I have serious issues with cooking a turkey.
The first one I tried to cook was, well, many years ago.
Many years.
It caught on fire in the oven.
No joke.

It was also the last one I tried to cook.

After that, I learned to accept invitations to the homes of friends.
I could bring a side or a dessert.
No problem.

Or I could simply order a whole meal from whatever grocery store was nearest.
I did that a few times.

Then my wonderful husband retired from the military and we moved near family.
It's easier for them to come here.

But I still don't cook the turkey.

Well, I do cook it.

After my mom comes to my house and gets it ready,
I'm actually the one who puts it in the oven and turns on the heat.

But I refuse to put my hands into the places that no self-respecting turkey would allow.
I just didn't know Mr. Tom that well....
And I fear starting my house on fire.

But I do eat.
I'm really good at that!

Sorry, Mr. Tom.