I read an interesting article in World magazine today. It was about how the War on Terror is harder to fight because of our American culture and it's lack of morals. Now usually, if anyone has something negative to say about the good ol' USA I get pretty defensive, but this time, I completely agree.

  How can we go over to another country and say, "We will rescue you, and make you more like us", when all they see is a country that massacres their babies in utero, supports homosexual marriage, materialism, and the exploitation of women (we might not wrap our women in black garbs and keep them from voting, but we do strip them naked and place them on newsstands). They see our freedoms, as freedoms to sin. Does that make for a better country?

  They see our Godlessness,  our materialism, our fat bodies and our frivolous purchases. They see a country who has placed the bottom line above humanity.

  Are they right? Yes and No. Their opinion is formed by our media, and that is not  the reality of many Americans, yet as the Liberals agenda's get pushed further and further, our Country is looking more and more like Sodom.

 How about our Freedoms? I do think to a degree that our true freedoms are being taken away (like our right to life) while we are permitted more  freedoms to sin (like homosexual marriage, abortions, criminal rights, etc).

 How about our commerce? More and more big businesses are taking over our country. These companies are tearing apart our middle class and becoming such "mega powers" that are often "above  the law". They have in a way, become their own mini dictators, bowing only to the bottom line, and I'm NOT just talking about Walmart.

 I support our President, I support the war. I support America, but I think it's citizens are killing everything it stands for.  I could go write for hours about the beautiful things America is, but that doesn't change the fact that sin and corruption is threatening those beauties more and more each day. Still, America IS the best country in the world, but...... for how much longer?

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I guess Al Gore isn't nearly as nuts as I thought he was. Finally, real proof! Wait 'till he gets his hands on this!

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 I just read a fantastic entry over at my dear friend nsremom's blog. Go check it out first, then you can come back and read the thoughts it evoked in me. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/nsremom/ 

 So first off, I'd like to nod in agreement to her stance on Amy Grant, however her debut album, with all of it's 80's synthesizer splendor still runs threw my head on a semi regular basis so it must have some amazing staying power. "Sing your praise to the Lord, come on everybody, get up and sing one more hallelujah". See now it's in your head too! Ha... you all can suffer with me!

 Now, back to the brilliance of nsremom's post. First a confession. A friend of mine who just started homeschooling this year came to me and asked how homeschool was going. I shared all the highlights. our successful study on taxonomy, my children's accelerated math accomplishments. All true, but I left out my inner turmoil. My doubts that I was doing enough. My thoughts that my kids just might need the "school" experience after all. She however instantly went in to her feelings of inadequacy. How she felt like a failure. I however, kept quiet... not in the mood to be vulnerable.

 Tonight my thoughts continued to plague me. "Boy, I bet if my kids were in school I could finally get my body back into shape. I could work out every day, and my kids would come home to a happy mother, a clean house, and healthy snacks. Think of all the things I could do WITHOUT my children.

 Then my oldest came up to me and told me she wanted to be with her peers, and could she PLEASE go to school. Honestly, I felt quite tempted to forget what the Lord had told me and send them all to school. I could easily focus on my physical appearance and exercise instead of quiet time. Oh, and it would be so nice to have a job and get to interact with other adults...........

  About 30 minutes ago, I was off to bed, my head racing with all these thoughts. As I went to turn off the computer, I decided to spend a few minutes checking in on some fellow hsb. As I pulled up nsremom's blog and started to read I had total "God speaking to me through some one's Blog moment".  No matter what the grass looks like on the other side, I can either follow what God has called me to do... or not. Instantly, my soul properly realigned itself and my priorities fell back into place. How silly I was to believe I needed a "perfect" body, or that my life would be better without my precious children around, or that I should get a (gasp) job.. come on, I've never wanted a job.. where did that idea come from????

 As I was writing this, my oldest came sleepy eyed out of her room, complaining of not being able to sleep. I kissed her goodnight, told her to get back to bed, and as she left I said "oh honey, I'm never sending you to school, OK. I'm homeschooling you forever!" Her reply "cool mom. love ya." You know, I think when I feel wishy washy... she does too, but our firm stance and conviction brings our children peace. My kids deserve the peace that comes from knowing their Momma will always try to follow God, and not throw in the towel one day for nice abs.  

