I just recorded an audio for the Say What You Mean Convention this February with a homeschool graduate who is a nursing student. I asked her how important effective communication skills were to the medical profession (between doctors and nurses, patients and their caregivers). You'll have to wait until February 6th to hear her inspiring interview, but I will tell you that she said she was taught that communication skills are vital to the nursing profession.
The day before I taped the interview, I found this article which sadly illustrates this point. Here are some excerpts which explain:
"A vulnerable patient starved to death in an NHS hospital after 26 days without proper nourishment. Martin Ryan, 43, had suffered a stroke which left him unable to swallow.
But a 'total breakdown in communication' meant he was never fitted with a feeding tube. It was one of a number of horrific cases where the NHS fatally failed patients with learning difficulties..."
"Mr Ryan, who had Down's syndrome, died in hospital in Kingston-upon-Thames. An internal inquiry by the hospital found that doctors had thought nurses were feeding him through a tube in his nose. By the time they found out this was not happening, he was too weak for an operation to insert a tube into his stomach. He died in agony five days later. "
The article goes on to talk about the dangers and difficulties for those with disabilities which don't allow them to communicate with caregivers. Unfortunately, the caregivers are sometimes not diligent enough to discover these issues before it is too late.
If you have disabled relatives in the hospital (or going to a doctor visit) who cannot communicate well, please have a family member go along with them to be their voice and their advocate.
SIDE BAR: A few years ago, an AMA article reported that a significant number of Medical Malpractice cases were due to miscommunication and not to medical mistakes. They suggested effective communication training for doctors.
For more Tuesday Tips sent directly to your inbox each week, sign up for the Tuesday Tips eNewsletter!
From JoJo'sPurple Crayon Teaching communication skills the FUN way!
I receive an "On this Day in History" newsletter each day. It's fun to go back and read how certain things got their start.
On this day in history in 1838, Samuel Morse demonstrates his telegraph system for the first time in Morristown, New Jersey using Morse Code in which dots and dashes represent numbers and letters!
"The telegraph, a device which used electric impulses to transmit encoded messages over a wire, would eventually revolutionize long-distance communication, reaching the height of its popularity in the 1920s and 1930s."
In 1843, Congress funded the construction of the first U.S. telegraph line that stretched from Washington, D.C., to Baltimore and in1844, Morse sent the very first official telegram: "What hath God wrought!"
"Because telegraph companies typically charged by the word, telegrams became known for their succinct prose--whether they contained happy or sad news. The word "stop," which was free, was used in place of a period, for which there was a charge."
While Western Union introduced a creative and fun telegraph service called singing telegrams in 1933, Americans came to dread the sight of Western Union couriers during WWII because the military had been utilizing them in order to notify families when their loved ones had died.
"Over the course of the 20th century, telegraph messages were largely replaced by cheap long-distance phone service, faxes and email. Western Union delivered its final telegram in January 2006."
With each new tool invented for making communication faster and easier, we must still learn to use that tool effectively and we must remember that the communication tool does not guarantee communication success.
We must never confuse communication technology with communication effectiveness. The technology only affords the user the ability to reach more people in a shorter period of time. Each can only begin the process with the communication skills he possesses.
No matter in what form the communication may come, it has always been important that it be done effectively!
From JoJo'sPurple Crayon Teaching communication skills the FUN way!
Happy New Year! These are the last days of 2008. Seems like just yesterday that I started this blog, but it was February of 2006-almost three years ago! Time flies when you're following God's purpose for your life! Each year the Lord speaks to me asking me to take on a task or two. Three years ago it was this blog. Over the last three years I have posted tips, encouragement, articles, freebies and special offers that I pray have helped you learn (and teach your children) more effective communication.
I thought it'd be fun to go back and highlight some of the posts from 2008. Whether you are a recent Communication FUNdamentals blog reader or you have been with me for years, I think you will appreciate a second look at the posts the Lord inspired.
In January of 2008 I began a series of series. lol Every so often I felt the Lord leading me to write a series of tips or articles. Some have later turned up in Art of Eloquence studies or have become studies of their own. The first series of 2008 was one I called "How to Avoid an Argument" There were nine tips posted over nine weeks, but here are a few: Not every argument should be "won"and Avoid Attacking the Person; Focus on the Issue.
On April Fool's Day appropriately enough, I posted some statistics that reveal how we often are not communicating well even though we think we are: How Well Do We Communicate?
I also posted some real life miscommunication issues. These were every day situations in which the person didn't communicate well to me which caused frustration in my own life. One such situation was when I was called for Jury Duty!
Another Tuesday Tips Series I posted was called "A Day Without Communication is Like...IMPOSSIBLE!" This series covered the importance of communication in marriage, parenting, witnessing, learning skills, college prep, job interviews, career success, business ownership and friendship.
