We have officially started school at our house.    Funny, it really isn’t our house but I guess it is going to be at least for a while.  As I may have said before we are staying with my Grandmother, we have been staying here since we got back from California.  At first it was going to be temporary and then we felt like she did not need to be living by herself and didn’t know what to do. 

Well, now we know she doesn’t need to be by herself. Our family has learned this week that she has cancer and that there really isn’t any treatment option that would be reasonable for an 81-year-old woman, that is tired of being on this earth.  She has not been happy about living since her husband died the week after their 50^th Wedding Anniversary.  I know that would probably upset me too and since then she has been through a lot of health issues, in fact in her life time she has come through a lot of health issues that most of us have not had to deal with including at least two other types of cancer as well as having Emphysema.  She has never really liked going to doctor and well I think she just wants wait for her time to go.  I think she is hoping for sooner rather than later. 

She has decided that she wants to stay at her home, and she wants my family to stay with her.  Now, I thought she might like for us to go, I mean my family can wear out a healthy person but she wants us to stay.  So I feel like it is my duty to try and make all of us as comfortable as possible.  I don’t know where to begin.  I know there are things that my family would really want, if it isn’t considered a need, that she might not be too comfortable with or understand.  I mean what am I supposed to do with a lot of stuff that has accumulated over the last 50 + years. I don’t want to upset her but how do I go about helping her to change things when she is so resistant to change.  I don’t think I can continue to live out of suitcases much longer. 

I am willing to compromise but is she willing to also? What will she be willing to let go of in order to make room for some of our things as well?  I don’t want my kids to ruin something of hers even by accident and kids don’t always understand that everything is not a toy. I will just continue to pray that there will be peace in the house and in each individual as we try to make these adjustments in our lives. I am anxious to feel like I have a home and am not just a guest in someone’s house.

Lord, please help us to see You in all that is about to go on in our family.  Help me please, to show my children how to care for the sick and show mercy to the hurting as well as how to take care of ourselves in a healthy way both physically and spiritually. Please, help my grandmother to understand that some change is good to grow. Please help her to be willing to compromise and be able to tell me what she wants and is willing to do, that we may all live in peace and reasonable harmony.  I expect some rough times but I know that Your grace is sufficient to see us through.

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Posted by ktneis

You are right in staying and keeping her comfortable. You need to explain to her that in order to stay you all need to find a place for your things and she needs to help you decide which of her things need to be put away for now. Explain that you do not mean to take the things away but you do not want them broke and you need to unpack some neccessary things for yourselves to make this work. Tell her how much you love her and enjoy being with her and do a story time with her and the kids, she can share so much of her life with them. This will make her feel important. You can include her in decisions and school time if it is appropriate to her and doesn't stress her out. With the cancer she will decline and the kids will be watching all of this, so you need to tell the kids to be patient and kind with her and tell them not to be afraid. I am sorry if you feel I am lecturing you, I truly do not mean to do that. I just thought you may want some ideas and help with this. You propbably already know these things but just wanted to help ease some of your stress. You have friends here that will help if you ask, or don't ask. God Bless you and your family.

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Posted by Rolea

I was browsing about and found you, and your situation with grandmother. I know this will work out to be a profitable time, ie: Romans 8:28, but i will be praying for your family.
Thank you for sharing. I'll check back later.

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Posted by tn3jcarter

It was great catching up with you all at McD the other day. Just stopped by here to see if you had posted anything new. Do you have your RSS feed turned on in your settings? I am going to try and add your blog to my bloglines list. :o)
~Nancy

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