Hi everyone!!!!!!  I found this tract yesterday in my sister's room and thought I would put some of the one liners on my blog. I might put the rest on some other time. Thanks for reading!!!!!!!!! Please leave a comment!!!!!!! OH, and if you have a hard time reading this entry because of the color of the font try highlighting it.

1. Borrow money from a pessimist-they don't expect it back.

2. Time is what keeps everything from happening all at once.

3. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

4. Always go to other people's funerals, or they won't go to yours.

5. Few women admit their age; few men act it.

6. If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

7. No one is listing until you make a mistake.

8. We have enough youth. How about a fountain of "smart"?

9. He who laughs last thinks the slowest.

10. Campers: Natures way of feeding mosquitoes.

11. Always remember you are unique; just like everyone else.

12. There are three kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

13 .I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.

14. Out of my mind be back in 5 minutes.

15. A clear conscience is usually a sign of bad memory.

16. As long as there are tests. There will be prayer in public schools.

17. Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let here sleep.

18. The severity of an itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.

19. You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

20. I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

21. We were born naked, wet and hungry. Then things got worse.

22. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose you nursing home.

23. At first if you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

24. I wonder how deep the ocean would be with out sponges.

24. Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway

25. God made mankind. Sin made him evil.

26. I don't find it hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere.

27. I just let my mind wonder, and it didn't come back.

28. Work is for people whose don't know how to fish.

29. If you don't like the news, go out and make some.

30. IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.

31. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not sure.

32. I can handle pain till it hurts.

33. Gravity always gets me down.

34. This statement is false.

35. They told me I was gullible... and I believed them.

36. The Big Bang Theory: God spoke and BANG! It happened.

37. Despite the cost of living, Have you noticed how it remains so popular?

38. A day without sunshine is like night.

39. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

40. Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines (I just got that one...lol)

41. Life is too complicated in the morning.

42. We are all part of the ultimate statistic-ten out of ten die.

43. Nobody's perfect. I'm a nobody.

44. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of bread.

45. If Barbie is so popular then why is everyone buying her friends?

46. I intend to live forever. So far so good.

47. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

48. I used to have an opened mind but my brain kept falling out

49. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

50. Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

Well... maybe most of them!!

CowboyKing