In July of 2008 I posted a very practical tip that reminded us all to remember that we are Posting to the World! A situation had come up in which I was excited to participate in an online event but I wasn't able to figure out from the post when I should attend. The poster forgot that she was posting to the world and didn't include the time zone. I never did listen in! :(
My next 2008 Tuesday Tips Series was called "Words Mean Things" where I went through some of the most misused words. The first few in the series was Natural and New and Literally!
I pray these articles and tips have helped you and your family communicate more effectively this year. I look forward to serving you again next year with a whole new series of tips and fun.
Please feel free to post your comments here and tell me what you liked about 2008's Tuesday Tips and what topics of effective communication you would like to see covered in 2009. It has been my distinct pleasure in serving you this year.
Happy New Year to you and your family! May it be a prosperous and more effective 2009!
First, I have to preface this with a little background as some of you may be wondering why I am posting this information again here on Tuesday Tips. It's a brief tale of Techie Woe. It all started...
while I was trying to post my 3rd Annual Merry CHRISTmas blog carnival yesterday. I got it looking all nice and pretty only to "Save Changes" and find that half of the carnival was MIA! Later on certain links went AWOL! I spent nearly 5 hours trying to fix it, but in the end, I decided to break up this year's Merry CHRISTmas Blog Carnival into two parts. It looked fabulous until I realized that one of the links (the one to my CHRISTmas gift to you all), morphed into a peculiar looking java script that went nowhere. I dared not fix it or risk Blog Post Melt Down!
Later on, while trying to create and send my newsletter, I had some new and improved Techie Troubles. I spent about two hours on that one and sent it out feeling like I had conquered the enemy! Aha! As my son would say, "Take that, Bad Guy!" Unfortunately, it had escaped my notice, that the very same link had taken a detour into...The Twighlight Zone!
I have started a completely new blogpost. I have ensured that at no time have I cut and pasted anything from anywhere so as to ensure fresh HTML script that has not had an opportunity to corrupt any other HTML anywhere anytime anyhow! I half expect this post to appear as a clown with his tongue sticking out when I hit "save"! But here goes!
There is nothing up my sleeve...
Drum Roll Please....
Merry CHRISTmas from Art of Eloquence!
Free CHRISTmas Gift from Art of Eloquence!
20 Piece Puzzle you can download and print out as many times as you like! It has a scripture (Luke 2:11) and a nativity scene that will help your family keep Christ in your CHRISTmas this year! You can download it here! This gift will only be available for a limited time so download it now while you can!
Are you a Twitterer? If you Twitter, you know how difficult it can be to Say What You Mean when you only have 140 characters in which to do it. For those not taking advantage of this exciting new social networking site, you may need to read that again! I didn't say 140 words. I said 140 CHARACTERS! Now you're gettin' it!
One hundred and forty characters may sound like a lot, but this is 140 characters:
Running today. I have a 10am phone meeting then I gotta get school done so we can have a picnic in the park with our new home school group.
After being a Twitterer for a few months now, I have become adept at getting my point across in 140 characters or less. One Twitterer commented on how effective I am at using all 140 characters as there are many times when my post is exactly 140 characters long! A few Twitterers, knowing that I teach communication skills, have asked me to write on the topic. So here are some...
Tips for Saying What You Mean in 140 Characters or Less!
There are several techniques I employ in effectively using my 140 characters on Twitter. Here are a few and the pros and cons of each one.
1. To Be Continued...
One of the techniques I see used on Twitter is the To Be Continued Method. If you just have too much to say, you can employ this technique but I would suggest you do it only if you are a fast typist! It is difficult to keep a reader's train of thought going if your post series is interrupted by other posts that have nothing to do with yours. This can be especially frustrating if too many posts are able to slip in between your part three and part four and again before part five or was that six?
The best way to use this technique is to type quickly so they are found one right after another and have a maximum of two posts. If you are taking too long to post part two, you can reference some of part one in your part two so readers can more easily put your Twitter Post Puzzle together.
2. I Don't Need No Stinkin' Spaces!
Nobody is grading this so some of the rules you learned in the dark ages for writing formal letters will have to be thrown out the window! If you only have enough characters left for one space between sentences, just put one. If you don't have room for ANY, well... You get the idea. Just make sure that if you don't use spaces, you DO use punctuation! Otherwise nobody will know where one sentence ends and the other begins.
I'd love to see that movie when it comes out I have my test on Friday
3. The Eboniks Post
That brings us to another rule breaker. The Texting Technique. If U R going 2 use shortcuts in order 2 cut dwn on the # of characters U use...U bttr make shur ppl will undrstd it...
B4 U ht snd, btr ck ovr 2 m sur U cnB undrsd R ppl w/B rly frtrtd tyg 2 fgr ot ? U js sd
4. Say No to Prepositions and Articles
In order to save precious characters, it's best to leave out certain prepositions, pronouns and articles that are not necessary to the understanding of the post. Just make sure you don't leave out so many words that your message is incomprehensible.