  So, with new found conviction, and some cheesy Amy Grant songs playing in my head.... I'm off to bed with peace, and a joyful heart.

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  Yup, I've got it big time. It seems like the second Christmas is over, I'm ready for the snow to be gone, the sun to come out and the flowers to bloom. These last few months of Winter drag on forever.

  Today I got a glimpse of what I have to look forward to. It is a warm, sunny day and I can't seem to contain my joy!!! My children are the same way. My sons went outside to "garden", and next thing I know, they are outside in shorts and t-shirts having a water fight. Now when I say it is a warm day, I mean warm for winter (it's not even 55 degrees!)   My girls are  riding their bikes to the near by grain silo, and making plans for their Summer adventures, and I am thinking about flowers. Do any of you green thumb people know if it's too late to plant bulbs?

  I cleaned off my front porch and scrubbed off all the kitty prints. I'm thinking it needs a fresh coat of white paint. I am also finding myself staring at the buds on the lilac bushes with anticipation.

  I can't wait to get my hands in the dirt. I can't wait to hear the birds sing again. I can't wait for the nights to get longer, and the days to be brighter. Then I look up at my calendar and see it's only January 8th. I've got a long way to go... and a BAD case of Spring Fever. 

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  I've had blog issues for the last week. I was not able to post comments. I read many of my friends blogs and couldn't comment! That was SO hard. I'm a talker.... and I always want to do what I can't (sin nature maybe?) So it drove me CRAZY. Anyway, I forgot all the "savvy" comments I HAD written, and trying to recreate my creative moments.... just doesn't happen.

  Our Christmas was great. We did the family thing, received and gave far to many presents, and ate a little too much junk. All and all we enjoyed a relaxing Christmas.  I am needing to re-break my sugar habit. I go long periods of time with out chocolate, and sugary foods, then the Holiday's hit. Now I just want more and more of the stuff. I wake up in the middle of the night and think... Christmas candy! Seriously, I am like a crack fiend when it comes to sugar. MUST BREAK CYCLE BEFORE POUNDS START PILING ON! It is so bad. I get terrible headaches every time I eat even a little bit. Why do I subject myself to such misery? The day after Christmas I worked out for 90 minutes trying to right my wrongs, then I rationalized Gum drops an hour later.... I don't even like Gum Drops! UGH! SUGAR MADDNESS.

  On a different note, I have to share my two favorite presents. I got great gifts from my overindulging relatives, but of everything, my favorite was an apron my daughter gave me. I LOVE aprons. They make me feel SO domestic goddessy (yes I know that's not a word). It is a vintage apron with little blue flowers all over it. So pretty. I know I must look odd. I'm wearing jeans and a t-shirt, brown boots and a super frilly apron. I added a strand of pearls to complete the look. I'm going for the backwoods version of Donna Reed. And here is the kicker. I haven't actually felt like cleaning all that much these last few days, so I just lounge around on the couch looking cute (hey I've been dealing with a sugar hang over, what can I say).  I did go out and play football in my apron. My son thought I was a dork, but I totally kicked butt. It's the apron... it has weird powers.

  The other favorite gift was for my youngest son. Someone gave him a spray bottle of BOD cologne. HE'S 4! It quickly became his favorite gift as he thinks it's deodorant. He walks around smelling very "musky" and when anyone comments "what's that smell?" my son proudly replies, "it's my pits".

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  As Christmas is fast approaching, I had found myself  lacking in the "Christmas Spirit" arena. Every year I swear it will be different. Less focus on material things, more time with charities.... Each year I try to beat myself into the "spirit" with scriptures of our saviors birth and Christmas carols singing to his glory. I pass out plates of cookies, buy presents, and attend church. Each year, on December 26th, I find myself no closer to God than before and in serious need of physical, mental, and emotional detox from so many overindulgence's. 

  Somehow, I was missing the point. No amount of Christmas laced propaganda, nor solid scripture reinforcements could evoke the "Christmas Spirit" with in me, but tonight.... I found it. It was in a sweet place called gratitude.

