Thank you all so much for your amazing responses to my questions. While many of you had varying opinions, I found great advice in each one of your comments. I feel so blessed to have HSB, a place where I can get council from so many Godly ladies!

  When I get uneasiness about something, I will pray, read the word, and seek council  until I have peace. This morning, after a few days of reading all your comments, talking and praying with my husband, and reading the word, I have come to a conclusion.

  I want to parent my children with God's love, not fear. I really needed to check WHY I want to avoid placing my children in the world, was it fear? Was I lacking faith that God would protect them? Am I "gasp" Legalistic?

 A few of the verses God gave me:

Young people who obey the law are wise: those who seek out worthless companions bring shame to their parents Proverbs 28:7

Try to find out what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, rebuke and expose them. It is shameful  even to talk about the things ungodly people do in secret. Ephesians 5: 10-12

If I am to parent my children according to the word, should I allow them to be with friends who say dating is OK at 12? Pastors who talk  to 6 year old boys about controlling their sexual impulses? Kids who push the boundaries of foul language?

 NO!

That is not fear or legalism, that is WISDOM. That is parenting with God's word. Just because it is getting harder to find churches that don't look like the world, doesn't mean it's OK to throw biblical truths out the window for the sake of evangelism.

I look at the fruit of the children going through these youth programs and I am saddened. Even the pastors children do not come out unscathed. Don't I want more for my children? Is it wrong of me to trust God for more?

What about evangelising. Shouldn't my kids be out there in children's church shining their light? Isn't that what Christ did? Unfortunately I see it snuffing all the light out. Children are not fully equipped with a "spiritual backpack" at 4,6 ,8 and 10. Even our savior did not start evangelising until he was 30!

In conclusion; I believe that Children's Church IS hurting my children. The worse the world gets, the more different I may seem, but that doesn't change God's word. I think those of us who think we can immerse ourselves in the world and not get tainted are fooling themselves. I don't want to put my children in the position where they are constantly having one foot teetering at the boundary of sin. It's confusing, and not fair to them. 

My husband and I have decided to gradually pull our children out of children's church. In fact, we are looking to switch to a church with like-minded families. We have enough battles to fight in every day life, wouldn't it be nice to have a church that lifts you up rather than tear you down? I know that I would be much better equipped to evangelize in that state. Living for the Lord according to his word is not legalistic, it's beautiful. As long as I parent my children with his word, his love and his grace, they won't miss the world, and one day, when they are forced to be a part of it, they will know where the "good stuff" really is!  

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Jan. 24, 2007 - hi :)

Posted by amada

Hey there, I can't remember where I saw you... over at SeeknJesusnRaisingKids, maybe?...

Anyway, I feel your pain. This is an extremely hard decision! I support your conclusion.

Anyway, I enjoyed reading some of your entries, and thought we could maybe be friends! ;) Come visit me sometime.

Amy

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Jan. 24, 2007 - Well said...

Posted by youngmommy

I couldn't agree with you more! Now comes the hard part... Your kids may resist, at first, but stand firm and know that you ARE doing the right thing!!
Blessings,
Christine

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Jan. 24, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Fringey

All the way you have sorted this out is so encouraging..I will be praying for you and yours...there are churches out there that support the word of God and not itchy ears...I know He will lead you .

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Jan. 24, 2007 - Be Wise!

Posted by EEEEMommy

Yes! Be wise, be very wise. Trust God's Word and He will lead you to do what is best for the kids that He has entrusted to you! I pray that you WOULD find a church which is more supportive of your family and a better fit for all of you! It IS a shame that they are becoming so few and far between.

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Jan. 24, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by nsremom

all I can say to your brilliant post is


AMEN.

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Jan. 24, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by SeekingJESUSnTeachingKIDS

I agree with all that you said and am praying that you and your husband are able to find a church that works for your family and is clearly seeking holiness for their lives. When Jesus was seeking the lost He didn't use a gimmick or smooth words he spoke the truth in love and that's what we ("the church") should be doing. It says that the "Word of God is sharper than any two edged sword....
I agree with keeping your kids close. Mine do go to Sunday school, but I know those in charge really well and they are all young still, so hopefully we will not be encountering these same issues. Great job you and your husband are doing as parents, seeking God in EVERY area of your life: )
:>Michelle

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Jan. 24, 2007 - Been there, doing that.....