Not going to meeting today. Sick!
5. Link It!
If you have something to say that just cannot be done in 140 characters, you might want to post a link to a blog post that can get the job done more eloquently in, say 157 characters? LOL Take this article for example. If I would like to share these tips with my Twitter and other social networking friends, I can do so by posting a link to this blog post with just the subject line. In fact, if you have a very long URL for your post, you can go to TinyURL.com and create a short link for the very same blog post. Hey, want your URL to stand out too? You can ask TinyURL.com to make a custom URL like: tinyurl.com/TwitterTips
6. Just the Facts Ma'am Post
Anyone old enough to remember Dragnet? I loved Sargent Friday's line, "Just the facts, Ma'am." Remember that you don't necessarily need more words to Say What You Mean. You just need those words to be succint, effective and clear!
7. When all else fails, EMAIL!
Even the direct messages on Twitter are limited to 140 characters. As a result, it is sometimes MUCH more effective to send your email to the other party so that you can carry on the discussion or work out details in a much less restrictive environment.
Twitter is a great place to fellowship, network and share. It just takes a wee bit of adjusting to make the most of your 140 character posts!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer. Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula. You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com. For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication studies for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com
The economy is down and, it appears, we are we all just too broke to pay attention. In today's microwave society people are always looking for ways to save time...but are we actually spending more time because of miscommunication? You know that old phrase, "Do it right the first time and you won't have to spend time doing it again." I think our nanoseconds would be better spent if we heeded this time honored time saver!
I don't know about you, but I have had a tough time communicating lately. Folks are busy and they are trying to find short cuts for whatever they do. I can't count the number of times I have sent an email to someone and had them reply asking for the very information that was still included in the original email which was attached underneath their reply! Ever seen one of these?
From: Sally Sent: Monday, November 10, 2008 9:49 PM To: Mary Subject: Re: Coffee on Friday?
Hi Mary,
What day and time?
Love,
Sally
>From: Mary >Sent: Monday, November 10, 2008 9:47 PM >To: Sally >Subject: Coffee on Friday? > >Dear Sally, >How about coming over on Friday at 9am for some coffee? > >Love, >Mary
Not only did Sally take extra time to send a reply to Mary asking for the very information Mary already gave her, but she has communicated to Mary that her email wasn't worth her time to read properly in the first place. Additionally, it communicates to Mary that Sally doesn't think Mary's time is as valuable as hers. She is now requesting that Mary spend more of her time to answer a question she has already answered. Furthermore, it takes even more of Sally's time to have to read through another one of Mary's emails.
Ever hear your kids, with their face in the refrigerator, say something like this:
"Mom! Where's the milk?"
What ensues is a time wasting discussion about the fact that they have looked and you know it's in there. I usually end up going to the refrigerator and pointing directly in front of their nose which breaks the code illuminating the BIG WHITE PLASTIC CONTAINER.
"You have to look when you're looking!"
Why was it necessary to demystify the existence of the milk I often wonder? Is it invisible to children? Sometimes what they are looking for isn't right in front of their nose but just behind the milk. It never occurs to them to move the milk to look behind it. Oh no! That would take far too many nanoseconds! What results is a twenty minute "discussion" where they yell up from downstairs and you yell down from upstairs each arguing the merits of his case until you decide it would take far less time to run downstairs and point out the almost empty glass of chocolate milk!
Life's busy in the 21st Century, but if we all take just a few moments to really read or listen to the other party, we might actually save ourselves a great deal of time and frustration. Read those emails carefully before you reply. Actively listen to the speaker before you respond. Move that milk carton just a smidge! You just might answer your own question...before you spend endless nanoseconds to ask it!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer. Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula. You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com. For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication studies for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com
If you are going to be a guest for Thanksgiving, it is important to be aware that the work load for the host is enormous. The larger the crowd and the more creative the host, the more set up and clean up is involved. Take some of the stress off the host this Thanksgiving. Here's how:
1. Offer to help the host with the cooking or preparation ahead of time if at all possible.
Thanksgiving was always my Mom's holiday. It's her favorite time of year and she goes to extreme limits to make the event a memorable one for her guests. For the first time in years, I am local to her and can be of some assistance. She is the perfect hostess and leaves no detail left to chance. It is my great pleasure to help her in any way that I can now that I am living so close!
2. Arrive no earlier than the time the host has announced.
...and barring any unforeseen traveling issues, within no more than about 15 or 20 minutes after the time. The host has gone to much trouble to prepare and may be busy preparing right up until the time she has set for guests to arrive. Don't put any more added stress on her by showing up an hour earlier than scheduled, especially if you haven't yet had lunch!