  Today we visited my husbands family. They are unsaved, and live in the pit of a large city. The city my husband and I grew up in. As we drove to their home, in literally hours of stop and go traffic, we were able to get a good look at  what Christ had delivered us from. As we drove by hundreds of check cashing stores, strip clubs, bars, greasy restaurants, and psychics, we could feel the despair. Sad people walked up and down the streets, joyless and alone. Life has no meaning for them. Wandering from one fleshly satisfaction to another, never filling the insatiable need they have for something more .... something I have .... Christ.

  With tears, my husband and I prayed over the streets we drove through today. We prayed God would with all of his mercy come rescue these people, as he had once rescued us.

  Any of those people could have been me. I wasn't always walking with my father. I too was once so alone. Yet he pulled me up out of despair and showered me with gifts of love. He sent me his son to wash me clean, and called me his daughter.

  Today, I finally started to really grasp all Christ has done for me. I have joy, and love, and endless hope. I get to live the fairytale, where no matter how many dragons come my way, in the end, I get better than the prince, I get the KING!

 Today, I saw evil, and perversion, and despair, and in the eyes of these lost souls, I remembered. I remembered not only the pain, but the beauty and glory of deliverance. The freedom of  Christ cutting the chains of bondage. The joy of my past being washed completely clean. Once I remembered this, I was overtaken with extreme gratitude. Christ's birth is so much more than a baby  born in a manger .... it's the birth of deliverance, and hope, and happily ever afters. It is my story of redemption ... and yours. As many times as I've heard the Nativity Story, I am only now starting to really get it. Now THAT is what Christmas is all about!

                                                   Have A Blessed Christmas!

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 Friday morning, I woke up to my husband getting ready for work. I like to s-t-r-e-t-c-h my sleeping time as much as possible, but instead of nodding back off to sleep (as I usually do) I felt a nudge in my spirit, a prompting to get up and pray for a safe drive to work for my husband. As I watched him pull away, I prayed quietly to myself. I decided to go back to bed, but again felt prompted to pray for my husbands safety. Not usually feeling this type of burden during prime sleeping hours, I thought it best I continue. It had been snowy the last week, but the roads were completely clear and my husband had traveled safely back and forth to work the last few days. I figured I was just being paranoid. 

  About 30 minutes later I got a call from my husband. On the way to work he hit a patch of black ice at 60 mph. He said his truck had spun around on the road several times and he was sure he was going to (at best case scenario) total his truck, worse case scenario.... let's not even go there. He said he felt "prompted" to just let go of the wheel and miraculously, the truck straitened itself out, and he was able to continue on to work as though nothing happened. We rejoiced over God's deliverance!

 Later that night I had a visit with my family, and I told them of my husbands close call. My mother looked at me in shock and said "Early this morning I woke up and felt a strong need to pray for your husbands safe arrival at work, and I NEVER have felt that before!" Again, we rejoiced at God's faithfulness, and thanked him for his promptings to pray.

                          GOD USES OUR PRAYERS!!!!

On a side note: I used to get up early and pray every morning, lately, I just get around to it when it's "convenient". This experience has offered valuable insight. If I would have waited until it was convenient, it would have been too late. I think it's time to rekindle some of my old "good" habits!

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 How was that for a long title? 

 Goodness, blogging just must not be my thing lately. Busy with the holidays.... busy with the kids.... busy with life. Also, I discovered Grey's Anatomy on DVD. Oh, such trash TV, but oh so addicting! Needless to say. the few evenings I actually stay awake long enough to blog, I end up watching Mc Dreamy instead.

  Homeschooling has been going a bit slow. We are trying to just squeeze in the basics these last couple of weeks. Math, English, and prayer. Tomorrow I had planned on getting a bit of History done, but I am watching snow falling outside my window and thinking "snow day".

  How was all of your Thanksgivings? Ours was ..... interesting. We love all of our family, but the big Holiday conversation "no no" came up. POLITICS.

 My father is an affluent red neck Republican who believes in God but HATES religion. My husbands parents are Liberal, agnostic, Wiccans, and my husband and I are hard core Christian Conservatives. I kept my mouth shut (THAT my friends is a miracle). My husband quoted Rush Limbaugh (It was a good quote) and his father said something along the lines of wishing he had a headache the night of his son's conception. Ugh! Yet somehow I still kept my mouth shut.

   Somewhere between racial profiling and a debate about Hillary Clinton my husband and I changed our minds about having a "dry" Thanksgiving and tuned out our parents with Merlot and pie (oh, and my husband has fingernail marks on his thighs... thanks to his dear QUIET wife) Did I mention how hard that was for me? God is good, because my over opinionated mouth would have caused serious damage.

