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Communication FUNdamentals
Mar. 1, 2006
What's Your Communication Personality?
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What's Your Communication Personality?
By JoJo Tabares
Are you a Gabby Gloria or a Shy Sheila? And how can knowing this help
you be a more effective communicator? Understanding your communication
personality can allow you to make slight changes in your communication
style that can help you relate better to others. Most people are some
combination but may be dominant in one. Here are some basic
communication personalities and some tips for better communication if
you find yourself talking to one or if you find that you are one!
1. Gabby Gloria is an extrovert, relationships mean a lot, she makes
you feel like you are important, but she may never get to the point,
forget what she was going to say and may jump from one topic to another
without warning.
If you are a Gabby Gloria...
You are
surrounded by people because you are a lot of fun!! You are always
doing things and going places and people love to hear the stories you
tell! However, you can sometimes overwhelm others or hog the spotlight.
Make sure to really listen to those you communicate with and draw them
in, especially if they are a Shy Sheila! You also tend to overlook
important details and may, in your enthusiasm, jump around from one
thought to the next. This makes people like Analytical Andrea very
frustrated. Slow down and let your audience have time to digest what
you are saying because sometimes you speak so quickly that they have a
hard time following you.
Gabby Gloria is fun, but may not
get her point across because she is not an organized communicator. To
become an effective communicator, Gabby Gloria needs to remember her
point and get there by taking a direct route. She confuses people as
her mind wanders and she gets to gabbing. She needs to slow down and
concentrate on purposeful conversation. Gabby Gloria writes this way
too and that is even more confusing for her readers. Use an outline
when writing to keep on track. Use a mental outline when speaking. Use
notes when making a speech. Time yourself to get used to having a
limited time to get your point across.
If you are talking to a Gabby Gloria...
You might not get a word in edgewise, but you will be entertained!! If
you are trying to befriend a Gabby Gloria, you will have no problem at
all. She will love to engage in conversation. If, however, you are
trying to persuade her or tell her something of great importance, you
will need to speak her language to get her attention. Gabby Glorias
don't like just the facts, they love the embellishments. They love a
good story with a build to the climax and a surprise ending. Make the
story exciting, build the suspense, use facial expressions and hand
gestures and body language. Use props if you can, anything to keep her
attention if it is a longer period of time. If your story reminds her
of another great story, she may feel the urge to tell it in its
entirety! If you need her to remain focused to finish your thought, you
will need to catch her before she finishes taking a breath and steer
her right back to your point.
2. Shy Sheila is an introvert usually with low self confidence. She may almost seem snobby or uncertain in social situations.
If you are a Shy Sheila...
It is hard for you to enter into a conversation because you feel like
you are interrupting or that you are an outsider. You are afraid of
saying the wrong thing and so you lay back and let others talk. People
like you because you really listen to them! This is a wonderful gift
you give others. You must learn to speak up and take chances. Speak
clearly and loud enough so others can hear you. You have wonderful
insights from all that listening you do-a blessing to bestow upon
others! Take tiny steps in asserting yourself, don't try to do it all
at once. As you can see not everyone is always happy with the Gabby
Gloria's of the world either. Every communication personality has its
strengths and weaknesses.
Shy Sheila needs to be a little
more bold. Increase your volume and articulation. If you have something
to say...it's worth hearing! Don't worry so much about how you look.
Smile! Be friendly. Say hello! Get involved!
If you talking to a Shy Sheila...
Draw her out. Ask for her opinion; she has a lot to offer!! Don't
overwhelm her with loud thundering and excited communication especially
in a crowd. Encourage her.
3. Bold Betty is an extrovert,
sticks her foot in her mouth, speaks without thinking, doesn't consider
her audience before she opens her mouth, but gets stuff done!
If you are a Bold Betty...
Confidence and power are yours! Valuable traits to be sure, but you
tend to speak first and think about the consequences later. And there
are some!! Channel that assertiveness and excitement that you have and
focus it on others. Keep in mind how others may interpret your
communication. Be careful that you don't scare off any Shy Sheilas with
your zeal! You are refreshingly honest about yourself and others. Just
make sure that your honesty doesn't step all over someone else's
insecurity.