3. Bring a little gift for the host if you can.
To show your appreciation you can bring the host a little gift or a side dish or a dessert with you. If you are traveling a distance, bringing a dish might not be practical. A little inexpensive gift for the host can show your appreciation.
4. Plan to stay no later than the host had planned for the event.
If you are traveling a far distance, the host may have invited you to stay the night, but if you live close by, it is impolite to overstay your welcome. The host may be quite tired from her busy day and need her down time.
5. Offer to help set up for dinner and to clean up afterward.
One of my fondest memories of Thanksgiving is helping my mom clean up after Thanksgiving dinner! It's a time where we get to reflect on the day and take time to share more with the ladies of the family. I know it's a big help to my mom who has spent the prior two to three weeks in preparation for this momentous and memorable event!
6. Make sure you call or write afterward.
It can be very easy to say thank you while you are at Thanksgiving Dinner, but it shows true appreciation if you take the time afterward to call or write and express that after the event. Think about your host and how tired she might be from putting on an event of this magnitude even two or three days after Thanksgiving.
Happy Thanksgiving!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer. Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula. You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com. For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication studies for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com
The other day I blogged about thelatest trend for pre-teens where they sit around a birthday party texting each other! How sad that technology gets in the way of face-to-face communication which is rich in content and complexity in favor of a more restrictive, impersonal and limited form of communication fraught with miscommunication.
Don't get me wrong. Technology is a wonderful thing. It allows us to reach across the world and share, fellowship, encourage and learn. It affords us the opportunity to reach more people with the causes the Lord put in our hearts. But technology has become a stumbling block for true communication. It has eroded our skills and has become a nuisanse.
How many times have you heard a cell phone go off in church interrupting the service? How many times have you heard someone strike up a conversation only to turn and find he was talking to an individual yet unseen? How many times have you tried to have a conversation with a teenager who can't put two words together articulately? How many times have you received an email you can make neither heads nor tails of?
I noticed this trend several years ago when I wrote...
Communication Technology Doesn't Replace Communication Skill
My generation has gone from ABC, NBC and CBS to Cable TV, CDroms and DVDs. We have lived through the biggest technological advancements in history. We can now communicate with people around the world through cell phones, email, voicemail, videomail ...and we can see political events unfolding as they happen! The internet wasn't fast enough for us so we now have DSL and Cable that are 50x faster than the modems of two years ago! Computers weren't portable enough so we now have laptops and PDAs. The technological world is obsessed with making communication technology faster, smaller and more powerful.
With so many ways to communicate, we are the most connected society that ever lived! So...what's the name of your neighbor who lives three houses down from you? When was the last time you sat around the dinner table and had a good, old-fashioned conversation? How often do you feel ill-prepared to discuss important issues with your children? Is there a family member or business associate you are avoiding because you don't know how to handle a delicate situation? How many times have you felt ineffective in getting your point across to others?
Did you know that 87% of what you do all day is communication related? Or that only 43% of people surveyed said they are effective communicators? Effective communication is a dying art. Know how I know? Call any company and see how fast you can reach a live body. When you get one, how often are you frustrated with the customer service you receive?
Here are a few statistics you might want to consider:
Companies with the highest levels of effective communication experienced a 26% total return to shareholders from 1998-2002, compared to a -15% return experienced by firms that communicate least effectively according to a study done in 2004. Read More
The Lord shares with us in His Word about how vital communication skills are literally HUNDREDS of times! He cautions us about the power of the tongue and to keep the door of our mouth, but He also shares why and how we SHOULD communicate.
"Let your conversation always be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." Colossians 4:6
"But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:" 1Peter 3:15
"From the fruit of his mouth a man's stomach is filled; with the harvest from his lips he is satisfied." Proverbs 18:20
"He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend." Proverbs 22:11
" A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver." Proverbs 25:11
"Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." Proverbs 16:24
"The lips of the righteous nourish many, but fools die for lack of judgment." Proverbs 10:21
"-So is my word that goes out from my mouth: it will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." Isaiah 55:11
It isn't just that we should keep from speaking evil; we should use the power of the tongue God gave us for good things of the Lord. We cannot be effective in doing this if we allow our skills to wither and die for lack of use. We need to train up our children in the way they should speak so that when they grow up they will not depart from sharing the truth in a respectful and articulate way.
If you want to train your children up in the way they should speak, you can do it with creativity and humor! Visit Art of Eloquence today! Don't forget to check out all our free resources and events too!
When circumstances finally presented themselves for us to be able to move out of California, we found that my parents were already in escrow with an investment property. What a blessing to be able to be near them and for them have a built in rental income! The only challenge has been the militant Home Owner's Association with a passion for rules and a serious lack of logic and grace.