  Moving on to something more pleasant. Shopping. Ahhhhhh that's better. Today my dear husband took me dress shopping! We have several Christmas parties to attend this year and he bought me not one, not two, but THREE gorgeous dresses. Am I spoiled or what! Before you think we are too indulgent, let me assure you two of them were well over 50% off and we just couldn't resist the great bargain. One I can wear to church, but the other two have way too much taffeta and sparkle. Ooooh... SPARKLE!

  Well, I guess that's it for now. I could go on, but I wont bore you with the mundane. Blessings ~K

The boys were not too happy about the "nice" clothes.

I don't know why these pictures look so blurry online,

but if you could see them clearly, you'd see their BEST

demon boy faces (they practice those.. really they do)

My husband and I...surviving Thanksgiving.

That which does not kill you, makes you stronger!

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 Yeah, I know... I NEVER blog anymore, and when I finally do, I want something! So, if any of you out there haven't totally given up on my blog (or lack their of) I need some suggestions. I am buying my girls a stereo for Christmas (they LOVE music) and I thought I'd join the Christian music club that lets you get 12 Cd's for a penny or something like that, then you are indebted to them for life (or at least until you buy 3 Cd's at $20 each + $5,000,000 shipping.

  SOOOO what I need are music suggestions. I have lived without a decent Christian radio station for well over a year and I'm clueless to what's out there. The last Cd's that my girls bought... and loved were The Barlowgirls, Newsboys, and Zoe Girl.... that should give you a good idea of what they like.. christian pop basically. Even if it's not pop and you love it, share! I was thinking about getting a few Cd's for myself!  ~K

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  Homeschoolers have always been stereotyped as "weird". I'm going to be honest here. It has bothered me that I was clumped in with a group known for being social misfits, having bad hair (my husband and I lovingly refer to it as "homeschool hair"), and strange attire (remember, I've always admitted to being a little shallow).  

  I will never forget my first visit to a homeschool support group. We saw  all the stereo types. Boys in grey sweats, denim jumpers, doily collars, homeschool hair that should be illegal, AND.... a homeschooler in a cape. A CAPE! (We've often joked about that one over the years.)

  We knew we were called to homeschool our kids, but this sensory overload was daunting to say the least. We obeyed the Lord and homeschooled, but spent the next 5 years trying to prove to the world, and ourselves, that we were not one of those homeschoolers. Homeschoolers can be hip and fashionable. They don't have to have odd interests, and a Lord of the Rings obsession.

 OK, now that I've probably offended 1/2 of you, stay with me, I'm almost to the epiphany part.

  Last Sunday, I met a lady at church (she's new to town) and we hit it off. She had a great personality, kids my kids age, and seemed like she had a strong relationship with the Lord. Best of all, she seemed so NORMAL. We exchanged numbers and agreed to talk more.

  Yesterday we did just that. She talked about how much she loved her kids school. She raved about the well behaved kids and the involment of the parents. OK, this sounded pretty good, so I asked, "what about the school teaching world views? Aren't you concerned about your kids being bombarded with evolution or the homosexual agenda?" (I get right to the point, can you tell?)

  Her response floored me. "I want my children to accept diverse people and ideas, and not be so close minded". WOW! This lady had bought the liberal world view hook line and sinker! Then it occurred to me, this IS normal. It's normal for Americans (even church going ones) go against biblical truths in favor of a world view, it's hard to go against the grain! No one wants to be the weird one, right?

  Epiphany time. I DON'T want to be normal! I want to go against the world's corrupt ideas and instead embrace the will of my God! If that makes me weird so be it.

  Yesterday evening, my husband and I talked about the conversation I had earlier that day, and he said, "I'd much rather our kids befriend a homeschooler in a cape than a wishy washy Christian kids with a liberal world view."

  So, here we are full circle. Suddenly that caped homeschooler isn't so bad, and normal doesn't look so good.  I'd much rather have friends with substance and a firm relationship with the Lord, than be normal.

 Finally I've made peace with the caped homeschooler, and in the process, I've made peace with myself. ~K

      And do not be conformed to this world, but transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Romans 12:2

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