Bold Betty needs to consider the feelings of her
audience. Put yourself in their shoes. Think before you speak. How will
this sound to ...Mary, Bob,...little Johnny! Tone it down a little bit
for Shy Sheila she gets nervous by all that yelling! Before it comes
out of your mouth, before you hit that send button, before you mail
that letter, ...make sure you look it over to make sure you chose your
words carefully or that your topic will not automatically offend
someone.
If you are talking to a Bold Betty...
Keep in
mind that she usually doesn't mean any harm. She just doesn't see how
others may interpret her honesty and zest for life. Pay attention to
her assessments, they are almost always very astute. She sees the world
differently and thank God she does because she brings a new and fresh
perspective when she speaks. She enjoys honesty and bluntness as well.
Tell her what you think! She usually has thick skin and will often ask
for critical analysis of herself.
4. Careful Carla is an
introvert, thinks too much before she speaks, never offends anyone, may
not get her point across because she is too vague.
If you are a Careful Carla...
You are a dear sweet one. You take such care in speaking to everyone
and often lift up others because you can see that they are hurting when
no one else can. On the other hand, you often take so long to formulate
a response to something that your opportunity has passed to really make
a difference in someone's life though you desperately want to. Trust
yourself and ask the Lord for guidance when you feel lead to speak to
someone. Then jump in with both feet. The Lord gave you a heart to help
and you are responsible with other's feelings so trust your instincts.
If you are talking to a Careful Carla...
Understand that she is afraid to do the wrong thing. She is thinking
and carefully planning her thoughtful response to your query. She
doesn't say anything lightly. So when she offers you some advice, just
know that she has given the matter due consideration. Draw her out by
telling her that she wont' hurt your feelings.
5. Amiable
Annie wants to please. She is afraid of confrontation and hurting
anyone's feelings so she says nothing of importance.
If you are an Amiable Annie...
You are very much like a combination of our Careful Carla and Gabby
Gloria. You go to great lengths to please others. You are very easy to
get along with are well liked by others. Sometimes though, you feel a
little used. You do so much for others and many times you don't feel
appreciated for your efforts. You also feel that people take advantage
of your good nature and helpfulness. Try to remember that it is you who
is suggesting usually! If you really cannot do something for someone,
don't volunteer! If someone asks you to do something that you don't
want to do, you can say no politely without hurting their feelings.
Most people understand that you have your own life to lead and would
not be offended in any way should you say no.
If you are talking to an Amiable Annie...
Be careful with her. She will bend over backwards to help even a
stranger just because she sees a need. She feels like she is expected
to help or that she cannot say no without offending. Give her an out if
she offers or if you ask. Let her know that you would understand if she
had to say no. Ask to help her! Publicly thank her for all she has done
for you-early and often!! Appreciation is the fuel that keeps an
Amiable Amy going. Don't let her run dry!
6. Analytical Andrea
likes to analyze everything before she moves forward with an idea. She
is chalk full of knowledge about things in general. However, she often
passes her deadlines while over analyzing things to the point of being
ridiculous.
If you are an Analytical Andrea...
You are
full of statistics and facts. People come to you for them and are
amazed at how you can keep all that stuff in your head without it
spilling out your ears!! But...you also have a tendency to analyze
things to death! You are perceived as wasting time or nit picking
things to death in your thirst for information upon which to make a
decision. People are sometimes frustrated by your thoroughness. You
need to understand that sometimes it is best to make a decision based
on the facts available at the time and that some things are just idle
conversation. You have a tendency to be the Conversation Correction
Patrol passing judgment on those who have inferior arguments. Sometimes
it's just a conversation, not life or death!
If you are talking to an Analytical Andrea...
Pick this person's brain. There's enough there to fill a computer!! She
loves to talk turkey about statistics. She's the answer man! Understand
that she is trying to be accurate, not pick on you for your lack of
knowledge. Don't take offense so easily, none is meant.