Without rules a society would drift aimlessly into chaos. But without logic and grace, rules drift steadily into organized chaos that is all but impossible to communicate through. How do you balance the two? When does logic dictate that it is in everyone's best interest to bend the rules? How can you navigate through bureaucracy's mine field? And when it is best just to surrender yourself to the idiocy of rules for rule's sake in order to save your sanity? Let's look at a one case study:
The association that governs the neighborhood where we live reported that our house was in violation. Why? Because they found that the trim, which was supposed to be painted one of only two very particular colors, didn't match the paint chip exactly. Several years ago, before the house was even purchased, it had been repainted an ever so slightly different color. The penalty? Repaint the trim before the end of the year or face a stiff fine.
The Home Owner's Association (HOA) has a procedure in place for those wishing to appeal an HOA ruling. First you must write a letter explaining the issue and requesting a hearing. Next you must be willing to attend a series of hearings to present your side of the issue. Lastly, you are told that the HOA never grants ANY appeal on the grounds that if they did it for one, they'd have to do it for all. If you have nothing to do on any given series of Monday nights, this might be an interesting exercise; however, if you want to get anything done, it's an exercise in futility.
The logical arguments that the present owner, nor the bank before them, nor the previous owner (who was the one who repainted the house), had any complaints filed against them for the egregious crime of painting the house trim a shade "pinker" than the chip indicates didn't sway the committee. The decision was made, the painters were hired and the paint was purchased. They were told exactly what company to buy the paint from, what two colors they could use AND the exact paint code (mixture) the paint should be.
They were told they had to submit in writing a request to comply with the HOA's demand to repaint the house trim. In effect, they had to ask permission to repaint the trim the exact color the HOA demanded they paint it. They did so, however final "authorization" wasn't received and so more phone calls were made as time was running out to get this done before their deadline.
When word finally came, they found that they were partially denied! They were told they cannot paint the house one of the two colors they were originally told they could. You see, several months back the HOA changed the color palette on the neighborhood. New rules were put in place which said that you may repaint the entire house only if you do so in the new colors. You may only repaint part of the house if you paint it the exact color that was already on the house at the time. Well, that couldn't be done since that was the entire reason the house was found to be in violation!
After some amount of logical discussion and rules recitation, they agreed to allow my folks to repaint the trim the color they deemed was the color it was intended to be which was one of the two original colors they told us to paint the trim. My folks agreed, but were a bit skeptical about their ability to please the HOA.
About the time they were ready to paint, my folks realized that it was possible for them to pay for repainting and have the trim still not match the paint chip exactly. Being sticklers for the exact, my folks asked the HOA if they would come down to sign off on the paint before it was used. NOPE! They asked if they could bring the paint to the HOA to have them sign off on the paint before the work was done. NOPE! They don't "do that".
After painting half of two test areas of trim, we found that the paint they required them to purchase was EXACTLY the same color as what was already there! The painter told us that the color does tend to change when you use it on different materials such as the one used for paint chips. Now the decision had to be made. Do they spend $800 to repaint the trim the EXACT color the HOA said was NOT the right color?
After some persuasion, two representatives from the HOA came out to view the paint, the house and the fact that the color matched EXACTLY the color they required it be painted. Neither one of the representatives would admit that the color was the same. They had some difficulty coming up with a procedure that would resolve the matter. Finally we were told that they would take the information back to the committee and they would have to decide what to do. Meanwhile, my folks were required to pay the painter for his paint and his time spent.
Several days went by with no word from the HOA. My father called but was always told the rep was out of the office. Finally the representative got annoyed with him and told him he would have to wait as he had other more pressing matters. However the fine, wouldn't wait.
Yesterday evening, my parents went to the committee meeting with the paint in hand. They were allowed to present their explanation that the paint chip was simply not a good representation of the color and a mistake had been made. They asked the HOA to rescind the violation and remove the fine. What ensued was unfathomable!
First the secretary taking the meeting notes told them they had to repaint the house because they had agreed to repaint. Pointing out that it was ridiculous to spend $800 to repaint the trim the exact color the HOA DIDN'T want did make some headway this time. Next they were told that it is possible that the company didn't mix the paint correctly. My father asked them if they thought it probable that the paint that wasn't mixed well would come out to be the EXACT color that was already on the trim. They were unmoved. He suggested the committee buy their own paint and see if it was the same color as the house, however, they were unwilling to spend their own money on such a task.
Finally they were told that the committee could not grant this request to release the violation until they saw the paint on the house for themselves. So...a representative will be over to the house to paint part of the trim and see with their own eyes if the paint matches exactly.
The saying "Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely" comes to mind. It appears to me that the HOA is more interested in the rules for power sake. For if they were interested in expedience or justice, they would be willing to admit when they were wrong and remove the violation. Not only does this waste my parent's time but it wastes the HOA's time.
Raise your hand if you think this is over.
The moral of the story?
It is sometimes more important and logical to give grace than to stick to the rules.
* The more you stick to the rules, the more important it becomes to justify your initial finding.
