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Communication FUNdamentals
Oct. 21, 2008
Day 11: 21 Days to More Godly Communication-Flattery
Day 11 in my series "21 Days to More Godly Communication" focuses on flattery. I found at least 30 scriptures that warn us about flattery. This is one of them:
"With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him." -Proverbs 7:21
Sometimes a kind word has an ulterior motive that will lead us somewhere God doesn't want us to go. It can be a distraction or a lure. Flattery may be used as bait to entice us toward sin or away from the work the Lord has for us. Let's look at this verse a bit closer.
First we notice that we can tell a person is using flattery and not just a kind word or complement because she has "much fair speech". One of the ways we can discern flattery is the sheer amount of sappy, drippy, gushy words. A few days ago, I spoke about Eddie Haskell, the character from Leave it to Beaver. His speech was always dripping with honey so that you often wondered about his motives even when he was just being kind.
Next we see that the flatterer "caused him to yield". Flattery so dripping with honey that causes you to stop what you are doing or where you are going is of concern-especially if where you were going is directed by the Lord. I don't mean the kind word that causes you to stop and engage in a conversation with someone, but rather a series of flattering words that cause you to put your life's mission on hold or change direction in your work. If this change leads you away from where the Lord is leading you, it is a distraction that is not of the Lord.
Lastly we see that flattery can be so powerful as to actually "force" us away from God's path for us. How can words be strong enough to deter us in our mission? Words are powerful things! How strong can words be? God spoke the world into existence. It isn't called the Word of God for nothing. The words contained in the Bible are powerful for us to comprehend and apply to our Christian life.
How strong can words be? You will remember that it only took words from the serpent to cause Eve to sin. Words caused Eve to convince Adam to sin. Words are what enabled Hitler to gain power and words are what it took to convince others to follow him once he got there. Words were all it took for Jim Jones to convince 900 People's Temple members to take their own lives at Jonestown.
Carefully chosen words are a powerful tool that can be used for good or for evil. The Lord warns us here and in several other passages that we are to beware of those who flatter us for it is tempting to lead where they follow. And where they lead may not be where the Lord would have us go.
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JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer. Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula. You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com. For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication studies for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com
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