Proverbs 31, 10-31

10  An excellent wife, who can find?

   For her worth is far above jewels.

         [Lord, I'm really swamped! I could sure use an excellent wife...]

11  The heart of her husband trusts in her,

    And he will have no lack of gain.

         [About that, Lord... I'm just not up to the task! And... no lack of gain? Actually, we just seem to major in spending all his money, not helping him to gain...]

12   She does him good and not evil

    All the days of her life.

         [I know some women who seem this way, but frankly, God, I've been guilty of doing him some evil....]

13   She looks for wool and flax,

   And works with her hands in delight.

        [Yes, Lord, I've brought home the wool and the flax... I've got about a 10'X10'X2' storage area full of the fabrics...  I guess, mostly, I've accomplished the first part of the verse but failed to get the projects made, although it is with delight when I manage to...]

14  She is like merchant ships; [Are you calling me fat?]

    She brings her food from afar.  [Giant? Safeway?...]

15  She rises also while it is still night, [Not if I can help it!]

    And gives food to her household, [Gotta love cold cereal!]

    And portions to her maidens. [About that, Lord... I've been looking for those maidens for years! If I could just find them, I could get so much more done every day!]

16   She considers a field and buys it; [No way! Do you know the price of a field in this area?]

     From her earnings she plants a vineyard. [What earnings? I just spent my money buying a field!]

17   She girds herself with strength, [Do they sell that in the clothing department at Wal-Mart?]

     And makes her arms strong. [That's from carrying babies and groceries, right?]

18   She senses that her gain is good;  [No, Lord! I was trying to lose weight, not gain it!]

    Her lamp does not go out at night.  [Now you're talking my language. That's why I can't get up in the morning while it is still night...]

19   She stretches out her hands to the distaff, [I didn't inherit the family distaff...]

   And her hands grasp the spindle. [My sewing machine doesn't have a spindle, just a bobin...]

20   She extends her hand to the poor; [Is that, like, to show them that I don't have any money to give them?]

     And she stretches out her hands to the needy. [Would that mean my 6 year old? or my 16 year old?]

21   She is not afraid of the snow for her household, [Nah, we all love the snow.]

     For all her household are clothed with scarlet. [But I look terrible in red! And I can't my daughter to wear it either...]

22   She makes coverings for herself; [I wish I had the time...]

    Her clothing is fine linen and purple. [Lately I go more for gray polar fleece...]

23   Her husband is known in the gates, [We don't have any gates...]

    When he sits among the elders of the land. [If he sits down, I don't think he's ever gonna get up again...]

24   She makes linen garments and sells them, [She must have more time than I do, since she's got those maidens cleaning her house and homeschooling her kids...]

    And supplies belts to the tradesmen. [I haven't seen any tradesmen looking for belts...]

25   Strength and dignity are her clothing, [Are those sold at Wal-Mart too?]

    And she smiles at the future.  [It's gotta be better than today, maybe...]

26  She opens her mouth in wisdom, [Usually it's wiser to keep my mouth shut...]

   And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.  [Like, "Please stop hitting the dog with that stick!"?]

27   She looks well to the ways of her household, [I'm looking, Lord, but there's not always something I can do to remedy the situation...]

   And does not eat the bread of idleness.  [I work pretty hard, Lord, but I feel kinda idle when I'm blogging...]

28   Her children rise up and bless her; [mostly only if I sneeze...]

   Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:

29   Many daughters have done nobly,

   But you excel them all."  [I don't remember him saying exactly that...]

30  Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, [That's good, cause I left it behind about ten years ago...]

   But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.  [I do well to fear because, in spite of His grace, I've still got a long way to go...]

31  Give her the product of her hands,  [Is this a curse? or a blessing?]

   And let her works praise her in the gates.  [Those works are kinda few, Lord.  I'm still looking for those maidens.  In the meantime, I gotta go now, Lord.  The 6 year old has a play date, and the 16 year old needs more driving time towards her driver's license...]

D