* The more important it becomes to justify your initial finding, the more difficult it is to communicate your way to a resolution.
Part of the duties of the President of the United States is to communicate with the American people, world leaders and our troops. In honor of the elections, I thought it'd be fun to share the ways in which that communication has changed throughout history.
* When George Washington took office, he traveled 2000 miles on horseback and horse drawn carriage to speak directly to the people of our new nation.
* During the Civil War, Abraham Lincoln walked across the lawn of the White House to the War Building where the telegraph was installed to communicate with the war generals.
* Rutherford B. Hayes was the first president to speak on the telephone with the inventor, Alexander Graham Bell. Two years later he had his own telephone installed in the White House. The technology was so new that there were precious few he could talk to. In fact, his telephone number was "1".
* Howard Taft and William Jennings Bryan had recordings made of their speeches that could be purchased and played at churches in areas they couldn't reach by train. The records would come with a picture of the candidates so voters would know what they looked like.
* Calvin Coolidge made the first presidential radio broadcast from the White House.
* Franklin Roosevelt held regular "Fireside Chats" on the radio where he spoke directly to the American people in their homes.
* Harry S. Truman was the first president to appear on television from the White House.
* John F. Kennedy was the first president to use the power of television. The White House was frequently featured as was Mrs. Kennedy and the children.
* Ronald Reagan (The Great Communicator) was the first president to fully understand the power of communication technology. He said, "How can a president not be an actor?"
One of the most famous Biblical quotes talks to the children and tells them to "Honor your father and your mother" but one of my favorite scriptures speaks to fathers.
"And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." -Ephesians 6:4
A criticism I hear often from teens is that their parents wield all the power. They don't feel their parents listen to them or explain to them why they make the decisions they do. They don't feel like their parents understand them and they don't understand their parents.
God gave each child to their specific parents and the Lord intends for those parents to be in charge. He tells the children that they are to be respectful and listen and obey their parents. However, the Father also tells us parents to be gentle with our children, to speak to them in love and nurture them with the truth tempered by grace as the Lord does with us, His children.
If we speak in grace and with respect to our children, we honor our Father in Heaven. When we share with our children why we don't want them to go out, we model the respect we are to have for the Father.
We are to be firm in the truth and unyielding in moral character but we should do so in a gentle and loving way just as our Father in Heaven gives grace to us.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer. Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula. You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com. For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication studies for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com
Day 11 in my series "21 Days to More Godly Communication" focuses on flattery. I found at least 30 scriptures that warn us about flattery. This is one of them:
"With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him." -Proverbs 7:21
Sometimes a kind word has an ulterior motive that will lead us somewhere God doesn't want us to go. It can be a distraction or a lure. Flattery may be used as bait to entice us toward sin or away from the work the Lord has for us. Let's look at this verse a bit closer.
First we notice that we can tell a person is using flattery and not just a kind word or complement because she has "much fair speech". One of the ways we can discern flattery is the sheer amount of sappy, drippy, gushy words. A few days ago, I spoke about Eddie Haskell, the character from Leave it to Beaver. His speech was always dripping with honey so that you often wondered about his motives even when he was just being kind.
Next we see that the flatterer "caused him to yield". Flattery so dripping with honey that causes you to stop what you are doing or where you are going is of concern-especially if where you were going is directed by the Lord. I don't mean the kind word that causes you to stop and engage in a conversation with someone, but rather a series of flattering words that cause you to put your life's mission on hold or change direction in your work. If this change leads you away from where the Lord is leading you, it is a distraction that is not of the Lord.
Lastly we see that flattery can be so powerful as to actually "force" us away from God's path for us. How can words be strong enough to deter us in our mission? Words are powerful things! How strong can words be? God spoke the world into existence. It isn't called the Word of God for nothing. The words contained in the Bible are powerful for us to comprehend and apply to our Christian life.
How strong can words be? You will remember that it only took words from the serpent to cause Eve to sin. Words caused Eve to convince Adam to sin. Words are what enabled Hitler to gain power and words are what it took to convince others to follow him once he got there. Words were all it took for Jim Jones to convince 900 People's Temple members to take their own lives at Jonestown.
Carefully chosen words are a powerful tool that can be used for good or for evil. The Lord warns us here and in several other passages that we are to beware of those who flatter us for it is tempting to lead where they follow. And where they lead may not be where the Lord would have us go.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer. Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula. You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com. For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication studies for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com
The Lord instructs us on the power of the tongue hundreds of times in His Word. Yesterday I talked about how our tongues can be used to bless people, but our tongues may also be used for evil. Day 4 of my "21 Days to More Godly Communication" comes from Psalms.
"Keep yourtongue from evil And your lips from speaking deceit." -Psalm34:13
Our words are almost real things. They can be used to bless or to curse. Speaking evil can hurt someone even more than physical harm. As a kid, you probably heard the phrase, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." Well, I'm here to shatter that illusion.