7.
Dynamic Darla is a Bold Betty with a purpose. She is very clear in her
communication but is sometimes intimidating to others.
If you are a Dynamic Darla...
You are a dynamo and people often marvel at how much you have
accomplished! You are a no nonsense type person who enjoys achievement.
Others learn a lot from you. However, you also are very intimidating to
people like Shy Sheila and Careful Carla. In order to reach them you
will need to tone down a little bit. Engage in small talk to get to
know others better and let them warm up to you. Be careful not to speak
of your many accomplishments too soon or it may come off as bragging.
Draw others out and let them shine in the spotlight for a while. Draw
them into your spotlight!
If you are talking to a Dynamic Darla...
You will learn a LOT! Listen to her!! This lady is a doer, let her tell
you how she does it. She likes just the facts ma'am. Don't tell her a
long story, just give her the highlights. She likes to get the details
after she has heard the synopsis-if she is interested in the topic. She
usually doesn't like to make small talk or talk about fluff. She may
seem aloof because she doesn't usually engage in chit chat or idle
conversation, but she is usually surprisingly helpful. Stay on track
during the conversation and you will have made a good friend.
8. Negative Nellie always sees the problem in everything.
If you are a Negative Nelly...
You usually don't miss a thing. You are aware of the potential dangers
in things that others can't see and you aren't shy about pointing them
out! People learn things from you. You are also very negative and that
can be intimidating or frustrating for others. You tend to go overboard
and people begin to view you as complaining or perceive you as having a
bad attitude. Some take what you say as putting other's ideas down. If
you voice your opinions sparingly people would view what you say in a
more positive light and respect more of what you say. Put a smile on
your face, in your voice and a sunny side to your emails. People love
people who are positive and are drawn to people who make them feel
good.
If you are talking to a Negative Nelly...
Listen
to her criticisms. She usually has great insight about potential
problems you may encounter with your idea. She is a fabulous 'devil's
advocate'. Learn from her. Also don't take too much of what she says to
hard. This is just how she views the world. Just like a doctor might
see the health implications of everything he comes in contact with, a
Negative Nelly sees the potential problems with everything. It is just
her nature.
9.. Positive Polly sees the good in everything but she may be a little naive.
If you are a Positive Polly...
You are the one people enjoy spending time with. You are always making
others feel good about themselves. You are always enjoying life and
helping others and see the sunny side of every issue. And that can also
be annoying as heck! lol Sometimes you may seem a little insensitive to
the woes of another because you see the potential good when they cannot
being in the throws of despair. You can also miss potential problems
because you just cannot fathom how people could be so cruel or devious.
You are easy pray for hard luck cases that end up burning you. Before
you spend a large amount of time or money on something, consult your
friendly neighborhood Negative Nelly for advice!!
If you are talking to a Positive Polly...
You are usually so taken in by her graciousness that you end up feeling
wonderful about her, yourself and everyone around you. Problems usually
don't seem as tough when she is around. But be careful that you don't
fall into the trap. Remember that she doesn't usually see the potential
problems about getting involved with things. Not everyone has good
intentions. Not everything will turn out well in the end. That's why
God gave us discernment. Double check your facts. She usually doesn't
keep little things like that around. They can mess up your positive
attitude. lol
Remember that each person is unique and most
people are not a stereotype. Most people are a combination of two or
more. Still, these tips can help you identify someone's communication
personality traits so that you can communicate more easily with them.
Whether it is someone you work with, a family member or even one of
your own children, keeping these things in mind will help you better
relate to them. Keeping your own communication personality in mind can
help you avoid difficulties when talking to those of opposite
communication personalities.
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JoJo Tabares is a speaker, the author of several published articles on
communication skills, the resident communication expert at Homeschool
Talk Radio and the author of the Say What You Mean series of Christian
communication studies including a homeschooling series and Say What You
Mean When You're in Business. For more information on JoJo or the Say
What You Mean series, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com or call 1-866-4SPEECH.
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