We can put a man on the moon.. we can communicate with people all over the world through the technology of the internet, but we can't iron wrinkles out of a shirt! The face of ironing hasn't changed much since it was invented and it's a chore, as Dr. Seuss put it, "I can't stand in the least"!
Let's investigate this phenomenon:
You start off with a mildly wrinkled, clean shirt your dh needs to wear tomorrow. First, major planning is required if you have little ones. If you don't think so, you've never had a hot iron nearly fall off the ironing board as your two year old son rounds the corner with his remote control car.
Next, you take out your ironing board and set it up in a place that's most inconvenient. There never seems to be an open plug anywhere where you can watch TV to take your mind off the seemingly endless job of wrinkle removal. As you unfold the ironing board, it emits this ear piercing screech that will surely wake up the baby -shattering any hopes you might have had about getting this all done during his nap. So... setting the iron up again as Jr's in the playpen (and biding time with toys and cute talk), you begin to pray!
Ironing is really a matter of communication. Ok, now the old gal has really gone off her nut, right? Actually it's really a matter of MIScommunication. Here's the scenario:
Now the real fun begins! The first communication failure is when you try to figure out how on earth you can lay this shirt down so that it's flat enough all the way around in order to attempt to iron it correctly. You begin to fiddle and, as you do, you naturally talk to the shirt to try to get it to cooperate. Unfortunately shirts know just how to sit there like dead weight making it difficult for you to position. You fiddle. You faddle and finally you decide it's not going to get any better.
While holding the shirt in place with one hand as best you can to keep it from wriggling out of position, you grab the HOT iron with the other hand and begin to talk the iron through the process.
"Ok now come on! Let's just get one section done before Johnny gets bored with the playpen. UGH! Too late!"
Coming back to the iron minutes or even hours later...
Now you really need to get this done. It's 10pm, the kids are in bed and hubby needs this shirt for tomorrow. You start to iron-carefully laying the shirt on the board and, after several agonizing minutes, the left front is done. Yaahooo! The back is going pretty well until you realize that there is a yellow stain that is suddenly visible!
"Now where did THAT come from! It wasn't there before!" you mutter to yourself.
Looking at the iron you notice that there is a little residue inside the steam holes.
"Great! Now I have to wash it again! Ok! It's only on the bottom, nobody will see it when he tucks his shirt in. Now, can we just get the rest of this done before I'm wrinkled?"
As you continue to iron the back of the shirt, the cord catches on the shirt tail lifting it up so quickly that, by the time you notice, you have just ironed a wrinkle INTO the shirt. Now this is no ordinary wrinkle. This is a permanent crease in the shirt! You iron madly- trying to get it out while pleading with your iron to do this one little thing for you!
It's no use and now you're frustrated enough so that you almost don't care what it looks like, you just want to STOP IRONING! You lay the sleeves on the board and crab at the iron:
"Just get this done before midnight, shall we?"
You hang the shirt up and wonder if you shoudn't have just left it alone in the first place.
Now, as I said, ironing has remained pretty much the same for over 100 years. Oh they've made some attempts at Ironing Technology, but it falls far short of being called an advancement!
When I was a little girl they came out with "Permanent Press". Now the word permanent means: 1. not temporary, 2. continuing and enduring without fundamental or marked change, 3. stable. So a Permanent Press Shirt should remain permanently pressed, right? WRONG! Now what it could mean is that when you unintentionally put a crease in the shirt with your iron, it's PERMANENT! I have had shirts that retained an ironing crease wash after wash! Thanks guys!!
Now being anti-ironing as I am, I have found a better way and I want to share it with you. This is JoJo's No Iron Ironing Technique and it will let you live a ironing stress free life where you will never have to communicate with your iron again. Here's what you do:
1. After washing the shirts, put them in the dryer and set your timer so you take them out of the dryer immediately, if not sooner!
2. Hang the shirts up directly after you remove them from the dryer and let them cool.
3. Don't hang them too close to each other. You don't want them fraternizing with each other causing any unnecessary wrinkling.
4. DON'T iron them. Ironing is futile!
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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer. Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula. You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com. For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication skills for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com
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From JoJo'sPurple Crayon...
Where's FIMM? Did you find himm this week? Where's FIMM? Come find the only Foot in Mouth Man picture that is different from all the rest. Email what he looks like and where you found himm to fimm@artofeloquence.com and you could win a free Art of Eloquence eProduct of your choice!
Hi JoJo,
How did you find out my ironing secret? :)
My dh hasn't figured out after nearly 30 years why I don't want the shirts crammed into a closet too tightly - but he has figured out that if he wants his all-cotton work shirts ironed he's going to have to do it himself. I will take the time and effort needed for church shirts, but they don't usually need it since they are 50/50 cotton/polyester, and they respond wonderfully to the no-iron ironing.
I loved this post!
Sarah
I was raised by two Atheists of Jewish heritage, married a non practicing Catholic and became a non denominational Christian due, in part, to some Amway meetings and a Jehovah's Witness who came to my door. My purple crayon writes with humor and almost always a little out of the lines.
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This blog is my creative and fun way of sharing my thoughts on communication skills relating mostly to homeschooling and sharing and defending the faith. It also reveals a bit about how the Lord took this shy Agnostic girl and allowed her to find her voice and her purpose, a zany voice to the Christian community with insight as to what unbelievers need to hear about Christ Jesus.
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I'll share news items, quotes, family friendly humor, tips, trivia, and my newest feature: Question of the Week. I invite you to come share your thoughts!
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For more creative fun with JoJo you can visit www.ArtofEloquence.com
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"A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver." -Proverbs 25:11
Oct. 20, 2008 - Ironing
How did you find out my ironing secret? :)
My dh hasn't figured out after nearly 30 years why I don't want the shirts crammed into a closet too tightly - but he has figured out that if he wants his all-cotton work shirts ironed he's going to have to do it himself. I will take the time and effort needed for church shirts, but they don't usually need it since they are 50/50 cotton/polyester, and they respond wonderfully to the no-iron ironing.
I loved this post!
Sarah