Words can be used as a sword to cut the soul of a person. You can almost mortally wound a person with your tongue. With your lips you may destroy a person's reputation or his spirit. That's because words are almost living breathing things that, once spoken, have a life of their own.
Martha has it in for Johnny. Once Martha tells Mildred that Johnny is no good, it's in her mind, coloring her perceptions and often outweighing any good Johnny may do in Mildred's eyes.
Furthermore, once Mildred believes Johnny is no good, she's more likely to tell Mabel. Now Mabel's view of Johnny is tarnished. Mabel is much more likely to tell her friends and so on and so on until along comes Mary who is trying to make up her mind objectively about Johnny. She thinks to herself, "He seems nice to me, but I've only known him a short time! Mildred, Mabel and their friends have known Johnny a very long time. If so many people apparently have a problem with him, I guess Johnny really is no good."
While Martha may have knowingly lied about Johnny, Mildred and the others may have been unwittingly speaking deceit against Johnny. Sometimes keeping our tongues from evil and our mouths from speaking deceit is a simply a matter of doing what's right. Sometimes it's more a matter of discernment. Either way, if we strive to live by Psalm 34:13, we will be more likely to fulfill it.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
JoJo Tabares holds a degree in Speech Communication, but it is her humorous approach to communication skills which has made her a highly sought-after Christian speaker and writer. Her articles appear in homeschool publications, such as Homeschool Enrichment Magazine and The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, which also endorses her Say What You Mean curricula. You can also find JoJo on web sites such as Crosswalk.com and Dr.Laura.com. For more information on communication FUNdamentals and Christian-based communication studies for the whole family, please visit http://www.ArtofEloquence.com
Art of Eloquence has just posted the second in the series of communication audios that are available for a limited time. This one is on Communication Skills and Friendships! It's from my newest eBook, A Day Without Communication is Like...IMPOSSIBLE but it's been expanded to include even MORE TIPS and resources!
It's available for download but only for 10 days so don't put it off! It's under 18 minutes but it's POWERFUL for anyone wishing to make and maintain better friendships! Don't miss out!
From JoJo'sPurple Crayon...
Where's FIMM? Did you find himm this week? Where's FIMM? Come find the only Foot in Mouth Man picture that is different from all the rest. Email what he looks like and where you found himm to fimm@artofeloquence.com and you could win a free Art of Eloquence eProduct of your choice!
Art of Eloquence is going to be 6 years old in November!
To celebrate we are having an online party and YOU'RE INVITED!
In addition, we are giving away 6 prize packages worth over $200 each during our Annual Online Birthday Bash show on Grace Talk Soup! Mark your calendar for all the fun!
YOU'RE INVITED!
What: Birthday Bash Celebration Where: Grace Talk Soup! When: November 6th from 8am-11am PST
Admission: FREE! Events: Three hours of seminars, workshops and contests where you could win prizes!
* Seminar: What's Learning Skills got to do with Communication anyway?
* Where's FIMM Scavenger Hunt
* Name That Sound Contest for the kids!
* Email Communication Workshop
* Finale and announcement of our 6 Birthday Bash Prize Package Winners!
For more information on how to enter and what you could win, check the Art of Eloquence website on October 1st!
From JoJo'sPurple Crayon...
Where's FIMM? Did you find himm this week? Where's FIMM? Come find the only Foot in Mouth Man picture that is different from all the rest. Email what he looks like and where you found himm to fimm@artofeloquence.com and you could win a free Art of Eloquence eProduct of your choice!
I posted this last week for Tuesday Tips. Did you and your kidlings get the right answers?
Some of the most common words are misused. Can you guess which words are misused here? I'll post the answers in a few days to give everyone a chance to vote.
1. I will except your proposal of marriage.
(Should be accept)
2. I am going to canvass the area for opinions.
(Correct)
3. Your statement didn't effect me.
(Should be affect)
4. The pizza is more then I can eat.
(Should be than)
5. They're is too much salt in there soup.
(Should be There is too much salt in their soup)
6. I love ice cream. It makes a delicious dessert.
(Correct)
7. I have two go too the store.
(Should be I have to go to the store.)
8. Do you mean to infer that I am not worthy?
(Should be imply. Infer is what we do when we hear something.)
9. It is not my roll to be her friend. I'm her professor!
(Should be role.)
10. It was shear agony!
(Should be sheer)
How'd you do?
From JoJo'sPurple Crayon...
Where's FIMM? Did you find himm this week? Where's FIMM? Come find the only Foot in Mouth Man picture that is different from all the rest. Email what he looks like and where you found himm to fimm@artofeloquence.com and you could win a free Art of Eloquence eProduct of your choice!