Posted by AHappyHome

I so understand what you guys are going through. I think the last straw for us was when we watched photos of the children's church program hosting cricket spitting contests! EWWWWW! We explained our reasons to the children and truthfully it has been just fine. It definitely raised questions about "why" we were doing this, and we shared our reasons and concerns with the church elders/pastors. Since then, the Sunday school teacher has backed off of bugging me, and we frequently get comments of how well behaved in church our children are. Because they are so young, we do let them have a snack during service and also bring clipboards with things to color/do. It has worked out well for the most part, and recently we have taken notice that other families are beginning to keep THEIR children in service as well. I would encourage you not to be in a hurry to change churches, but to follow the advice of the gentleman regarding speaking to the elders. No church is going to meet every need. And, if your witness starts a new flow of families keeping their children with them in service, wouldn't that be a cool deal? I agree with the others that the WORD should be the reason for the decisions we make, and that we should freely share those biblical reasons with our children.

BTW, isn't it sort of "coincidental" that families across the country are beginning to question these things? Hmmm......do ya think God is up to something?

Following His lead (or trying to!),

Keri

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Jan. 25, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by grace4gayle

Great decision! I have to admit to making some compromises where kid's church is concerned. I want them to be with the few good friends they have in there, but I'm so disturbed by some of the stuff they pick up; boy/girl ideas, coolness by having STUFF, bad fashion examples. It hasn't become a big issue yet, but I can see it happening soon. Let me know how the transition goes.

Gayle

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Jan. 25, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by callmekate

I fully support your decision. There was so much more I wanted to write in my comment and I was so fearful offending you! We have been uneasy about youth groups for some time and already knew it wasn't where we wanted our kids. What I'd love is for all the families on this blog to be able to form a church of our own, with families worshiping together as one and encouraging each other the way God intended. Living the different path is hard but worth it. I prayed for you and your husband and I hope things go well, as you gradually make the changes. I pray that God will continue to guide you. Thank you for sharing your situation with us, it is an encouragement to many, I am certain!

Kate

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Jan. 25, 2007 - Clap, Clap, Clap

Posted by TeachingDad

Way to go - we have had the same struggles. With only one son we still found that "Sunday School" was the place that he received the most hurt. It's tough to do, but is must be done once you are aware of what an impact other children are having. I'm sure that you have found this vs but it is one of my favorites regarding parenting - 1 Cor 15:33 - don't be deceived, bad company corrupts good morals. We have to teach our children to carefully choose there friends, even in church. I learned that as an adult.

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Jan. 25, 2007 - No More Children's Church

Posted by FruitfulFamily

I think you made the best decision. I don't think I said this before, but we just switched churches for the same reason: we were wierd compared to the rest of the church. I was asked by the Pastor's wife to speak to mothers (I was the 4th choice--LOL). The question arose about dating and I said the the Bible gave no real provision for dating. Why did I say that? I was told that you needed to know your child. I thought to myself, not to challenge her authority, that we need to know the world. Especially since abortion, unwed pregnancy and the cover-ups to it happened frequently in that church (including the Pastor's children). We have since started to go to another church. At our old church, my children were not allowed to go to children's church for many reasons. We allow them to go to children's church now. But 2 Sunday's ago my now 5 year old got home and said he was afraid of the bathroom at the church. As much as he likes it, this might be the end of the children's church agin for us. We have a friend who goes to a type of church (Home church?) They worship as a family. Church is short, and they give like family studies to tie in with the sermon to go over at home. I like that! I pray that the Lord will lead you exactly where He'd have you to be!!!!!!

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Jan. 31, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Anonymous

Hi! I attend a family integrated church , and find it a real blessing. I was so disheartened at the modern day type Baptist church. If you have any questions, feel free to stop by my blog.
In Him,
Christine
www.christine-mary.blogspot.com

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