important, not just for making speeches or for debate, but for every day life. I talked about the importance of communication skills in marriage, parenting, defending and sharing your faith, learning, college prep , interviewing for a job, Job Success and business ownership. The last major area of life in which communication plays a vital role is friendship.
9. Friendship
"A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver." Proverbs 25:11
Good communicators enjoy:
- Self Confidence
- Leadership
- Personal Presence
- Credibility
- Ability to Explain and Persuade
- Understanding of Others
- Interaction Enjoyment
- Happiness
And all of these qualities help us make friends and maintain relationships!
A study by the National Communication Association in 2001 revealed that "Youngsters with poor communication skills are sometimes viewed as less attractive by their peers and enjoy fewer friendships. Antisocial and violent behavior often accompany or occur with underdeveloped social and conflict management skills. On the positive side, the ability to communicate orally supports sound psychological development. One's self concept is acquired through interaction with others."
The study shows that effective communicators are more likely to make contributions in groups, exert influence over others to achieve a desired result and use socially acceptable behavior in doing so to accomplish many of their wants and needs.
"Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." Proverbs 16:24
Effective communicators are also better equipped to handle anger in a positive way. The American Psychological Association outlines four communication based steps to take when dealing with anger:
- Talk about your feelings
- Calmly express yourself
- Listen to others
- Negotiate
"An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city, and disputes are like the barred gates of the citadel." Proverbs 18:19
Those with ineffective communication skills are unable to share their thoughts and calmly express themselves in order that their friends might understand them. Further, they are unwilling to listen to others and negotiate with them in order to work through the inevitable issues friends have.
Communication skills have always been important to master, but recent technological advances have left individuals with the impression that communication is easy and unimportant to study. Many have come to think of communication as the very narrow speech and debate necessary only for lawyers and politicians. If communication skills were not an important subject worthy of the attention given to math, science and history, then why has the Lord seen fit to mention it hundreds and hundreds of times in His Word?
"Let your conversation always be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." Colossians 4:6
"But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:" 1Peter 3:15
"From the fruit of his mouth a man's stomach is filled; with the harvest from his lips he is satisfied." Proverbs 18:20
"The wise in heart accepts commands, but the chattering fool comes to ruin." Proverbs 10:8
"He who answers before listening-that is his folly and his shame." Proverbs 18:13
"A fool's mouth is his undoing, and his lips are a snare to his soul." Proverbs 18:7
"A fool finds no pleasure in understanding, but delights in airing his own opinions." Proverbs 18:2
"With his mouth the godless destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge the righteous escape." Proverbs 11:9
"The lips of the righteous nourish many, but fools die for lack of judgement." Proverbs 10:21
"-So is my word that goes out from my mouth: it will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." Isaiah 55:11
The world is a smaller place through technology and we are no longer sharing our thoughts with only like-minded individuals. Communication technology does not equal communication skill and effective communication is required in every day life more today than ever before!
In a recent article some disturbing statistics are found in the UK which I believe are mirrored in the United States today:
"The number of children who arrive at primary school unable to speak in full sentences is rising, according to a government review which today reveals that 7% of children now have a serious communication problem."
"In some of the most disadvantaged areas of the country, up to 50% of children had speech problems"
"If a child is exposed to a relentless diet of TV and computer games and deprived of interaction at home, that is very damaging."
The article goes on to say that "Instead of being an optional add-on, communication skills should be at the heart of the primary curriculum ... speech and listening have been elbowed out of schools for literacy and numeracy for too long." And it confirms that "...people have fewer options through life if they cannot speak"
Virginia Beardshaw, chief executive of I CAN, a speech charity, said: "Communication is the fundamental life skill for the 21st century."
Don't make the mistake of thinking that your child will learn to communicate well just by talking. Don't wait until he is in high school or college to begin teaching communication skills to your student. Speech and debate classes can teach a great deal but speech and debate are NOT the only communication skills we need to master!
Communication touches every aspect of our every day lives and each communication skill is unique and distinct. You cannot learn to communicate effectively in your marriage, as a parent, to share or defend your faith or in business by taking one college speech class. There is much more to communication skills than just speech and debate and it is vital that we take steps to ensure our children have the skills they need for success all areas of life!
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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer. Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula. You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com. For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, including Say What You Mean Every Day, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com
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From JoJo's Purple Crayon...
Where's FIMM? Did you find himm this week?
Where's FIMM? Come find the only Foot in Mouth Man picture that is different from all the rest. Email what he looks like and where you found himm to fimm@artofeloquence.com and you could win a free Art of Eloquence eProduct of your choice!
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