Some of the most common words are misused. Can you guess which words are misused here? I'll post the answers in a few days to give everyone a chance to vote.
1. I will except your proposal of marriage.
2. I am going to canvass the area for opinions.
3. Your statement didn't effect me.
4. The pizza is more then I can eat.
5. They're is too much salt in there soup.
6. I love ice cream. It makes a delicious dessert.
7. I have two go too the store.
8. Do you mean to infer that I am not worthy?
9. It is not my roll to be her friend. I'm her professor!
10. It was shear agony!
From JoJo'sPurple Crayon...
Where's FIMM? Did you find himm this week? Where's FIMM? Come find the only Foot in Mouth Man picture that is different from all the rest. Email what he looks like and where you found himm to fimm@artofeloquence.com and you could win a free Art of Eloquence eProduct of your choice!
In recent years, the meanings of certain words have been changed so much as to be almost unrecognizable! So many words have been changed that we have come to the point where words don't really mean anything anymore. Continuing with my series, "Words Mean Things", this week's word is...tolerance.
Merriam Webster defines tolerance as "a) sympathy or indulgence for beliefs or practices differing from or conflicting with one's own b) the act of allowing something: toleration"
If you are a tolerant person, you allow others to voice a different opinion. You have sympathy for or indulge others and "tolerate" their point of view even if it opposes your own. In my day it was called being polite.
It is also a starting point for discussion where you might conceivably persuade others of your views (or you of theirs however it works out). Polite discussion is the civilized way and really the ONLY way to persuade. Very few people are persuaded to rethink their position if they are shut down from voicing theirs. Almost nobody is willing to listen to someone who is yelling at them to keep them from having their say.
However, polite discussion where both parties "tolerate" the others' point of view is the beginning of agreement...a meeting of the minds. That's how my generation was brought up. That's how things got done and problems were solved. You talked things out and worked things out. Not so much of the time these days.
Of late, tolerance means something altogether different. Tolerance is something that means one thing to those who run in my circles but means quite another to those who stand outside that circle. Tolerance is a word only for the "other guy". Not for me! If Jane won't back down because she doesn't see things my way, she's INTOLERANT. If John won't agree that I'm right, he's INTOLERANT. But if I disagree with someone I have "Freedom of Speech"!
And not only have we changed the meaning of the word we have extended its grasp! Tolerance is where you have to let me voice my opinion in whatever way I like including a way that is viewed disrespectful. In fact, you are not allowed to be offended by my disrespect. After all, this is America. I have freedom of speech and you have to be tolerant!
From JoJo'sPurple Crayon...
Where's FIMM? Did you find himm this week? Where's FIMM? Come find the only Foot in Mouth Man picture that is different from all the rest. Email what he looks like and where you found himm to fimm@artofeloquence.com and you could win a free Art of Eloquence eProduct of your choice!
In recent years, the meanings of certain words have been changed so as to be almost unrecognizable! So many words have been changed that we have come to the point where words don't really mean anything anymore. Continuing with my series, "Words Mean Things", this week's word is...Literally.
Merriam-Webster.com defines it as "in a literal sense or manner; actually". There are literally a few different ways in which the word literally can be misused.
"And Mansell comes into the pits, he's quiteliterally sweating his eyeballs out." - TV Sports Caster
Really?! This misuse of the word literally has made me so mad I literally explode!
"Elmo is one french fry short of a Happy Meal. Literally!!" -Uncle Ernie's second cousin twice removed
This literally is used purely for emphasis. REALLY!
"The earthquake, which registered an 8.9 on the Richter Scale, literally shook the house!"-Some rookie reporter into her 7th hour of live round the clock coverage!
You don't say?
My advice is to literally avoid using the word altogether. Whether it's misused, overused or confused, it's an emphasis we can literally do without. Literally!
From JoJo'sPurple Crayon...
Where's FIMM? Did you find himm this week? Where's FIMM? Come find the only Foot in Mouth Man picture that is different from all the rest. Email what he looks like and where you found himm to fimm@artofeloquence.com and you could win a free Art of Eloquence eProduct of your choice!
I was raised by two Atheists of Jewish heritage, married a non practicing Catholic and became a non denominational Christian due, in part, to some Amway meetings and a Jehovah's Witness who came to my door. My purple crayon writes with humor and almost always a little out of the lines.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This blog is my creative and fun way of sharing my thoughts on communication skills relating mostly to homeschooling and sharing and defending the faith. It also reveals a bit about how the Lord took this shy Agnostic girl and allowed her to find her voice and her purpose, a zany voice to the Christian community with insight as to what unbelievers need to hear about Christ Jesus.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'll share news items, quotes, family friendly humor, tips, trivia, and my newest feature: Question of the Week. I invite you to come share your thoughts!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For more creative fun with JoJo you can visit www.ArtofEloquence.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver." -Proverbs 25:11
Teaching communication skills the 
